The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes)

If you cringe hard every time you hear dad jokes, this list might not be for you… However, if you enjoy this type of humor and make yourself comfortable, as a boy, do we have a treat for you today?

Collected from the gold mine that is the ‘Dad Jokes’ subreddit, these jokes ought to make the hall of fame of puns dads are famous for. If you’re as excited about them as we are, wait no longer than a second and scroll down to view them. And make sure to upvote your favorites!

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The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) Why does Dracula always bite people in the neck?
Because he's a neck romancer.

EDIT: getting downvoted, might have been a grave mistake posting here...

EDIT 2: getting a lot of upvotes now, I guess the Count is rising

Typhann , Unknown author - Universal Studios Report

Final score:

275points

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Michael Largey 5 months ago

"Pardon me, boy. Is this the Transylvania Station?"

4points

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The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said... "...40 second birthday". I was so proud.

amplifi-dash , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

176points

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Cleo Bean 5 months ago

She learned from the best!

29points

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My local barber was arrested yesterday for selling drugs. I've been his customer for years. Didn't even know he was a barber!

binary_world Report

Final score:

163points

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TylerIsNotInLove 5 months ago

That's crazy

21points

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My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have [intercourse]?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

madazzahatter Report

Final score:

160points

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ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

Hahaha!

7points

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Never understood why dads and corny jokes were a thing. I did notice it's a mostly true thing.

But I understand today. Asked my four year old what an 8 is. He doesn't know so I enlightened him that it's a zero with a belt.

Lost. His. Shit. He's just mastered numbers and letters and this was hysterical to him. I'm the funniest man alive. He's told the joke back to me about twenty times. Today.

Teenagers, this is why dads tell those jokes. They're chasing the indescribable high of this moment with a little kid. I found them cringeworthy as a teenager, but I get it now.

anonymous Report

Final score:

158points

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Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 5 months ago

This. I was a comedy GOD when my kids were little. Now I'm a source of embarrassment, lol.

46points

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My son asked why Star Wars movies came out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3.
I answered in my best yoda impersonation: ‘In charge of scheduling, I was’

My son loved it, I heard a sigh from my SO, and when I looked at her, she just shook her head

Demonazzzz Report

Final score:

152points

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Adrian 5 months ago

Best one here!

32points

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My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got mad and said she's never playing scrabble with me again

anonymous Report

Final score:

142points

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ArodTheHorrible 5 months ago

LOL... I like this one. Plot twist

32points

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The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) FIRST DATE: Her dad: "I want her home before midnight."
Me: "But you already own her home."
Dad: *turning to daughter* "If you don't sleep with him, I will."

jomjimmerjome , Pinkinesss Report

Final score:

141points

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Malek Basata 5 months ago

Now THAT'S my son, in law

9points

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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?" I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

ArchipelagoMind Report

Final score:

141points

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Meyrin 5 months ago

Brilliant

17points

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#10

Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on Reddit

StewPaddasso Report

Final score:

134points

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Novadoe (She/They) 5 months ago

This took me a hot minute xD

21points

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#11

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) My wife asked me to flip the calendar to the next month... To my surprise, the calendar skipped from April to June. I turned to tell her we're missing a month.

She said, "What's the matter? You look dis-Mayed..."

She's apparently been waiting a month for this set up

lan_mcdo , 戴宇扬 Report

Final score:

126points

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Auntriarch 5 months ago

Muwahaha!

18points

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#12

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning. It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz

StuntsMonkey , Carlos Santiago Report

Final score:

117points

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Ali H M Salehuddin 5 months ago

I am in body-building program too. Though I concentrate only at the belly area. So far, in my 2 years of this body-building program, I've added 5 kg in that area.

26points

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#13

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”

“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”

GhostPotency , Italo Melo Report

Final score:

114points

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Jake Languard 5 months ago

LOL took me way to long 🤦‍♂️

17points

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#14

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) The wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman can’t bend to pick it up because… ya know… she’s holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while she’s looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and say…

“Here, let me give you a hand”

She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing

nsk09003 , Jonathan Cooper Report

Final score:

109points

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Introverted Sloth 5 months ago

That deserved at least an eye roll.🙄🙄

34points

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#15

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) A guy went to a costume party carrying a woman on his back. The doorman asks, 'What are you supposed to be?' The guy replies, 'A turtle.' The doorman asks, “What’s on your back?' The guy says, 'That's Michelle.'

OctoberFire1 , Katerina Holmes Report

Final score:

108points

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Robert T 5 months ago

14points

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#16

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”

porichoygupto , Emma Craig Report

Final score:

101points

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Anyone-for-tea? 5 months ago

Oh I am being very slow today! I couldn’t work out why he wanted to be a 1yr old, but I see it means fifty cards now…

16points

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#17

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... “That’s just spam.”

madazzahatter Report

Final score:

96points

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ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

Groans. 🤪

12points

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#18

The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Sur5er Report

Final score:

95points

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Adrian 5 months ago

I'm sure it also bothers them that it's a global pandemic...

52points

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See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#28

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says, 'I’ll have some H2O.' The second man says, 'I'll have some H2O, too.' The second man dies.

casualiandie Report

Final score:

67points

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Anyone-for-tea? 5 months ago

I has to look it up as I didn’t know what H2 O2 was, and it’s hydrogen peroxide!

31points

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#29

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) Once upon a time, there was a king that was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible leader, but he made a great ruler.

saltedpork89 , SHVETS production Report

Final score:

64points

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Michael Largey 5 months ago

At 12 inches tall, he wasn't just royal - he was imperial. But then the people scaled the ramparts and overthrew him, founding a banana republic.

36points

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#30

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes) What genre are national anthems? Country.

rupanath97 , Vitaly Gariev Report

Final score:

48points

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Northlander72 5 months ago

If a certain music genre uses steel guitars, wouldn't that be metal?

16points

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Note: this post originally had 89 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

What do you think ?

WalterWhiteSavannah 5 months ago

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list. So I did, but now I can't read the damn thing.

PattyK 5 months ago

More — groan — like this, Bored Panda. (Groan again.)

ConstantlyJon 5 months ago

Did you know that scuba and tuba are both acronyms? Scuba stands for self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. Tuba stands for terrible underwater breathing apparatus.

15points

mysterious(all pronouns) 5 months ago

I have the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

8points

Sky Render 5 months ago

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

6points

HTakeover 5 months ago

My favorite dad jokes are anti-jokes and the ones where no matter what they answer, you switch it up. Ex. Why can't T-Rexes clap their hands? Because they've been dead for millions of years, or because they have short arms... whichever the kid didn't answer. Anti-joke: What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What has eyes and can't see? A blind person.

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But be careful about telling Dad jokes when not a Dad... because that makes you a faux pas. For you non-native English speakers, that's a pun on a phrase that means "social blunder" to mean "fake dad".

3points

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 5 months ago

Which is actually a French phrase, literally meaning "false step. "

DaveC 5 months ago

Told a friend (with a great sense of humor) who just have to have one of her cat's legs amputated (Cancer), she should rename him Yardstick. "Why..." Because he only has three feet. Didn't quite get a spit take but close..

1point

Robert Davis 5 months ago

I hate when Bored Panda posts terrible comments, especially mine

Lotekguy 5 months ago

Loving all these grin and groan offerings.

weatherwitch 5 months ago

Bored Panda more like this please ❤ ❤ ❤

0points

The Pinnacle Of Dad Humor, As Shared By This Online Community (30 Jokes)

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