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Son Faces Dad’s “Ultimatum” After Refusing To Attend College And Wanting To Use His $400K Tuition Money For Starting A Business
![“[Am I The Jerk] For Holding My Son’s College Fund Hostage?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/holding-college-fund-hostage-reddit-fb83-png__700.jpg)
What most often becomes the subject of conflicts within the family? To whomever knows the top five most frequent reasons for family quarrels, we are almost sure that conflicts over money, as well as disputes between parents and children, will be in this top five. And very often a combination happens – disputes between parents and children over money, and this is precisely what most often leads to a serious deterioration in family relations.
On the one hand, the older generation, of course, has life and financial experience that allowed them to at least raise these children. On the other hand, it often happens that the everyday experience that parents developed many years ago is rather inapplicable to the present in which their children live. It turns out that both sides are both right and wrong at the same time.
A classic example is this very story by user u/Night_Owl63, posted to the AITA Reddit community a few months ago, which has since gained around 22.1K upvotes and nearly 2K different comments. An excellent opportunity to study this story in detail.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post has a son who refused to go to college after graduating high school
Image credits: 401(K) 2012 (not the actual photo)
So, the author of the original post will soon be fifty, and he and his wife have a son who recently graduated from high school. The Original Poster admits that he and his spouse make good money, so they took the liberty of raising a fairly decent amount for a college fund for their son.
Image credits: Night_Owl63
The couple managed to gather nearly $400K for their son’s college fund as they started saving since the woman got pregnant
Starting to save money when the woman was pregnant, the couple managed to gather almost $400K. The money is in their own bank account, but the son knew about its existence. As the OP himself admits, he and his wife never gave their child strict instructions on how to live and what to do. No, of course, they tried to guide him, as probably all parents do, but nothing more.
Image credits: Night_Owl63
The parents never demanded academic excellence from their son or forced him into sports or some artistic activities. One might think that the child grew up spoiled, the OP notes, but he himself began to work before the age of majority, worked a lot, and didn’t even get his GED and go to college until he had his kid. “So I spoiled my kid like I wish I was spoiled,” the man himself admits.
Image credits: Night_Owl63
The young guy claimed he wanted to start his own business with that $400K as the start-up capital
So, when the son had finished his graduation party, the father asked what college he was going to go to. What came to the parents’ surprise was when the young guy simply stated that he was not going to continue his studies, did not want to work with his dad and mom in the family business, but wanted to set up his own. Moreover, according to the newly minted businessman, he also had start-up capital – that very $400K from his college fund.
Image credits: Night_Owl63
Parents refused to spend this money on the son’s business – at least till he comes up with a well-founded business plan
However, the novice businessman faced a serious problem with this. His parents flatly refused to give him any money unless he at least presented a well-founded business plan. Moreover, the father was ready to separately cover business management, accounting and law classes for his son – and only then allow him to use this money.
Image credits: Night_Owl63
The son just argued that his parents are holding his college fund hostage to make him do what they want
The mother agreed with her husband one hundred percent, but the son was indignant and claimed that he was under mental pressure for holding his college fund hostage to make him do what his parents want. In turn, the OP thinks, he and his wife are just doing their best to make sure their son’s business succeeds.
Image credits: David McElwee (not the actual photo)
People in the comments sided with the author of the post and his wife, saying that management classes are definitely a good idea
Most of the people in the comments agreed with the Original Poster – after all, it was the parents who saved this money, and it is quite logical that they determine what exactly the funds will be eventually spent on. As for the idea of taking management and accounting classes, the commenters liked it, and they suppose that classes would be more than helpful for the young guy.
According to some of the commenters, the first business lesson for a novice merchant should be: “If you refuse a good offer because ‘you don’t want to’ do something, you don’t have a business building mindset”. By the way, people in the comments just recommend that the parents let their son get a job and learn some responsibility before giving him $400K.
As you can see, even in seemingly happy and prosperous families, there are difficult everyday situations like this one. If you are interested in the topic, we can offer you this exciting selection of skeletons in family closets, and in addition, please feel free to leave your comments on this tale below.
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What do you think ?
JoJoB 2 years ago
I think if he got the money in hand with no strings, you'd come home to find an exotic car in the driveway (which he'd drive for a week until it was totaled it he lost his license).
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
Very possible scenario for a fella his age. The young man doesn't have the experience to handle that amount of money. If he had a serious idea to begin with, he would have presented it immediately upon being denied his request and their suggestions to take the classes and submit a business plan. The poor guy doesn't really have a jumping off point that we know of. I would have had a potential plan in place before I suggested to my parents that I started my own business, to let them know that I was serious about the topic and had done some research on the subject. The parents are being very generous and helpful towards him.
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Carol Emory 2 years ago
There was a guy a while back that became a lawyer. His father told him that if he passed the Bar, he'd give him 10 million dollars to start his own practice. The man took the 10 million and bought a building in New York. He then turned it into a halfway house for homeless men to get them off the street. The rules were, no drugs, no alcohol. If you did not know how to read and write, you would be taught. If you did not graduate high school, you would be given the opportunity to get a GED. When Haagen-Dazs met him at a charity function, they wanted to donate to his charity. He convinced them to open a store nearby where the men could work and earn a paycheck and work experience. They did so. Having a solid foundation of education can take you a long way, even if other peoples expectations of where you are headed in your life don't match up. I think the father in this post is very smart to make those conditions.
Larry Whalen 2 years ago
Great story, although he did not start his own firm, he did something Noble and established a facility to help others get their lives back on track, at least those who wanted to make something of their lives.
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JoJoB 2 years ago
I think if he got the money in hand with no strings, you'd come home to find an exotic car in the driveway (which he'd drive for a week until it was totaled it he lost his license).
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
Very possible scenario for a fella his age. The young man doesn't have the experience to handle that amount of money. If he had a serious idea to begin with, he would have presented it immediately upon being denied his request and their suggestions to take the classes and submit a business plan. The poor guy doesn't really have a jumping off point that we know of. I would have had a potential plan in place before I suggested to my parents that I started my own business, to let them know that I was serious about the topic and had done some research on the subject. The parents are being very generous and helpful towards him.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 2 years ago
There was a guy a while back that became a lawyer. His father told him that if he passed the Bar, he'd give him 10 million dollars to start his own practice. The man took the 10 million and bought a building in New York. He then turned it into a halfway house for homeless men to get them off the street. The rules were, no drugs, no alcohol. If you did not know how to read and write, you would be taught. If you did not graduate high school, you would be given the opportunity to get a GED. When Haagen-Dazs met him at a charity function, they wanted to donate to his charity. He convinced them to open a store nearby where the men could work and earn a paycheck and work experience. They did so. Having a solid foundation of education can take you a long way, even if other peoples expectations of where you are headed in your life don't match up. I think the father in this post is very smart to make those conditions.
Larry Whalen 2 years ago
Great story, although he did not start his own firm, he did something Noble and established a facility to help others get their lives back on track, at least those who wanted to make something of their lives.
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