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40 Times People Got Threatened In Such Weird And Chaotic Way, It Was Actually Impressive (New Pics)
You know that feeling when you’re having a heated conversation, and you want so badly to come up with the perfect response, but your mouth just can’t seem to form the words? Your brain glitches for only a second, and suddenly you’ve missed your golden opportunity to craft the perfect insult or comeback because the moment has passed. Well, if you’d like to be prepared for the next time that opportunity arises, pandas, we might have the perfect article for you.
If you’re not familiar already, allow us to introduce you to the Rare Threats subreddit. This intimidating group is dedicated to sharing the most creative and brilliant threats the internet has ever seen, and you just might want to keep some of them in your back pocket for the next time you find yourself in a heated argument. From oddly specific to frighteningly ominous threats, this subreddit has it all, so enjoy scrolling through this list and be sure to upvote any rare threats you plan on utilizing in the future! And you better read them all, or I’ll hide all of your fruit in the oven and you won’t know until you preheat it for dinner then open it up to find blackened apples and bananas.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Found On R/Skyrimmods. Op Got Flamed For Asking A Basic (But Genuine) Question
Margaret H 2 years ago
And with a couple of golden retriever hairs at the right position to tickle our nose every time you breathe...
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A Bobcat From Philly 2 years ago
And may it have several unremovable lumps that kill you neck at 3 AM
Laura Williams 2 years ago
Well that made me laugh out loud. Such a unique revenge idea. Love it, is there anything more frustrating than not being able to get comfortable when trying to sleep.
RELATED:
#2
Spotted This Sign At My Local Community Garden
Panda-riffic 2 years ago
His character was so awesome! Another one of my favorites that he said: "If my dog had your face, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards". LOL
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Babsevs 2 years ago
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch, anday your arms be too short to scratch it!
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Or may those fleas infest your crotch the day after you break both arms
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A Bobcat From Philly 2 years ago
Dafuqe would you steal onions????? Not only are they cheap but they grow like bad weeds! (And I do love me some onions!)
#3
So That’s How I Died
A Fox Eating Waffles 2 years ago (edited)
Calcaneus, Capitate Bone, Carpal Bones, Cervical Vertebrae, Clavicle Or Collarbone, Coccyx, Cuboid Bone, Distal Phalanges, Ethmoid Bone, Femur, Fibula, Frontal Bone, Gladiolus, Hamate Bone, Hip Bone, Humerus, Hyoid Bone, Incus, Inferior Nasal Conchae, Intermediate Cuneiform Bone, Intermediate Phalanges, Lacrimal Bone, Lateral Cuneiform Bone, Lumbar Vertebrae, Lunate Bone, Malleus, Mandible, Manubrium, Maxilla, Medial Cuneiform Bone, Metacarpal Bones, Metatarsal Bone, Nasal Bone, Navicular Bone, Occipital Bone, Palatine Bone, Parietal Bone, Patella, Pisiform Bone, Proximal Phalanges, Radius, Ribs, Sacrum, Scaphoid Bone, Scapula Or Shoulder Blade, Sphenoid Bone, Stapes, Talus, Temporal Bone, Thoracic Vertebrae, Tibia, Trapezium, Trapezoid Bone, Triquetral Bone, Ulna, Vomer, Xiphoid Process, and Zygomatic Bone. There, did I miss anything?
Clown fish 2 years ago
And I kind of sang it to "I'm a very model of a modern major general" lol
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
How would that work and how would someone look after that?
oddly_informed_raven 2 years ago
that's the point. my friend and I were talking about this awhile back, the best threats are the ones that make the person stop and wonder how the he11 it would work
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Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
I could continue, but i only know the names in Portuguese só....
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The Rare Threats subreddit has been around since January 26, 2019, and it has already amassed an impressive 60k members, likely through its expert use of intimidation. This isn’t the first time we’ve featured the Rare Threats subreddit at Bored Panda, though. And lucky for us, the last time we covered the group, about four months ago, my colleague Jonas was able to get in touch with one of the sub’s moderators, Left4pillz.
Left4pillz was kind enough to provide some insight into how the group formed and what it has been like running it. Apparently, the post that started it all was a man’s bizarre threat to continue taping fish onto out-of-order ATMs until they were fixed. You can find that full post right here. That inspired the mods to create Rare Threats, and the group has only been growing ever since.
#4
Ok?
Raelene Christie 2 years ago
Oh my gosh this post gives me South African vibes!!?? Is that just me?!?!? Anyone?
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Chez2202 2 years ago
It wouldn’t just make my day, it would make my year.
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The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago
Ah yes, my pork chop panties can finally be used for something!
Michael Largey 2 years ago
How many times did they perform this experiment before posting their research?
Penguin2224 2 years ago
I think there is another part to thw gate to the left that is open in the picture.
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#5
🕳
Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago (edited)
That is exactly why we commit war crimes, or maybe start a war and begin using your powers as the dark lord while looking for a piece of jewellery
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
straight out of the mouth of that one D&D player who keeps doing stupid things.
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Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago (edited)
Gosh, the first bit is so true. I do like to think about all the ordinary people that lived in the places I’ve lived before. I think that’s what’s enjoyable about Ken Follett books, how you get to know how people lived hundreds of years before us. Well, this feels like a bit too much thinking this early in the day!
Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
Hmmm must think of doing something to make people tell stories of me to the end of Times, alas given my.personality it hás to be something stupid, funny, and memorable.
#6
Taste Buds
Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago
Once someone knocked into my arm while I played my favourite spotify song, and I accidentally skipped it. I don’t pay for spotify, so taht song comes rarely, and I can’t go back to it. My blood was absolutely boiling.
That Bi Book Lover 2 years ago
Make an album with that and another song, then play it a lot. Another free user here, we must bear the pain
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Kat Pekin 2 years ago
Tastebuds in the a*us would imply he's eating through his back door... but I don't want to make a*s-umptions here.
Tenement_Funster 2 years ago
No, it would mean that he would taste whatever is coming out of his backdoor
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Peter Trudell Jr 2 years ago
Note to future folks, we DO have taste buds in our a$$ and the rest of our digestive tract. They're not monitored by our brain the way those in our mouth/nose/throat are, but they do tell your brain important information about what you've eaten all the way down the line.
We also previously asked moderator Left4pillz about the challenges of managing the Rare Threats community, and they shared that the biggest difficulty is simply having enough time for the subreddit. "Between my job as a cycle courier, and the hobby of porting and recreating older video game maps for Pavlov VR, I don't really have much time to spend moderating here,” they told Bored Panda. “Thankfully, the report system makes it easy enough to see the posts that break the rules more easily without having to spend tons of time looking at every post.”
Left4pillz also shared what they personally believe makes for the best rare threats. They noted that creativity and brevity are always key, urging threat artists to avoid “[going] on for paragraphs.” Incorporating humor is also a plus, they added!
#7
Why Does It Always Involve Kneecaps
Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago
This exactly why kneecaps are a privilege and not a right
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
Now I'm scared and curious at the same time, but with respect to Eric and the safety of my kneecaps, I'll leave those sliders alone. Good day y'all XP
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago (edited)
Until you break / dislocate a kneecap (or elbow) , you will never know the answer. Personally, I'd have rather stapled my testicle to a chair than go through it.
Cpt. Robert Christian 2 years ago
And I thought the I.R.A. was mean when it came to kneecapping.
Wm Paul Robinson 2 years ago
Ditto. The French are using me as a guinea pig.
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Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
*pushes the slider with her tail* No one is allowed to hurt kittens. *purrs smugly*
#8
There Is No Worse Sin
Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago
And open a pack of Oreos in it after stomping on the packet until it’s crumbs
That One Quiet Kid 2 years ago
And eat 2 Taco Bell burritos with extra beans after crushing some Oreos into the carpet
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Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
That's a serious enough crime to warrant glitter in his vehicle's carpet.
Barbra E. Nyberg 2 years ago
My guy did something like that to his mom's cast iron pan. He will never be that stupid again.
Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago
Does he have " cast iron" imprinted in his skull?
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meow point1 2 years ago
I know I'll summon a swarm of ignorance-downvoters, but why is washing a skillet bad?
Whitefox 2 years ago
It's not that it's a skillet, it's that it's cast iron. Cast Iron develops a protective layer called seasoning. It causes the pan to be non-stick. Most can handle a little soap and water, but should avoid a heavy duty scrubbing as it will remove the coating. Also, the dishwasher will likely also not completely dry the cast iron allowing it to start rusting.
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DrGirlfriend 2 years ago
Oh God noooooooo. I've brought my cast iron Infront of entire family telling them if they soak or wet this pan I will unalive them with said pan.
Shayne Randlett 2 years ago
Aside from how wrong this is, you put one thing in the dishwasher and took a picture to brag? How the hell did you get a girlfriend?
#9
Tortilla Chip
LovingKnuckle 2 years ago
I had a roommate once that was always late on the rent. Even though they had a good job and could definitely afford. Just absent minded. Finally I said “look if you miss the rent one more time I am stealing all of your left shoes”. She had a weird day at work on the 2nd of the month.
Demolition Lover (He/him) 2 years ago
I hope you go to pull off a hangnail and it rips off a line of skin down your whole finger.
"Generally the best posts are threats/warnings that are found naturally, rather than ones made specifically for the sub,” Left4pillz previously told Bored Panda. “And in my opinion, the real best of the best ones are found in real life as they're typically much rarer, like these two," the mod said, referring to these hilariously threatening signs right here and here. And while it may be hard to spot rare threats such as these in real life, it seems to become easier and easier to find them online nowadays, considering that they can be found on any social media site and even other places online. And I have to admit, I’m extremely thankful for the unlimited content the sub has now. Although, I might be a bit frightened if I heard any of these threats directed at me…
#10
Organic Carrot
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
yeah. but I mean, when you think about it, that's their best weapon.
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What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago
Hades would be impressed by your dirty mind.
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Jessica J. 2 years ago
I prefer: "If you are smoking, we will assume you are on fire, and act accordingly."
Wm Paul Robinson 2 years ago
Me a bottle of beer. That was when I discovered I had problems with my carpel tunnels. Mind you its not the first time I've lost my grip.
Load More Replies... Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
Ah, thank God, " pummeled " i read something different the 1st time....
#11
Cheese?
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
No, a better way - which I did many, many years ago to an inconsiderate arsehole of a neighbour - is to buy a kipper or smoked mackerel and rub it through their air inlet grilles on the car ; it takes about a minute and the smell lasts forever, especially when its hot .... If you really want to ruin someone's car and life do this with Surstromming .... look it up, nasty, nasty stuff but surprisingly tasty with pickles and black bread !!
Rinso the Red 2 years ago
Cheese is for amateurs. Now bologna, that'll strip the paint right off. Leave it overnight and in the morning they've got polka-dot car
#12
Discord Discorse
That Bi Book Lover 2 years ago
Do that and I’ll show you that kneecaps are a privilege and not a human right /s
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Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago
Put in water and I’ll use your blood with condensed milk in mine (this is a joke)
Claire Bear 2 years ago
Milk, then cereal - it stays crunchy longer- then a wee bit double cream on top
Emma Kilcup 2 years ago
It honestly depends. If I get milk out first, milk is going in first, and the cereal isn't soggy and only gets wet when I want it to. If I get cereal out first, cereal is going in first, and I won't have to worry about overflow. Then when there is milk left in the bowl either way, I just dump more cereal on to save the milk. (Maybe I should learn to get out the bowl first, then I wouldn't make such mess eating...)
Olive Harper 2 years ago
Cereal in one bowl, milk in another. Take a handful of cereal and put it into the bowl of milk. Eat. Repeat. Doing it this way makes sure it doesn't get soggy.
Hiram's Friend 2 years ago
Worked with a woman who ate Rice Krispies with water and no sugar for lunch every day.
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CHOCCY MILK 2 years ago
Logically, the cereal should go in the bowl first. If the milk is put first, then it will splash everywhere when the cereal is put in.
As with anything in life, threats are more fun when executed with a bit of creativity and eloquence. Gone are the days of ending a threat with an ominous, “Or else…” We have evolved, and now we know that it might be even more effective to threaten to make someone’s skin vanish or to utilize very realistic fears like choking on a tortilla chip or getting shampoo in your eye. But while the Rare Threats subreddit may be only 4 years old, the act of using rare threats actually goes much further back. We can credit some of the best rare threats to the man who was a brilliant writer of comedies, tragedies and insults: Shakespeare.
#13
No Amount Of Dietary Fiber Could Make That Easy
A B C the Third 2 years ago (edited)
Question to be asked is: what did *the hedgehog* do to deserve this?
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Jill Bussey 2 years ago
I have heard it similarly, but with a pineapple. Stop cruelty to hedgehogs!
Phasmainmachina 2 years ago
A bit hard on the hedgehog, though there’s the implication that the target of the threat must have eaten a whole hedgehog first. Backwards…
#14
Interesting
Erica Ventura 2 years ago
I'll turn you into a pdf, export you back into a word doc and then pdf you AGAIN!
Raena Celis 2 years ago
Now that is scary. I've done that to a document and ruined the hell out of it
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KombatBunni 2 years ago
I should not laugh so hard while in public.. people will think I’m nuts
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
You're a Bored Panda. Of course you're nuts. We all are.
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#15
Imanuella 2 years ago
Even better to put him out where the sun is shining. Sun dried tomatoes are the best.
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too indesicive to choose name 2 years ago
These are making me laugh too much, and it's disturbing the snoozing kitty on my lap.
That One Quiet Kid 2 years ago
I grew up watching Veggietales and this made me laugh way harder than it should have
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Some people would love to turn all of the Veggie Tales characters into gazpacho
Kevin J. Henning 2 years ago
I'd like to take the person who invented "Veggie Tales" and stick their private parts in a food processor.
Shakespeare might be better known for his insults, such as, “Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!” But he was also a master of the rare threat. For example, “By this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.” And, “I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o’er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways.” They may be mouthfulls, but they’re certainly effective. Some of my other personal favorites are, “Your hearts I’ll stamp out with my horse’s heels and make a quagmire of your mingled brains.” And, “I will beat thee into handsomeness.” And finally, “I’ll spurn thine eyes like balls before me! I’ll unhair thy head! Thou shalt be whipped with wire and stewed in brine, smarting in lingering pickle!”
#16
Last Place I Expected To Find A Rare Threat Like This Was In Anime
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
yes, this can't not be stolen, this is flipping amazing lol
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#17
2 For 1
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Mine too. I seem to have suddenly developed an aversion to nail clippers
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Demolition Lover (He/him) 2 years ago
I will carefully remove every vein from your body and feed them to you like a plate of spaghetti.
OhnoI’vebeencensored 2 years ago
I don't think nail clippers would do the job. Better use bolt cutters. There, fixed it for you! Also: nyangg :-[
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
As a middle aged woman that has eaten Wasabi Ice Cream, I can confirm you will never be the same again.
A Wild Bean 2 years ago
This is my worst nightmare. If I so much as accidentally bite a fork, I'm painfully uncomfortable for at least ten minutes.
#18
“You Put A Block Of Cream Cheese In A Casserole Dish, I’ll Put One On Your F***ng Tombstone”
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
Oh wow this is so easy, this is gonna be so good y'all, you start with 2 sticks of butter and this block of cream cheese, you're gonna love it!
Fxnglhl 2 years ago
plus a block of velveta/american ''cheese'', a bunvh of heavy whipping cream and uncooked pasta
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best turtle 2 years ago
i watched a couple make a casserole out of big macs, McChickens, cottage cheese, french fires, SYRUP, and 3 packs of american sliced cheese. please stop letting these people make this s**t
One famous character of Shakespeare’s who was a master of the rare threat was Prospero in The Tempest. One threat he gives Ariel, a spirit servant of Prospero’s, is, “If thou more murmur’st, I will rend an oak and peg thee in his knotty entrails till thou hast howled away twelve winters.” Prospero also threatens Caliban, his slave, with, “If thou neglect’st or dost unwillingly what I command, I’ll rack thee with old cramps, fill all thy bones with aches, make thee roar that beasts shall tremble at thy din.”
And finally, Prospero threatens Ferdinand, his soon-to-be son-in-law that if he sleeps with his daughter before the wedding, “No sweet aspersion shall the heavens let fall to make this contract grow, but barren hate, sour-eyed disdain, and discord shall bestrew the union of your bed with weeds so loathly that you shall hate it both.”
#19
I Don’t Know A Title
waddles 2 years ago
when i was eight i spilled glitter. i still found glitter everywhere months later when i had MOVED TO A NEW HOUSE
Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago (edited)
Honestly, the threatener is in the right. I'd do the same if someone said DEAD AND GEORGE (referring to Harry Potter, if you haven't read the seventh book, I'm sorry)
Deutschland Mädchen 2 years ago
I read those books ages ago and it's still TOO SOON
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#20
Edit
Catman (He/Him) 2 years ago (edited)
Oh really? (Edited: spelling) fine. Dear saxophone, now it is edited.
Load More Replies... Laura Williams 2 years ago
Lol. I guess the first person was asking for too much much from second.
#21
He Is Truly In Danger
VidGam4 2 years ago
Lemme just say that, as an orchestra kid, that part at least is definitely true
too indesicive to choose name 2 years ago
As a band kid, no we're not that cool. We're just weird, loud nerds.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago (edited)
I'm a choir and band kid and I'm an introvert who's embarras3d to sing alone and also incredibly cool
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
Band kids are actually pretty cool. Smart, motivated, more likely to do well in school and go on to college. Conversely, the kids who think they're cool are usually jerks.
Obviously, on paper, threatening others is not really a great skill to have. But when it’s done in a comedic way by someone who does not actually have any harmful intent, threats can be enjoyed like clever jokes or even poetry. And if you’re interested in crafting some of your own rare threats, it might be best to think about niche fears that your target has. If your roommates keep stealing your food, perhaps you can put a label on your products threatening to put anything they steal in their beds or write, “If you eat this without asking me, I will tell the cute barista that you like that you got arrested for stealing donuts from the grocery store.” Something along those lines, feel free to get creative.
#22
Gummy Bears
Dragons Exist 2 years ago
There's a story on r/nosleep similar to this excerpt the bones are replaced by millions of bugs :)
#23
Salting Someone's Liver
Laura Williams 2 years ago
Well psycho is very accurate he needs some mental health care and I'm bipolar with a very dark sense of humor.
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
I really hope this isn't directed at a woman holding a pizza without a top, cause that what it sounds like and this post makes me hate the poster
#24
Average Threat From My Friend
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
That's where I thought this was going at first...
Load More Replies... Jessica J. 2 years ago
They missed the perfect addition: "I hope you end up living in Lego City, and they outlaw shoes!"
Heather Talma 2 years ago
If it's the one from Lego City Adventures, I'm already dying to move there, so
While rare threats can be found anywhere, there are some brilliant ones that have been featured in films. In They Live, John Nada utters the famous line, “Put on those glasses or start eating that trash can.” In Anchorman, Ron Burgundy states the threat, “I’m going to punch you in the ovary. That’s what I’m going to do. Straight shot. Right to the baby maker.” And in Gangs of New York, Daniel Day Lewis, as Bill “The Butcher” Cutting, threatens, “You see this knife? I’m going to teach you to speak English with this f****** knife!”
#25
Delicious
Wm Paul Robinson 2 years ago
Muesli, sawdust, cat litter, is there a difference?
Load More Replies... Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
You gest but lol, i'v seen something similar happen, a joke between coworkers ( for context, we have a fish here callled " gaiado " and its supose to be dried, and later hidrated and coocked, texture and taste are very similar to tunna, but its a lot darker, almost Pine tree bark color, and then its coocked with an onion and other herbs sauce ) now i Also worked in a carpentry/lumber Mill.... Só need i say more lol...
Thomas Bentley 2 years ago
I believe, as I eat cornflakes and cream exclusively, there would be no change in the ratio.
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#26
It's Finger Licking Good
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
uhh..... I mean it wouldn't be THAT bad if I could watch them eat my dirty fingernails........
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＼(ω)／ kpop lover＼(ω)／ 2 years ago
I cant tell if this is talking about a “.” Or a monthly thing
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
When I was in 6th grade, this girl would harass me and my friends and even sent one of them to the hospital. Teachers never intervened. I had wished to kidnap her, flay her fingers, make soup from her skin and blood and force feed it to her while carmelizing her toe nails with a car battery.
Rodney McKay 2 years ago
I hope VeryClaireThompson then force-feeds that soup to TheRetroToad instead of consuming it herself.
#27
Low-Key Making Me Hungry
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
Sounds like Gearbox Soup (Google Sup Gearbox) but I'll take the original version over this XP
Are you feeling like you’ve mastered the art of rare threats, pandas? Whether or not you plan to utilize any of these in the future, we hope you’ve enjoyed scrolling through them and learning just how creative people can get with threats. Threatening is an art form, really. Keep upvoting your favorites, and feel free to let us know your best rare threats in the comments below. Then, if you’re interested in checking out even more threat inspiration, you can find Bored Panda’s last article featuring this intimidating subreddit right here!
#28
Ah Hell Nah Not The Michal Jackson Plastic Nose
Tan Artt 2 years ago
Really? I was just confused :( they were so polite about it
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Your Local Slytherin 2 years ago
Why is no one talking about the fact the up and down votes are pixel hearts
Ice Cream and OJ 2 years ago
No one may diss the cuddly fluffy boi. If anyone dares speak of Ralsei in such a manner in my presence again I will personally see to it that they have their bedsheets stuffed with raw chicken breast and all their clothing covered with peanut butter.
#29
Clash Of Clans Gets Serious On War Day
The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago
Does windshield wiper fluid help burn calories any faster? Asking for a friend.
A Bobcat From Philly 2 years ago
It seems that according to maxi pad commercials, Women are already full of windshield washer fluid.
Shira Blumberg 2 years ago
Look, your stomach lining is really strong. It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference.
#30
Make It Stop
#31
I Thought Cereal With Water Was Strange, But This
Kiss Army 2 years ago
As I am reading this, I am sitting here eating donut holes with a fork. I am at work and the glaze is sticky and I don't want to get my keyboard and paperwork sticky...
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
I eat most things with a fork.🤣 I don't like to get my fingers dirty and I sure as f**k won't lick them after I'm done.
Load More Replies... waddles 2 years ago
when i was four i routinely sliced a donut into seven pieces and ate them with a fork
Shira Blumberg 2 years ago
Seven? That’s psychopath behavior. It’s not even an even number!!
Load More Replies... Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Spoon and a lighter then squeeze it into a vein for that true sugary goodness
nidasdottir Mac 2 years ago
People with a great aversion to sticky fingers eat doughnuts with a fork.
Turd Ferguson 2 years ago
Was low-key hoping they would call the person a donut lol I watch too much Gordon Ramsay
Daycare Attendant Sun 2 years ago
I eat most things with a fork or spoon. I work in front of my computer, or play my Switch, and I don't want to get my electronics, especially my phone, dirty. It also helps that I work in a hospital. No matter how much I was and sanitize my hands, I'm always worried.
Jessica J. 2 years ago
My mom would do this...she eats pizza, french fries, and hamburgers with a fork...
#32
The It Customer Services Guy 😳. (Credit To My Friend)
#33
The People I Have To Deal With (Jk I Love Them)
What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago
thanks to you there is piping hot tea burning the 7 layers of my skin 1 by 1. Ngl it kinda smells like chicken in here now.
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#34
Here's A Threat That Doesn't Involve Kneecaps
Zane Lumagrowl 2 years ago
My go-to is always "I will install League of Legends on all of your devices"
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Laura Williams 2 years ago
No don't do that I'll lose all my experience in game. Why would you do that. Better to do something with knee caps. Lol.
#35
Oh- Oh My
Laura Williams 2 years ago
Well that would be unpleasant for both. Why would you c**p yourself.
#36
Baked Beans
#37
Crock Pot
Rodney McKay 2 years ago
I will lock you in a room with a toilet containing bleach, and when you pee the ammonia in it will mix with the bleach and release chloramine gas and your lungs will scream.
#38
Mmm Gas
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
And I'm gonna leave your front door ajar, so every time the wind blows your security system starts beeping like crazy.
Daycare Attendant Sun 2 years ago
I have propane. This would ruin me financially. And probably unalive me.
#39
I Found This In R/Teenagers
666Slay.Com 2 years ago
Oh I love radium! Now hand it over so I can sit and let my mouth cave in over a sharp 8 month period of suffering leading to death
Rodney McKay 2 years ago
A skinned rat doesn't sound too bad. I'd go for a porcupine, not skinned.
#40
An Interesting Title
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
Note to self: Pick up goat's blood, lizard eyes, nightshade and a Goodyear for the next summoning ritual XP
Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago
Feel free to come to mine to get some!
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Shifty McFlea 2 years ago
Great insult and the use of tone tags makes me happy but wHy 77 unreads?!?!?
#41
Feeling Awfully Sluggish
#42
A Short But Rare Threat
#43
Waffle House
waddles 2 years ago
i’ve seen “waffle house has found its new host” so many times and i still have no idea what it means
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
It means nothing. It’s a meme that YouTuber Jonny RaZeR claims he started. He allegedly implored viewers to fill the site’s comment section with the phrase. From there, it jumped onto TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media.
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Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
Wait. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo or Shaggy the rapper? Because I feel like those two dudes have somewhat different self-soiling threshholds.
#44
Found On The Oatmeal. About “Gif”… You Know What Happened
#45
Vroom Vroom
#46
Skin
#47
Stimcky
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
yeah, but the problem is, some people already like to fill themselves with peanut butter.
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#49
The Second Name In Question Is ‘Fournier’ Btw
#50
Lung Cancer
#51
Thorax Arson
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Should have gone with I will slap you with the a**e end of a diahoretic hamster
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
hahahaha oh man I'm stealing that for darn sure!!
Load More Replies... #52
Medium Rare Or Well Done ?
What_the_actual_sloth? 2 years ago
idk if ur being sarcastic or not but it looks like it's pọrnhub... do not go on it...
Load More Replies... #53
(Context Break My Face Is A Song And I Insulted A Different Song)
Alex and definitely not Sauron 2 years ago
Break my face is good. Also do not consume shoes, talking on experience
Cyber Returns 2 years ago (edited)
Seasoning. That's the key. Ground black pepper, sea salt, thyme, finely chopped onions and crushed garlic, 1 clove for up to size 6, 2 for size 7 upwards, and cook slowly. Remember to remove the laces
Load More Replies... #54
Aggressively Unique
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Old Roadie 2 years ago
"Hope you get a socially unacceptable, painfully itchy, randomly bleeding rash on your a*s." That's my go-to insult.
meow point1 2 years ago
Reminds me of the kids book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day, which has this threat: "I hope you sit on a tack! I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice cream cone, the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia!"
Bxxklxver 2 years ago
Yes. And not your own urine, I hope it was the dog from next door's.
Load More Replies... Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
"I'm going to suck out your eyes and use them as earplugs to block out your squealing as I headbutt you into a fine paste." - Bernard Black, Black Books
Foxes forever! 2 years ago
I am going to make my own… “I will break into your house and unplug your lamp!”
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
I like a pirate insult, "I'll sever the tendons behind your knees, roll you up in squid guts, and throw you to the sharks" Credit: the Harbingers Series
Zane Lumagrowl 2 years ago
I think my favorite creative threat is "I will tie you to a hot air balloon and set you free"
Old Roadie 2 years ago
"Hope you get a socially unacceptable, painfully itchy, randomly bleeding rash on your a*s." That's my go-to insult.
meow point1 2 years ago
Reminds me of the kids book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day, which has this threat: "I hope you sit on a tack! I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice cream cone, the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia!"
Bxxklxver 2 years ago
Yes. And not your own urine, I hope it was the dog from next door's.
Load More Replies... Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago (edited)
"I'm going to suck out your eyes and use them as earplugs to block out your squealing as I headbutt you into a fine paste." - Bernard Black, Black Books
Foxes forever! 2 years ago
I am going to make my own… “I will break into your house and unplug your lamp!”
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
I like a pirate insult, "I'll sever the tendons behind your knees, roll you up in squid guts, and throw you to the sharks" Credit: the Harbingers Series
Zane Lumagrowl 2 years ago
I think my favorite creative threat is "I will tie you to a hot air balloon and set you free"
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