That same poll by Preply we mentioned previously also asked people what phrases they deem to be the most passive-aggressive. Most respondents said that hearing things like "You're too sensitive," "Why are you getting so upset?" and "No offense, but..." trigger them the most. Shifting blame on someone else and being judgmental or patronizing seems to rub people the wrong way the most.

The workplace is where most Americans experience passive aggression. 73% of the respondents in the Preply survey said so, yet, at the same time, 52% admitted being passive-aggressive themselves. The most annoying phrases coworkers and managers use are "As you are no doubt aware...," "For future reference," and "Friendly reminder."

In her book Getting Along, workplace expert Amy Gallo identified eight types of 'difficult' people. Interestingly, passive-aggressive people ranked as the number one worst. "They'll appear to comply with the needs of others, but will then passively resist following through. Or they might use indirect methods to express their thoughts and feelings, so their intentions are never entirely clear," she writes.

For many, coworkers are the most passive-aggressive people they communicate with. But others also experience passive-aggressive behaviors from family members and friends. 18% of the respondents in the Preply survey said that their mothers are the people who usually talk to them in a passive-aggressive manner. For 16%, it was their friends.

We sought to find out why people engage in passive-aggressive behavior, so we reached out to certified personal coach Karen Edwards. She explains that for those who do it, snarky comments and indirect communication seem like the safest way to communicate.

"They may fear direct conflict and hope that subtle hints will lead to change without confrontation," she explains. "Some believe they're still 'kind' as long as they don't use harsh words, even if their tone or actions convey frustration."

People may also resort to passive-aggressive comments when they don't know how to express their needs and emotions effectively. "Passive-aggressive behavior provides a layer of plausible deniability—they can always claim they didn't mean anything by it since they never explicitly said it," Edwards explains.

Karen Edwards says that passive-aggressiveness is survival-driven. She describes it as a safety mechanism that feels comfortable in the moment, but "ultimately leads to self-sabotage."

"It prevents you from developing the ability to feel and express emotions in a healthy way and damages relationships by creating confusion—your words say one thing, but your energy communicates something else," the personal coach points out.

One way to battle your own passive-aggressive behavior is with mindfulness. As Karen points out, it reminds us that we're more than just our survival brain. "It allows you to observe your thoughts, recognize reactive patterns, and make intentional choices rather than defaulting to passive-aggressive behaviors," the personal coach says. "By practicing mindfulness, you gain the ability to respond with clarity and authenticity instead of letting fear or discomfort dictate your actions."

Passive-aggressive communication can put a serious strain on our relationships. That's why Karen has some tips on how to communicate honestly and respectfully. That way, expressing frustrations can strengthen relationships instead of causing tension. 

First, she suggests using 'I' statements. "Express your feelings without blame. For example, instead of saying, 'You never clean up,' say, 'I feel frustrated when the kitchen is messy because it makes it harder for me to cook.'"

Have you ever heard of the 'Count to 10 before you respond' rule? It works pretty well in this case, too. Karen says that pausing and processing is important if we want to communicate with people honestly. When you're not reacting impulsively, the conversation is bound to go in a more constructive direction.

When you're feeling frustrated, empathize with the other person. "Consider why they might be acting a certain way," Edwards tells Bored Panda. "Understanding their perspective can help you approach the situation with curiosity rather than frustration."

She also recommends being clear and direct. Not stating your needs and expecting the other person to "just know" is what gets passive-aggressive people in trouble in the first place. "Clear communication reduces misunderstandings," Karen says.

It's also about how you say things; opt for a calm or a neutral tone. A raised tone of voice makes the other person defensive, instantly souring the conversation. Complaints also never helped anybody, so try offering some solutions. "Instead of only pointing out a problem, suggest a way forward," Karen explains. "For example, 'Can we set a schedule for chores?' instead of 'You never help around the house.'"

Another golden rule here is to pick your battles. Know the right time and place to address the issues that are bothering you, but do so when both you and the other person are in a receptive state.

Being on the receiving end of a passive-aggressive text or note surely does suck. But we can't deny that sometimes, people get pretty creative with their passive-aggressive jabs. Let us know which ones from this list you liked the most, Pandas. And don't forget to check out another one of our lists where people were hilariously passive-aggressive to each other!