Hey Teenage/Depressed/Anxious Pandas, Can You Help Me Pls?

So I just took a teenager depression and anxiety test and apparently I got severe. But I’m only 13, and they all say school is the easiest part of life. Will I ever succeed if I can’t take 7th grade? And also what are signs of depression or anxiety? Btw, I can’t talk to anyone about it, you guys are my only friend when it comes to this. Help pls.

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I am sorry you are going through this. 7th grade is a tough time under normal circumstances, but dealing with anxiety/depression on top of it is brutal.
I am not a teenager anymore, but I have been dealing with anxiety/depression since I was a teen. There are some things that can help:
-Journaling - try to write about your feelings every day. This will help you to get them out and to process them. It will also help you be able to see patterns in how you are feeling in relation to things that are happening around you.
-Mindfulness - Pay close attention when you start to have an anxiety attack or feel depression come on. What triggered it? What are you feeling phsically in that moment? This is a good time to journal amd write about it. Once you identify your triggers and know the physical signs, you can start to get ahead of it.
For example: I start feeling knots in my stomach and get heart palpitations when I become anxious. Sometimes these things will start before I feel the emotions come on. By being mindful of those physical symptoms, I can start some self care and it helps to keep the anxiety attacks less severe.
-Deep breathing - I know this sounds really dumb, but it works. When you start to feel anxious or depressed, breathe in through your nose for a count of ten, hold it for a count of ten, and then breathe out through your mouth for a count of ten. This will get you focused on something other than the anxiety and the extra oxygen will help to calm you.
-Avoid triggers - Once you have identified your triggers, try to avoid them as much as possible. Does a certain song make you really sad? Don't listen to it. Do loud noises bother you? Try to stay in places where it is quiet.
-Learn to self-sooth - When you have been triggered and you feel it coming on, know what helps you to calm down and feel better. Take a hot bath, listen to some soothing music, watch a funny movie....whatever works for you.
-Focus on the positive - I know this is difficult. But try to think of at least one thing every day that you are grateful for. It doesn't even have to be something huge. It could be that you are grateful that they didn't serve sloppy joes in the cafeteria today.
Also take pride in your accomplishments, no matter how small they seem. When you are anxious and depressed, even getting up and making it to school/work is a huge accomplishment. So if you did that today, then be proud of yourself!
-Take each day a little at a time - Try to focus on what is directly in front of you so that you do not become overwhelmed with things you have no control over. Take it minute by minute or hour by hour. Don't let your mind wander to the what-ifs. For every negaative what-if, there is also a positive one. What if I fall on my face in the courtyard and everyone laughs at me? Ok, well what if I tell a really funny joke and everyone likes it?

I hope this is helpful for you. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk. I would like to know how you are doing.

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Jynxiecat

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Sanchi 2 years ago

Thank you so much, I will keep this in mind

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I wasn't diagnosed until college (we went through a cardiologist's office first because I was having intense chest pains.) So, in addition to what Jynxiecat said here are a few other things.

1. If possible, look into therapy. I never did this route but I have a friend who swore by it with her anxiety. I went the medication route and it helped me with everyday stressors.
2. My mom did the 5-4-3-2-1 method to help me settle down. It starts with naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one you can taste.
3. My boyfriend does breathing exercises with me. Inhale through your nose for a mental count of four, hold that breath for a count of seven, and release over a count of eight, and repeat.

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actaeon cross

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Sanchi 2 years ago

I’ll make a note of this. Thank you

2points

Hey, I see some people gave some great elaborate answers, and I just wanted to add one thing: In your description you said, "I can’t talk to anyone about it, you guys are my only friend when it comes to this." Which sucks for you, of course. But it also means that things will likely get better when you're a bit older.

I know that while you're in school, stuck with the same people every day, it can feel like a trap... unless of course you get along super well and they’re all friends (which sadly isn't the case for you)... especially if your family isn't supportive either. This situation will change once you're older and independent, live your own life, etc. So hang in there! They say school is the easiest part of life -- for some people, it's the hardest.

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Bored Retsuko

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Sanchi 2 years ago

Thank you, I really appreciate it

2points

I am someone who most likely has anxiety, but I'm in the same boat as in can't tell people. So don't take any of my advice super seriously, as I may be wrong. Whenever someone is ill or getting yelled at, I feel the same thing they're feeling. I either start "feeling sick" as well and thinking "are they contagious? Am I sick?" Which happens often now as my mom has a really bad cold. If someone nearby is getting yelled at I start crying or get stressed, I feel like I'm next or as if I'm the one getting yelled at. In addition to that I also have heath scares, as in random start pains in my chest which makes me feel like I'm going to die, or if I have some sort of tumor. I'm scared about opening up to people about problems such as these, as well as interests and hobbies for fear of being shunned and shamed, whether it be a stereotype (like my fear of telling some people I have gacha club, or some of my favorite characters who are commonly simped for). I often take a huge notice whenever I voicecrack or lisp, or whenever my mouth is moving weirdly too. I feel like people notice and judge me for it. I apologize a lot too, for things that are barely my fault or entirely not my fault, like someone else getting in trouble, or when my mom broke a glass cup because I moved it to drink out of it, she knocked it off the table and it shattered, I ran down the stairs practically begging sorry even though it was barely my fault. Other symptoms of anxiety often also aren't your typical "people are judging me". Sometimes I feel detached from my friends and family, like I'm not myself, or my emotions sometimes being blunt or null. A sudden urge of nervous exitedness happens to me too, and the only way I can describe it is the need to happy scream like a girl meeting a pop star. Certain things trigger it for me, let it be a song, the want to do something, or a character from a movie or show I can't stop thinking about. But I'm not sure if that's normal or not. I also overthink a ton which can ruin a euphoric moment, like take my gender dysphoria. Whenever I feel happy that I look androgynous, I start to worry when I'll look like my assigned gender at birth again after reflecting on it, and the moment is over. Oh and not to mention randomly crying for no apparent reason. Like I said some of this may be wrong as I am undiagnosed, but I am almost certain I have an anxiety disorder. So do not take these things I experience as a diagnosis as I am not myself. But I hope this helps and I wish you luck with this♡♡

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Hxllokxty (They/it)

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Acestarx (They/them) (Submission author) 2 years ago

Woah this is longer than I thought it would be lol

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Just my take. I have anxiety and depression. Battled them my entire life. In my personal experience school was tougher and harder for me to do than working and being an "adult". The pressure just wasn't the same after school. I'm sorry I couldn't help out more

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Moonerdizzle

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Sanchi 2 years ago

You all helped a lot actually. I hope you find a way of dealing with the anxiety and depression.

2points

I have the same issues as you but mine are more severe, and I have had a few times where I have wished to be dead and my mom thinks I’m being dramatic.

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Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him)

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Sanchi 2 years ago

Aah yea my mom too.

1point

“They” are wrong. School is not the easiest part of life. The challenges of life change. What we enjoy what we endure are personal.

You can certainly be a successful adult. I’m curious, how do you define “successful?” Healthy relationships? financial security? Power? Fame? Leaving the town you’re from? The possibilities are endless.

It is wise to use the 5 steps mentioned to bring you back to the present moment. Depression is sadness about the past. Anxiety is worrying about the future. When either of those hit you hard it is good to remember that you currently don’t exist in either of those times. Letting go of the hope to change the past is freeing.

One of the greatest tools that I’ve learned and relearned 1000 times is not to cling too tightly to the picture frame of what my life is “supposed” to look like. Life is a ride. Less like highway and more like white water rafting. We steer what we can, but often have to respond and adapt to where it’s taking us. You can’t fight every current. It’s important to save your energy for the ones that align with your morals.

Journaling is always a good idea. It’s a great way to identify what those morals are, what triggers depression or anxiety and what tools work for you. Like I said, it’s not as simple as learning them. It’s remembering them and to put them into action.

Also, it’s great that you are reaching out. Please don’t stop. I hear you when you say there is nobody irl that you can talk to about it.
As hard as it is at this age try to take note of anybody that you may be able to be vulnerable with eventually. Take your time divulging small things to see if they do the same and trust can be built. Letting somebody see and know the real you can be terrifying, but worth it to eventually be fully known and loved.

Also, I know it seems like most the other 7th graders (or people for that matter) are happy all the time and know are what they are doing. -they aren’t and they don’t. We aren’t even meant to be happy all of the time. When I feel sad and then sad because I’m sad I like to imagine everybody as clowns. Just laughing and smiling all of the time at every mundane thing. It cheers me up a bit.

Last but not least: speak kindly to yourself. In your mind speak as gently and sweetly as you would to a small child. There is not an age when a person stops being worthy of being spoken to kindly - so don’t worry, you haven’t reached it.

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