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The earliest evidence of tattoo art dates from 5000 BCE. In fact, Charles Darwin wrote that there was no country in the world that did not practice tattooing or some other form of permanent body decoration.
Across time and cultures, tattoos have many different forms and meanings. Today, getting your skin inked still remains one of the most popular ways to express your personality. But not all tattoos are made equal and badly executed, poorly designed, and simply questionable tattoos are more common than we think.
“Which type of tattoo makes you cringe the most?” someone wondered on Ask Reddit, and the responses started flowing in. Below we wrapped up the most interesting responses that serve basically as a guide of what tattoos you should think twice before getting permanently carved on your body.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I met a guy once who had a phrase in a foreign language on his arm. I asked him what it said and he replied «buy me a drink and I’ll tell you». So I bought him a drink and asked again. It turns out it actually said «buy me a drink and I’ll tell you». It apparently got him a lot of free drinks over the years.
#2
I had to have a polyp removed from my colon a few years back. When they removed it, they actually tattooed a marker inside my colon, so that spot would be easier to find and check in a colonoscopy. So while, not a tattoo artist, I do have a tattoo up my a**. That qualifies as f*****d up.
#3
I was at a concert years ago in Philly when this guy showed up with a tattoo of a woman that had some very poorly executed features (eg oddly crooked nose, teeth out of alignment, etc). My buddy says to me “if some tattoo guy screwed up a picture of my girlfriend that badly I’d kick his ass”. Well about ten minutes later this young lady shows up and damn if she didn’t look just like the tattoo.
According to the Welcome Collection, the earliest evidence of tattoo art comes in the form of clay figurines that had their faces painted or engraved to represent tattoo marks. The oldest figures of this kind have been recovered from tombs in Japan dating to 5000 BCE or older.
Meanwhile, in terms of actual tattoos, the oldest known human to have tattoos preserved upon their mummified skin is a Bronze-Age man from around 3300 BCE. The man, named ‘Otzi the Iceman’ was found in the Otztal Alps glacier and he had an impressive number–57 tattoos.
#4
The “Only God Can Judge Me” tattoo.
No, we can all judge you.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 1 year ago
"only God can jugde me" - a tattoo that I saw on another tattoo post
#5
Nothing says "I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer" like a Joker neck or face tattoo.
Mickysixxx 1 year ago (edited)
Wonder what his gang name is..........Giggles? "Yo, Giggles, come knock-knock this fool!"
#6
Those creepy faces of babies, which look like there's a little demon on your body
Scientists also traced back early proof of tattoos to the Middle Kingdom period of ancient Egypt. Meanwhile, in early Greek and Roman times (eighth to sixth century BCE), tattooing was associated with barbarians. They believe that the Greeks learned the art of tattooing from the Persians, and used it to mark slaves and criminals so they could be identified if they tried to escape. Later, the Romans continued this practice they learned from the Greeks.
Still today, tattoos remain these fascinating objects that bind cultures, societies, and people into a huge community of ink art lovers. But with the increasing amount of incredible tattoo artists and more people wiling to get their skin inked, bad tattoos are also getting more common.
#7
I knew a guy who lost some bet with another group of friends and he had to get a tattoo of Scrat from Ice Age on his inner thigh...reaching for his nuts.
#8
This young man wanted a tattoo on his back. It said something like, “Lisa please forgive me.” I told asked him if this was some last ditch effort to get this girl back. He said yes, and I told him this is a really bad idea you shouldn’t do this. He wanted the tattoo anyway, so he got it. If it worked out with him and the girl she will always remember this terrible thing he did that was so bad he had to go get a tattoo to try and prove how wrong he was. Or if it didn’t work out with them, whoever he dated afterwards would ask him what terrible thing he did that was so bad he had to go get a tattoo to try fix things with his ex. It seemed like a no win scenario with that tattoo. My advice is, if your tattoo artist is telling you that something isn’t a good idea to get, just take a moment and consider why.
#9
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him.
He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me"
I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug
While we can argue for hours on what is a bad and a good tattoo, and agree on the fact that every ink artwork is deeply personal and can indeed be incomprehensible to an outsider, it doesn’t change the fact that bad tattoos exist.
Dr. Kirby Farrell, a University of Massachusetts professor specializing in anthropology, psychology, and history, thinks there’s a bigger explanation for bad tattoos. For Farrell, bad tattoos are a representation a self-defense mechanism people have. They offer “physical and artistic representations of values you can identify with.”
#10
A cartel hitman got a pretty detailed back tattoo of a pretty unique murder scene, and when he was arrested and processed for something else entirely, the tattoo was so unique and obvious that it was a particular murder in question that he was arrested and convicted for the murder.
#11
"I refuse to sink" next to an anchor. That is literally what anchors are made for.
#12
Former tattoo artist here, and it has to be infinity symbols.
ESPECIALLY when they want them to be “uNiQuE”, so they have you spend three hours drawing up different ways of cramming little McKayzleigh and Brackxston’s names, birthdates, birth weights, blood types, and favorite ice cream flavors in there.
Fine, I’ll find a way. I can work for my money.
“Oh, and can it also have a thin blue line in there for my husband?”
Sure, lady.
“And maybe some birds breaking off of it, cause my meemaw loves birds!”
Sighhhh. Yeah, okay.
“And can you do it on the side of my finger in white ink?”
F**k you, get out.
EDIT: Bonus points on these if they walk in holding a monogrammed Yeti tumbler full of the alcohol they’re trying to smuggle in.
Susan Raskin 1 year ago
Hysterically funny and I'm sure a lot of conversations go just like that. Self-entitled assh$*#s
“People feel especially pressured to try to find their own magical reinforcement for things that the culture is not really helping you much with,” Farrell explained in an interview for Vice. He believes that bad tattoos give people exactly that, a reassurance that their existence is somehow different, heroic, and special, and the tattoos are meant to capture that.
Farrell argues further: “Like if you want to tattoo yourself with a line from your favorite song, almost certainly you're feeling a kind of emotional excitement and admiration for that song. A kind of warm, romantic ecstasy. You hear people say, ‘It has special meaning for me.’ It's a kind of emotional halo that's around this object.”
#13
*me reading these replies to see if any of my tattoos are on here*
#14
I actually plan on getting a biohazard symbol as a tattoo. Some people have said, "Eew, what, are you trying to be punk or edgy or something?" or something along those lines when I tell them, but then I explain it's because of my career. I'm a medical lab tech, and I deal with biohazardous substances all day, so it's a nod to the fact that the human body (and everything it produces) is considered biohazardous material. I'm just being a good little lab tech and labeling myself appropriately.
EDIT: It has been brought to my attention by several people that the biohazard symbol is used in the gay community to denote HIV+ status. I appreciate the information, but being the fact that I am a happily married bi woman, I don't think it will affect me in the same manner.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 1 year ago
didn't know about the biohazard thing in the community. Ya learn something new everyday ig
#15
A guy I worked with had a failed pregnancy. Stillborn. So he was mourning. I have very high quality work on my arms that is very visible. So he asks me who and how much. I tried explaining that with portrait work, you get what you pay for. He calls gets a price and then confronts me on the number like we were in cahoots. I reminded him that you don't cheap on portrait work. And he told me he knows a guy who knows a guy. One last time I said don't, but he fully believed I was in on scamming him.
He goes to guy of the guy and when he returns I ask if I can see how it turned out. He pulls up his shirt and starts to cry. He has what anyone can see is the worst tattoo of his dead baby on his chest. Just crying he said "I just wanted to remember him"
Just tragic
Tl;Dr
Don't cheap out on dead baby portraits
#16
I had a gentleman come in when I’d only been tattooing for about three years. I was in the middle of a tattoo and somewhat (understandably) distracted. The fella pulls out his knob and shows me a poorly done star on the head. He wants it fixed… and wants me to add another star and a crescent moon added. If you’re asking yourself “why?”… you’re not alone. He told his wife he’d giver the moon and stars.
He made an appointment for the following day… a few hours after we’d opened. I remember feeling like I was waiting for my execution. Then I came to the realization that it was his dick about to get stabbed… not mine… and I got over it. When he showed up, I gave em a set of gloves and told em he was gonna be helpin stretch the skin. He was a good sport about it and all went well and fine… till he told me they were swingers and invited me over to their home to drink crown and bang his wife. I politely declined… which is probably why she got the only “tip” outta the deal. Almost two decades ago and I still remember it vividly.
#17
Any tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol
#18
Armpit coochees. It’s when someone gets two woman’s legs tattooed around their armpit hair. Yes.
Reba Jane 1 year ago
Damnit I googled it cos I wasn't really sure what it would look like but nothing came up but now I'm probably gonna get inundated with vagina-related ads on my phone
Shankshaw Redeemer 1 year ago
Google armpit cooch tattoo. Scroll a little and there's a link to one posted on Reddit. I couldn't get the image to open that another person posted. But I will warn you: you can't unsee it so know you've been cautioned. D**n my curiosity!
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Dynein 1 year ago
Other guys like them who can't spend 5mins without thinking about sex.. women, probably not so much (I can't be the only woman who's thinking "you can have EITHER an armpit crotch tattoo OR access to a real female crotch - but not both. Chose wisely")
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Shankshaw Redeemer 1 year ago
If someone had this tattoo, it would probably be the last cooch s/he ever sees.
Ivy la Sangrienta 1 year ago
I bet those individuals also say that an unshaven woman is gross 🙄
Lily from England 1 year ago
Wtaf. I need to forget this. Brain, please don’t do the usual and only remember horrible things. I beg. 🙌🏻
#19
I just started tattooing, so I was taking any kind of walk in I could get. This guy would come in every few weeks and get his girlfriend’s name tattooed on him. The same name, all different ways; in a diamond, attached to an infinity symbol, with a lady bug. One day he came in WITH her and I was surprised because i never seen her and always wanted to know who this muse of shitty name tattoos was! She seemed pissed off and unapproachable, the guy was in high spirits though. I skipped the small talk with her, did the tattoo, let them leave. He came in a few weeks later, alone. I finally asked him “why all the name tattoos?” He told me he would tattoo her name on himself every time he cheated on her and she found out. He then asked me if I would like to go to dinner after his tattoo. That was our last interaction.
#20
A defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had “homicide” tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow. Not a great look.
#21
Barbed wire around the arm that doesn't even go all the way because it hurt too bad.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 1 year ago
that's just... funny. There's probably a meaning behind it but the fact that this person specifically said ones that don't even go all the way around lmao
#22
Nothing super weird and usually things I didn’t feel comfortable putting on people, I would turn away. But I had a coworker who would scoop them up and do the tattoo for them. One was a girl who had just turned 18. She wanted a chain around her waist with a lock hanging on it just above her vagina and the words “property of Dave” or whatever the f**k her boyfriends name was. First off, she was 18 so I figured the relationship probably wasn’t going to last so I wouldn’t do it for that reason. Then come to find out, her boyfriend had just been sentenced to life in prison for murder. The girl was making a terrible emotional mistake. I refused but my coworker did do the tattoo.
#23
Had an older lady come in wanting a butterfly tattoo… on her labia. Actually turned out really pretty, she loved it and was a pleasure to work with! Every time I do a butterfly tatt now I think of her flaps.
Stardust she/her 1 year ago
Why on the labia of all the places? Wouldn’t it also be really uncomfortable/painful when the tattoo is being done?
#24
I’m not an artist, but several years ago I was waiting in a shop in my hometown to do a consultation for a tribute to my late step-dad, and there was a woman doing a consultation with my artist right before me.. this lady wanted to have “Jeff’s Slut” tattooed on her lower back.. apparently she’d been dating “Jeff” for like three months.. the artist declined to create her masterpiece (she was visibly upset about it) which let me know that I was in good hands..
#25
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it’s because they’ve been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
#26
Lips on the neck.
I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight.
#27
Swastika.
Stardust she/her 1 year ago
If it’s a Hindu person then they’re most likely doing it because they’re religious but if it’s not for religion, f**k those people
#28
I have a tramp stamp that says “no regrets” in very fancy cursive. It’s the only tattoo my dad laughed at rather than cringed. I can judge no one.
#29
Famous people. I get that you really are a fan of said famous person, but to permanently ink their face onto yourself is just wild IMHO.
Louisa Johnson 1 year ago
I agree to some extent, however if it was actually a character from a film they were portraying, I don't mind so much, please note the joker and Harley Quinn tattoos are over kill at this point, but I have toyed with the idea of a leg sleeve from the film labyrinth.
#30
Know a girl who tattooed her firstborn’s name... as a tramp stamp. Not what I would want someone to be looking at while tagging from behind.
#31
I knew a guy that got rabbit prints on his a** cheek leading to his butt hole.
“Want to see my new rabbit tattoo? Aw man it must’ve jump in his hole”
#32
Chinese writing when they have no cultural connection to it and got it just because it “looks cool” specially western names “translated” into Chinese.
Jilltdcatlady 1 year ago
I love the ones that turn out to be menu items. "Sexy Girl" is really "Spicy chicken". Loses something in translation.
#33
Once i saw a dude in a gym who had an elephant tattooed in his crotch. Guess what was the trunk?
#34
Tattoos of brand logos. It's basically free advertising. At least email them and ask what they would pay you if you advertised for them until you die.
Lonely Tentacle 1 year ago
Yes!!! I've been saying that for years! And in the end, come on, be your own person, there's no reason to look like you're owned by a company or like you're a billboard! You're not a damn object.
#35
The tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg .....
Edit: Thanks for all the love and awards guys! Never thought my horrible tattoo from 9 years ago would blow up like this.
Louisa Johnson 1 year ago
9 years ago, I thought this was the tattoo of a very well preserved Homosapien from a museum exhibit, it looks hundreds of thousands of years old.
#36
memes
the thought that a lot of people have dead memes from 2017 in their arms or legs is kinda funny
BeepBeepBoopBoop 1 year ago
okay but that frog tattoo is adorable and I love it. Some meme tattoos are great and still adorable even tho I didn't know that frog meme existed.
#37
Not a tattoo artist myself but trained a bit. Asked a master what the weirdest thing he tattooed was and he said, without hesitation “a pair of eyes on me mate’s balls”
#38
That stupid cliche thing that says "life" one way and "death" the other.
#39
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
Fearhunter 1 year ago
She would win the bad tattoo bingo if there is a name of an ex, baby's face and another ordinary phrase.
#40
Any image that incorporates bodily hair.
Jilltdcatlady 1 year ago
Okay, I agree, but the first time I saw a belly button as cat's butt I laughed. I wouldn't want to look at it forever, but my own cat's like to show their's off all the time.
#41
NSFW tattoos. Like its cool that you really love your girlfriends vagina, or that you want to showcase the ginormous imaginary d**k you have. But the rest of us don’t really want to see that.
To be fair though, I haven’t really seen these much in person. Mostly online.
#42
One time I saw a lower back tattoo that was a bullseye and it really solidified for me why those are called tramp stamps.
Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
If it wasn on her lower back, her bf might be very confused about where to aim.
#43
Had a lady come into the store I was working in with a big neck tattoo that said Daddy’s girl....may have been the most shocking one i’ve ever seen
#44
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example “For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!”
#46
Guy wanted the thumbs up emoji on his taint. Apparently he wanted everyone down there to "know he appreciates a job well done".
I passed him off to a male colleague, who did not stop giggling the entire half an hour session.
But as most artists on here have said, we get ridiculous requests all the time, but they either don't show up, or we have to ask them to leave.
#47
My friend's dad had a tattoo that covered his entire forearm of two pigs going at it doggy style (piggy style?) and it said "making bacon" above it. He was made to cover it up every time we visited but I saw it once and it's quite graphic.
#48
F*****g wings. Where you think you’re flying to??
#49
Some vague inspirational quote that in all likelihood the tattoo-ee didn't even choose before they went to the tatto parlor, but rather selected from a pre-chosen list written up by the parlor.
#50
Knew of a guy once who had “DUBSTEP” tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
What do you think ?
sofacushionfort 1 year ago
The absolute worst tattoo I’ve seen online was a woman with a crying anime schoolgirl on her belly and inner thighs, so that whoever was having intercourse with her would see himself committing an unspeakably vile act.
Persephone hates Pomegranate 1 year ago
That's just rancid. That person is disgusting.
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Mickysixxx 1 year ago (edited)
I wonder where my sexy Jesus tramp stamp would rank on this once I get it. I want him laying across with his loin cloth just so, ripped muscles and him pointing and winking all sexy like lol. I'm already covered in dodgy tatts so what's one more
Alecto76 1 year ago
My favorite tattoo was my dad's. When he was 16, he and his friends drove down to Chicago and decided to get tattoos. For $1. My dad's was on his forearm. He claimed it said "Jim" (his name) but by the time I existed it was a blue blurry mass. As an adult, I liked to call him bllurrbbbooo at times. Well that is what his tattoo said his name was.
DC 1 year ago
I always love remembering that dude who wanted "Asian Girl Lover" tattooed on him in chinese or japanese or whatever ... and got "Foreign Pervert" instead. Hahahaha, serves him right ... at the time at least. Forever, I'm not sure, but there's removing procedures, so ... he'll either never know, or spend another few times what the actual tattoo has cost.
Lord of the laserprinter. 1 year ago
Best one I ever saw was one dude trying to look tough. You know the type, Engulund T-shirt, neck tattoo yadda, yadda. And across his chest the words: "Blute und Ähre" I asked him why he has "Bleed and Ear," as in ear of wheat and that in English fracture type. He got angry and told me it meant "Blood and Honor" in German. So I continued in German and asked if he had kept the receipt.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Facial tattoos. First the disclaimer: it's your body and you can use it to express yourself however you want to. But don't come whining to me later because no one will hire you for a job.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
yep. I'm the least conservative person I know in a country with an actual commie party,... and even I think a face tat is a bad idea. It's just ... too much commitment.
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Lakota Wolf 1 year ago
I feel like a disgusting human being for even WANTING a tattoo now XD I'd just get pawprints or a clean lineart of a kitty or a doggo (yes, I'm one of those "pet memorial tattoo" people XD ) but just reading this list makes me feel shady about getting a tattoo at all... xD
DC 1 year ago
... still have four cats to be piched into me who aren't catting anymore ...
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AJJ 1 year ago
My husband has his own initials in letters he drew when he was 18. I lovingly refer to it as his prison tattoo.
Mickysixxx 1 year ago
I have some dodgy tatts from when I was a kid too hahaha they make me laugh now, so much for regrets lol
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Joyce Blodgett 1 year ago
When my son was learning to be a tattoo artist, he apprenticed with a very good one (I dislike tats, but am going by what he said). One customer came in week after week to get the ongoing work done a full-body tat---head to toe, including his penis, he was tattooed to look like a hooded cobra, with the back of his shaved head being the snake's face with the hood in full flare. Son said it made him sick to see it, so he made a rule for himself to never tattoo what a bikini could cover on a woman, or what a Speedo would cover on a man. He died at 31 y.o. without having to compromise his personal rule.
VonBlade 1 year ago
The worst one ever is Mr Cool Ice. And if you have never googled Mr Cool Ice, do so immediately. Totally SFW, just not safe without eye bleach.
Rabbit Lord 1 year ago (edited)
I like the idea one of the "Blade" movies had about tattoos: if someone is property of some vampire (which can be seen as a metapher) they got this vampire's sign/logo tattooed somewhere so other vampires keep off that person.I know and then have the feeling that this store is more true than it sounds at first.
sofacushionfort 1 year ago
The absolute worst tattoo I’ve seen online was a woman with a crying anime schoolgirl on her belly and inner thighs, so that whoever was having intercourse with her would see himself committing an unspeakably vile act.
Persephone hates Pomegranate 1 year ago
That's just rancid. That person is disgusting.
Load More Replies... Mickysixxx 1 year ago (edited)
I wonder where my sexy Jesus tramp stamp would rank on this once I get it. I want him laying across with his loin cloth just so, ripped muscles and him pointing and winking all sexy like lol. I'm already covered in dodgy tatts so what's one more
Alecto76 1 year ago
My favorite tattoo was my dad's. When he was 16, he and his friends drove down to Chicago and decided to get tattoos. For $1. My dad's was on his forearm. He claimed it said "Jim" (his name) but by the time I existed it was a blue blurry mass. As an adult, I liked to call him bllurrbbbooo at times. Well that is what his tattoo said his name was.
DC 1 year ago
I always love remembering that dude who wanted "Asian Girl Lover" tattooed on him in chinese or japanese or whatever ... and got "Foreign Pervert" instead. Hahahaha, serves him right ... at the time at least. Forever, I'm not sure, but there's removing procedures, so ... he'll either never know, or spend another few times what the actual tattoo has cost.
Lord of the laserprinter. 1 year ago
Best one I ever saw was one dude trying to look tough. You know the type, Engulund T-shirt, neck tattoo yadda, yadda. And across his chest the words: "Blute und Ähre" I asked him why he has "Bleed and Ear," as in ear of wheat and that in English fracture type. He got angry and told me it meant "Blood and Honor" in German. So I continued in German and asked if he had kept the receipt.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Facial tattoos. First the disclaimer: it's your body and you can use it to express yourself however you want to. But don't come whining to me later because no one will hire you for a job.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
yep. I'm the least conservative person I know in a country with an actual commie party,... and even I think a face tat is a bad idea. It's just ... too much commitment.
Load More Replies... Lakota Wolf 1 year ago
I feel like a disgusting human being for even WANTING a tattoo now XD I'd just get pawprints or a clean lineart of a kitty or a doggo (yes, I'm one of those "pet memorial tattoo" people XD ) but just reading this list makes me feel shady about getting a tattoo at all... xD
DC 1 year ago
... still have four cats to be piched into me who aren't catting anymore ...
Load More Replies... AJJ 1 year ago
My husband has his own initials in letters he drew when he was 18. I lovingly refer to it as his prison tattoo.
Mickysixxx 1 year ago
I have some dodgy tatts from when I was a kid too hahaha they make me laugh now, so much for regrets lol
Load More Replies... Joyce Blodgett 1 year ago
When my son was learning to be a tattoo artist, he apprenticed with a very good one (I dislike tats, but am going by what he said). One customer came in week after week to get the ongoing work done a full-body tat---head to toe, including his penis, he was tattooed to look like a hooded cobra, with the back of his shaved head being the snake's face with the hood in full flare. Son said it made him sick to see it, so he made a rule for himself to never tattoo what a bikini could cover on a woman, or what a Speedo would cover on a man. He died at 31 y.o. without having to compromise his personal rule.
VonBlade 1 year ago
The worst one ever is Mr Cool Ice. And if you have never googled Mr Cool Ice, do so immediately. Totally SFW, just not safe without eye bleach.
Rabbit Lord 1 year ago (edited)
I like the idea one of the "Blade" movies had about tattoos: if someone is property of some vampire (which can be seen as a metapher) they got this vampire's sign/logo tattooed somewhere so other vampires keep off that person.I know and then have the feeling that this store is more true than it sounds at first.
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