True story. Yesterday one of my snails escaped the aquarium and I found it two rooms away by the front door. That's some serious snailing.

good response

Oh god

Our kids are 18 months apart (both surprises after 7 years of trying). So I remember the stressful days when I would tell my husband my belly was upset just to get 15 minutes alone in the bathroom haha. It became a big joke between us when the kids would create a huge mess and we would both claim diarrhea and race to the bathroom lmao!

is there a reason you wrote this at 2 am?

that's very realistic, since baby Yoda is cute and well behaved <3

Skittlezzzzzzzzzzzz! Give meh all da skittlezzzzzzzzzzzz

I mean duh. Like who uses their hands anymore, eyebrows all the way!

Blood actually may taste kinda spicy ... I always liked my own one's taste. Or ... what exactly lead to this name?

So we CAN cancel Mondays.

Favorite Dorito!?

so true

I am imagining that the snack supplies disappear somehow

I think that's where the "MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM" yell came from while I was eating breakfast

geometry is easier

Truth. And that is coming from a young teen with 2 small siblings

You mean hoodies? I've only worn hoodies since I was 13. I'm almost 42.

Lmao

That's marketing for you :)

There was this kid in my class in primary school. his hands were always sticky and always thought i was some sort of jam or something. turns out he covered his hands in glue.

"Because I said so" never was anywhere near a sufficient explanation. Never!

He's ready for college

Seems like daddy has got some problems.

but we can play or eat

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The first 5 lines were misleading, but than it became clear he was talking about his own toddler.

ok now i really want to know why...

Why was she in your room in the first place? As a kid, my parent's room was some kind of "sacred" space, I'd never go there even if it wasn't forbidden whatsoever. It was just... a room I don't go in.

ruined the moment perfectly