buuuurrnnn

sorry we ran out of aloe vera but we have ice?

🤣 oh man, priceless!

haaaarshhh but she def deserved it

DESERVED

“ Don’t worry madam, the fire fighters are on their way”

Perfect

🔥Burrrrnnnnnn🔥

Beast mode

So, I guess she doesn't talk to herself ?😂

"I don't talk to ugly people". Are people genuinely that vile? I'm shocked.

* high five * that's just brilliant

Glorilla

Oh I talk to them too ye ugly aul ratbag. I'm polite to everone usually including those who don't think I'm Mr Universe, or appreciate my less than subtle humour. Surprisingly a physically and characterfully attractive French woman does love me enough, to have visited me off the bat, at home in Northern Ireland, and I am now married and living the life in la Belle france for 12 years, laughing at those "beautiful influenceuseus" without a brain. Nasty attitude is worse than looks.

Gotcha b**ch!

Badam deshoom!🔥

Xavier!

🤕 ouch

Isn't this man Xavier meme?

I would have said, "Talk to your mirror then."

This comment has been deleted.

Xavier, my man 🙌😄

Hahaha, and I bet dollars to donuts that went right over her head!!

Darrrrrrrrrrrn

Boom! Haha

You know that chick's pic has used at least three filters on it.

Aww, it's like a family cremation (please don't come after me, I just have a dark sense of humour - I don't even eat meat)

We are already waterproof 😭

Pluto is a jilted lover?

Universal healthcare

This never ceases to crack me up. Perfect example of how to screw yourself in 1.5 seconds. Lmao

Just pay for your own meals, why is this so hard for people.

Ah yes because marriage is indentured servitude for men…wait 🤔

Tell it you’re pregnant 😆

Honestly, I’m surprised that BP didn’t censor that

That bad huh?

Hmm… maybe dog is cute?

Malory has cracked the system

My life was going pretty well. But then suddenly I got pushed through a tiny cave. It was cold and bright on the other side. That's the day all my problems started

some of these are so 😘🤌🏻 like dam

Oof!

Bidets are so much better than toilet paper

The only positive aspect of having a cheating ex.

And healthy men don’t pit women against each other in a Madonna/whore comparison

I'm a teenager (not letting my real age online) and I can't see a point in making it to my 20s

Finally maths came into play!

Is that a microscope?

Her forehead is prime advertising space

He's keeping tampons and a phone in there?

Like I said, hey gorgeous

Bloody oath 🙄

I think it depends on the context. My native language is almost dead because people gave English too much priority. Now only villagers and old, established families can speak purely in our language, everyone else tries to talk in as much English as possible.

DAM

I always invite him to my house if my wifi is down! My right hand man