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“Welcome to the Alpha Zone”: 40 Absurdly Masculine Takes That Are So Bad, They Had To Be Shamed On This Twitter Page (New Posts)
Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.
From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.
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It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.
#2
Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."
By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').
There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.
A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.
#11
David 1 year ago
It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s
The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions.
"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.
Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.
#14
David Wambold 1 year ago
LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.
Zoe DiAnni 1 year ago
Don’t forget those teeny tiny hands, sooo intimidating!
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KJ 1 year ago
I think it's the creature that lives on top of his head that intimidates people.
Mario Strada 1 year ago
Indeed. I too believed it was his petulant demeanor, his childish understanding of reality, his inability to tell the truth, even about inconsequential things, his grossly out of shape physique and his obsession with his comb-over and spray-on tan. Turns out I was just envious.
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Actual tough guys do not throw whiny toddler tantrums the moment life becomes even slightly difficult for them.
Jon Steensen 1 year ago
No the left hates him because his stupidity scares them. Giving someone with that little grasp of how the world works that much power, was bound to end in disarster, and that is what they forsaw. He is a bully, not a leader. Bullying your way to power, and using that to fulfill your own and your friend's needs, is not being a real man. He is a fat, orange conartist, that is what he is, not a real man.
Anna Stephenson 1 year ago
I can safely say I have at NO point EVER been intimidated by Trumps "Masculinity" it's more the horrible fake tan that makes him look like he smells weird (don't ask me why- it's just the impression I get) and the way he talks a bit like an Incel who happened to get money and resents that the only way he can get a woman is by being wealthy!?
Hard as pumpuli 1 year ago (edited)
Only terrifying thing about him is the lack of common sence and humanity. Edit. typo
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
I never realised a giant chicken nugget was thevpinnaclecof masculinity.
Death Metal Kitty 1 year ago
Masculinity? President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho epotimises masculinity, not a cheeto puff.
Steve Robert 1 year ago
He intimidated people because they're afraid he'll sit on them. ,400 pounds of shiit encased in an orange pumpkin.
Karen Krause 1 year ago
I'm sorry, even in the '80s I thought he looked a bit feminine. He never was a manly man. And pictures of his bedroom in Mar-A-largo? A frilly teen girl's dream! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ajc.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2Fphotos-donald-trump-palm-beach-home-mar-lago%2FoeF6jUOXzRLwaRKwhEE1XM%2F&psig=AOvVaw3M8RT3SyOX77AYqB-KR3Sd&ust=1684252496410000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CBAQjRxqFwoTCKDMsNPX9_4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ
Lena Flising 1 year ago
He's the epitome of man-child! He's loathsome and disgusting, and horrible.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 1 year ago
*laughing until I can't breathe anymore, then taking a deep breath to laugh again*
Goat express 1 year ago
What masculinity? Remember when he held up the Bible for no reason? And going to church is so feminine...
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
I don't see him as either masculine or feminine, but as a neglected yet spoiled child.
Hollerfloozy 1 year ago
What masculinity, it's so fragile its already shattered into oblivion.
The voice of reason 1 year ago
No......if the man would keep his mouth shut, he would still be president.
Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."
#15
Petra Schaap 1 year ago
demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.
#17
Zoe DiAnni 1 year ago
Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education
Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.
Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."
"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."
#28
Mario Strada 1 year ago
Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.
#33
Did I say that out loud? 1 year ago
This one is actually quite funny. I read this as, " I, a very masculine man,do not interact with women because I'm scared of my wife ."
#34
CanadianDimes 1 year ago (edited)
As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.
#37
cats_from_the_void 1 year ago
F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.
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What do you think ?
R Dennis 1 year ago
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
similarly 1 year ago
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
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Rayven 1 year ago
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Mark Fuller 1 year ago
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
Tim 1 year ago
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
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Lana Lana Banana 1 year ago
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
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Lana Lana Banana 1 year ago
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 1 year ago
i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Terran 1 year ago
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
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Ample Aardvark 1 year ago
I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
Isabelle Lamarque 1 year ago
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
kansasmagic 1 year ago
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
Tamara Negrey 1 year ago
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
R Dennis 1 year ago
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
similarly 1 year ago
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies... Rayven 1 year ago
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Mark Fuller 1 year ago
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
Tim 1 year ago
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies... Lana Lana Banana 1 year ago
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies... Lana Lana Banana 1 year ago
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 1 year ago
i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Terran 1 year ago
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies... Ample Aardvark 1 year ago
I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
Isabelle Lamarque 1 year ago
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
kansasmagic 1 year ago
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
Tamara Negrey 1 year ago
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
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