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Old newspapers were not all doom, gloom, and serious business. Between the big stories, they also made room for witty observations and the kind of lines that probably had readers chuckling over their morning coffee.

We found an interesting collection of old newspaper clippings that offers a hilarious little look at the past, with plenty of quotes that still feel surprisingly relevant today. Scroll down for a trip back in time that might put a smile on your face and remind you that good humor never really gets old.

#1

The Age-Herald, Birmingham, Alabama, September 12, 1913

Old newspaper text titled The Law about stealing ten dollars versus a million

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Michael Largey
Community Member
2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, we don't punish someone who steals a million these days. He's made a CFO instead or elected to Congress.

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    #2

    Lincoln Journal Star, Nebraska, June 28, 1934

    Old newspaper cartoon of a cat wearing glasses owned by an occultist

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    Multa Nocte (she/her 8647)
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe there was mention of a cat on BP recently that was in an optician’s office who would allow his owner to put glasses on him to model for shy children.

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    #3

    Chicago Tribune, Illinois, September 20, 1925

    Vintage cartoon instructing not to call waitresses dearie or honey

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    Multa Nocte (she/her 8647)
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could have used this in the 70s and 80s when I was a waitress and bartender.

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    Newspapers have been around for a surprisingly long time. According to the World Association of Newspapers, Relation aller Fürnemmen und gedenckwürdigen Historien is officially recognized as the world’s oldest newspaper ever printed.

    In English, the Relation’s German name translates to “Account of all distinguished and commemorable news.” Printer Johann Carolus produced the newspaper in Strasbourg, Germany, in 1605.

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    #4

    The San Francisco Examiner, California, August 23, 1932

    Vintage newspaper text about the concept of summer travelers and travel

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    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎶You're everywhere and nowhere baby, that's where you're at.

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    #5

    Brown County World, Hiawatha, Kansas, September 5, 1913

    Newspaper clipping predicting all women wearing trousers by 2013 in historic newspaper clippings

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if they were upset that it happened much more quickly than predicted?

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    #6

    Jackson County Banner, Brownstone, Indiana, August 29, 1928

    Old newspaper clipping about a plane landing after engine falls out

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    G A
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could have got stuck up there, otherwise!

    You might be wondering what exactly people read centuries ago. Well, it was a little bit of everything. Historical newspaper collections contain political news, local events, business information, advertisements, social announcements, sports, obituaries, comics, and stories about major events of the day.

    Newspapers back then did not just focus on major historical moments. They also covered the everyday stuff that mattered to ordinary readers, which is part of what makes these old clippings so much fun to look through now.

    #7

    Arkansas City Daily Traveler, Kansas, August 26, 1905

    Vintage newspaper clipping advising never to promise ice cream unless you mean it

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    #8

    The New York World, New York, August 9, 1896

    Old newspaper illustration of a sea monster from Florida with wings and tail

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    G A
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a version of The Jenny Haniver. It was a tourist souvenir/monster made by taking a ray, cutting off the fins and drying it, forming a grotesque shrunken creature. It is basically like the drawing but not nearly as lively looking....

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    #9

    Winsor Mccay In The Buffalo Enquirer, New York, August 8, 1913

    Comic strip showing humorous bathing scene by Winsor McCay

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    G A
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The creator of Gertie The Dinosaur, one of the earliest animated cartoons.

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    Local news can be revealing because it brought history down to a very human level. An old newspaper might tell you what was happening in a particular town, what businesses were advertising, which events were taking place, or what people were talking about in their communities.

    These details felt completely ordinary when they were printed. Years later, though, they become tiny snapshots of how people actually lived. A major historical event can tell you what happened. But an old newspaper can also show you what people were buying, worrying about, celebrating, and arguing over while it was happening.

    #10

    The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, August 7, 1947

    Old newspaper quote about haunted houses and ghosts from a real estate agent

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    G A
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not poltergeist though. Polts throw things!

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    #11

    The Wageworker, Lincoln, Nebraska, May 31, 1907

    Vintage newspaper text noting that men making the world's goods are not spending summer at vacation spots

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    #12

    The Schuyler Sun, Nebraska, September 12, 1902

    Newspaper clipping about Paris dogs wearing summer hats like men and horses

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    Humor and cartoons became an important part of newspaper culture, giving readers something fun to look at alongside all the serious news. Richard Felton Outcault’s The Yellow Kid is a good example.

    The character first appeared in the New York World in 1896 as a little boy in a bright yellow nightshirt, and the cartoon became so popular that other newspapers soon followed with their own comic characters. Outcault even added slangy messages to the character’s shirt, giving readers another reason to stop and read.

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    #13

    Brooklyn Eagle, New York, August 23, 1921

    Humorous newspaper storyette about deli worker refusing to come to work in pajamas

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    Phantom Phoenix
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the award for the most innocuous word to be censored by BP's censor-bot goes to "in"...

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    #14

    The Cook County Herald, Grand Marais, Minnesota, August 22, 1903

    Newspaper clipping discussing sarcasm in conversations too late to use

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The multiple memes that exist proving exactly this

    #15

    The Minneapolis Journal, Minnesota, August 15, 1905

    Newspaper clipping reviewing book titled Good Form for Men

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They can print that word in Minnesota a century ago, but not in BP now.

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    Historical newspapers are packed with advertisements for businesses, products, services, jobs, property, and pretty much anything else someone was hoping to buy or sell. Newspaper advertising has been around for centuries, giving businesses a way to get their products in front of readers while helping newspapers make money too.

    Looking at those old ads today is like getting a little peek into what people were shopping for back then. From household goods to jobs and property, they show what people needed, wanted, and were willing to spend their money on.

    Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Add us on Google

    #16

    The Wageworker, Lincoln, Nebraska, September 13, 1907

    Old newspaper excerpt criticizing low wages and high prices on goods

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    #17

    Pine Bluff Daily Graphic, Kansas, August 8, 1912

    Vintage newspaper clipping about Chicago judge ruling on a wife's rights and cold feet

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    #18

    The Centralia Enterprise, Kansas, August 8, 1884

    Newspaper clipping about Baltimore girl fined for swearing on the street

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Explains the multiple verbally a*****e women i see swinging from lamp posts on a daily basis...

    These old publications carried political news and commentary alongside stories about society, business, culture, and local affairs. Some papers were closely tied to particular political viewpoints, so they could show readers not only what was happening, but also how they were encouraged to interpret it.

    The British Library’s records, for example, show newspapers with clearly stated political leanings and strong involvement in political debates. So while the names, parties, and issues have changed over the years, people having very strong opinions about politics is one tradition that has clearly survived.

    #19

    The Tampa Tribune, Florida, August 2, 1938

    Vintage poem titled Most Annoying about forgetting to brush teeth after breakfast

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    #20

    The Age, Melbourne, Australia, July 30, 1937

    Vintage newspaper clipping about people having B.O. and using Lifebuoy soap

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    David Paterson
    Community Member
    1 hour ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's just a straightforward ad. "Lifebuoy" is a brand of soap. What makes this ad so famous is that they never state what "B.O." actually means, so you have to guess. Guessing that B.O. means body odour reinforces the power of the advertisement. It's now a standard advertising technique but back then this trick was brand new.

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    #21

    Star Tribune, Minneapolis, Minnesota, July 26, 1914

    Newspaper headline about burglar frightened away by a pet duck

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fully trained Attack Ducks are expensive though

    Political cartoons and comic strips gave artists a way to poke fun at public figures, social habits, and whatever was making news that week. A good cartoon could get a point across without needing a whole page of explanation.

    Newspapers eventually became a place where readers could catch up on the news and then see the same news turned into something funny. That mix of information and humor helped make comics and cartoons a regular part of the newspaper experience.

    #23

    The Los Angeles Times, California, July 15, 1929

    Vintage newspaper clipping of a woman with a robot cat, vintage mechanical feline news

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    #24

    The Wageworker, Lincoln, Nebraska, July 12, 1907

    Newspaper clipping about wage disputes and labor in July heat

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    People back then had plenty on their minds too. They worried about money, followed politics, looked for jobs, ran businesses, went to sporting events, and found ways to have fun. The world around them looked very different from ours. But many of the things they cared about were still relevant today.

    That could be part of what makes these old clippings so interesting. For all the changes over the years, people were still trying to get through the day, make a living, and enjoy themselves along the way.

    #25

    New-York Tribune, New York, July 2, 1916

    Old chart comparing prehistoric man's skull and a high-heeled shoe with the question about man walking on his head

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    G A
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope but some still talk out of their a**e....DJT....

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    #26

    The Greenville Daily News, South Carolina, September 19, 1919

    Newspaper excerpt advising to enjoy September and October as lovely months

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    David Paterson
    Community Member
    1 hour ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's true in Australia. Springtime. These are the loveliest months of the year for bird watching.

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    #27

    The Decatur Herald, Illinois, September 16, 1929

    Old newspaper quote about satisfaction from a cup of hot coffee

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have reached the age where nothing is more satisfying in the morning than having a pulse.

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    There’s something oddly satisfying about breezing through the past and realizing how relevant some of these things still are today.

    Which clipping caught your attention the most? And if you have a newspaper gem of your own, drop it in the comments.

    #28

    The Bakersfield Californian, Bakersfield, California, September 30, 1939

    Vintage newspaper clipping showing a blindfolded dog, illustrating mind-reading claim

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some cruel git put their pants on his head. Counting animals were a 'thing' but scientists proved they picked up on cues given by their trainers. Not sure how a blindfolded dog would for it....

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    #29

    The Salt Lake Tribune, Utah, September 4, 1949

    Autumn described as a subtle time of year in old newspaper text

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd rather see the first signs of spring, myself

    #30

    The San Francisco Examiner, California, August 10, 1913

    Vintage cartoon showing a cucumber and person with caption cool as a cucumber

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    #31

    Good Morning By The Daily Mirror, England, August 9, 1943

    Old newspaper clipping of a kitten with a leg splint titled cat catastrophe

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    #32

    The Winchester Star, Kansas, August 2, 1929

    Old newspaper tip for getting rich quick by inventing a hot dog slot machine

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    #33

    The Columbus Weekly Advocate, Kansas, July 30, 1914

    Newspaper clipping questioning if the sun being hot is unusual

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    #34

    The Decatur Herald, Illinois, July 28, 1925

    Kitten asleep on busy street blocks traffic, stopping passersby

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww. I hope someone rescued it!

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    #35

    The Tampa Tribune, Florida, July 25, 1913

    Household hints for mosquito control using bats in bedroom

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    #36

    The Winnipeg Tribune, Manitoba, November 7, 1936

    Newspaper clipping about reading in bathtub as argument for living alone

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lock the door, and you can read in the tub no matter who's in the house.

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    #37

    The Kansas Industrialist, Manhattan, July 18, 1917

    Old newspaper warning about the rising cost of living and embezzlement humor

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A hundred years later, shoplifting is an epidemic.

    #38

    Albuquerque Journal, New Mexico, July 10, 1931

    Newspaper headline about baby proving paternity in court case

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bit of a self burn if she is owning up to cheating...

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    #39

    The Macon News, Georgia, July 10, 1915

    Newspaper text praising the experience of eating tender boiled corn with a buttery ear

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    Blix
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can name a couple of things better to bury your face in.

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    #40

    The Missoulian, Montana, June 30, 1934

    Old newspaper clipping about no new sin being discovered in five thousand years

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then someone made the Internet and whole new levels of depravity were unlocked...

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    #41

    The San Francisco Examiner, California, June 30, 1932

    Comic strips showing a fish falling in love with a fishing worm in a fishing cartoon

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    #42

    The Tatler, England, June 29, 1938

    Sequence of vintage photos showing a mouse and a mousetrap with captions

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    #43

    Edmonton Journal, Alberta, June 29, 1948

    Newspaper text questioning bewhiskered French statesmen in old photos

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you should keep your kink private, actually....

    #44

    The Pittsburgh Press, Pennsylvania, September 15, 1932

    Newspaper clipping about pet turtles Oscar and Wilde following child and befriending cat

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    Multa Nocte (she/her 8647)
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s the year my mother was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

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    #45

    Independence Daily Reporter, Kansas, September 13, 1906

    Vintage newspaper quote about Monday being the meanest day of the week on earth

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dunno. I struggle with Wednesdays. Hump Day, y'know?

    #46

    The San Francisco Examiner, California, September 6, 1934

    Cartoon advertising Eat at Joes with vintage newspaper illustration

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    #47

    The Plain Speaker, Hazleton, Pennsylvania, November 6, 1936

    Historic newspaper headline about talking crow stirring Detroit with a cat and bird incident

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    #48

    The Roanoke News, Weldon, North Carolina, August 19, 1909

    Vintage newspaper clipping clarifying one cent pieces are not called pennies in the US

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pennies are pence so surely they would be cennies if cents?

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    #49

    The Gaffney Ledger, South Carolina, August 15, 1925

    Old newspaper snippet about turtles having no teeth and avoiding dentist visits

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    #50

    The Wichita Beacon, Kansas, August 9, 1918

    Historic newspaper excerpt explaining US soldier slang IDK meaning

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried to find out what "I.D.K" stood for, but everyone I asked clamed they didn't know.

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    #51

    The Topeka Daily Capital, Kansas, August 8, 1905

    Newspaper clipping commenting on men's pride in wearing goatees

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    #52

    The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 31, 1924

    Historic newspaper text on becoming what we eat, mentioning iced tea

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make it a Long Island version and I'm on board

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    #53

    St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri, July 8, 1901

    Historic newspaper headline about the first man with an umbrella and questions about his story

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    #54

    Perrysburg Journal, Ohio, July 5, 1890

    Vintage newspaper clipping titled A Dog Hospital showing cartoon dogs in hospital wards for canines

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    #55

    The Fool-Killer, Pores Knob, North Carolina, July 1, 1926

    Vintage newspaper excerpt warning Jupiter may swallow the earth, featuring professor's quote

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    #56

    The San Francisco Examiner, California, June 29, 1913

    Vintage cartoon showing people and a labeled curiosity figure

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its the meme! It's the meme!

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    #57

    The Call-Leader, Elwood, Indiana, June 28, 1915

    Vintage newspaper clipping poem about identifying mushrooms

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    TheBadHalfofHel
    Community Member
    12 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All plants are edible. Some only once.

    #58

    The San Francisco Examiner, California, September 17, 1934

    Vintage cartoon showing auctioneer with gavel and seated man

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    #59

    Holbrook Argus, Arizona, September 3, 1912

    Newspaper headline about a dog that uses the phone in vintage clipping

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where is he calling? Someone in Barking?

    #60

    Dixon Evening Telegraph, Illinois, August 30, 1928

    Old newspaper headline about a dog catcher losing his job for catching too many dogs

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Americans elected Biden to repair the damage done by Trump. Once that was accomplished, we brought back Trump.

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    #61

    The Daily Herald, Provo, Utah, August 29, 1935

    Funny vintage newspaper clipping about elevator operators letting people off at wrong floors

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    #62

    Tampa Bay Times, St. Petersburg, Florida, August 15, 1914

    Historic newspaper headline about a shark eating an alarm clock and fleeing

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    #63

    Evening Public Ledger, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, August 8, 1918

    Newspaper clipping about burnt typewriter keys interfering with punctuation

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Summer 2026 all over again?

    #64

    The Bremen Enquirer, Indiana, July 24, 1930

    Old newspaper quote about a modern mother and ashes in a jar, vintage humor

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "That's a picture of my dear departed wife." "Oh, she died?' "No, she just departed."

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    #65

    The Winnipeg Tribune, Manitoba, November 11, 1933

    Historic aquarium photo capturing a fish kiss, vintage aquatic animal clipping

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    G A
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is actually a dominance challenge between 2 males, not at all romantic

    #66

    Chicago Tribune, Illinois, October 15, 1905

    Newspaper list explaining reasons why employees claim they were fired

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    CarEnthusiast
    Community Member
    41 minutes ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will someone please explain what the "swelled heads" means? a headache?

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    #67

    The Star Press, Muncie, Indiana, July 10, 1955

    Newspaper text on science-fiction writers and alien intelligence

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    #68

    St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri, July 5, 1910

    Old newspaper excerpt describing an incident where a pet cow injured a man by pinning him down

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    Chich the witch
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not going to tell you again. Cold hands!!!

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    #69

    The Macon News, Georgia, July 10, 1915

    Old newspaper clipping suggesting onion as a flavor for ice cream

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    G A
    Community Member
    58 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure it's popular in Japan

    #70

    St. Louis Globe-Democrat, Missouri, July 1, 1922

    Historical newspaper text debating if dandelions are fruit and referencing the constitution

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    G A
    Community Member
    56 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pluto is not a planet, tomatoes are fruit, strawberries are drapes, it's a madhouse! A MADHOUSE!

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