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For the modern person, always in need of constant stimulation and validation, the good old private diary is no longer enough. Every questionable, chaotic, and unhinged personal thought can be quickly pushed onto the unsuspecting public, regardless of how they feel about it.

So here is a collection of posts from X (formerly tweets from Twitter) that showcase all the funniest personal thoughts people perhaps should have kept to themselves. Get comfortable before you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorites. And if you are feeling inspired, share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. 

#1

God Has Protected Me

God Has Protected Me

zzill6 Report

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I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/she/he)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amen brother! It's like a meme I've seen a few times. God will give us all we need, but don't expect it to come to you like a special object in a video game, hovering above the table with a ring of light around it. When-the-H...50aac1.jpg When-the-Holy-Spirit-has-given-you-everything-651d26d50aac1.jpg

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#3

Why Stop There?

Why Stop There?

DaFunkJunkie Report

#4

Fake Number

Fake Number

DaFunkJunkie Report

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François Bouzigues
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, the first one is a good advice. And knowing someone is giving you a wrong number instead of guessing should lead you to : a)abandon further interaction with said person b)investigate what you did to make her feel that way and try to be a better / more interesting / less creepy person.

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#5

Some People Change

Some People Change

MattVekakis Report

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Jeremy James
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Southern Baptist MIL has gone from pretending that I don't exist, (even to my face,) to occasionally asking about me and referring to me as, "that guy you live with." It's honestly a step in the right direction and it only took 20 years.

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#7

Dead Malls

Dead Malls

ExpertAccident Report

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ThatCapybara
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve ALWAYS thought this! Make this happen 100%, it can work with other abandoned buildings too

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#9

"It Just Wont Work" It Actually Does

"It Just Wont Work" It Actually Does

Maxonsdad Report

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Solidhog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, the UK is holding on by it's fingertips at the moment and it's really only the doctors and fantastic nurses in the hospitals holding it together at the moment.

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#10

This Dad Has One Great Son

This Dad Has One Great Son

ModeratorForLeaks Report

#11

Wow. Medical Debt Causes Divorce For Married Couple Of 52 Years

Wow. Medical Debt Causes Divorce For Married Couple Of 52 Years

TruthToPower77 Report

#12

Basics Of Billionaires …

Basics Of Billionaires …

itsJeffTiedrich Report

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Marno C.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shhhhh,,,,,, Let the billionaires blast themselves into space. While they're gone, it's a great chance to unionize.

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#13

Management

Management

mattwallaert Report

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rullyman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should be giving everyone on the team a raise equivalent to the managers salary divided amongst them

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#14

There Is No Such A Thing As Teacher Shortage

There Is No Such A Thing As Teacher Shortage

Active-Ad-233 Report

#15

No Narcs

No Narcs

TheDrewRap Report

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Dekker451
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Disturbing costumers"? So they were disturbing people whose job it is to maintain and dress actors in the wardrobe of a movie, TV show or play?

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#16

I Wholeheartedly Approve

I Wholeheartedly Approve

jessevondoom Report

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Marno C.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Especially if he leads the way and takes his bestest, mostest friends with him. We'll give him.... uh... a special trophy or NFT of a trophy or something to memorialize his special leadership.

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#17

Why Are It Guys Such D**ks?

Why Are It Guys Such D**ks?

Bigringcycling Report

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Dekker451
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much this. Usually, when someone says the IT guy is "being a d**k" what that really means is they're asking basic questions to cover all the bases because they've been thru that kind of sh1t before, but the person being asked decided to take it as an insult to their intelligence.

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#18

Burn It All Down….m4a Now

Burn It All Down….m4a Now

orchid_breeder Report

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Edward Finger Hands
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an emergency surgery this year. I pay almost $500 a month for my insurance. It still cost me nearly $10,000. With insurance!! Without insurance, the surgery was almost 125k. Absolutely outrageous.

Cassie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hospitals in the US have grant and charitable programs for needy patients. They don't have to disclose this anywhere and you often have to specifically ask. I don't know why doctors do not educate themselves on their hospital's practices to help their patients out.

leetokofi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they give this to everyone, big bosses won't be able to afford big yatchs.....there is that... probably have a gate keeper who will decline everything unless it makes the hospital look good

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Sherman Von Gee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See my comment in the above post about the parents having to get divorced. I'm in the same fucken boat right now. & my husband & I make okay money... not great. But more than some. & we still can't afford s**t. We always say "how the f**k do ppl survive on salaries of $20k or even $60k when even ppl making more than that are struggling.

Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I just found that our financial responsibility for the IVF that our fertility specialist is recommending (the only way we have a chance to carry a child to term) is just north of $8,500. That's just for the actual procedure, not including the additional consultation or facility fees or any follow ups or post-procedure care that may be required. The kicker? Our insurance "covers" it. A whopping.... $200 out of their pocket.

April Porter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This works with car insurance also. I drove a car for 2 years with a smashed in passenger side because I couldn't afford the $1,000 deductible to get it fixed.

Sandy D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Last novemberI broke my pelvis in 2 pl.aces, and my arm / wrist bad enough I needed surgery.. I almost said no, but it would have healed with little movement and lots of pain. I have insurance, but had to jump thru hoops, so to speak, to get my induce company to agree to let me use their charity discount. Even with that I ended up having to pay much more than I could afford. Had to put most on credit and will be paying for it for a long time.

Maggie Marrelli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband just had shoulder surgery and we didn't pay a dime. Canada's health care system isn't perfect, but it is still pretty great.

EvilNob
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor guy should travel abroad and get the same op for waaaay less money.

Strega Nonna
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story repeats itself over and over in this country. The only difference is that the people are different. It's egregious.

Nikki Haines
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eventually he will receive disability payments that we will all pay for. Universal healthcare helps us all.

Admiralu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know the feeling. And I'm sure insurance would try to deny him the procedure.

leendadll
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. Both knees have needed replacement for well over 10 years. I can't cover the $6800 annual deductable. Keep getting close then downsized out of jobs.

The Short Lady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doc should waive his fee. It's only part, but it would show good faith

Terry Tobias
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was hospitalized in a prestigious medical center in my city because I was suicidal, the attending psychiatrist waived his fee because I didn't have insurance. A social worker helped me to get Medicaid to pay for the hospital. I never would have been able to pay the doctor and I still think about how kind he was to do that for me!

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Duane Johnston
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then he has s**t insurance because I spent 12 days in ICU and it cost me $550

Brian Kohlhase
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should have told you he was an illegal alien, they would have done all the surgery for free.

David
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

While this is sad, Brian is part of the problem. The surgeon, the anesthesiologist etc all charge a S**T TON of money to do their jobs in the USA. It's why quite a few Americans needing an expensive surgery turn it into a 'vacation' and travel to some other country where the surgery plus the air travel plus the hotel all add up to "I saved a bunch of money"

Astrophile
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not the doctors and anesthesiologists deciding the insurance prices for procedures. You’re thinking of the executives, AMA etc (if we’re talking about the US).

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#19

People Are Morons

People Are Morons

adamhillscomedy Report

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Phoebe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you know they’d low-key be arrested but oh well maybe they was makin a cuppa

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#22

I’d Like To See It

I’d Like To See It

MessyGuy01 Report

#23

This Tweet Is So Accurate

This Tweet Is So Accurate

Tarshorri Report

#24

Do Taxes Have To Be This Complicated?

Do Taxes Have To Be This Complicated?

dilettantedebrah Report

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Kristy Marion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t get the US system. Is it not taken out weekly for salaried employees? Are there not tax brackets?

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#27

Let’s Tell The Whole Truth

Let’s Tell The Whole Truth

reddit.com Report

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Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently our major supermarkets staff are having a strike this coming weekend and Friday. Record inflation after record profits and no pay raises for the workers expected along with their customers to survive paying even more for groceries after a record profits year. Good for the workers, strike away, I'm joining them by only buying at local markets and small family owned grocers for the duration and maybe if the big supermarkets do the right thing, maybe, I'll come back for the sake of my fellow working class battlers.

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#28

Lol 🤣

Lol 🤣

stevanzetti Report

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Dekker451
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#30

But I'll Still Tell Him

But I'll Still Tell Him

ModeratorForLeaks Report

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Marno C.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God bless Tyler. He's doing his best and probably texting his girlfriend the whole time, too.

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#31

Beware

Beware

Bossloper Report

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Marno C.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember the old days when kings would ride off into battle, leading the charge of their lords and noblemen? Lets try that again but include corporate executives since they are sort of the modern aristocracy now. Pay per view it, even.

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#32

Literally No One

Literally No One

ajfoucault Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember people saying they felt like the Jewish people during WWII and if this isn't the peak of being privilidged then I don't know what is (i.e. when you have it so good that oblidgated to uphold medical advice makes you feel oppressed like a people being eradicated during a world war).

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#34

One Of The Evils Of Capitalism Involves Punishing People For Helping Others Or Showing Charity

One Of The Evils Of Capitalism Involves Punishing People For Helping Others Or Showing Charity

reddit.com Report

#35

Things Have Changed

Things Have Changed

JacobAShell Report

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The Scout
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, yes, the middle class life... A German politician in the not so distant past described himself as "middle class" while owning a private plane and making 1.5 millon a year. So it comes down to a matter of definition.

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#36

Oooooffff

Oooooffff

MountainSage58 Report

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Dekker451
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the same guy who thinks he knows enough about programming to micromanage the people who are trying to develop self-driving technology for him.

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#37

Ancient Greece Wasn't Gay

Ancient Greece Wasn't Gay

Appointment-Funny Report

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Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you're so uneducated, you don't realise how uneducated you are ☹️

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