ADVERTISEMENT

First the entire world went crazy about the British sense of humor. Then, there was good ol’ American comedy with brilliant stand-uppers. Russians are also notorious joke crackers that, let’s just say, may not be for everyone’s taste.

And here comes Scottish humor, which may in fact be one of the country’s finest exports. And no, we’re not talking comedy cellars—the perfect place for the Scots to crack their jokes is apparently, Twitter.

Yep, Scottish tweets are gloriously hilarious, like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and they seem to be a perfect blend of practicality, wisdom and notoriousness.

So no wonder there are 750k members and counting on the Scottish People Twitter subreddit, which offers the best selection of wisdom bites posted from the land of Scots. Check out what’s on the plate today right below, as well as our part 1.

#2

Armageddon On Thursday. Best Of Luck

Armageddon On Thursday. Best Of Luck

TrolleybusGus Report

In an earlier interview, Bored Panda spoke with one of the moderators, Reddit user Veloglasgow from r/ScottishPeopleTwitter, to get to know the content on their subreddit better. "Scots generally have a dark, dry, and direct sense of humor," they said. "Observational comedy where someone points out something that everyone accepts as day-to-day reality but which would be absurd to an outside observer also goes down well."

"Most posts that make it through the mod queue are representative, any posts that use 'fooken' or 'fecking' for fu*ken/fu*king are generally removed as no Scot hears how we say those words as that way phonetically," the moderator explained.

ADVERTISEMENT

Larry Dean, a Scottish stand-up comedian, believes that defining “Scottish” comedy is a really tough question. “First off, there’s the assumption that a nationally shared sense of humor exists at all,” he said and added “Is it really possible for five million people to make the same kind of jokes and find the same things funny?”

Larry continued: “if there’s one thing we Scottish like to laugh at, it’s ourselves. Which is useful when facing internationally reinforced caricatures every time we turn on the telly. (Think of Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons.)”

#8

Soon …

Soon …

jaredearle Report

Add photo comments
POST
JamezyJamez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a statue of the Duke of Wellington in Glasgow in front of the gallery of modern art. People continuously put a traffic cone or cones on the statue's head and it has become a tradition, though not encouraged by the authorities.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#9

Is Ur Brother Still A Vegetable?

Is Ur Brother Still A Vegetable?

mstrang96 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just lettuce assume he turniped from a human bean into a total spud muffin. But I carrot produce any rock salad evidence for that.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Moreover, “Being from the nation that’s credited with the invention of the deep-fried whatever, the man-skirt, and bad weather, I’d say we’re pretty good at taking a joke.”

Having said that, the comedian argues that the English have quite a similar sense of humor. “Many of my English friends are able to join me in a silly natter and I can’t recall ever withholding a joke because it was 'too Scottish,' or not getting one because it was 'too English.' There are hundreds of English comics and non-comics I adore for their own, inimitable styles of humor,” he explained.

#10

New Literacy Program In Glasgow

New Literacy Program In Glasgow

Michaeldrum Report

#11

The Dinnae Have Mouths

The Dinnae Have Mouths

scottishbean Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did she think the water was for, flowers just like a little swim? LOL

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#12

Making The Taxi Wait

Making The Taxi Wait

123_jamiebell Report

Plus, Larry believes that the “Scottish accent always seems to add a certain special something when placed amidst an otherwise English cast. Perhaps it’s a question of contrast: the ability of a distinctive voice to cut through the noise, to the chase, and tell it like it is,” he wondered.

ADVERTISEMENT
#13

Found The Culprit

Found The Culprit

DancingAndrovski Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nixxy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Notice they have no brain but they have a woman there. You can figure out what I am trying to say for yourselves.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#14

Hope Lynda Will Be Wearing Full PPE

Hope Lynda Will Be Wearing Full PPE

Geezso Report

#16

The Difference Between Cheshire And Scotland

The Difference Between Cheshire And Scotland

kellanpirie69 Report

#18

Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish

Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish

mariophjhbjjhghg Report

#19

Defnitly Gonna Steal Ur Willy

Defnitly Gonna Steal Ur Willy

ryankingg Report

Add photo comments
POST
Emmydearest
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was trying to understand how a bird could yell something to anyone, let alone to a bairn (i thought who wrote the thing mispelled 'barn') and then I got it... Sorry, Italian here...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#21

American's And The Scottish Accent

American's And The Scottish Accent

DaftLimmy Report

#22

HMS Kerry Newton

HMS Kerry Newton

deckchair1992 Report

#25

If It’s Any Higher Than 12 Degrees, It’s Taps Aff

If It’s Any Higher Than 12 Degrees, It’s Taps Aff

Sayers33 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely. This is the truth, we take off our cardigans if it went past 12 degrees.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger

Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger

trapeandovv Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#30

Sturgeon Must Resign

Sturgeon Must Resign

ThomasHaggarty1 Report

Add photo comments
POST
MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

only 4 months? i waited for year and 2 months, but at least mine looks much better :D

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
#31

Bengal Tiger Epidemic In Scotland

Bengal Tiger Epidemic In Scotland

PhilTheBard Report

#32

Santa Claus Is Coming To Toon

Santa Claus Is Coming To Toon

MarcFindlay98 Report

#33

People Make Glasgow

People Make Glasgow

SamueIConnor Report

Add photo comments
POST
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaaand THAT’S where they got that bigger heart…. (I’ll go quietly, I promise)…

View more commentsArrow down menu
#34

I Think Its Better If I Give No Context

I Think Its Better If I Give No Context

NubNooblet Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#36

Next He’ll Be Pishing Anywhere He Wants

Next He’ll Be Pishing Anywhere He Wants

Caffo11 Report

#37

Brilliant Sunset

Brilliant Sunset

harrism1701 Report

#42

I’ll Have A Kurger Bing X

I’ll Have A Kurger Bing X

madmentaldental Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#44

Chanks!

Chanks!

JordanJimmyKane Report

Add photo comments
POST
Lunar Bicycle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brain couldn’t decide between “have a good day” and “have a good one” so it settled for “have a goog dun.”

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#45

He Wants To Spread His Inferior Bieber Fever

He Wants To Spread His Inferior Bieber Fever

jai-phi Report

#47

The Most Asked Question When It Come To Independence

The Most Asked Question When It Come To Independence

jai-phi Report

Add photo comments
POST
#50

Joory Jooty

Joory Jooty

kathleenwho_ Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#52

Baldy Daddy

Baldy Daddy

meenmachimanja Report

Add photo comments
POST
Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BP's bad word blockers can't handle the amount of cussing in these Scottish tweets.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#53

Surprisingly Refreshing

Surprisingly Refreshing

weejobby Report

Add photo comments
POST
KJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody drinks Buckie for the taste, revolting stuff but gets you messed up.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#55

You'll Take The High Road And I'll Take The Low Road

You'll Take The High Road And I'll Take The Low Road

clearly_quite_absurd Report

#56

Greggs Temperature

Greggs Temperature

comedyray Report

#57

Normality Has Returned

Normality Has Returned

jai-phi Report

Add photo comments
POST
Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a photo of some daftie in Glesca sitting oot side having a meal the other day.

#58

I've Got Two If Anyone's Needing One

I've Got Two If Anyone's Needing One

arualrrek Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda