Join the Fun!

Skittles_the_Unicorn , Quang Tri NGUYEN Report

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Just before I went under for a colonoscopy I told the Doc, "Are you sure this is right? I just came in for a teeth cleaning." Without missing a beat he replied, "Don't worry, we can get there from here.".

Final score:

195points

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Susan Teter 5 months ago

Talk about taking the scenic route

59points

Here_4_the_INFO , cottonbro studio Report

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Anesthesiologist: "OK, we're going to go to sleep now."

Me: "I think ONE of us should stay awake"... and I was out.

Final score:

166points

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Abigail Moritz 5 months ago

😂

36points

Since we’re talking about hilarious things to say before getting sedated, you should know that patients also say really funny things when under anesthesia. Bored Panda interviewed Dr. Anthony Youn, who is known as America's Holistic Plastic Surgeon, to learn about some of his experiences with such patients. He shared that: “This happens occasionally. I had one patient who just woke up after surgery and was quite groggy and said, ‘How does Dr. Youn have so much hair when he's so OLD?’ Now, she was in her 60s, so who's calling who old?”

He also added, “I had another patient say after surgery, ‘I didn't soil my pants, did I?’ She was worried she would have a bowel movement during surgery! I've had many patients wake up crying, but they had no idea what they were crying about! Just blubbering crying!”

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was being put under for a relatively minor operation on my foot as a teenager. I'm in bed in the prep room, already hooked up to an IV. The anesthesiologist comes in and sits down right next to the bed and leans in with his elbows on his knees as he talks to me about what the anesthesia was going to feel like.

All of a sudden, I am WOOZY. I looked down over the edge of the bed, and he's holding my IV tube and injecting a syringe into the port. He just went and did it, midsentence. I don't think he even looked away from me.

According to my mom, I swung my head up to look at him, said, "Ooohh, so you're a *sneaky* bastard," and then immediately went out.

ImALlamaAgain , Alexander Grey Report

Final score:

165points

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ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

🤣

34points

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I asked my surgical team if anyone needed anything while I was out.

Former-Finish4653 , Jorge Chan Report

Final score:

161points

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glowworm2 5 months ago

I love this one!

46points

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I have seen a patient pull off a pretty good one.
"Wanna hear a joke? How do you keep an anesthetist in suspense?".

Briar_Knight , Jsme MILA Report

Final score:

148points

POST

mindblank 5 months ago

HAHAHAHA!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 there isno punchline!

40points

Most people who go under anesthesia know that it will make them feel loopy. But what does that actually mean? The sedatives that are used affect certain parts of the brain and their chemicals, which can alter your state of consciousness and, therefore, your behavior. For example, the inhalation of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) can block certain neurotransmitters that cause anxiety. It also leads to the release of norepinephrine, a brain chemical that can reduce your pain and discomfort.

In general, anesthesia can reduce anxiety and discomfort and make you feel more relaxed during the surgical process. Some sedatives can even have a longer effect, which is why patients are asked not to drive heavy machinery after the process, or told to bring someone along with them. It also explains why there are so many videos of people acting strangely after surgery.

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was brutally beaten the night before Thanksgiving by 3 guys with baseball bat while walking to the subway. I came to being rushed into to OR and saw the transfusion bracelets they put on you. I look up saw the bags and nurse rushing me into the OR and asked the nurses and doctors, "Do these things come in turkey and gravy flavor?" I immediately went into a coma for 3 days. I almost died with my last words being a Thanksgiving joke, lol.

jnordwick , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

146points

POST

DudeFortitude (He/Him) 5 months ago

Absolute legend.

51points

BanditSixActual , Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona Report

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I'm a man in his mid-50s with a belly. I told them, "If it's a choice between me and the baby... choose me.".

Final score:

141points

POST

UncleJohn3000 5 months ago

I can hear that belt screaming through the Internet.

40points

blesseds1lence , cottonbro studio Report

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was hospitalized and they were doing a colonoscopy to see if they could figure out what was wrong. Right before the anesthesia kicked in I asked the doctor "Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first?" When I woke up he was there with my breakfast.

Final score:

137points

POST

Kim Lorton 5 months ago

Not that, is a great date!

33points

General anesthesia has changed the game for surgeries because it helps people stay in a relative state of bliss while they are operated on. But that’s only because we’ve come a long way from the sedatives of before. Before the medicines of today came into use, the best “pain-killer” solutions people had were biting down on a stick or taking a shot of whiskey.

In 1842, a man named Crawford Long administered the substance called ether to a man undergoing surgery for a tumor. He found that it helped alleviate the patient’s pain and he later published his discoveries for people to use. It’s funny to think that the brilliant minds behind anesthesia also indirectly helped create a funny genre of video.

#10

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was getting the shock treatment for an irregular heartbeat, and after they gave me the shot, my doctor asked me some out of left field, stupid question. I didn’t answer the question, but said something to the effect of, “that sounds like a stupid question to distract me until the meds knock me out.” All the medical people in the room started laughing hysterically. Afterwards I found out that he uses that same question every time, and one of them had just asked him why he uses that same question before I was brought into the room. He said because it was a good question that makes people think and doing so distracts them until the meds take effect.

joseph4th , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:

117points

POST

adrien 5 months ago

what was the question

49points

#11

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I asked the nurse prepping me for surgery if he had heard that diarrhea is hereditary as it runs through your jeans. He geeked out and asked if he could keep me awake long enough to tell it to the surgeons in the OR, which I did. I remember hearing them laugh as I counted down.

shadrimar , Rogério Martins Report

Final score:

108points

POST

ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

🤌🏿 kisses fingers. Brilliant my friend, brilliant.

27points

#12

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Apparently "don't worry I'm not embarrassed cause I'm a [adult movie] star"

I have no memory of saying this, but apparently I did right before I went out cold for my testicular torsion surgery

I was greeted with "good morning [adult movie] star!" when the doctor went rounds the next morning.

Taelonius , Hudson Marques Report

Final score:

92points

POST

Chris Landrum 5 months ago

I was a teenager when I had the same thing and I asked my mom and sister if I would still be able to have kids

13points

Dr. Anthony Youn, the surgeon we interviewed, also told us about a humorous encounter he had with a patient during surgery. He said, “most of the time before surgery they are pretty with it. They might get a little loopy, but that's it. I once had a patient who was in the inner circle with one of the rappers in the whole Tupac/Biggie scene, and once they were under the influence I asked who killed Tupac and Biggie and they told me!”

#13

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Something I actually said to the anaesthesiologist as he was putting me to sleep was “Mr. Wonka! It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!” Passed out with the whole operating theatre laughing hysterically.

The-goobie , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

92points

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DemonicPanda 5 months ago

And I laughed with them

16points

#14

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working No joke, they told me to start counting down from 100 and I said “How can you tell when I’m…” I wanted to say unconscious, but I don’t remember getting to that word.

paco_o_chang , melis can Report

Final score:

91points

POST

g90814 5 months ago

It's a trap! "I'm just going to inject something to make you relax...." then you wake up X minutes/hours later.

28points

bigmilker , Павел Сорокин Report

#15

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Before my vasectomy I told my doctor, “don’t go nuts down there”.

Final score:

91points

POST

glowworm2 5 months ago

Cute!

20points

inhellforever666 , RDNE Stock project Report

An interesting fact about sedatives from an anesthesiologist is that people who smoke often need extra anesthesia. A study found that women who smoked needed 33% more anesthesia during surgery than female non-smokers. This is because they have irritated airways and, as a result, need higher doses of pain medication to improve their tolerance to the breathing tubes.

Another thing about anesthesia is that it may take a little time to wear off with people even displaying the (hilarious) after-effects of it. Some folk experience nausea and vomiting after going under. But, luckily for them, research has found that smelling ginger or lavender essential oils for 5 minutes could lessen the severity of those symptoms. Even if that doesn’t work, these effects aren’t permanent and often wear off after a few hours at most.

#16

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working My mom said she dated you in college and that you're my......

Final score:

88points

POST

Abigail Moritz 5 months ago

“And?” We need an answer!?

22points

JamieByGodNoble , National Cancer Institute Report

#17

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I had a colonoscopy and right when they began administering the sleepy meds I asked "how long will this take?" They said "it depends on how well you followed the prep schedule," meaning the liquid diet and laxatives to clean out the pipes the day before.

I look at them with a real confused look on my face and said "what prep?!" right before the lights went out.

Final score:

85points

POST

g90814 5 months ago

worst part of the procedure... the stuff you drink tastes awful... followed by the toilet time, of course.

57points

Regular_throwaway_83 , Richard Catabay Report

#18

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was about to have a bowel resection and told the surgeon that he only had my permission to take enough to make ONE bratwurst. I also told him that I'd deliberately let my 6-pack abs atrophy so it'd be a bit easier for him to cut through.

AusCan531 , Mateusz Dach Report

Final score:

84points

POST

ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

Some of these are really quite clever. 😁

20points

Anesthesia isn’t something to be fooled around with, but if you are going to be put under during a surgical procedure, you can make it so much more fun by trying out some of these interesting suggestions. Who knows, you might make your surgeon's day! Have you thought of something funny to say to your doctor before the sedatives kick in? Let us know in the comments.

#19

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working This isn't the first time I've had a room full of people inside of me.

Final score:

83points

POST

MalibuClassicMan 5 months ago

Demons maybe; just asking?

17points

parsious , National Cancer Institute Report

#20

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working When the nurse asked me what op I was having (comon last min check question) I gestured over my shoulder at the ENT surgeon and said "a*****e over yonder is going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge, but he's under strict instructions to not breach the brain barrier unless he can gaurentee he only removes the depressed braincells"

For context I was having sinus surgery both a mini FES and a pollop removal and my wife went to med school either the ENT surgeon..

Said ENT nearly bust a gut laughing and the poor nurse was so flustered and shocked at my answer apparently I went out like a light and they couldn't start operating for about 10 min cause Mat (ENT) couldn't stop giggling.

Final score:

82points

POST

ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

I knew exactly what surgery you were talking about from ,"going to stick a dremel up my nose and evict both Phillis and a chunk of over growing cartliedge." Silver tongued devil. :)

23points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#21

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was given propofol for anaesthesia last year & was joking with the anaesthesiologist about Micheal Jackson & just before I went under he's started singing Billie Jean to me.

Deathzhead84 , Michael Jackson Report

Final score:

81points

POST

Kelly H. Wilder 5 months ago

I was given propofol for my colonoscopy last year, and MJ was the only thing I could think of when the anesthesiologist was going over it with me. I just wanted to know if he was more observant than Conrad Murray.

19points

#22

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Just before I went to Mario Land from the pain meds after I shattered ankle, I asked the attending nurse to prom. I was 35 at the time.

aenus79 , Long Truong Report

Final score:

74points

POST

Me Oh My (He/They) 5 months ago

"Went to Mario Land.."

24points

Positive-Pea493 , RDNE Stock project Report

#23

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Not quite the same but I had an interesting interaction with the nurse who wheeled me in for my colonoscopy. I was terrified to be anaesthetised and he said “don’t stress, Michael Jackson had this stuff for breakfast!”

Me: “Ummm, probably why Michael Jackson is dead.”.

Final score:

70points

POST

flower petals 5 months ago (edited)

I don’t know whether “this is what MJ had” is quite the flex some people think it is.. 😳

28points

#24

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I was about to have a routine colonoscopy. They told me to count backwards from twenty. After a few seconds I was still awake. I looked at the surgeon and said don't touch my butt until I'm asleep or I will be embarrassed!! They laughed, and it was the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery and my husband helping me dress to leave.

MrsZerg , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

64points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago

The anesthesia didn't work on my mom. She felt everything, but couldn't move or talk.

28points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#25

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I swallowed a lot of gum as a kid, can you check on that for me?

NonprofitDilemma , Sherman Trotz Report

Final score:

62points

POST

Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 5 months ago

😂😂

5points

#26

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I'm a redhead, so I always tell the anesthesiologist that I'm not a cheap date. This came after one told me that he nearly emptied his bag of meds to keep me under for the length of the surgery. I woke up still intubated and tried to pull the tube out by myself.

ZealousidealImpact60 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

61points

POST

sturmwesen 5 months ago (edited)

Not a red head, but my metabolism chucks propophol etc. like water. I always tell them that they will need to monitor me closely and increase the dosage and even more important: I am a fighter if I am under anesthesia. Nearly knocked my dentist out once. They never listen.

37points

moraschjungquist824 , Vanity Fair Report

#27

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Just make sure I wake up looking like Chris Hemsworth, okay?

Final score:

60points

POST

MalibuClassicMan 5 months ago

Well; how did that work out for you?

14points

#28

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I asked the surgeon who was about to implant a spinal cord stimulator in me if they had WiFi in the OR. With a puzzled lock he asked why I was asking that. I said, “ In case you need to lookup something about the procedure “. His reply, “ Don’t worry about that, I helped develop the procedure “.

blizzard7788 , Dreamlike Street Report

Final score:

59points

POST

Elchinero 5 months ago

Asked a dentist if he had ever done this "procedure"? "No, but I have a book on it, somewhere, here." We laughed.

4points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#29

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working Years ago, before I went into operating room my doctor asked me to help prank his anesthesiologist friend. I was game so he asked me to say 'oh no, not you again'. Which I did, the look on his face priceless, went out to the laughter in the room.

Mimi_Roof_4432 , EGO AGENCY Report

Final score:

59points

POST

Mariët 5 months ago (edited)

You had to be there i guess

48points

#30

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I made the nurse laugh because i said the room and the clock on the wall reminded me of a SAW movie.

bleedformemox , Lionsgate Movies Report

Final score:

56points

POST

Emo Nemo 5 months ago

I wanna play a game.

10points

#31

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working The 1 time I went under I asked the Dr if I was supposed to count back from 100 like I always saw in TV.

He said "it doesn't matter you'll be out before you get to 75"

"100 99 98 97 96....."
"Sir!sir!wake up it's time to get dressed"

I'm not sure if he thought it was funny but I did afterwards.

BlueFalconPunch , Artur Tumasjan Report

Final score:

52points

POST

Hi 5 months ago

I've been out several times don't think I've ever made it out of the high 90's.

20points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#32

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working And the lottery numbers tonight are 25, 36....

AlwaysLateToThaParty Report

Final score:

45points

POST

I-like-dogs 5 months ago

Were they right?

8points

#33

33 Funny Things People Said To Medical Staff Before Their Anesthesia Started Working I'm looking forward to having you inside me.

jumpdriver , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Robert T 5 months ago

Oooeerrrr Missus!

7points

You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

Read less »

You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

Read less »

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

Apatheist Account2 5 months ago

General anaesthetic is a wonderful invention.

21points

les 5 months ago

my last colonoscopy i wrote "i do not give you premission to share on youtube" above my ring. let me tell you, its really f*****g hard to write on your own a**e

14points

Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 5 months ago

As I was going under before my back surgery, I told the surgeon, "They should sell this s**t at Pink Floyd concerts."

13points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 5 months ago

Where's "im not smart enough to make a joke" on the poll?

8points

Jennifer Smith 5 months ago

My second surgery after the first one was botched I asked the doctor if he knew what he was doing. Right as I was going out I heard him say “don’t worry I looked it up on YouTube this morning “

7points

Julie S 5 months ago

You really can learn anything on YouTube

2points

Val 5 months ago

I was about to have an emergency C section and the nurse kept saying she was doing a "knife check" to see if I could feel anything. I said, "IF YOU CUT ME RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO THROW UP!" And I did. Then passed out.

5points

Sedona 5 months ago

Is it common to put people under during colonoscopy? Because no one I know had it done unconscious.

3points

ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago (edited)

I looked it up and it seems like it depends on which hospital/clinic you go to? There are 3 types of anesthesia used for colonoscopy: Moderate or “conscious” sedation (which is what I have had, I was awake), Monitored anesthesia care (MAC) or deep sedation, and general anesthesia.

5points

TotallyNOTAFox 5 months ago

Here in Germany it seems quite common, I had two so far and always was knocked out - same going to happen with the next one

2points

jonesnori 5 months ago

It's usually sedation, but can be light or heavy. My first one was light, and I stayed awake and watched interestedly on the monitor the whole time. All subsequent ones have been heavy sedation, and I slept through them.

2points

Becca not Becky 5 months ago (edited)

Usually just with propofol sedation rather than total anesthesia. They don't usually need ventilator support or anything extensive. People sometimes stir a bit but they're pretty out of it. That's how they did it when I was shadowing, at least.

2points

Papa 5 months ago

I've had several. I'm mostly out of it, but definitely not all the way unconscious.

2points

Ghostpotato 5 months ago

I think it's standard procedure in the US

1point

les 5 months ago

it usually depends how deep they are going. mine are upper bowel so i get knocked out as they tried it under a local anasthetic and i felt everything

0points

Gg 5 months ago

Wheeled into the OR, nothing on below the waist. Started panicking and the Dr was trying to talk me down. She said just close your eyes you're on a beautiful beach. I replied with "what the &$#@ kind of beach is this?!"

2points

Kerry Borthwick 5 months ago

I cried when I was getting prepared for being put under I was so scared I was going die because I had a old lady telling me for hour how members of her family died being put under I was 28

2points

David Fox 5 months ago

I have Kidney disease so I get aot of hospital catheterisations and cystoscopies so I have F*CK tattooed above my p3nis on my pubic area.......always get a laugh from the surgical team.

2points

Sheba's Mum 5 months ago

Apparently, when being sedated for a colonoscopy, the doctor asked how I was feeling. My response was " let me stick a camera up your a**e and see how you feel". Then in recovery, the nurse asked if I was OK and I offered to turn cartwheels down the ward!

2points

Aimee Cayer 5 months ago

I was having sinus surgery and was enjoying listening to the doctors choice of music in the OR prior to going to sleep. Well, he chose American Pie. Unfortunately, the line that played as I fell asleep was, this will be the day that I die. No matter how hard I tried to stay awake for the next line so that wasn't the last thing I heard, I failed. I told the doctor at a follow up visit that I enjoyed his music selection, he might want to choose that to play while his patients are fully out. He almost died laughing.

1point

Rizzo 5 months ago

I thought a long time for a funny sentence I can drop to the hospital staff when I wake up after surgery. I was still very high and it didn't help that I shouted: "You fools blew my cover!" a dozen times until I learned they haven't overheard it - they simply didn't find it as funny as I did.

1point

Doodles1983 5 months ago (edited)

As a pharmacy tech, I wanted to know what was in each syringe. “Fentanyl. You should feel like you’ve had a few glasses of wine…” “I feel nothiiii oooooooh there it is. That’s good sh*t” Then took forever in the propofol count. I fought it hard and we metabolise fast in my family (like we need 4 lots of numbing for a filling!). As I was enjoying the fentanyl.

1point

Elisabeth Smith 5 months ago

My husband had a colonoscopy. When he was done, the doctor asked me to help him get dressed. He was cranky about that, but he managed to get it done. Then he asked me if my kindle was in his purse. (I said it was.). After we got in the car, he said he was starving and asked if I could go through the McDonalds drive thru, as it was nearby. He ate two steak and egg muffins. When we got home, he ate 3 more eggs with toast. He had no memory of eating the McDonalds food.

1point

Some guy 5 months ago

My wife reacted similarly after her first colonoscopy. That's why propofol is nicknamed "milk of amnesia". (Plus it's white.)

0points

Edward Finger Hands 5 months ago (edited)

I do not react well to anesthesia at all, I wish I had cute stories about it lol

1point

Rick Seiden 5 months ago

There was a day when I wouldn't have to bring it up, but now that I'm getting on in years, I'd have to tell the docs that I'm actually a redhead. Not enough left on top to tell, and the beard is mostly gray. When I was a kid and used to run around outside, it was almost that characteristic orange.

1point

General Stukov 5 months ago

I had to get surgery on my ulna nerve tunnel to repair it, (thanks deli work) thankfully it was taken care of by my company but i was nervous, i trusted the doctor and it's functioning better then my left arm but apparently before i passed out i looked to the very attractive anaesthesiologist and said, "now to wake me up, you gotta kiss me" and they had a good laugh i apparently was out worryingly long and when i did wake the woman left me with a Hershey's kiss and a note that said, "there's the kiss you wanted, see you soon!" I thought i had a date! No, apparently she looked me up and saw i was getting a colonoscopy next month, lol...

1point

Jan Dunn 5 months ago

I was going into surgery for a neck stabilization. They didn't give me that little calm down cocktail before you go into the operating room and I'm looking at stainless steel power tools hanging from the ceiling and I informed the anesthesiologist that I was terrified and that I was a third degree black belt and he wouldn't be able to stop......

1point

Captain Kyra 5 months ago

Mine had worn off when they had to do an emergency surgery before my scheduled procedure. So I was not calm and fully alert when they began strapping me to the surgical table. That was the moment I felt the most vulnerable in my life.

0points

Ghostpotato 5 months ago

I'm just jealous of all the people that got to sleep through their colonoscopies, I got the max dose of pain meds while I had mine done and it still hurt like f**k.

1point

les 5 months ago

tell the doctors. you can ask to be knocked out since you got pain previously

0points

Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago

I had anesthesia for a cardioversion ( electrical shock to reset heart rhythm ) and woke up feeling so good and refreshed I asked if I could " take some of that stuff home ". The rely : " NO, that's the stuff that killed Michael Jackson. "

0points

Em Bee 5 months ago

Just before I went under for breast reduction surgery I asked my doctor, "Who carves the turkey at your house on Thanksgiving?"

0points

Some guy 5 months ago

In his autobiography, Ozzy Osbourne tells about his colonoscopy, when the doc had to give him dose after dose after dose of Demerol and it didn't even faze him, since he'd built such a tolerance to every drüg on the planet by then. If you get a chance to read it, his description is hilarious. (The book is called "I Am Ozzy!")

0points

Some guy 5 months ago

Immediately after I woke up from a hip replacement, a rad tech took a post-op X-ray of my hip. After she snapped the shot, I told her: "Sorry, I blinked."

0points

Salty_Sasquatch 5 months ago

Right before my foot surgery they asked one more time if I'd ever smoked marijuana, and I replied "Yes, I have, and I inhaled too!" (Right about the time Bill Clinton was denying inhaling marijuana.)

0points

Isabel Galvez 5 months ago

I looked at the lamp above me and said "If that's the last thing I ever see... it's so ugly, you should operate people outside".

0points

Alex Boyd 5 months ago

All I remember is being surprised that they had me transfer from the gurney to the operating table under my own steam. Also during the gurney ride to the OR I asked what they would do if I panicked and tried to run away.

0points

R Dennis 5 months ago

I was put under for a colonoscopy. When I woke up, my wife said the doctor told her I was a really funny guy. When I saw him, he said I was speaking Russian. I told him I don't speak Russian and he said "You do when you are sedated."

0points

R Dennis 5 months ago

Another time, I was having surgery and I had my stepkids in the room until I was sedated so they could see it wasn't scary. My oldest stepson said "And there it goes!" as he watched the d***s go through the iv line - that's all I remembered. Apparently though, as they were wheeling me from the room to the OR, I was saying "No mas tequila. No mas tequila."

0points

Tim Glutek 5 months ago

Once just before they put me out, I lifted my head off the operating table and said, "And the murderer is...".

0points

Jessica SpeLangm 5 months ago

what's with all the colonoscopy posts? now I refuse to get one.

0points

POST

Apatheist Account2 5 months ago

General anaesthetic is a wonderful invention.

21points

les 5 months ago

my last colonoscopy i wrote "i do not give you premission to share on youtube" above my ring. let me tell you, its really f*****g hard to write on your own a**e

14points

Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 5 months ago

As I was going under before my back surgery, I told the surgeon, "They should sell this s**t at Pink Floyd concerts."

13points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 5 months ago

Where's "im not smart enough to make a joke" on the poll?

8points

Jennifer Smith 5 months ago

My second surgery after the first one was botched I asked the doctor if he knew what he was doing. Right as I was going out I heard him say “don’t worry I looked it up on YouTube this morning “

7points

Julie S 5 months ago

You really can learn anything on YouTube

2points

Val 5 months ago

5points

Sedona 5 months ago

Is it common to put people under during colonoscopy? Because no one I know had it done unconscious.

3points

ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago (edited)

5points

TotallyNOTAFox 5 months ago

Here in Germany it seems quite common, I had two so far and always was knocked out - same going to happen with the next one

2points

jonesnori 5 months ago

2points

Becca not Becky 5 months ago (edited)

2points

Papa 5 months ago

I've had several. I'm mostly out of it, but definitely not all the way unconscious.

2points

Ghostpotato 5 months ago

I think it's standard procedure in the US

1point

les 5 months ago

it usually depends how deep they are going. mine are upper bowel so i get knocked out as they tried it under a local anasthetic and i felt everything

0points

Gg 5 months ago

2points

Kerry Borthwick 5 months ago

I cried when I was getting prepared for being put under I was so scared I was going die because I had a old lady telling me for hour how members of her family died being put under I was 28

2points

David Fox 5 months ago

I have Kidney disease so I get aot of hospital catheterisations and cystoscopies so I have F*CK tattooed above my p3nis on my pubic area.......always get a laugh from the surgical team.

2points

Sheba's Mum 5 months ago

2points

Aimee Cayer 5 months ago

1point

Rizzo 5 months ago

1point

Doodles1983 5 months ago (edited)

1point

Elisabeth Smith 5 months ago

1point

Some guy 5 months ago

My wife reacted similarly after her first colonoscopy. That's why propofol is nicknamed "milk of amnesia". (Plus it's white.)

0points

Edward Finger Hands 5 months ago (edited)

I do not react well to anesthesia at all, I wish I had cute stories about it lol

1point

Rick Seiden 5 months ago

1point

General Stukov 5 months ago

1point

Jan Dunn 5 months ago

1point

Captain Kyra 5 months ago

0points

Ghostpotato 5 months ago

I'm just jealous of all the people that got to sleep through their colonoscopies, I got the max dose of pain meds while I had mine done and it still hurt like f**k.

1point

les 5 months ago

tell the doctors. you can ask to be knocked out since you got pain previously

0points