I think it's a great test, nobody should have to justify not wanting to do something to someone they've just met. I'm only shocked that anyone fails it.

I love this. I inadvertently used this last year. I was asked out and told him that I had a work event on Friday and could meet any other evening that week. He calls two days later and tells me that he made a reservation for Friday so I reminded him that I was not available on Friday and asked to reschedule. He became unreasonable and told me to cancel my other plans. I noped right the heck out of that conversation. He then became abusive on social media and I had to block him. This wasn't even a planned test, but I love it and will use it from now on.

As a guy I've experienced this problem too. Ages ago I dated someone and she always decided where to go... mostly because I was easy going and didn't care. My response was "whatever works for you, I'm not fussy", but I remember one time saying "hey lets go to ___ for dinner", and she said "No, I don't feel like it"... I brushed it off and went her way, I didn't really care. But then I eventually noticed I NEVER got to choose. So one time I pressed "I would really like to go here, this time. You keep saying 'some other time' but I want to go now", and she immediately went to "why are you making such a big deal about this, what is your problem?"... and went on the attack. Caught me off guard.

I don't have an issue with men or women doing these little tests. Too many crazies out there on both sides.

To make this even simpler - this is a good habit to form to just notice behaviour and pay attention in general - regardless of what kind of relationship it is. New friend? New co-worker? New Partner? It's someone you're planning to be in frequent contact with. In truth, very early on, many people *do* just automatically have to disagree on something very minor - but it's sooo minor that it's just called a negotiation or "we worked it out". Soooo minor that if the other person was somewhat unreasonable about it, we just handwaved the whole thing. Hindsight is 20/20. Was trying to get to know a person (new friend, maybe). I said: "I would like to share about me, but don't want to make others uncomfortable. I need the other person to ask me things so I know they are interested in knowing" - the response was "Well, if you don't feel comfortable, just don't say anything" and they proceeded to go on and on about themselves. Hmmm... Let's think about that...

I think you should always weed out people who want to wear matching color shirts.

No, I don't want to read articles like that.

When a woman--or anyone else--says "No," they are not required to give a reason or make excuses for themselves. "No" means "No."

I missed those flags and went for a dinner in the place he sellected and so on. The place required fancy outfit, which I hate wearing, but ok. Then once we got menu, he started ordering things FOR ME, without even letting me say the word. He ordered milk shake, not knowing I'm lactose intolerant and of course not even asking my choice. We never met again :)

Automatic disqualifiers would be if they're a bad tipper, are glued to their phone, talk on and on about themselves, spend more time getting ready than I do, repeatedly calls himself a good guy (who is he trying to convince?) or my pets don't like them. And any guy who has a problem with any of the above tactics are exactly why we need them, to weed out people like that. We just want someone who is kind, can make us laugh, treats us as equals, respects us and is a good person at heart. We want to genuinely like the person as well as love them.

I get why someone would be motivated to try and test the level of crazy of their potential partner. Personally I would never ever do this though. I just hate it when people are aloof and vague or not detailed. Actually if I wanted to know if I’d vibe with a man and do an actual TEST, then I’d have to act exactly as I always do, which is talkative and overly detailed. I’ll say no and give a two minute explanation because I want my intentions to be super clear. Lots of guys might not like that. Maybe some people would rather have a straight “no” and not my rambling answers. Probably my own fiancé lol.

Wish I'd thought of it. Went on a computer date and was really excited because he seemed like a great fit. Complained about the drive/traffic/day at work before he even greeted me. THEN was incredibly rude & obnoxious to the waiter. I just got up and left. What's next, kicking puppies or small children? Not worth my time.

Now they all know, and it is much less likely to work.

Unfortunately, this doesn't work for me. I'm an Asperger and rescheduling anything that is already decided is very, very, VERY stressful. Plus, I'd definitely ask why she wants to reschedule, not because I want to control her, but because a set schedule is a BIG thing for me, so if you ask me to reschedule I'll always assume the worst (like "oh gosh is she alright?, is she hurt?, has her house caught fire?!"). I can control this kind of behaviour, but it would mean lots and lots of additional stress. It's sad, because it led to some severe misunderstandings in the past, before I got diagnosed (now I'll just hand my "I'm autistic, please don't do this and warn me if I do that" list).

I just love the phrase, "big gay s**t phase" XD. But I can't honestly imagine how much of a douchebag you are to be offended by this.

Saying no--or even testing your date by casually saying no--to something is okay. I get that the point is to see how your date would react. What is not okay, to me, is seeing follow up questions as another red flag. What is wrong with your date saying "Okay, coffee shop B works for me. What do you hate from coffee shop A?"

Yep - and men have their own litmus tests, e.g. women's reaction to the dinner bill. And instead of splitting each one at first, I like to alternate paying, that way I get to see how good of a tipper she is. Lots of good intel there.

An alternative to this is just getting to know the person you're with, this is stupid and will tell you nothing about your potential partner. If you're going on a blind date and there is concern for your safety then meeting somewhere public or where you can get help from your friends is a far better strategy than seeing if the person is laid back about changing venues at the last minute. I think throwing out tests like this is a bigger red flag than anything else that is mentioned here.

Put the shoe on the other foot. Would you want to be tested like this? There are better ways to get to know somebody than mind games. I gave up on dating over 15 years ago because of s**t like this. Ill tell you ladies there isn't a single one of you worth putting up with this kind of crap.

Sounds great... Only works one way though. If men rejected women because of the "say no for something minor without explanation" test, the human species would cease to exist.

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I dont like this and im a woman maybe it's my anxiety or something. Saying no to small things and not giving a reason as simple as I dont feel like it seems silly. It also gets a little infuriating if you continually do it. If you just say no bluntly to me when I ask to hang out Thursday and dont give me a reason im going to assume you just dont want to hang out with me. Im suggesting the date at my earliest convenience so that we dont have to wait to see each other. I need reasons so I know whether in wasting my time or not. You dont wanna were the same colored shirts why? It's to make finding each other more convenient so do you have a better idea or do you just not want to? If you turn me down for no reason as a person with anxiety im going to make up things in my head and freak out.

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However minor, you're testing someone with a lie. Personality traits have to be discovered naturally, not though fabricated tests. How would you feel if a guy told you a minor lie just to see how you would react? I bet you wouldn't like it.