hehehe 😈 excellent!

Proof that vegetarians aren't necessarily docile - or weak.

It would be a lot more interesting though

Dad here. Yes, but probably because mom started in September (!) and, by when I joined (after the Spanish Constitution day on the 6th of December, which seams reasonable to me) she already had done all the job. Isn't that dirty playing?

*forwarding to the boss* 😏

Note to self: slow down.

Now reverse them?

unfortunatly that's what Alzheimer's is like

Every Saturday

It's so freaking weird to fetishize udders, I'll never understand hairless apes

And learn to play the recorder. 🤔

Me

This is so true, I threw my back out putting keys in my pocket

These are my favorite!

This November will be 10 years since I’ve given up on Facebook, and Friendster & MySpace before it. I deleted Twitter when the trust fund Dunning-Kruger incel bought it. I keep Insta, but only occasionally photodump. As with BP, I never, ever go back to read comments or replies. It turns out I stay in much better contact with my core group of friends & spend exponentially more time with them in person than I did when using the socials. It’s too easy to think of Facebook scrolling, posting & commenting as maintaining healthy interactions. I feel and am so much closer to my people without online interactions.

Been on them for 2 years.. I'd rather have peace & quiet in my mind and be able to function day-to-day.

fireworks-...f1-png.jpg

It's the plants own fault they die under my care. Mini dino starts screeching and reenacting Jurassic Park when I don't water her, and plants just sit there, wilting

For me it was actually unmedicated ADHD.

Yes! I can live my best life while laying on my couch!

First person is asking for a pic in the bath and she should be the weird one?

Like trump's concept of a health care plan.

love this

I bet your toddler WAS impressed!

Googly eyes are the best and they always make me smile wherever they appear

I've seen this before. Here's the rest: Boss: Do you think that was appropriate? Employee: Yes.

Love self checkout coz in line ups people get slow and stupid

“Just change the shoes and everyone think they’re different”

Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.

I couldn’t understand the watermelon ones. Or the lemon/chocolate ones. I find that combo revolting. Funny enough that was my best friend’s wedding cake flavor.

Spike Milligan wanted "I told you I was ill" put on his headstone. It wasn't allowed so he had "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" put instead. Same thing but in Gaelic.

Whats the last thing that went through their head?

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA

two weeks? amateur.

Damn Dana! Who hurt you? Yikes!

Show is called Yellowjackets for anyone wanting to know.

You can file a civil tort for any claim of wrongdoing by another individual. Tho, there are varied punitive actions for filing frivolous lawsuits.

Wait...who is watching me cook??

I have plans with my dog.

So they have a place to hide all of their many snacks. Which they inevitably forget about. Which then go bad and ruin the washing machine and clump together of course.

Haven't had rotatoes in a while... I could go for some right about now.

Auto-reply every Tuesday.

I mostly use Google Maps to see how long does it take to get to work... Where I've been for the last three years.

Oh no! Your magenta is now low. I will not print B&W without magenta.

This feels very British.

Oooh, I could use some Bugles just about now.

Poor cat - that is so sad.

Would be the equivalent of injecting speed into one arm, and horse tranquilizer in the other?