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The UK has its own breed of humor and what gets a Brit laughing may leave outsiders scratching their heads.

Heavy on self-deprecation, almost undetectable sarcasm, and constant deadpan delivery, it can feel like a totally different language.

But fear not, we’ve put together a new piece about the social media magazine 'British Memes' to help you understand (and use!) their jokes just as effectively as they do.

So continue scrolling and happy learning!

More info: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

#1

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cats_from_the_void
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see the problem, you were far too kind about it, those who delight in irritating our cat lords must not live

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Cat Chat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, it's fun getting to these before the censors kick in. 🤣

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From Shakespeare’s comedies to Billy Connolly’s command of an audience, Gavin & Stacey’s taste of Welsh whimsy to Derry Girls’ earthy look at life in the 1990s, humor has been central to the history of storytelling across the UK for a very long time.

But if you ask an academic to come up with a description for British humor, they will most likely run into some trouble.

Dr. Ian Wilkie, a lecturer in performance at the University of Salford, said: “Having taught younger American students, they take the British sense of humor to be Monty Python, by which they mean a sort-of slightly erring towards the surreal, very iconoclastic in terms of attacking the big targets, very silly.”

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Lemme get the lemons
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! I hate those awards, because I missed one day off of school before, and despite being told I'm one of the best students, like in the top five, I got nothing. It unfair and stupid Edit: I got a prize for attendance today 🙃

Sami-Jo Ross
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All those "awards" do is instill the belief that your health comes behind work and you'll be punished for needing a day off.

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GoldfishCrackers
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah- award effort and improvement and kindness. Things a child actually can have some level of control over.

Depressed Owl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I don't like attendance awards. They just make it incentived for you to go to school even when you are sick.

Anxious&Bored Bear
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And prepares you to go to work when you're sick so your boss doesn't have to actually work.

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Pink Princess
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perfect attendance is stupid. I missed out on perfect attendance last year because I had COVID.

liam newton-harding
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attendence Award, training good lil'drones...Sick? Better come in, and get everyone infected, don't want to miss out on that big tick on your "Permanent" Record. Tragedy at home? You have other family members, they will understand. In crisis? Learn what burn-out is before even reaching College, let alone the Work Place.

Shayne Randlett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These stupid awards encourage sick kids to come to school sick and get everyone else sick. Yeah - good job, Sarah. You're a real hero...

The Original Bruno
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate those awards. In the 90s, Baltimore and the entire nations' sports reporters went absolutely ga-ga over someone breaking Lou Gehrig's perfect attendance award. Lou Gehrig was the second-best baseball player in history and kept playing baseball until he could barely stand because he was dying from what was later diagnosed as Lou Gerhig's disease. (It was actually a lot more surprising of a diagnosis than it sounds like.) Cal Ripken, Jr. was a great baseball player and seems like a nice guy, but he'd've done even more for his team if he'd've taken a f*****g day off once in a while. So, no, I didn't care a rat's a*s about Cal Ripken. (By the way, watch Pride of the Yankees and you tell me it wasn't the inspiration for the personality of Captain America.)

StrangePenguin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! i hate that how i get good grades marked poorly for being sick even if it’s too the hospital and then i miss out on end of the year award for attendance!

bob cameron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you probably don't get proper recognition for you academic achievement.

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Wysteria_Rose
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand grading attendance with school children, who have absolutely no control over: getting sick, parent having car trouble, school bus running behind, death in the family, doctors appointments, etc. I actually received a detention in fourth grade over it. Utterly ridiculous.

El Dee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Encouraging parents and students to spread disease to vulnerable classmates - classy..

Roan The Demon Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who grew up having to have hospital and therapy appointments several times a month, f**k these 100% attendance gifts. I missed out on a trip to the local theme park as a kid because of this, despite still being one of the top in class!

Atlas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're acting like no one can miss school for any genuine reason, like I'm sorry I had to get tested for learning disorders, it's not my fault I have them.( I had a perfect attendance before that happened)

Ace
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

American schools teaching their kids how to work in American corporate culture - doesn't matter if you're ill, you need to come in anyway. Oh, hang on, this is the British humour thread, so does this mean it happens in the UK too?

The Voice in Your Head
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup, and in Australia. People used to go nuts for that piece of paper... meanwhile my mum was happy to take me out of school whenever I got cramps, yet I still managed to be in the top 5 of my year. It's almost like taking care of yourself doesn't impact performance 🤔

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Bad Ass69
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They do it for the National Honor society turds! Who else gets those but them! I refered to them as. The Teachers Suckup awards! Said heck with that and went fishing instead! Sure my parents beat n punished me for it. But they did not have a problem eating any of the fish? You are just being a good supportive mother. And the world needs a lot more of that! They are jerks and don't realize it! If they were giving out awards for imperfections those jerks would be in line for one just as much as anyone else!

Ruth Harper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this. I had severe asthma as a kid and always had a bunch of absences.

Michael Largey
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to give out the perfect attendance certificates at the annual Honors Night, a ceremony which is held in the evening. No perfect attendance winner ever showed up to accept it. (We discontinued the award.)

Sonja
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd write the school a carefully worded mail that raises the issue of discrimination. It can end such nonsense pretty quickly. Your daughter might not yet be considered disabled, but a chronic illness might hit close enough to get them going

Cat Chat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Worse are the schools that dock your grade for any and all missed days.

Printerman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely despise the whole concept. I used to work with a kid who bragged that he had perfect attendance from kindergarten through high school. Said if he was sick, he came to school anyway, then went home after attendance. I said, "great, now you've possibly gotten several other kids sick." This is encouraged in the work place too, people are shamed for taking a sick day, or only get a couple a year, so they come in sick. NO! I don't want whatever you have. Do the responsible thing and STAY TF HOME!

Cydney Golden
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attendance awards just encourage people coming in when they are sick.

Marvin HeartofGold
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attendance prizes in general are stupid. Do you want people to go to school or work sick and spread it to everyone? No? Then stop punishing people who take off for being sick.

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just indoctrinating kids to work at jobs every day no matter how sick they get.

Sheena Leversedge Wood
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to have to have a lot of "mental health days" off. because the school couldn't be arsed to stop people bullying me. so it was THEIR fault I needed days where I didn't go, not mine.

Hugh G. Beef
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m not seeing the humour in this. This makes my heart warm and then just makes me sad for all the kids who don’t have a loving mum like her

Anne Watson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hated attendance awards at school. My first year in high school my mother died. I had a half day off for her funeral so didn’t get it.

._.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At my school if you have perfect attendance you can choose your parking spot as a senior

Parriah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With so many kinds of families too I wish they would broaden ( not remove) mothers/Father’s Day or dances or events with just “Special adult in your life” which can include moms and dads but then kids can bring or make a gift for any positive adult in their life or if they have no one they can make teacher something fun. My daughter made a Father’s Day card every year so kids wouldn’t ask why she didn’t have a dad and then throw it away when she got home. :(

never snarky
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally unfair. There are a lot of very legitimate reasons for missing a day or two of school. Kids shouldn't be punished for attending a funeral, for instance.

Dustin Miller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got attendance awards when I was younger, when I was in grade 1 I didn't mind because I was super young; but any year after that I hated it because it just singles out kids to get made fun of for going to school

Zdena
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

School attendance is beyond child´s control. So reward/punishment does not make sense. Moreover: a sick child should stay in bed at home, heal properly and not to spread disease.

D. Pitbull
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's this kind of attitude/award system that is a big reason incompetent lowest-common-denominators get hired/promoted... actual *ability, skill and intelligence* get ignored while simpleton 'just following orders, and not thinking!' gets rewarded.

Sarah Turney
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So messed up these awards. Think it teaches kids you go in even if your dying. How about make the effort but if your sick your sick the company you work for isn't giving you an award when you die off with work related stress

Truice Zer0
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent Mum! I grew up with a chronic illness as well and despite having almost perfect grades through university, attendance always threatened to get me held back or failing a class. They focus on the wrong things. I now work from home for a wonderful company that focuses more on my efficiency than if I'm at my computer all day every day. I hope your little one can to (I recommend getting her into computers ;) )

Heather Vandegrift
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would start a group for students and parents with chronic illness (including things like depression and anxiety, because those are legitimate illnesses that should be given the same consideration as physically manifesting illnesses) to support and celebrate these students. Kids and adults don't deserve to be left out just because their bodies need more support

Hoody Hoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a chronic illness sufferer as well, and I was always getting s**t from teachers. BUT, interestingly enough, they always ended up having me take the test for the spelling bee (sometimes from home!) because none of my classmates made the cut. I truly believe I learned more on my own than I ever did in class.

Susan Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And just like that, because we are jealous when someone gets an award because of something THEY were able to do, we shall have no awards, no recognition, and no jealousy. Yay!

yannick van gennip
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats it burn the princble office and destroy all his pc's make the harddrives unreadble and leave an mesage take care of poeple with an ilnes with live and care not like you you prick

Sandra Gleeson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son was the same, he has cystic fibrosis and was never able to make 100% attendance, no atter what

John Harrison
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Laughing my a** off at these people bitching that attendance awards incentivize kids to come in sick. In what universe is this happening? Because in this one, no sick child has ever forced themselves to go to school so that they'll get an Attendance Award lololol Relax and let these kids get their Easter Egg , ffs. ..........."No Mom! I HAVE to go into school today. I HAVE to get my free Easter Egg at the end of the year. I can get treated for measles on the weekend!" lololol

Jnogrimes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In first grade, I learned we could miss up to 12 school days. "That's a budget to be spent wisely!"

SPARKIZE
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah i always make sure my son gets something better than the teacher gives other students, he's dyslexic and she knows his school work isn't the same as the rest of the class, but she still includes him just to leave him out.

George D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a guy who never missed a day in his whole 12 years. No idea who this guy was as he was not in any of the AP and advanced classes, but there he was with us on honors night getting a special achievement plaque. I didn't think it was physically possible to not miss A SINGLE DAY in 12 years! Man, we were blown away. According to those that knew him, dude NEVER got sick. EVER. Incredible.

Bryn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anything requiring 100% attendance needs to be abolished.

Valek Fermiga
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your daughter doesn't need school, when she's got you as a mum, you're lovely and amazing!! : ) : )

ViFi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

here's the thing: in seventh grade, I was about to get the perfect attendance record (literally- only had three days left in the school year). and sudenly in the middle of 6th period algebra, I got called over the loudspeaker to go home....because my grandfather had just gone into cardiac arrest at the wheel of his car. So, the attendance award went to the stoner whose parents forced him to never stay home because he had been arrested for truancy, and so he only missed 2 days and I missed 3 while i was mourning my dead grandfather. Woo-hoo for attendance awards.

Claire Armstrong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh wow! That's just bad! If that was me I'd probably buy all the excluded kids easter eggs!

Magik Darkchilde
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of the reasons I was never able to attend public schools: I would have been absent due to illness too much and they would have reported my parents

That Goth Demon (zey/zem)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slay queen! (Holy s**t that was cringey) I hate that illness accounts towards attendance bcs you can't decide when you get ill, you just do. If it's you whose accountable, then that makes sense.

Did I say that out loud?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's a school like my daughters, that prizes attendance above anything else, tough s**t I'm afraid.

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LK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we say 'discrimination'? Because that's exactly what it is.

Huddo's sister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never heard of a school with attendance award where I live

Did I say that out loud?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thankfully, more schools are realising how stupid these attendance awards are,but many still use them.

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However, Wilkie said that, while those traits can become shorthand for ‘the British sense of humor’, he doesn’t think “that cuts the mustard.”

Dr. Wilkie highlighted that there are already differences in popular humor in the four home nations. It diversifies even more between the major cities, making it difficult to pinpoint a blanket ‘British’ humor.

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One example is the Scottish brash-with-a-twinkle style of Billy Connolly or the more gentle approach of his compatriot Susan Calman. “Scottish people like witty jokes, there is a lot of respect for learning and that it likes quite hard-hitting jokes, ones of mockery,” Wilkie explained.

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While he noted there are similarities between Glaswegian humor and that found in other port cities, such as Liverpool, that Scottish style might not necessarily translate into a Welsh sense of humor or a broader English one.

Attending a comedy night, with many different acts, would show how difficult it is to categorize humour along geographical lines.humor

“You may laugh at different aspects of their schtick, but it would then be difficult to say, ‘well, there’s a British sense of humour’ because of the disparate kind of approaches and world views coming across.”

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Another element worth considering is how much the humor of other countries has influenced British comedy.

If you’ve sat and enjoyed the exaggerated characters in Fawlty Towers, the characters and scrapes they find themselves in reflect the sketches of the Commedia dell’arte, a form of theatre from 16th Century Italy.

Among other elements, it involved a series of recognizable characters from all aspects of society engaged in witty dialogue.

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Cat Chat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even worse, we have a 4 level house (really it's split level front/back, so only 2 rooms per floor), and it doesn't work going up nor down.

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Surrealism, long considered a staple of British humor was, as Dr. Wilkie describes it, performed by: “Dadaists from countries that we may choose not to think of as particularly funny, such as Germany."

“They were doing surrealism to the nth degree, quite deliberately as a performative art, in the early part of the 20th Century. I think it’s something we like to appropriate in a way and imagine that we’re the custodians of it, but it’s not culturally specific at all.”

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With Monty Python held up as a good example of leftfield humor from the UK, the Carry On… series of films suggests a national affection for a less sophisticated bawdiness loaded with double entendres.

While they did enjoy popularity outside the country (Carry On Nurse ran in Los Angeles for more than two-and-a-half years on its initial release), Dr. Humor Wilkie doesn’t see the humor contained within the 30 titles of the franchise as something that defines a nation.

“Carry On… kind of made fun of itself in its day, it was already slightly self-consciously old-fashioned and seaside postcard, but people could enjoy it because they could say, all bets are off really, we’re going to see something that’s sexist, end of the pier and a bit silly and that was fine,“ Dr. Wilkie explained.

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Anxious&Bored Bear
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hate those hypocrites who say work harder: your college education was paid for even when you were failing, your job was nepotism, and your wealth was inherited.

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It’s these different styles and presentations of comedy by British performers that. Dr. Wilkie believes make it impossible for an academic to point, with confidence, at various elements and state categorically that they alone make up the nation’s famed sense of humor.

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Pink Princess
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Red telephone boxes look so cool and posh and aesthetic and then you have the one on the right

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Shyla Bouche
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a really nice frozen custard place about 45 min. away from my parents. They'd make the trip once a month or so, and bring the dog. He got a spoonful of everyone's custard. Once they went, and it was cold, rainy, and crowded. They decided to go to the Baskin Robbins across the street. They got their ice cream, and a paper bowl so they could share with the dog. He wouldn't eat it. I guess he decided that if he was going that far, it had to be the custard or nothing.

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“No, I wouldn’t say there is a British sense of humor,” he concluded. “I think the best you can hope for is some big, beacon terms (eg. sarcasm, understatement, self-deprecation), that maybe, over a fair amount of time, might hold water."

“Comedy and humor have always been so open to counter-examples that you can never really pin anything down. It’s like trying to nail jelly to a wall.”

However, if you'd like to see more 'British Memes,' fire up our first publication on this fun little project.

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Anxious&Bored Bear
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in the US: rich people find loopholes to get out of paying taxes, so the taxes on the workers get increased.

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Robert T
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bradley Walsh trying desperately not to crack up. He still hasn't got over F***y Chmelar on The Chase.

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Chihuahua Mama
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually feel it's a win if you haven't set foot in Dubai. Seems like a soulless place

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Michael P (Perthaussieguy)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone was enjoying the Donner Kebabs at the Christmas Party. Then they ran out. So they started on the Blitzen Kebabs.

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Susan Bosse
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They have use of full lanes in my city, whether one or a gaggle of them. Tons of cyclists around here. HATE getting behind them but good on you for exercising. Now get out of my way. I have snacks at home.

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Fenchurch
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doesn't taste the same as an adult.. I suspect they have removed some of the more dubious colourants and flavourings.

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Auntriarch
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first person to win Deal or No Deal, her long term boyfriend left her a couple of weeks before. Not the same scale, but it did give us a nice warm feeling

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cats_from_the_void
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh you poor intellectually deprived dears, why would the government waste valuable tracking devices on you?

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Fenchurch
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Them "can just I take an email address?" Me "No" Me on a more pedantic day " I don't know can you?"

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Michael P (Perthaussieguy)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Twist: It wasn't part of a 'Meal deal', he was actually asking you out but saved himself by using this tactic :)

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The Original Bruno
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

President Clinton wishes he had come up with this idea. The Eat Out to Help Out scheme, I mean.

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Monday
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially if it still kinda works when you hold it at just the right angle.

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Delta Dawn
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

please tell me cba means can’t be arsed, because I’m going to use that from now on

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Scrapiechick
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My old landlord used to do this thinking it wouldn't count and formal communications when I sued him for 3x my deposit hahahahaha

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#65

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Cat Chat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I laugh every time I get into the turn lane for my street, which looks like I'm sneaking in early for the turn lane for the light just past our street. Car after car starts following me to jump ahead, too. Then they are stuck behind me, where as if they drove passed me and got into the lane when they should have, would already be through the light. 🤣

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#73

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Sami-Jo Ross
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried balancing an opened water bottle on my forehead with the same results.

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Gustav Gallifrey
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not likely. In Australia, they'll advertise e.g. table saws for $99.00, and you go there at opening time to get one and it turns out that maybe 4 were allocated to the three Aldi stores in your town, and somehow (mysteriously) they've all already been sold.

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Cat Chat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, my 23f missed Mother's Day this year, but visited a couple of days ago. I showed her the poems her little sisters gave me hanging on the wall (unframed). Then showed her I still had the framed one she gave me at the same age. She started crying and I was like "yeah, your Mom still loves you!" She replies "No, and I only say this because they are asleep - I'M STILL THE FAVORITE!" 🤣

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OnlyMe
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they usually knock on the door and call housekeeping. Obvs if you're passed out you didn't hear so bum to you haha

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More!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’ll be mum retuning the favour (it’s a passive sort of revenge thing) We really just do it to annoy our kids.

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Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm wondering if anyone, well anywhere, has experienced the likes of the Colin & Cuthbert scandal. I mean do our American friends know the feeling to pick a side on such a raw topic? Do our passionate European neighbours have enough passion to enter this arena? Have our Asian fellows ever felt on the brink of anarchy over such a sensitive topic?

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Harls
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're shooting a free kick and a wall isn't even attempted.

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#88

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OnlyMe
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is me - my teenage son ALWAYS waits until I get up and asks me for a drink

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Auntriarch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not Barbara whose husband ran off with a footballer is it? I mean I can understand why she got into yogurt after that

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VonBlade
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Peas and Pasta, dish them FROM the bag to the pan using the spoon you normally dish up with, tada, guaranteed to have the right amount.

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Auntriarch
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amazing how many adverts have "maxi" on them. RIP Maxi, greyhound of distinction

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OnlyMe
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really? Guess I won't be going there anytime soon then.

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CwtchyMama
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok but have you heard his podcast " help I sexted my boss " I'm pushing myself every episode

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Paul Neff
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a relief, here I was thinking only Americans let their pets drive cars...

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Rizzo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LIDL is a german company. Why the hell does this looks so much better than at the one around the corner from me?

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GenericPanda09
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to work for the company that set up the clubcard scheme when it was just a guy and his wife that set it up out of their back bedroom, and was later bought outright by Tesco... my advice don't use one, that amount of data on you isn't worth an extra 7p off a can of beans every month. They analyse and sell ALL your shopping habits to EVERYONE willing to pay for it, one day they'll have coca cola in selling them it, the next pepsi will be in buying the same data on you. Stopped buying codoms this month? Next month your offers will probably be about nappies or some other baby stuff. All sold to you as doing you a favour, but in reality exploiting the f**k out of you.

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#110

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Heather Resatz
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have parents that are good for you to stay with, bless you!! Do it!!

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Donkey boi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Scampi Fries. Great if you're eating them! Shocking if you're smelling someone who's eaten them!

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#118

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Tucker Cahooter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The footnote "* restrictions do not apply for members of the UK Government" has been omitted from the post

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#120

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#121

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Nikki Sevven
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, because I stop for a hot second and remember how much I hate doing laundry.

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ynyrhydref56
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take it this is about Madeleine McCann and not the precocious French schoolgirl of the cartoon. 😜 I was so confused for a second.

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TotallyNOTaFox
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could have been worse - imagine being german and taking part in the contest....

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Nikki Sevven
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And here we are only halfway through 2020v3. Only six more iterations left.

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