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Some people have such a way with words they can even make insults sound good. In reality, you don't even have to channel your inner Shakespeare to make an insult pleasant to one's ears. It just has to be clever enough to make the other person want to disappear inside their shell like a turtle.

We're fans of wordplay and justice here at Bored Panda, so, we've got a collection of the sickest and most inventive burns that people have dished out on the Internet. If you're looking for inspiration or want to see some cleverly-crafted justice where jerks got put in their place, check out these clever comebacks!

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    Did you think Twitter invented people throwing insults at each other in a public space? Well, think again! Back in the olden days, poets would engage in insult rap battles referred to as "flyting." Today, we can find examples of flyting in classical works such as Beowulf and King Lear, but other cultures have their versions as well: the Japanese haikai and the Arabic naqa'id.

    The most famous example of poets giving each other lashings in verbal form would probably be "The Flyting of Dunbar and Kennedie." That medieval rap battle was the first instance a poet used an excrement-related joke and also used the now-ubiquitous curse that starts with an F.

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    What was the point of these flytings? Not just to flex the poets' rhyming muscles, if you were wondering. Just like diss tracks today, they could make or break them: the poets' image, honor, and social standing depended on their performance. The poets performed the flyting to the royal court, but people outside the court could read their insults and boost their profiles.

    Nothing was off-limits during flytings. As Christine M. Robinson writes, Dunbar listed many of Kennedy's defects: "his highland origins, begging, cowardice, treachery, ugly appearance, venereal disease, jaundice, and sexual activity." Well, at least he didn't accuse him of downloading PDF files.

    #7

    Due For Some Good Luck Eventually

    Twitter exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks between two users about COVID-19 experiences.

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    Maria Maria
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had COVID-19 twice and I have never felt worse in my life. The first time I genuinely thought I wasn't going to make it.

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    #8

    Lake Superior Hasn't Wrecked Anyone Like This Since The Edmund Fitzgerald

    Clever comebacks in a Twitter exchange about water and rights.

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    Most Old English insults would be borderline nonsensical today, but we can't deny they sound pretty fun. Let's take "Blowsabella," for example. Yes, it's an insult to women, but not what you might've thought. It's a comment on a woman's hair, most often about how disheveled and unkempt it looked.

    #10

    She Has A Beautiful Way With Words

    Tweet with hilarious and clever comebacks about Netflix emissions and oil executives.

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    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Trump flies on Airforce One multiple times a week to go to Florida to play golf. In just a few weeks he has cost the taxpayers over $10 million!

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    #11

    100% Pure Beef

    Tweet exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about burger shapes between Cooper Franklin and Wendy's.

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    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The world would be a better place if our nuggets, burgers, sticks and ribs where shaped like the animals they came from.

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    #12

    Then There Was Flood

    Tweet exchange with a clever comeback on cancel culture and a biblical reference.

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    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Liberal media - lets expand privilege. Christian conservative media - we are the American Taliban, if it isn't Christian we will burn it.

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    Other old insults which might sound like they came straight from a five-year-old's vocabulary, are Gollumpus and Grumbletonian. And no, they don't have anything to do with The Lord of The Rings or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Gollumpus was a "large, clumsy fellow," probably originating from the verb galumph (to move clumsily with a heavy tread). And a Grumbletonian was someone who complained all the time, no matter how good they had it.

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    #13

    Great Reply

    Customer complaint with hilarious clever comeback from restaurant about food delivery issues.

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    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good job on standing up for the delivery driver instead of cow towing to the customer like many companies do

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    #14

    Aggressive But Relatable

    Comment section showcasing a clever comeback in a humorous online exchange.

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    michael Chock
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The government can't force you to use your body to keep someone alive. Doesn't matter if it's blood donations, organ donations, slavery or being a human incubator.

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    #15

    Blame Your Parents For This One

    MoonPie and user exchange hilarious clever comebacks about popularity and branding on Twitter.

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    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my high school graduation, we had a brain surgeon who was an alumni come and give the speech. He talked about becoming a surgeon, going around the world, climbing the himalaya, but the one thing he wanted us to always remember... and I quote "MOON PIES MAKE YOU HAPPY!" and he began throwing them into the crowd XD

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    Not all Old English insults sounded so nonsensical; some were worded quite normally. Like 'Afternoon Farmer', used to describe lazy people, perhaps because farmers would rise early and grind through the day. If people wanted to call someone emaciated or skinny like a skeleton, they would call them 'Death's Head Upon a Mop Stick.'

    #16

    That's Some Seriously Old Beer

    A clever comeback about the origins of craft beer in an online discussion.

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    Frank
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not to mention that Budweiser is a brand of the AB Inbev group, with HQ in Belgium and major shareholder in Brazil. And the "B" in AB Inbev does not stand for Budweiser.

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    But how can we talk about insults without talking about The Bard himself whose put-downs were almost second to none? Truly, who else could come up with quips like "froward and unable worms," "fat guts," "clay-brained guts," "luxurious mountain goat," or "February face"?

    #19

    That’ll Show Him

    Twitter screenshot with a clever comeback about buying and burning books.

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    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this makes no sense its like the people who bought Harry Potter books then burnt them to protest JK Rowling they already bought the books and made her richer so they are out of pocket not her

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    #21

    Plot Twist: She Pays The Full Rent Now And Does Not Want Her Man To Build Up To Much Self Esteem

    Twitter thread featuring hilarious clever comebacks about sharing rent and packing bags.

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We’ve been married almost 24 years. We’ve always had joint checking and savings accounts, plus our own accounts. The joint accounts pay the living expenses we have in common, as well as save for common goals, and our own accounts are ours to do with as we please. I don’t know how Eden can’t understand that both people in a marriage have to contribute to the relationship. If she can’t contribute money, then she contributes in another substantial way (for instance, a SAHM may not contribute a paycheck, but she does contribute her 24/7/365 time and effort to keep the kids cared for, and whatever other household duties she can manage, kept up with). A marriage where one partner exhausts themself working long hours, keeping bills paid, kids cared for, and the house kept decent, while the other lays around not contributing anything but expecting everything to be done for them, will not last. No one is worth allowing yourself to be taken advantage of by them. I don’t care how rich, famous, good looking, or great in bed they are. Advantage-takers all come with a very short relationship expiration date.

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    Shakespearean insults aren't just for name-calling. He was also a master of witty retorts. In Henry IV, Chief Justice tells Falstaff: "You are as a candle, the better burnt out." Or how about this very politically incorrect observation: "No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her."

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    #23

    Wow It's Like Makeup And Having Your Hair Down Makes You Look A Little Different

    Tweet exchange featuring hilarious clever comebacks about catfishing with juxtaposed photos.

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    #24

    This Is What This Type Of Parenting Leads To

    Twitter exchange featuring hilarious clever comebacks about parenting and privacy expectations.

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    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we not friends" - yeah, because OP sucks bigtime as a father. The reply is spot-on.

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    The reality is that we don't live in a Shakespeare play. When someone insults us, we spend way too much time thinking of a comeback. A good retort only comes to us when we're lying in bed at night the following night. Psychologists say that's because the parts of our brains that are responsible for coming up with a witty remark turn off at that moment; they're sensing a threat.

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    #26

    Maybe That Rat Makes A Nice Meal And You're Being Judgemental

    Twitter post with clever comeback about a rat walking alongside someone.

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the line from Diamonds Are Forever where Bond encounters a rat in the pipeline he has been sealed into: "One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief." (Sniffs self) "I'm afraid it's me. Sorry about that, old boy."

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    Psychotherapist Melanie Williams says that "Are you okay?" is the most universal response when someone says something wildly inappropriate to you. "There's so much packed in this short comeback," she told TIME. This flips the attention back at the insulter, not so much what they were talking about. Also, Williams notes, it invites the insulter to self-reflect.

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    #29

    And The Most Hair-Raising

    Tweet with a humorous response about salmon preparation, highlighting clever comebacks.

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    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In all fairness, I've made salmon in the microwave before and it turns out pretty great

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    Which of these comebacks did you like the best, Pandas? Do you think you will be using any of them in your own life any time soon? Let us know in the comments! And while you're there, don't forget to share with us the best witty retorts you have in your arsenal!

    #32

    Get In The Ball

    PETA tweet followed by clever comeback about Pokemon Go and animal treatment.

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    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And sending the extra ones off to be grinded to candy you can feed to the survivors so they'll get tougher :)

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    #33

    It's So Simple

    Twitter exchange with hilarious clever comeback about passive income advice.

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why didn't I think of this sooner, all I needed to do was take $3mil and buy a treasure bond? Silly me...

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    #34

    Two Sides Of The Same Coin

    Tweet conversation with a clever comeback about makeup and video games.

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    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m a “grown” 53 year old woman still playing video games. 30 years of Playstation.

    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a 50 yr old woman who spends all the free time I can playing GTA V. I've been playing video games since I first played Pac Man as a little kid in the early 80s. I spent a lot of time in arcades. I don't see why I have to stop playing video games because I'm an adult.

    Sky Render
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hell yeah! 43-year-old woman, been gaming since I was 5 with the Atari 2600, still going strong with the Switch and PC.

    Jessica Shookhoff
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started out on the Atari 2600 at 4yo in 1982. I learned how to play from my Mom, Great Aunt, & my older sister. I've played on NES, PS-1, PS-2, PS-3, PS-4, Sega Genesis, PC, Sega Dreamcast, GameCube, Xbox-360, Xbox One, Gameboy, iPad, Mobile. All 4 of my daughters game. Girl gamers have been around since the very beginning & we are legion! Shout out to all the Lit Chick's on this thread who also love gaming!!! 🤍🩷❤️🧡🤎💛💚🩵💙💜🩶🖤

    somnomania (she/her, queer)
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    h**l yeah, i'll be 38 this year, i've been gaming since i was uhhhhh. what year did pokemon hit the states? that's how long. i can't focus on much else, most of the time, and the escapism is ideal, especially these days.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I must have missed that memo I’m 47 and I’ve been playing video games most of my life…starting with Atari with my dad :))

    Susan Wilson
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    61 year old woman here, currently playing Frontiers of Pandora after 4 playthroughs of Borderlands 3, but anxiously awaiting the next Assassin's Creed game. Big fan of anything AC. I have hundreds of hours in on Cyberpunk 2077 and hope the next one releases without as many bugs. I still remember the day my father brought home the newly released Pong. Oh and I wear makeup too.

    TaSim
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a bit of an AC fan myself can I recommend Starwars Outlaws, whilst waiting. I just think of it as AC in space/the future because the satisfaction of stealth clearing a large enemy outpost remains the same regardless of the setting.

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    Sharkfin6
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely amazing! Hope you keep enjoying the games that bring you joy and hours of entertainment for many more years! Which one has been your favorite AC game?

    MushroomHead22
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she says that, but probably spends about 1/3 of her day on her phone.

    JE
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does she watch movies or TV or read books? How is that any different than playing videogames?

    Rebecca McManus
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    57 yo female, still a gamer, age and gender is no barrier to k*****g things after a hard day pretending to like people

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't play video games but I still play solitaire and Jewell Quest while I'm listening to a podcast. Keeps my hands busy while I'm listening. It expands the brain. She should try it sometime.

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    #37

    Best Way To Respond To Threats

    Funny auto-reply comeback to a threat, showing a clever response with a faux police warning.

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    Earonn -
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are funny, I just wish such a function would exist. With a 3 strike rule: 3rd threat of that time = jail. End of.

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    #38

    Well You Can't Argue With That Kind Of Logic

    Reddit post showcasing hilarious clever comeback to question about saving something in a house fire.

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    SheHulk
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is the first thing you take out of your burning house? Answer : The fire!

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    #40

    Is That Why There's So Many Of You 23 Year Olds Around?

    Two tweets with a hilarious clever comeback about why there are many 23-year-olds, referencing 1999.

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    m6nbtfpx7q
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just young and uninformed of the effects of antibiotics on birth control even in the days after you’ve finished them. Imagine that, US public school had “health” classes one day in sixth grade and thought we were prepared for life.

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    #45

    Sitcom Bullying

    Twitter exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks with a funny reply to ice hockey bragging.

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    Nina
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And admitting you were a high school bully isn't the flex you think it is..

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    #47

    It's About Creating Something Better

    Social media post with a witty and clever comeback about younger siblings.

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    #48

    I'd Really Love To Know The Thinking Pattern Behind This

    Tweet with a funny response, showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about spelling January.

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    UndertaleLover (She/Her)
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the guy was trying something along the lines of "did you know if you say the word gullible very slowly, it sounds like the word 'orange?'"

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    #54

    First Date

    Tweet exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about dating and sharing food.

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    Julie S
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what annoyed me about the "Joey doesn't share food" Friends episode who takes food off another persons plate on a first date.

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    #55

    Destroyed

    Tweet with a clever comeback about dating apps replacing elegant galas, featuring an image of a ballroom dance.

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    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's be real: These do exist, but this is not how wealthy people meet their mates anymore.

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    #62

    We Were A Proper Country Then

    Finger displaying moisturizer shaped like a mouse with a hilarious clever comeback tweet about going on Ellen.

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even more years ago, it would’ve gotten you burned at the stake. Preferable to being on Ellen though.

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    #63

    I’m Definitely Using This One

    Woman sipping drink with a hilarious clever comeback about commuting in the comment section.

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    eric p
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, if you play to bankruptcy I've had Monopoly games last for days

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    #65

    Someone Doesn’t Get The Pickup Line

    Text message exchange with hilarious clever comebacks about movie snacks and decoration.

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    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or...they completely understand the pickup line, but aren't interested so they're pretending not to get it. Then, of course, the other person insults them. All-in-all, bullet dodged.

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    #66

    I Feel Personally Attacked

    Tweet exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about tech skills and correlation studies.

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    Tabitha
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Correlation Study”? That would be a waste of time. Correlation is not causation.

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    #67

    Bro Got Bodied By An Airline

    Passengers boarding a Ryanair plane, showcasing hilarious clever comebacks on social media.

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    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A very s****y company clapping back at a paying customer is not a burn.

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    #68

    Creator Of Geometry Dash Has No Chill

    Chat exchange showcasing clever comebacks between Subwoofer and RobTop.

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    cj be like
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there are many shapes in the game, which have geometry, therefore it has to do with geometry

    #70

    Bully Getting A Taste Of Their Own Medicine

    Text conversation featuring hilarious clever comebacks about a "dumbass award" and an alphabet soup insult.

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