The best advice on there is to move, file for divorce and then tell him about the pregnancy.

It is sad to lose the pregnancy, but it showed you a lot. The issue isn't the MIL, it's the husband. Why on earth would have a child with a man that you know doesn't respect your wishes and bull dozes over you. You say you want to be a SAHM, but your husband has A LOT of indicators that your boundaries don't matter at all, once you are financially dependent on him you'll be trapped. Things are only going to get worse. Don't have a child with this man.

this lady is literally afraid to tell her husband she's pregnant. that's the biggest red flag out there.

She’s the ahole for staying married to this momma’s boy after her miscarriage. Now she’s going to have to coparent with this dynamic-divorced or not.

Reading things like this makes me so thankful for my SO’s mom. He talks to her all the time and they are very close. I even went back to my same dr I had with my oldest during my most recent pregnancy, and although I knew she started working for one of the OB doctors on our area, I had no idea that it was the same one I was seeing. We wanted the baby to be a surprise (his family knew I had a tubal after my, then youngest (9yo), was born so they always thought we wouldn’t have kids of our own together. When she did find out and found out I was going where she worked, she never intruded. I did tell him to go find her and see if she was busy during one ultrasound so she could be there, as my mom was also present for one by then. She was so happy to be included. She had to fill in for one of the assistants once and asked me if it was okay for her to be in the room for my checkup, if I wasn’t comfortable she’d find someone else. We also asked her to be in the delivery room.

Fictional or not, the disfunction is scary. It's not even like the husband has a personality, he's just a trooping soldier in his martinet mother's lead character life. I'd grab a plane ticket and go.

OP and husband slept apart for months and it doesn't seem husband was upset by the arrangement. This marriage is long over and she needs to move out and home with her family. See if ex contact OP and if not, never tell him about the child, forgo any support, because the MIL will conspire to steal that child with her son.

This will be a repeat of your first pregnancy. Your husband (?) And his (wife ?) Mother . Have shown you who they are. Believe them and run far away, get a divorce and keep child's existence secret. They will try to be his/her parents, cutting you out of their family

How could you NOT feel like a surrogate for Mommy and Sons baby. These weird mother-son relationships freak me out, there doesn't have to be sex going on for it to be considered an incestuous relationship and not enough people are aware of that. I believe the term is covert incestuous relationship or something like that and it's disturbing as hell. Parents STOP using your children as surrogate spouses because that's what is happening. Either the parent no longer feels a close emotional connection with their partner or they don't currently have a partner so they groom their child to take that space in their life. It's a disgusting thing to do to your child.

This is too complex of a problem for social media quarterbacks.The only advice on here that's viable is counseling, ASAP! Either by herself, or couple's counseling if she's really intent on saving the marriage. Her actions clearly show that she's traumatized, and the husband needs to be made to understand that and WHY.

My ex-MIL said I would marry her son "over her dead body" during a phone call with my not-yet and loudly enough that everyone heard! I laughed and said "well, THAT went well." I had an old-fashioned "Western" showdown with my not-FIL after he called me outside. Lol! I really miss my ex-FIL. We were married by a JP so no issues there. On our first anniversary, MIL sent a Hallmark card along the lines of if the H ever felt like he needed it, he could always move back home. H's comment was "what the hell is she thinking." After reading the card, I called MIL and clearly said "cut the effing umbilical cord. He sleeps with me now. Then I told H that he had 24 hours to decide to stay married to me or run back to his mommy. Our marriage ended after 13 years, my decision for personal reasons and, as expected, he ran right back to MIL. NEVER marry a mommy's boy unless you have VERY SOLID relationship limits!!

Hoping for an update on this one. Really hoping she goes to be with her family and has the baby in safety and secrecy. She can tell them *after* its born, so they can't take ownership of the whole experience. She can also take stock of her real feelings for her husband, who has yet to cut the umbilical cord with his mommy and likely never will. The fact she's been sleeping separate for months and he doesn't seem to care is a massive sign how utterly pathetic he is as a husband.

Wow.. what a mess. Its encouraging to see so many people push them into the therapy they desperately need. But I just dont see this ending well at all.

She's an idiot for keeping his child when he's always going to be attached to his mum's tit instead of finding someone else. Now she has to have those two pieces of shite around forever

If Joel won't agree to couple's counseling, go by yourself. I wouldn't be able to stay married in this scenario and I certainly wouldn't want my child growing up around your MIL. Your husband will NEVER put you first, I agree with many on here.....you are someone to cook, clean and have sex with. You deserve more and your child deserves more. Do you want your child growing up and thinking this is the way men are supposed to be around their mothers? Do you want to raise a Momma's boy or a daughter that accepts it and is treated the way you are being treated? If you stay around Joel (and his MOTHER) this is what will happen.

This sounds like the 1998 movie Hush with Jessica Lang

Personally I’d divorce Sid mommy’s boys move far away and never tell him about the baby cos the second that comes out all he’ll will break loose n her life n the child’s will be a living nightmare she could always say she had a one night stand but mommy n son are useless to her mil is over bearing manipulative and controlling and not a person gone needs in their life at all

Sounds like Joel married a copy of his mother, given the OP's feelings of proprietary ownership over her future child.

No.