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Woman Finds Out Her Family Vacation Has Been Hijacked By Hubby’s Friends, Is Livid Nobody Told Her
Imagine that you are about to go on a long-awaited vacation, only with your closest people. Just calm, relaxation, and nothing but a good mood. It’s a vacation that you and your spouse have been planning for a long time—and now you are anticipating the pleasure that lies ahead.
But then, completely unexpectedly, things go differently. Instead of a quiet and peaceful trip, it turns out that it will be a noisy party with half-strangers, who, in particular, brought a little kid with them. This is exactly what happened to user AbbeyDown recently, the author of today’s tale.
More info: Mumsnet
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The author of the post and her husband recently went on a 10-day vacation abroad, together with their 16-year-old daughter
Image credits: Manuel Barros / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The main idea was to celebrate the daughter passing her school exams and to unwind a bit as well
Image credits: AbbeyDown
Image credits: dragonimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Before the very trip the author found out that her husband’s old friend and his fam will come as well
Image credits: AbbeyDown
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It turned out that the husband let it slip to the friend—and they decided to surprise her
Image credits: AbbeyDown
Now, the author feels upset as she wanted to have a calm rest, not a friendly party with folks who were unfamiliar to her
The Original poster (OP) says that recently she, her husband, and their 16-year-old daughter decided to go on a ten-day vacation abroad. Just the three of them—to celebrate the daughter finishing her GCSEs (General Certificate of Secondary Education) at school, and, of course, to take a break from all the city bustle, unwind a little, and ‘reboot.’
Our heroine was anticipating a great, relaxing vacation—and how surprised and upset she was when she found out that her husband’s old friend, his girlfriend, and their two children—a teenager and a 5-year-old will come too! As it turned out, the husband had let it slip to his friend about the upcoming trip, and they decided to surprise the OP in this way.
Moreover, the friend and his family booked the same hotel, so the author found herself in the dubious prospect of spending the whole vacation with people she didn’t know that well (this guy and his girlfriend are more her husband’s pals, not hers). Realizing that the kids—especially the youngest—will make this vacay completely different. Certainly not what she expected.
What also worries our heroine is that she struggles with confidence, especially around her body and skin, and having someone around who she barely knows and is 12 years younger than her doesn’t actually add anything to her confidence. The husband brushed the OP off, claiming that it was not that important, but she was genuinely upset and considered her vacation totally ruined.
Image credits: Tahir osman / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“On the one hand, this woman’s husband most likely really didn’t want or plan anything bad for her, but simply wanted to brag to his friend about the upcoming trip,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case. “On the other hand, his reaction to her mood seems really inappropriate.
“In any case, long-time friends are good and important, but your spouse is still a more significant person for you. So, you need to take their opinion and wishes into account first and foremost. Therefore, a reaction in the style of ‘shrug and wave it off’ is definitely not what is needed in the situation similar to described.
“Moreover, if it even turns out that the husband secretly planned this trip with his friend beforehand, this may be a reason for further and serious family spat. Be that as it may, each person has every reason to be dissatisfied when a long-awaited family vacation goes completely differently than originally planned,” Irina sums up.
The vast majority of people in the comments also expressed solidarity with the author, noting, on the one hand, that she is absolutely not obliged to spend time with people she doesn’t know well. “Being anonymous is one of the bonuses of going on holiday,” someone aptly added.
But, on the other hand, some people reasonably note that the husband will want to hang out with the friend and his wife at least a few times, and the OP will definitely be asked to babysit the 5YO. By the way, do you, our dear readers, agree with the reaction of our heroine?
Most commenters supported our heroine, claiming that the friends would definitely ask her to babysit their youngest kid as well
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What do you think ?
*raspberry sound 8 months ago (edited)
This is b******t, I'd be furious. As a woman, I always get lumped in with my friends' girlfriends or boyfriends' friends' girlfriends and it's like, I'm not a toddler, you can't just shove women into a room and expect them to enjoy themselves and play nicely, so now she has to make small talk and entertain some random woman so her husband can enjoy his bro time during what was supposed to be a highly anticipated break and quality family time. I'm annoyed for her.
barbara Nivens 8 months ago
He can go. Without me. I'll take a trip somewhere else later on.
Load More Replies...
Lila Allen 8 months ago
I would have told my husband straight off that this was not happening. That if he wanted a trip with them he could have it another time and either they change their reservation or you are changing yours to another place. Period. It's a family trip not an open trip to bring anyone you want.
Bookworm 8 months ago
I'd be changing the vacation. Different hotel, different flights etc. Don't tell DH (dumb husband) until the day of. He can hang out with his buddy, but I'm not spending my vacation avoiding people I don't know. And when gf gave her fake 'sorry for hijacking ' bs I would have told her "you should be. That's not ok and I'm not spending any time with you. You need to ask if you can come, not impose yourself and expect everyone to accommodate your entitled self.". Yes I'm very protective of my vacations. I'm typically chill but once you hit a boundary I push back hard.
zububonsai 8 months ago (edited)
You put my feelings in half the words I would have needed. I'd be so furious with the cheek of that woman, and my spineless hubby... But I would probably book another hotel for me AND MY DAUGHTER. He can babysit all he wants, it wouldn't be me. If hubby suddenly finds out daughter and me are more important than his buddie's clan he can pay his own move to the new hotel himself. //Thank you again. and you're 100% right.
Load More Replies...
kayteeisdabomb 8 months ago
I think its really rude of them to "surprise" you like this. Vacation is supposed to be family time and relaxing. I would change the vacation if it was me.
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 8 months ago
Yeah no there's no way I'd put up with that. I met up w/ a friend once for a girls weekend a couple years in a row and honestly I was miserable. I don't like having to be 'on' all the time. Also I have been told I'm blunt and had the woman said 'sorry we're hijacking your holiday' to me I would snarked, 'Yeah...well....wasn't my choice but what can you do' with an annoyed look and a glare at the husband! Last year one of my hubby's friends pitched a big group golf trip for this spring and thank god it never happened. I couldn't imagine anything worse. I don't golf, zero interest. Esp w/ a bunch of people who like to drink heavily and who I don;t barely know. I would've gone for his sake but I was going to just go off on my own. Rent a car or something.
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
If OP can't rebook the holiday, I hope she finds lots of stuff relaxing to do "elsewhere" + ignore everyone but her daughter. If hubs gets mad - it's his own damned fault she's ignoring him. You don't invite unrelated people on your family holiday.
Tabitha 8 months ago (edited)
I agree this would not make for a relaxing family vacation. Hubby f****d up BIG time. Some men just never seem to get it. They don’t use their critical thinking skills to realize just what kind of burden it is to arbitrarily add s**t like this to plans that are already in place—- especially when they don’t say a word about it until the last f*****g minute. That’s NOT what you do when you’re in a relationship, ffs. TBH, I would be changing the location of the vacation and not telling my husband—-a little tit for tat you might say. He thinks we’re going to Yosemite? Nah. We’re going to Yellowstone. He won’t find out until we get to the airport, and even then he might not even realize our flight to Montana isn’t just a layover to catch a flight to California. I would also make sure his cellphone gets packed in his checked bag, so he can’t give his buddy and his clan a heads up to change their plans. Hubby needs to learn to keep his big mouth TF shut when it comes to vacations and other personal family plans, to keep from being imposed on like this. Another idea would be to let hubby’s vacation plans stay in place, but change hers and her daughter’s plans completely. Let hubby babysit the five year old by himself so his “friends” can have a date night. Maybe then he’ll get it.
katiekat0214 8 months ago
First husband did this, invited this couple along that he knew, and they stayed in the same hotel. Like the OP, I was gobsmacked. And honestly, I should have asked for an annulment for SO many reasons, that being just one of them. Still salty about it, and won't ever get over being salty about it, to be honest. If I were here, I'd re-evaluate the man and the whole relationship, if he's that tone-deaf, unempathetic, callous, and insensitive. Just so much ick on so many levels.
Ruth Watry 8 months ago
Get a different hotel, and let husband know that he can visit them at their hotel but they cannot know where you are staying.
*raspberry sound 8 months ago (edited)
This is b******t, I'd be furious. As a woman, I always get lumped in with my friends' girlfriends or boyfriends' friends' girlfriends and it's like, I'm not a toddler, you can't just shove women into a room and expect them to enjoy themselves and play nicely, so now she has to make small talk and entertain some random woman so her husband can enjoy his bro time during what was supposed to be a highly anticipated break and quality family time. I'm annoyed for her.
barbara Nivens 8 months ago
He can go. Without me. I'll take a trip somewhere else later on.
Load More Replies... Lila Allen 8 months ago
I would have told my husband straight off that this was not happening. That if he wanted a trip with them he could have it another time and either they change their reservation or you are changing yours to another place. Period. It's a family trip not an open trip to bring anyone you want.
Bookworm 8 months ago
I'd be changing the vacation. Different hotel, different flights etc. Don't tell DH (dumb husband) until the day of. He can hang out with his buddy, but I'm not spending my vacation avoiding people I don't know. And when gf gave her fake 'sorry for hijacking ' bs I would have told her "you should be. That's not ok and I'm not spending any time with you. You need to ask if you can come, not impose yourself and expect everyone to accommodate your entitled self.". Yes I'm very protective of my vacations. I'm typically chill but once you hit a boundary I push back hard.
zububonsai 8 months ago (edited)
You put my feelings in half the words I would have needed. I'd be so furious with the cheek of that woman, and my spineless hubby... But I would probably book another hotel for me AND MY DAUGHTER. He can babysit all he wants, it wouldn't be me. If hubby suddenly finds out daughter and me are more important than his buddie's clan he can pay his own move to the new hotel himself. //Thank you again. and you're 100% right.
Load More Replies... kayteeisdabomb 8 months ago
I think its really rude of them to "surprise" you like this. Vacation is supposed to be family time and relaxing. I would change the vacation if it was me.
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 8 months ago
Yeah no there's no way I'd put up with that. I met up w/ a friend once for a girls weekend a couple years in a row and honestly I was miserable. I don't like having to be 'on' all the time. Also I have been told I'm blunt and had the woman said 'sorry we're hijacking your holiday' to me I would snarked, 'Yeah...well....wasn't my choice but what can you do' with an annoyed look and a glare at the husband! Last year one of my hubby's friends pitched a big group golf trip for this spring and thank god it never happened. I couldn't imagine anything worse. I don't golf, zero interest. Esp w/ a bunch of people who like to drink heavily and who I don;t barely know. I would've gone for his sake but I was going to just go off on my own. Rent a car or something.
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
If OP can't rebook the holiday, I hope she finds lots of stuff relaxing to do "elsewhere" + ignore everyone but her daughter. If hubs gets mad - it's his own damned fault she's ignoring him. You don't invite unrelated people on your family holiday.
Tabitha 8 months ago (edited)
I agree this would not make for a relaxing family vacation. Hubby f****d up BIG time. Some men just never seem to get it. They don’t use their critical thinking skills to realize just what kind of burden it is to arbitrarily add s**t like this to plans that are already in place—- especially when they don’t say a word about it until the last f*****g minute. That’s NOT what you do when you’re in a relationship, ffs. TBH, I would be changing the location of the vacation and not telling my husband—-a little tit for tat you might say. He thinks we’re going to Yosemite? Nah. We’re going to Yellowstone. He won’t find out until we get to the airport, and even then he might not even realize our flight to Montana isn’t just a layover to catch a flight to California. I would also make sure his cellphone gets packed in his checked bag, so he can’t give his buddy and his clan a heads up to change their plans. Hubby needs to learn to keep his big mouth TF shut when it comes to vacations and other personal family plans, to keep from being imposed on like this. Another idea would be to let hubby’s vacation plans stay in place, but change hers and her daughter’s plans completely. Let hubby babysit the five year old by himself so his “friends” can have a date night. Maybe then he’ll get it.
katiekat0214 8 months ago
First husband did this, invited this couple along that he knew, and they stayed in the same hotel. Like the OP, I was gobsmacked. And honestly, I should have asked for an annulment for SO many reasons, that being just one of them. Still salty about it, and won't ever get over being salty about it, to be honest. If I were here, I'd re-evaluate the man and the whole relationship, if he's that tone-deaf, unempathetic, callous, and insensitive. Just so much ick on so many levels.
Ruth Watry 8 months ago
Get a different hotel, and let husband know that he can visit them at their hotel but they cannot know where you are staying.
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