Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
190
Man Feels Like A “Mug” When Wife Goes Out And Leaves Kids With Him, Netizens Mock Him
Isn’t it awful that the world we live in still frowns upon women having a social life after marriage and kids? I mean, we live in the 21st century, it’s high time we put an end to patriarchy and let women enjoy their lives just as much as their husbands do.
Just look at the original poster’s (OP) husband who kept whining and whinging because he had to look after the kids when she went out with her friends. To top it off, her parents’ remarks about this situation simply cranked up the tension that was already brewing between the couple!
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
We live in the 21st century, but women having a social life after marriage is still frowned upon
Image credits: olia danilevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster has a social life apart from marriage where, twice a year, she stays overnight with friends and also goes out with them every few months
Image credits: IneffableCat
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her parents have often commented on this, claiming that the “poor husband” has to look after the kids while mum goes out “gallivanting”
Image credits: IneffableCat
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After these comments, when she had to go out, her husband said that she was treating him like a “mug” by leaving the kids with him and taking advantage of him
Image credits: IneffableCat
Her mom has also commented that her friends are child-free so they have more time, and she needs to find friends with kids
In today’s story, our protagonist fell prey to some of the oldest social evils that still prominently persist in our society, patriarchy and societal expectations of how mothers should be. Her crime? Having a social life even after marriage and kids!
She tells us that she goes to stay over with friends twice a year and even meets them for meals and the cinema every few months, while the kids stay with her husband. This might all sound normal to us, but on occasion, her parents have felt that her “poor husband” was looking after the children again while she was out “gallivanting”. Ugh, speak about being archaic!
One time, when she had a plan to go to London, her husband knew about it before and at that time he mentioned that he didn’t care what she did, but after the comments from her parents, he contradicted himself. He said that she treats him like a “sap” and a “mug”, and she was walking all over him by “dumping” the kids on him.
When the scenario repeated, he claimed that he was yet again being treated as a mug, and she should’ve informed him before. OP explained that she was only going to be gone a few hours, and even we think that’s not too much to ask from a partner.
Well, apparently not, because her mom said that her friends are child-free, so it’s alright for them and she needs to find friends with kids. Probably feeling confused by the situation, OP vented online, mentioning how her husband’s hobby is playing video games and he’s not at all interested in having his own social life.
OP also added that one of her children is disabled, and although she loves him a lot, it’s exhausting and challenging looking after him, and these breaks with friends really help.
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It has been observed, “Raising a child with special needs can be physically, emotionally and financially draining and over time, this can take an emotional toll on caregivers. They often report feelings of stress, anxiety, guilt, or inadequacy.” Well, no wonder the poster said that the breaks with friends helped her.
Research also suggests that parents of special needs children experience a higher rate of burnout. It’s only natural for any human being to ask for some “me time” and many people pointed out that the husband and parents need to stop tormenting the woman about it.
Netizens also said that their behavior was typical of societal expectations that mothers should sacrifice their social lives after having kids, and act as a “perfect mother”. Research has shown that women’s experiences of pressure toward perfect parenting are related to higher levels of guilt and stress.
This just makes us wonder whether the poor poster was feeling this guilt and stress when she posted her story, and if yes, our hearts definitely go out to her. Another aspect that Redditors highlighted was how the husband was complaining about looking after the kids; after all, he’s their father and just as responsible for them as she is.
They felt that his lack of social life is not her fault and that his trying to stop her from having it is unreasonable. People also said that her mom was unnecessarily getting involved in her life and they felt she should set up clear boundaries with her. Some even suggested that if the parents have such a big problem with the “poor husband” being left with the kids, they should babysit them.
What advice would you give to someone stuck in a similar situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Netizens sided with the poster and said that the husband should get his own life and stop complaining about looking after his own kids
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Why is your mother sticking her nose in? Is she volunteering to babysit a large posse of children when you get friends with children and they all need babysitting when you go out together?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Does he stay home watching black and white gangster films and WC Fields stand up? No moll treats me like a sap, ya hear? This dame, thinks she can take me for a mug? Well she'll be sleeping with the fishes once Baby Face Giambi is through with her!
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
But it is a refreshing change from the Tate Podcast Alpha male vocabulary
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
When he is gaming, he is ”dumping” the kids on you, I’d guess. He can’t game and play with the kids at the same time. Having like six childfree outings in a year sounds very, very little, to me, pretty far from ”all the time”. How old is your mom; 110? My mom is 76 and would never say a stupid thing like that! He’s their dad, for crikey’s sake, just as reponsible for them as you are. If he’s a ”mug” for caring for them, then so are you, and much more often, by the sound of things.
Paulina 1 year ago
I don't understand why many people commented negatively on husband's hobby of video games and say he has no life. Dudes, games are perfectly valid way of spending time and "life" is about what makes you feel pleasure, not going out. Some people just like it that way, and that's OK. OP, the wife, seems to understand that, why do many others can't?
Schmebulock 1 year ago
I'm not sure if this is how they say it in the UK, but tell them all to eat a bag of knobs.
Rachel Hendricks 1 year ago
Her parents are the issue, tell her mum to butt out. It's called parenting, she's not "dumping" his children on him, and from the sounds of the story she has a healthy, normal social life. Maybe hubby should get a game night, rotating between friends houses, get out of the house more frequently than the family events?
Just stopping by 1 year ago
The parents need to mind their business and hush. It seems like their comments started the issue and it's growing into resentment in him. Nothing is stopping him from living but his own preferences.
ThisIsMe 1 year ago
When we first got married, husband was concerned that I didn't go out with my friends much, while he had lots of activities with his male friends. Fast forward a few years, no kids and now I have regular lunch dates with female friends, girls weekends, and go visit out of town friends 2-3 times a year (women with families, or gay men). He doesn't go out anywhere without me - no hobbies outside the home, no bar buddies...just sees "our friends" with me. And it is all good. It can be good when you trust and respect each other.
TribbleThinking 1 year ago
Why is your mother sticking her nose in? Is she volunteering to babysit a large posse of children when you get friends with children and they all need babysitting when you go out together?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
Does he stay home watching black and white gangster films and WC Fields stand up? No moll treats me like a sap, ya hear? This dame, thinks she can take me for a mug? Well she'll be sleeping with the fishes once Baby Face Giambi is through with her!
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
But it is a refreshing change from the Tate Podcast Alpha male vocabulary
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 1 year ago
When he is gaming, he is ”dumping” the kids on you, I’d guess. He can’t game and play with the kids at the same time. Having like six childfree outings in a year sounds very, very little, to me, pretty far from ”all the time”. How old is your mom; 110? My mom is 76 and would never say a stupid thing like that! He’s their dad, for crikey’s sake, just as reponsible for them as you are. If he’s a ”mug” for caring for them, then so are you, and much more often, by the sound of things.
Paulina 1 year ago
I don't understand why many people commented negatively on husband's hobby of video games and say he has no life. Dudes, games are perfectly valid way of spending time and "life" is about what makes you feel pleasure, not going out. Some people just like it that way, and that's OK. OP, the wife, seems to understand that, why do many others can't?
Schmebulock 1 year ago
I'm not sure if this is how they say it in the UK, but tell them all to eat a bag of knobs.
Rachel Hendricks 1 year ago
Her parents are the issue, tell her mum to butt out. It's called parenting, she's not "dumping" his children on him, and from the sounds of the story she has a healthy, normal social life. Maybe hubby should get a game night, rotating between friends houses, get out of the house more frequently than the family events?
Just stopping by 1 year ago
The parents need to mind their business and hush. It seems like their comments started the issue and it's growing into resentment in him. Nothing is stopping him from living but his own preferences.
ThisIsMe 1 year ago
When we first got married, husband was concerned that I didn't go out with my friends much, while he had lots of activities with his male friends. Fast forward a few years, no kids and now I have regular lunch dates with female friends, girls weekends, and go visit out of town friends 2-3 times a year (women with families, or gay men). He doesn't go out anywhere without me - no hobbies outside the home, no bar buddies...just sees "our friends" with me. And it is all good. It can be good when you trust and respect each other.
You May Like Man Weirded Out By Pregnant Friend Who Treats Him Like The Father And Wants Him At The Delivery Man Skips Long-Awaited Off-Day With Wife To Hang With His Buddy, Leaves Her Locked Out In Rain
Gabija Palšytė
Rūta Zumbrickaitė
Related on Bored Panda
34
22