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Every day nearly 60,000 people nationwide undergo surgery under anesthesia. You’ve probably seen the hilarious effect of it with patients blurting out the most awkward things and later having no recollection of what they’ve said. 

What if you played on that phenomenon and made your surgeon laugh out loud by saying something witty just before the anesthesia kicked in? A poster on Reddit asked this exact question and got some of the best suggestions that you can use the next time you go under.

More info: Reddit

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#1

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working The nurse assisting with my vasectomy said, “I think I’m going to be sick” and ran out of the room. I looked at my doctor and said that’s not the usual reaction I get when I drop my pants.

It took him 10 minutes to compose himself.

mcnessa32 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:
204points
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#2

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Just before I went under for a colonoscopy I told the Doc, "Are you sure this is right? I just came in for a teeth cleaning." Without missing a beat he replied, "Don't worry, we can get there from here.".

Skittles_the_Unicorn , Quang Tri NGUYEN Report

Final score:
195points
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#3

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Anesthesiologist: "OK, we're going to go to sleep now."

Me: "I think ONE of us should stay awake"... and I was out.

Here_4_the_INFO , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
166points
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Since we’re talking about hilarious things to say before getting sedated, you should know that patients also say really funny things when under anesthesia. Bored Panda interviewed Dr. Anthony Youn, who is known as America's Holistic Plastic Surgeon, to learn about some of his experiences with such patients. He shared that: “This happens occasionally. I had one patient who just woke up after surgery and was quite groggy and said, ‘How does Dr. Youn have so much hair when he's so OLD?’ Now, she was in her 60s, so who's calling who old?”

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He also added, “I had another patient say after surgery, ‘I didn't soil my pants, did I?’ She was worried she would have a bowel movement during surgery! I've had many patients wake up crying, but they had no idea what they were crying about! Just blubbering crying!”
#4

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was being put under for a relatively minor operation on my foot as a teenager. I'm in bed in the prep room, already hooked up to an IV. The anesthesiologist comes in and sits down right next to the bed and leans in with his elbows on his knees as he talks to me about what the anesthesia was going to feel like.


All of a sudden, I am WOOZY. I looked down over the edge of the bed, and he's holding my IV tube and injecting a syringe into the port. He just went and did it, midsentence. I don't think he even looked away from me.


According to my mom, I swung my head up to look at him, said, "Ooohh, so you're a *sneaky* bastard," and then immediately went out.

ImALlamaAgain , Alexander Grey Report

Final score:
165points
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#5

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I asked my surgical team if anyone needed anything while I was out.

Former-Finish4653 , Jorge Chan Report

Final score:
161points
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#6

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I have seen a patient pull off a pretty good one.
"Wanna hear a joke? How do you keep an anesthetist in suspense?".

Briar_Knight , Jsme MILA Report

Final score:
148points
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Most people who go under anesthesia know that it will make them feel loopy. But what does that actually mean? The sedatives that are used affect certain parts of the brain and their chemicals, which can alter your state of consciousness and, therefore, your behavior. For example, the inhalation of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) can block certain neurotransmitters that cause anxiety. It also leads to the release of norepinephrine, a brain chemical that can reduce your pain and discomfort.

In general, anesthesia can reduce anxiety and discomfort and make you feel more relaxed during the surgical process. Some sedatives can even have a longer effect, which is why patients are asked not to drive heavy machinery after the process, or told to bring someone along with them. It also explains why there are so many videos of people acting strangely after surgery.

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#7

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was brutally beaten the night before Thanksgiving by 3 guys with baseball bat while walking to the subway. I came to being rushed into to OR and saw the transfusion bracelets they put on you. I look up saw the bags and nurse rushing me into the OR and asked the nurses and doctors, "Do these things come in turkey and gravy flavor?" I immediately went into a coma for 3 days. I almost died with my last words being a Thanksgiving joke, lol.

jnordwick , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
146points
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#8

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I'm a man in his mid-50s with a belly. I told them, "If it's a choice between me and the baby... choose me.".

BanditSixActual , Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona Report

Final score:
141points
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#9

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was hospitalized and they were doing a colonoscopy to see if they could figure out what was wrong. Right before the anesthesia kicked in I asked the doctor "Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first?" When I woke up he was there with my breakfast.

blesseds1lence , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
137points
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General anesthesia has changed the game for surgeries because it helps people stay in a relative state of bliss while they are operated on. But that’s only because we’ve come a long way from the sedatives of before. Before the medicines of today came into use, the best “pain-killer” solutions people had were biting down on a stick or taking a shot of whiskey.

In 1842, a man named Crawford Long administered the substance called ether to a man undergoing surgery for a tumor. He found that it helped alleviate the patient’s pain and he later published his discoveries for people to use. It’s funny to think that the brilliant minds behind anesthesia also indirectly helped create a funny genre of video.
#10

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was getting the shock treatment for an irregular heartbeat, and after they gave me the shot, my doctor asked me some out of left field, stupid question. I didn’t answer the question, but said something to the effect of, “that sounds like a stupid question to distract me until the meds knock me out.” All the medical people in the room started laughing hysterically. Afterwards I found out that he uses that same question every time, and one of them had just asked him why he uses that same question before I was brought into the room. He said because it was a good question that makes people think and doing so distracts them until the meds take effect.

joseph4th , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:
117points
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#11

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I asked the nurse prepping me for surgery if he had heard that diarrhea is hereditary as it runs through your jeans. He geeked out and asked if he could keep me awake long enough to tell it to the surgeons in the OR, which I did. I remember hearing them laugh as I counted down.

shadrimar , Rogério Martins Report

Final score:
108points
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#12

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Apparently "don't worry I'm not embarrassed cause I'm a [adult movie] star"

I have no memory of saying this, but apparently I did right before I went out cold for my testicular torsion surgery

I was greeted with "good morning [adult movie] star!" when the doctor went rounds the next morning.

Taelonius , Hudson Marques Report

Final score:
92points
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Dr. Anthony Youn, the surgeon we interviewed, also told us about a humorous encounter he had with a patient during surgery. He said, “most of the time before surgery they are pretty with it. They might get a little loopy, but that's it. I once had a patient who was in the inner circle with one of the rappers in the whole Tupac/Biggie scene, and once they were under the influence I asked who killed Tupac and Biggie and they told me!”

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#13

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Something I actually said to the anaesthesiologist as he was putting me to sleep was “Mr. Wonka! It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!” Passed out with the whole operating theatre laughing hysterically.

The-goobie , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
92points
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#14

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working No joke, they told me to start counting down from 100 and I said “How can you tell when I’m…” I wanted to say unconscious, but I don’t remember getting to that word.

paco_o_chang , melis can Report

Final score:
91points
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#15

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Before my vasectomy I told my doctor, “don’t go nuts down there”.

bigmilker , Павел Сорокин Report

Final score:
91points
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An interesting fact about sedatives from an anesthesiologist is that people who smoke often need extra anesthesia. A study found that women who smoked needed 33% more anesthesia during surgery than female non-smokers. This is because they have irritated airways and, as a result, need higher doses of pain medication to improve their tolerance to the breathing tubes.

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Another thing about anesthesia is that it may take a little time to wear off with people even displaying the (hilarious) after-effects of it. Some folk experience nausea and vomiting after going under. But, luckily for them, research has found that smelling ginger or lavender essential oils for 5 minutes could lessen the severity of those symptoms. Even if that doesn’t work, these effects aren’t permanent and often wear off after a few hours at most.
#16

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working My mom said she dated you in college and that you're my......

inhellforever666 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
88points
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#17

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I had a colonoscopy and right when they began administering the sleepy meds I asked "how long will this take?" They said "it depends on how well you followed the prep schedule," meaning the liquid diet and laxatives to clean out the pipes the day before.

I look at them with a real confused look on my face and said "what prep?!" right before the lights went out.

JamieByGodNoble , National Cancer Institute Report

Final score:
85points
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#18

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was about to have a bowel resection and told the surgeon that he only had my permission to take enough to make ONE bratwurst. I also told him that I'd deliberately let my 6-pack abs atrophy so it'd be a bit easier for him to cut through.

AusCan531 , Mateusz Dach Report

Final score:
84points
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Anesthesia isn’t something to be fooled around with, but if you are going to be put under during a surgical procedure, you can make it so much more fun by trying out some of these interesting suggestions. Who knows, you might make your surgeon's day! Have you thought of something funny to say to your doctor before the sedatives kick in? Let us know in the comments.
#19

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working This isn't the first time I've had a room full of people inside of me.

Regular_throwaway_83 , Richard Catabay Report

Final score:
83points
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#20

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working When the nurse asked me what op I was having (comon last min check question) I gestured over my shoulder at the ENT surgeon and said "a*****e over yonder is going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge, but he's under strict instructions to not breach the brain barrier unless he can gaurentee he only removes the depressed braincells"

For context I was having sinus surgery both a mini FES and a pollop removal and my wife went to med school either the ENT surgeon..

Said ENT nearly bust a gut laughing and the poor nurse was so flustered and shocked at my answer apparently I went out like a light and they couldn't start operating for about 10 min cause Mat (ENT) couldn't stop giggling.

parsious , National Cancer Institute Report

Final score:
82points
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#21

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was given propofol for anaesthesia last year & was joking with the anaesthesiologist about Micheal Jackson & just before I went under he's started singing Billie Jean to me.

Deathzhead84 , Michael Jackson Report

Final score:
81points
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#22

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Just before I went to Mario Land from the pain meds after I shattered ankle, I asked the attending nurse to prom. I was 35 at the time.

aenus79 , Long Truong Report

Final score:
74points
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#23

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Not quite the same but I had an interesting interaction with the nurse who wheeled me in for my colonoscopy. I was terrified to be anaesthetised and he said “don’t stress, Michael Jackson had this stuff for breakfast!”

Me: “Ummm, probably why Michael Jackson is dead.”.

Positive-Pea493 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
70points
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#24

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was about to have a routine colonoscopy. They told me to count backwards from twenty. After a few seconds I was still awake. I looked at the surgeon and said don't touch my butt until I'm asleep or I will be embarrassed!! They laughed, and it was the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery and my husband helping me dress to leave.

MrsZerg , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:
64points
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#25

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I swallowed a lot of gum as a kid, can you check on that for me?

NonprofitDilemma , Sherman Trotz Report

Final score:
62points
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#26

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I'm a redhead, so I always tell the anesthesiologist that I'm not a cheap date. This came after one told me that he nearly emptied his bag of meds to keep me under for the length of the surgery. I woke up still intubated and tried to pull the tube out by myself.

ZealousidealImpact60 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
61points
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#27

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Just make sure I wake up looking like Chris Hemsworth, okay?

moraschjungquist824 , Vanity Fair Report

Final score:
60points
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#28

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I asked the surgeon who was about to implant a spinal cord stimulator in me if they had WiFi in the OR. With a puzzled lock he asked why I was asking that. I said, “ In case you need to lookup something about the procedure “. His reply, “ Don’t worry about that, I helped develop the procedure “.

blizzard7788 , Dreamlike Street Report

Final score:
59points
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#29

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Years ago, before I went into operating room my doctor asked me to help prank his anesthesiologist friend. I was game so he asked me to say 'oh no, not you again'. Which I did, the look on his face priceless, went out to the laughter in the room.

Mimi_Roof_4432 , EGO AGENCY Report

Final score:
59points
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#30

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I made the nurse laugh because i said the room and the clock on the wall reminded me of a SAW movie.

bleedformemox , Lionsgate Movies Report

Final score:
56points
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#31

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working The 1 time I went under I asked the Dr if I was supposed to count back from 100 like I always saw in TV.

He said "it doesn't matter you'll be out before you get to 75"

"100 99 98 97 96....."
"Sir!sir!wake up it's time to get dressed"

I'm not sure if he thought it was funny but I did afterwards.

BlueFalconPunch , Artur Tumasjan Report

Final score:
52points
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#32

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working And the lottery numbers tonight are 25, 36....

AlwaysLateToThaParty Report

Final score:
45points
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#33

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I'm looking forward to having you inside me.

jumpdriver , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:
42points
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