Am I the only one that felt that the tone of the wife was condescending? I thought about this situation if the roles were reversed: husband comes home and jokes that thank god he 'has a housewife' to take care of things around the house... Like the housewife is a thing? Almost like a maid? It would be rude and condescending imo. I think the tone is the main issue and indicative of the wife's true feelings. If her general tone was 'thank you so much for taking care of these things around the house', there would be no issue, but her tone of 'thank god I have a househusband' just seems like it does bother her that he doesn't provide financially, but says it joke. I'm leaning towards NTA, but a conversation HAS to happen.

There is nothing wrong with being a house husband. What's wrong is the connotation that people have and this isn't helped by the wife talking about her husband in much the same way she would talk about the live-in maid, so to speak.If you look at what a house-person does in terms of a professional work place, it's coordinating, liaising, planning, executing, making prognosis, in other words, a house-person is a manager. On the negative side, research shows that women indeed see their house husband as 'less of a man'. Of course there are exceptions, but this is a general observation and it stems from the fact that many women still retain, deep down where they don't want to confront it, a sense that a man has to provide.

If they were discussing their jobs every now and then and used househusband to describe hubby’s role, I don’t think it should be a big deal. But if she’s calling him househusband every single time she talks about his contributions to the household, I don’t blame him for feeling a bit uncomfortable; to me, it feels like his contributions to the both of them are being downplayed, probably just accidentally. It would be like getting your degree and on the line where your name should be is your brand new job. Or you becoming known for only one thing (mother, father, doctor, student…). I don’t think he’s necessarily egotistical, he just wants recognition in his own name, not his role.

I don't think the issue is the term house husband itself, although the wife saying it with a smirk sounds like mocking - once he pointed out that it's disrespectful, she should avoid referring to it in a way that sounds like she's making fun of him. but the main issue, in my opinion, is his insecurity about hie own role. He seems embarrassed about it, which he shouldn't be. Both housewife and house husband are acceptable terms to describe someone who doesn't have a job and looks after the house while the other partner works full time. Neither is a demeaning or derogatory term. Maybe he prefers the term household manager? Home maker? Senior maintenance facilitator? Chief procurement and administration officer? Doesn't change what he does and, if he can accept that his contributions are valid and valuable, the title shouldn't make a difference. If he cannot, he needs to go find a job to satisfy his ego.

Man I would love to have someone who could stay home and take care of all that stuff. But I probably wouldn’t use the term house husband, just like I wouldn’t use the term housewife. It’s husband or wife, or just use the person’s name!

Get a job, you're going to need it after the divorce.

Being unemployed leaves a bitter taste in one's mouth. What doesn't help is having their role as a SAH spouse mocked. These two need couples counseling, like six months ago. Hubby needs to understand that his role is just as important as that of his wife. She needs to understand that it's not easy to be jobless, and her and her mother literally rubbing it in isn't conducive to a happy marriage. What she's been doing is uncool, and it needs to stop. Hopefully, she will, and not just when her husband is out of earshot.

He either needs to find a job or be confident in his role at home. I don’t know what he thinks he will accomplish by this boycott, she already said she wouldn’t refer him has a house husband.

the term House Husband is no more demeaning than the term "housewife".

NTA I am in exactly the same position as you. I have a flexible creative career that I love but doesn't make much money, therefore I take care of the lion's share of the work that needs to be done around the house, cooking, cleaning, laundering, managing, administering, calling, picking up, dropping off…all between managing my creative career. My husband makes the lion's share of the money. Am I a housewife? No. And I don't appreciate the term because it is inaccurate; just like I'm not the house cook…even though I do all the cooking, I'm also not the laundress…even though I do all the laundry. If my husband ever referred to me as the housewife, there would be a major push back about it. Because he knows and appreciates me, he usually only needs to be told once if something bothers me, and then he doesn't do it again. Your wife, needs to be told several times, with total seriousness. You take care of the house because you love her and deserve her full appreciation and respect.

Many in society believe the term 'housewife' is demeaning these days, but suddenly being called a house husband is not? It's like saying he's the house pet. Certainly she isn't saying that with love or kindness. She could just say 'my husband takes care of that'. Methinks she's gotten too big for her boots since graduating as a 'lawyer' despite the fact that he contributed to her success in graduating. She's basically being nasty at her core.