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Birds are a universal part of our ecosystem, from the clueless-looking pidgin to sparrows that zip by at extremely high speeds. The ability to fly equips them to be particularly immune from repercussions, so it’s no surprise that avians seem to have no qualms about taking our stuff, eating our food, and then flying away before any consequences can be felt. 

The “Birds being Jerks” online group gathers examples of birds with little to no regard for humans and our stuff. So get comfortable and upvote your favorite examples as you scroll through. Be sure to comment your own bird stories and tales.

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#2

My Dickbag Bird

My Dickbag Bird

LoloDoe Report

When you take into consideration the evolutionary nature of birds, it makes more sense that they might have an inclination towards jerkdom. Scientists believe that birds are the modern incarnation of dinosaurs like the velociraptor of “Jurrasic Park” fame. You might notice the word raptor, which we still use to describe various birds of prey. 

They are still pretty unique in the modern world, as they are the only animals with feathers. The only exception to this is the kiwi, which is furry and flightless, much like the fruit. They also lay eggs, despite being warm-blooded, much to the benefit of our breakfast. One thing modern birds do not really have anymore is teeth, as their ancestors often did still retain some to access a more varied diet.

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#5

Crow Rides On The Back Of A Bald Eagle

Crow Rides On The Back Of A Bald Eagle

wilsonpmPfgdrg5 Report

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malaixa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, the crow and the bald eagle - the odd couple of the bird world. It's a classic case of a small bird with big dreams, hitching a ride on the shoulders of a bald eagle, the ultimate symbol of freedom and majesty. I suppose it just goes to show that no matter how different we may seem on the surface, we can all find common ground when we're in it together. Or maybe that crow is just trying to save his energy for the next heist.

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#6

I Think We Have A Criminal Here

I Think We Have A Criminal Here

itamar_farkash9 Report

Feathers give birds all sorts of benefits, from flight, insulation, and protection against water. The flip side is that it ends up requiring them to spend almost 10% of their time just grooming and preening. Reflecting their dinosaur heritage, some birds also have scales, primarily on their toes. The ability to fly comes with the need for rapid digestion and very quick metabolism. 

#7

This Peacock Pecked At His Own Reflection On A Bmw For Over Half An Hour

This Peacock Pecked At His Own Reflection On A Bmw For Over Half An Hour

Sosumi_rogue Report

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Kobe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was here first - you little sh*t ! move ! I said, move.. !

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#8

Fuck The Law

Fuck The Law

tabanhere Report

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#9

No Respect For The Rules

No Respect For The Rules

DavDon18 Report

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malaixa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, it's no surprise that birds are breaking the rules. After all, they've been flying under the radar for far too long. But shaming them on the internet? Nah... That's just fowl play!

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Some can also mimic the noises of other animals, including humans. Parrots are pretty famous for taking on the mannerisms and expressions used by their owners, while crows can mimic the sounds of predators. They use this to attract said predators to carcasses, allowing wolves or bears to split open the dead animal and gain access to the meat inside. 

#10

I Love Parrots But Don't Insult The Arsonist

I Love Parrots But Don't Insult The Arsonist

_Throwaway54_ Report

#12

Help I Lost My Lovebird In This Pile Of Mangoes!

Help I Lost My Lovebird In This Pile Of Mangoes!

sqnu Report

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Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm embarrassed at how long that took me to see. Tbf it's late and I'm tired

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#15

Dick Left Alone With An Open Laptop

Dick Left Alone With An Open Laptop

Vall3y Report

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KittyGotClaws
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I want this one, no this one! How about this one over there? Noooo, this one's better! Oooops... Hi hooman!"

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#16

Hes Figured Out How To Open The Seed Dispenser

Hes Figured Out How To Open The Seed Dispenser

keta9919 Report

#17

Blursed Parrot

Blursed Parrot

birb_in_disguise Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, duh, haven't you seen all the Jurassic Park movies? We are expected to bite and hunt and stuff...

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#18

Thanks For Rescuing Us From The Brink Of Extinction And All, But

Thanks For Rescuing Us From The Brink Of Extinction And All, But

SeanaLyn , SeanaLyn Report

#19

German Chancellor Angela Merkel At A Bird Park

German Chancellor Angela Merkel At A Bird Park

ledtosea Report

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David Paterson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rainbow lorikeets! The most commonly seen wild bird in Australia. Very little fear of humans. A wildlife park in Queensland regularly pranks tourists like this. An unforgettable experience. There's a photo of young me in exactly the same situation.

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#20

Poor Baby Hippo Never Hurt A Fly

Poor Baby Hippo Never Hurt A Fly

poliscijunki Report

#22

This Speaks For Itself

This Speaks For Itself

reddit.com Report

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#23

This One Has Made My Balcony His Territory... Tries To Scratch Me If I'm Outside

This One Has Made My Balcony His Territory... Tries To Scratch Me If I'm Outside

BD_secureIT Report

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Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at those talons and that beak. That balcony belongs to her now, unless you want serious injury I suggest you surrender it.

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#24

An Atlantic Puffin (Joe) Who Doesn't Like To Share

An Atlantic Puffin (Joe) Who Doesn't Like To Share

Saarg095 Report

#27

These Birds Getting Plastered Off Fermented Cherries In Our Backyard

These Birds Getting Plastered Off Fermented Cherries In Our Backyard

dajung21 Report

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KittyGotClaws
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are there cherries leftover on the tree? You should've baked them into a pie!

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#30

This Swan Has Been Enforcing The Stay At Home Order Outside My House For The Last Three Days

This Swan Has Been Enforcing The Stay At Home Order Outside My House For The Last Three Days

ganggangletsdie Report

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Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Swans/geese are douches. I have been attacked by two and they are so f*****g mean

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#32

Asshole Pelicans

Asshole Pelicans

reddit.com Report

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David Paterson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They won't eat children, but they have been known to eat pigeons and small mammals. I know a place where the pelicans are regularly fed, daily. They are friendly birds, not aggressive.

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#33

This Asshole And Her Bullshit Crumbs Everywhere

This Asshole And Her Bullshit Crumbs Everywhere

weaponized_glitter Report

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KittyGotClaws
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know, I'd be more worried about how she's eyeing me now that her snack it's gone.

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#34

Magpie Kiss

Magpie Kiss

g_nome7 Report

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Bron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just yesterday, I discovered hubby of 23 years has a scar behind his ear from where a maggie pecked him

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#35

Memphis Hawks Don’t Let You Mess With Their Eggs…

Memphis Hawks Don’t Let You Mess With Their Eggs…

Hungry-Influence3108 Report

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malaixa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, it's clear that this Memphis hawk take her egg protection duties very seriously. I guess they don't want anyone else to hatch a plan for those precious supermarket eggs. But let's be honest, this hawk is just winging it when it comes to grocery store etiquette.

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#36

Seagulls Are The Worst

Seagulls Are The Worst

const_bigMan Report

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malaixa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seagulls are like the in-laws of the bird world. They swoop in uninvited, make a huge mess, and refuse to leave until they've eaten everything in sight.

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#37

Birds Ate My Handmade Paper Star (Took Me Weeks To Make)

Birds Ate My Handmade Paper Star (Took Me Weeks To Make)

pyromaic_sofa Report

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#39

This Is Comfortable

This Is Comfortable

Few-Succotash-3047 Report

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Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a nice photo, but it doesn't really belong here. He's a derp, not a d**k.

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#40

This Guy Was Screaming At Me For The Whole 3 Minutes I Was Packing My Scooter. Loud Af. Pretty Badass Looking Imo

This Guy Was Screaming At Me For The Whole 3 Minutes I Was Packing My Scooter. Loud Af. Pretty Badass Looking Imo

NoYou5184 Report

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Loverboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That bird will find where you live and call the gang to s**t on all your windows.

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#41

My Eyes Are Up Here

My Eyes Are Up Here

Radarnikko Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This website censors words like “c**p” but it’s completely fine for them to have this picture of boobies posted here? Atrocious! /s

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#42

Really, No Caption Is Needed Here

Really, No Caption Is Needed Here

Shadow647 Report

#43

Both Seats Are Occupied

Both Seats Are Occupied

Jacksqi Report

#44

The Cockatoos Here Have A Problem With The Lawyers

The Cockatoos Here Have A Problem With The Lawyers

milkaddictedkitty Report

#45

Today I Was Rushing Around Because I Had To Get To The Airport. And Then I Hear Something In My Wood Stove Pipe. This Guy Is Lucky That Only Two Screws Held The Bottom Of The Pipe On. I Am Happy He Is Free!

Today I Was Rushing Around Because I Had To Get To The Airport. And Then I Hear Something In My Wood Stove Pipe. This Guy Is Lucky That Only Two Screws Held The Bottom Of The Pipe On. I Am Happy He Is Free!

BlackSeranna Report

#46

I Think This Belongs Here

I Think This Belongs Here

Salaxor Report

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#47

❤️💙 Cardinal Being Angry At A Blue Jay 💙❤️

❤️💙 Cardinal Being Angry At A Blue Jay 💙❤️

Kuma_Paws_376 Report

#49

They Just Agreed On A Way To Simultaneously Break And Shit On The Window

They Just Agreed On A Way To Simultaneously Break And Shit On The Window

GiordanoBette Report

#50

Figured Out Why My Clothes Haven't Been Drying

Figured Out Why My Clothes Haven't Been Drying

reddit.com Report

#52

When You Want To Play Backgammon But You're Overlord Has Other Plans

When You Want To Play Backgammon But You're Overlord Has Other Plans

OliveThePenguin Report

#53

These Are My Domestic Geese. Spikey Has Angel Wing Syndrome In Both Wings, Matthew Grey Goose Gubler Is Not Amused By Anything And Bleach Just Screams All The Time. It’s Like Living With A Tornado Siren

These Are My Domestic Geese. Spikey Has Angel Wing Syndrome In Both Wings, Matthew Grey Goose Gubler Is Not Amused By Anything And Bleach Just Screams All The Time. It’s Like Living With A Tornado Siren

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#54

Thank You For The Immense Amount Of Love Shown To Spikey, Bleach And Matthew Grey Goose Gubler. Here Is A Selfie They Recently Took. As Always, Bleach Is The One Screaming Into The Void, And Matthew Grey Goose Gubler Is The One Who Looks So Mad That His Hemorrhoids Are Gonna Pop

Thank You For The Immense Amount Of Love Shown To Spikey, Bleach And Matthew Grey Goose Gubler. Here Is A Selfie They Recently Took. As Always, Bleach Is The One Screaming Into The Void, And Matthew Grey Goose Gubler Is The One Who Looks So Mad That His Hemorrhoids Are Gonna Pop

iseeksilence Report

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#55

Egret Standing On An Anti-Bird Platform, Not Giving A Crap

Egret Standing On An Anti-Bird Platform, Not Giving A Crap

jamesbond000111 Report

#57

Venetian Pigeon In A Local Store Sitting On Some Raw Pasta

Venetian Pigeon In A Local Store Sitting On Some Raw Pasta

flaminhotchick Report

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malaixa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not every day you see a pigeon making a scene in a local store. I guess that pigeon really wanted to make a fusilli over his meal choice. But let's hope he didn't ruffle any feathers with his impromptu pasta perch.

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#58

Finally Figured Out Why I Keep Coming Home To Little Poops All Over The House

Finally Figured Out Why I Keep Coming Home To Little Poops All Over The House

Megalapteryx95 Report

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David Paterson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

European blackbird. Quite friendly. They hang around when you're gardening in the hope of eating any grubs you dig up.

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#59

He Probably Is

He Probably Is

thatoneguy9988 Report

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Amy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone heard the Law and Order sound when they read the screen right?

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#61

Just Want To Scroll In Peace

Just Want To Scroll In Peace

nemisette Report

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Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i was waiting for the ringnecks to show up. my little brat gets into everything

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#62

As I Was Pulling Away From A Job, These 2 Pricks Decided To Occupy My Toolbox And Refuse Leave

As I Was Pulling Away From A Job, These 2 Pricks Decided To Occupy My Toolbox And Refuse Leave

Rykedan Report

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Bree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Muscovy ducks: https://fortmyers.floridaweekly.com/articles/misunderstood-mistreated-maligned-muscovy-2/

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#64

He Must Be Fixing Them?

He Must Be Fixing Them?

hominemferreum Report

#65

I Left The Room For Two Minutes, Heard A Squawk, And Returned To This Look Of Absolute Triumph

I Left The Room For Two Minutes, Heard A Squawk, And Returned To This Look Of Absolute Triumph

clemfairie Report

#67

This Bird I Took A Picture Of's Shadow Reveals His True Personality

This Bird I Took A Picture Of's Shadow Reveals His True Personality

Akai_Hana Report

#68

This A-Hole And Its Partner Are Destroying My Trim

This A-Hole And Its Partner Are Destroying My Trim

LiquidDreamtime Report

#69

Newborn Honeyguide Chicks Are Equipped With Deadly Hooks On Their Beaks. Immediately After Hatching, They Stab And Slaughter The Other Non-Honeyguide Chicks In The Nest

Newborn Honeyguide Chicks Are Equipped With Deadly Hooks On Their Beaks. Immediately After Hatching, They Stab And Slaughter The Other Non-Honeyguide Chicks In The Nest

Pardusco Report

#70

Stole The Broccoli Right Off My Plate!

Stole The Broccoli Right Off My Plate!

DesNewmanZA Report

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#71

Not Sure If This Allowed, But Look At This Dick Respecting Social Distancing

Not Sure If This Allowed, But Look At This Dick Respecting Social Distancing

Tgreezie Report

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KittyGotClaws
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as he's not drawing a pentagram in that circle, we should be all right.

#72

Meet The Birds Who Cut Me Off To And From My Apartment Every Day

Meet The Birds Who Cut Me Off To And From My Apartment Every Day

iqueefkief Report

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KittyGotClaws
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've got to learn to stand up for yourself. Get out of that car and show them who's boss!

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#73

He Threw His Breakfast Dish And Made A Huge Mess. Then Did It Again When I Gave Him A New Dish. The Bowl Broke The Second Time And He Cheered

He Threw His Breakfast Dish And Made A Huge Mess. Then Did It Again When I Gave Him A New Dish. The Bowl Broke The Second Time And He Cheered

z0mbiegrl Report

#75

Marqi, You Missing Something?ospreys Snag A Grocery Store Worker's Apron

Marqi, You Missing Something?ospreys Snag A Grocery Store Worker's Apron

tmgieger Report

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Cara
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Errr are we sure the remains of the grocery store worker aren’t in the nest too?

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#76

Top 10 Pictures Taken Seconds Before A Disaster

Top 10 Pictures Taken Seconds Before A Disaster

MissGymlow Report

#78

I'm Just Going To Wait In Ambush For My Mum

I'm Just Going To Wait In Ambush For My Mum

fredericdrgt456rft Report

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#79

These Two Mfs Entered My House While On Their Search For A Good Nesting Spot. And Then Pooped In One Of The Bedrooms

These Two Mfs Entered My House While On Their Search For A Good Nesting Spot. And Then Pooped In One Of The Bedrooms

soap_muncher Report

#81

The Sign Did Nothing

The Sign Did Nothing

stevemandudeguy Report

#82

You Just Know Something Is Going Down Here

You Just Know Something Is Going Down Here

ajl009 Report

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Tushar Roy Mukherjee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Bowery King called. There is a package that Camaro is transporting to the East Dock at 1900 hours. We need you two to keep an eye on the convoy.

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#83

This Is Bill. Bill Likes To Eat My Fish. Bill And I Have A Love/Hate Relationship

This Is Bill. Bill Likes To Eat My Fish. Bill And I Have A Love/Hate Relationship

Sharon411 Report

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Purple light
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like an ancient Japanese painting. (If you ignore the wicker seat)

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#85

Woodstock No

Woodstock No

Procrastin8r1 Report

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#86

That’s Okay I Don’t Want The Rest Of My Tea

That’s Okay I Don’t Want The Rest Of My Tea

kludgewerwer234 Report

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RaRaPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s a bird on the clock app that just loves chamomile tea. It’s cute to watch her guzzle it down (didn’t know that’s okay for them to drink).

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#87

This Phot Was Taken Before He Walked In My Head And Took A Shit On Me

This Phot Was Taken Before He Walked In My Head And Took A Shit On Me

dank_memer108 Report

#89

This Little Asshole

This Little Asshole

citrineandmoonstone Report

#90

Hi. I Broke Your Fire Remote. Need Dis Piece?

Hi. I Broke Your Fire Remote. Need Dis Piece?

reddit.com Report

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KittyGotClaws
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can start fires with a remote nowadays? Boy am i behind the times.

#92

Reddit Meet Macca

Reddit Meet Macca

Gaming_Birb Report

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kath morgan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They love to sit on glasses, ours was the same way with my dad. Lovely colours :)

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#93

Dick Bird Wasted A Month Of Data

Dick Bird Wasted A Month Of Data

LCDRtomdodge Report

#94

We Don't Own A Bird

We Don't Own A Bird

OneGizmoIz Report

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YTK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandparents found a bird on a Chevrolet once, couldn’t find an owner, and took “Chevie” in as a pet

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#95

Thought She Fit Here Cuz She Is Always Rude And Mean

Thought She Fit Here Cuz She Is Always Rude And Mean

XxDaBerserkerxX Report