buuuurrnnn

Aww, it's like a family cremation (please don't come after me, I just have a dark sense of humour - I don't even eat meat)

We are already waterproof 😭

Pluto is a jilted lover?

Universal healthcare

This never ceases to crack me up. Perfect example of how to screw yourself in 1.5 seconds. Lmao

Just pay for your own meals, why is this so hard for people.

Ah yes because marriage is indentured servitude for men…wait 🤔

Tell it you’re pregnant 😆

Honestly, I’m surprised that BP didn’t censor that

That bad huh?

Hmm… maybe dog is cute?

Malory has cracked the system

My life was going pretty well. But then suddenly I got pushed through a tiny cave. It was cold and bright on the other side. That's the day all my problems started

some of these are so 😘🤌🏻 like dam

Oof!

Bidets are so much better than toilet paper

The only positive aspect of having a cheating ex.

And healthy men don’t pit women against each other in a Madonna/whore comparison

I'm a teenager (not letting my real age online) and I can't see a point in making it to my 20s

Finally maths came into play!

Is that a microscope?

So the new macro lens came in useful then?

Whoever is in charge of their social media needs a raise after this reply.

Samsung burn!

Holy 𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕥 they got him there

A single image is all that's required.

Di*k pic? You wish (I assume, Edward, you've never really seen one ;^/ )

Ouch

Her forehead is prime advertising space

He's keeping tampons and a phone in there?

Like I said, hey gorgeous

Bloody oath 🙄

I think it depends on the context. My native language is almost dead because people gave English too much priority. Now only villagers and old, established families can speak purely in our language, everyone else tries to talk in as much English as possible.

DAM

I always invite him to my house if my wifi is down! My right hand man