Harsh truths about people's lives are rarely easy to talk about, but these women need to be heard, their stories need to be out in the open for everyone to see. Twitter user Emrazz, aka the Feminist Next Door, sparked an important discussion online when she asked her followers to share how old they were when men started making them “feel uncomfortable or unsafe” in their own body.
What follows are some of the most honest and powerful responses you’re likely to see on social media in recent days. Twitter users opened up about how they were on the receiving end of harassment and improper behavior and it is shocking. What’s even worse is that some of the people who made these women feel unsafe were the people closest to them.
More info: Twitter | Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
I was 8 years old. A boy in my class chased me around the playground trying to force kisses on me. He even tore my shirt. Other girls in my class tried to protect me and I was even forced to lock myself in the bathroom during recess. I ended up getting in trouble for it. Get this, an eight year old is being SEXUALLY HARASSED by a classmate and their efforts to protect themselves from it get them in trouble. I was forced back to class a crying and terrified mess while all he got was a reminder to "not do it during school time". He started following me home and he wouldn't stop. Eventually I had really had enough and gave him a black eye and a fractured nose. Left me alone after that.
Twitter user Emrazz describes herself as ‘Putting hard things into 280 characters with moderate success.’ Her willingness to tackle harsh issues has also made her the target of criticism online, with some people calling her account to allegedly be “objectively the worst.”
However, Emrazz wears that as a badge of pride. She also jokes in her Twitter bio that she will “tweet for mini muffins.” Meanwhile, on her Instagram, she points out that she doesn’t hate men as some internet users might think. However, she can’t stand misogyny. “I don’t hate men but I do hate misogyny. Stop doing that.”
Previously, Bored Panda spoke to Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to put an end to harassment in all its forms. Emily explained that parents need to find some time to speak to their children about one of the most difficult topics of all—harassment.
“Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about puberty before it happens, but few take the time to talk to their kids about harassment, even though almost half will be harassed by older men by the time they turn 12,” she said.
“We need to equip young people with resources including: what harassment is, what it looks like, how prevalent it is, why it isn’t ok—and most importantly, that it’s never their fault,” Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ told Bored Panda.
According to her, most young women blame themselves after being victims of harassment. This results in them being more hesitant to talk with their parents and loved ones about what happened.
This happened to a friend of mine. She was raped a lot at a very young age by neighborhood kids. She didn't even realize or process until high school, and it broke her.
Jesus Christ. This is disgusting. How could a father be so gross, like WTF??
Emily pointed out that victims of harassment are afraid that their family members will ask them questions like, “Why were you wearing that?” or, “Why did you take that route?”
“In the same way we tell our teenage kids that if they get drunk and don’t feel safe driving home we will pick them up from wherever they are, no questions asked—we also need to tell our kids that if someone harasses them we will never, ever blame them for it or punish them for it. This is important for creating a safe space so that they have a trusted adult they can process these experiences with,” Emily told Bored Panda.
How are there so many school ones, wtf are the teachers doing????
According to Emily from ‘Hollaback!’, regaining the sense of security victims used to have in their local area is challenging but possible. Community plays a strong role in this.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety, however, is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.”
Getting to know the members of your community can help you feel more at ease. You also create potential allies who are likely to help you in case of an emergency. “The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community.”
Argh, all these posts just make me never want to put my (non existing) daughter in a skirt. Which again is so wrong, as a girl should be able to wear whatever she wants.
Earlier still, Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ told Bored Panda more about street harassment and who it can happen to. “Street harassment is sexual, gender-based, and bias-motivated harassment that takes place in public spaces like the street, the supermarket, and the social media we use every day. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces,” she said.
“Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” Emily said that certain groups of people are more vulnerable than others.
Emily explained that there is a whole spectrum of gender-based violence. On one side of the spectrum are stalking, following, and comments about one’s appearance while things like groping are on the other side.
This world sucks. All people should be able to feel comfortable and safe in their bodies.
Rightfully so! Following is never okay and should not be normalized. It is disturbing and creepy.
How about the constant bra strap popping? I decked a guy for that after a solid week. I was grabbed and kissed at 6 by an eight year old. Safe, never. Wary, always.
“If street harassment were about getting dates, it would be what author Marty Langelan calls a ‘spectacularly unsuccessful strategy.’ Instead, street harassment is about ‘putting people in their place. Remember that it’s not your fault. And because it’s not your fault, it’s also not your responsibility to have the perfect response to street harassment. It’s their responsibility not to harass you.”
"you can't play with anybody because you have eyes, they might poke them"
Not me but a child: went round to my good friends house, she has three Kids, youngest was 1.5yr old female. She had a new boarder, but someone our group of friends had known a fair while. Anyway, her daughter had been acting a bit strangely, but on this visit took my hand, tried to lead me to a bedroom. I said 'no sweetie let's go play in the lounge'. She climbed up onto the bed and got in and patted next to her. My stomach dropped. I was only 19 myself and not a mum yet but I knew that was not normal for that wee girl, and I had a gut feeling. Told the mum. Boarder did a runner. I lost touch with my friend but I hope so much that I was wrong, but I'm glad I said something because I knew it wasn't right. (Just like another woman I flatted with got a new nd, he looked at her kids wrong. Like, ogling. No-one believed me, my then bf got angry at me for being suspicious. But I made sure that from the day she started dating him, I hung around and was ALWAYS present when she ...
...would leave him in charge of the kids and go out. I was unemployed so I could be there, always watching over the kids. It annoyed him, he wanted me to go out. Fwd two months, one day he's gone. Vanished. No one was at home but me. Then after an hour or two my bf and a few other mates burst into the house "Where is he!!". Turns out he had finally listened to me, and looked him up on the register. He was there under a different name, prolific paedophile. I think he cottoned on to them figuring it out and ran. The mum and kids as it turned out were out shopping. But I'm so glad I listened to my gut, but angry that I didn't do more and sooner. And I don't understand how no-one could see what was so obvious to me
Load More Replies...I also had to stop reading. I was a late bloomer and inherited quite a large nose from my father. I still remember being mocked by boys and men when I was a teenager. Even my uncle once looked at me laughed and said "God, you're ugly." I was 14 and so insecure I even tried to pretend reading a book walking down the street so I didn't have to look up or draw the attention of teenage boys. When I got older and started looking more and more female and attractive suddenly adult men tried to talk to me, walked after me and so on. Always was scared when I had to pass a construction site because you could be a 100% sure the workers would howl or whistle and comment on your body. I cannot count how often my butt got touched when I went to a club at night. I hardly ever told anyone. I'm in my 40s now and sometimes still feel a little insecure but thankfully it got better the older I became. Also I'm glad those things became more and more inacceptable but they still happen.
Not me but a child: went round to my good friends house, she has three Kids, youngest was 1.5yr old female. She had a new boarder, but someone our group of friends had known a fair while. Anyway, her daughter had been acting a bit strangely, but on this visit took my hand, tried to lead me to a bedroom. I said 'no sweetie let's go play in the lounge'. She climbed up onto the bed and got in and patted next to her. My stomach dropped. I was only 19 myself and not a mum yet but I knew that was not normal for that wee girl, and I had a gut feeling. Told the mum. Boarder did a runner. I lost touch with my friend but I hope so much that I was wrong, but I'm glad I said something because I knew it wasn't right. (Just like another woman I flatted with got a new nd, he looked at her kids wrong. Like, ogling. No-one believed me, my then bf got angry at me for being suspicious. But I made sure that from the day she started dating him, I hung around and was ALWAYS present when she ...
...would leave him in charge of the kids and go out. I was unemployed so I could be there, always watching over the kids. It annoyed him, he wanted me to go out. Fwd two months, one day he's gone. Vanished. No one was at home but me. Then after an hour or two my bf and a few other mates burst into the house "Where is he!!". Turns out he had finally listened to me, and looked him up on the register. He was there under a different name, prolific paedophile. I think he cottoned on to them figuring it out and ran. The mum and kids as it turned out were out shopping. But I'm so glad I listened to my gut, but angry that I didn't do more and sooner. And I don't understand how no-one could see what was so obvious to me
Load More Replies...I also had to stop reading. I was a late bloomer and inherited quite a large nose from my father. I still remember being mocked by boys and men when I was a teenager. Even my uncle once looked at me laughed and said "God, you're ugly." I was 14 and so insecure I even tried to pretend reading a book walking down the street so I didn't have to look up or draw the attention of teenage boys. When I got older and started looking more and more female and attractive suddenly adult men tried to talk to me, walked after me and so on. Always was scared when I had to pass a construction site because you could be a 100% sure the workers would howl or whistle and comment on your body. I cannot count how often my butt got touched when I went to a club at night. I hardly ever told anyone. I'm in my 40s now and sometimes still feel a little insecure but thankfully it got better the older I became. Also I'm glad those things became more and more inacceptable but they still happen.