Hey Pandas, What’s Your Zombie Apocalypse Plan? (Closed)

#1

Give up and join the new rebellion! Humans are overrated

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30points

Mis Stake she/her 🇫🇮🇬🇧

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Hate to break the news guys. But I'd be using you for target practice! Nothing personal but you would be Zombies? And maybe just shoot Rob Zombie for good measure! Unless he is making another one of those marvelous Munster's movies! Most his stuff is violent c**p. But that one is a Jewel!

9points

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#2

Find a group of dependable people, find the nearest defensible area, barricade the doors, see what I can weaponize, check if my phone works. In that order. If we're stuck there for a while, I would assign everyone jobs based on skillsets, create a plan in case we get attacked, and once the coast is clear, take out a small group to look for resources (food, water, blankets, etc).

That's the plan, anyway. Realistically, I'd probably trip over my own shoelaces and get eaten immediately.

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25points

A Wild Bean (they/them/any)

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Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

I like your honesty in your last sentence.

21points

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#3

I grew up on a farm. I already know how to grow food, hunt food, and be quiet in the woods. So, my plan is just sit back and wait for everyone else to run out of bullets (can you tell I'm in the US?), then sell my potatoes and beans as the new gold. I have nothing about my home that screams "Great bunker for end of the world!" so it's highly unlikely anyone'll even try to break through the fence. I allow our perimeter to be overgrown with nasty stuff on purpose (ever seen poison ivy thick as your arm?). And so forth and so on.

TLDR: Stay put, live like my gramps did 100 years ago, watch the world burn.

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20points

Leo Domitrix

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Trish Panda 1 year ago

The zombies are gunna get you for sure

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#4

I'm going to super stoned, eat all the ice cream in the house and then just walk outside and be one of the first to go. I have the survival skills of a panda raised in captivity and won't pretend otherwise.

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16points

Id row

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Man I'm taking down as many zombies as I can! Then take ice cream and pie breaks in between!

4points

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#5

suicide. I'd rather be dead than eat your head

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14points

Vermonta

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Lotekguy 1 year ago

According to the M*A*S*H* theme song, it's painless, so sign me up.

2points

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#6

They really aren't that fast, just walk away.

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14points

MaximumKarmaSaint

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TotallyNOTaFox 1 year ago

Works for Romero zombies, bad attitude if they are Snyder ones though

10points

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#7

Being immunocompromised, I’d probably get sick from an infected splinter or something equally stupid and die before the zombies even get a chance to eat me.

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13points

Duckie Measles

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Sreelakshmi Arun 1 year ago

loll

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#8

If a zombie outbreak occurred, I would steal someone's boat and sail to the Quinngua Valley in Greenland, it's the only forested part of Greenland, and the Vikings settled there for thousands of years.

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8points

Damian DeGiovine

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Trish Panda 1 year ago

You mean you would get lost at sea and die of starvation or drowning as you have no boating experience

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#9

steal all the animals from the animal shelters and live out my days in the Vermont wilderness

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8points

Everest the bookworm

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Thegoodboi 1 year ago

Modern day Noah, I like it

8points

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#10

Take my longbow, arrows, carving knives, general supplies, water purifier and plant identification books and then run off into one of the national parks near Kitsap.

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6points

crowspectre (he/they)

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crowspectre (he/they) (Submission author) 1 year ago

Actually on second thought I'd probably start to go insane if I was alone so I'd also steal a handful of my friends and my dogs

8points

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#11

In my dreams:

A: Runs away to a remote island in the middle of nowhere with some friends and family and lives there for the rest of my life

B: Get supplies from the nearby mall and board up in there with a team of people, eventually murder all the zombies and become heroes(this would totally happen...totally totally)

Realistically:

A: I'm running away from some zombies and I trip and fall off of a cliff...dies

B: Goes insane and tries to be friends with zombies...goes about as well as you would expect

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5points

Percabeth Forever (she/they)

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

The malls are not that busy like back in the 80's and the 90's! And they shut down the arcades. You could live off of Chic fil a and corn dogs for a while? Love those waffle fries!

2points

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#12

I actually have an answer for this! My best friend and I both agreed on a mutual meeting place within the country if any type of Apocalypse occurs. We would rather fend for our lives together than separately.

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5points

Kriiiiiiiip

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Larzipan 1 year ago

I love how prepared you two are, but what conversation led to this agreement?

4points

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#13

I would get tons of supplies and run into the mountains

It's a common fact that zombies can't climb.

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5points

Damian DeGiovine

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Lotekguy 1 year ago

Never saw World War Z, didja?

3points

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#14

I would plant plants in my front yard in a linear fashion to defend me from the hoard. Ill make sure to have lawn mowers set up facing the zombies as a last resort. Eventually I would do the same in the back yard around my long skinny pool, as well as on my roof! Using the power of the sun, The plants will save me.

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5points

Trish Panda

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Doodles1983 1 year ago

Double Pea Shooters!!!

8points

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#15

What i would do is find a random zombie and bite it.

If it turns into a human, i would work on a cure

If I turn into a zombie, that's it for me

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5points

Manaswiny B

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

That's it for you then!

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#16

Gather as many survivors as possible, and bring them all to one place that is close to a store. Food, Water, and maybe even clothing problems are solved. Lock every door that leads to the outside. If the food or water runs out, pile into a bus and get to the nearest other place with food. And always remember that anything can be used as a weapon.

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4points

SCP Panda [REDACTED]

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

I could work with this guy!

4points

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#17

Since it's unlikely it will start anywhere near the village I live in:

Plan A) Cut the forests around for logs and build a pallisade using the outer line of buildings as wall. Power can be provided by the renewable sources we have around, food comes from our local farmers. We also have some hunters and metal workshops, so weapons won't be a problem either.

Plan B) Meet up with my best friend, grab some of the guns her father has on his shooting range and find a remote, defendable position that isn't too obvious and would attract a lot of other people (like supermarkets) - probably one of the old mines around.

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3points

TotallyNOTaFox

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Damian DeGiovine 1 year ago

if it gets cold where you live, the freezing frost will kill all the zombies.

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#18

Get my family to our off-grid cabin up in the hills. Then, wait for as much of the initial mayhem to die down, and head north. Find a new place to settle down up there, holing up during the summer, and venturing out when it is freezing. (Dead flesh still freezes solid, even if the frozen creature does not die). Stock up on supplies, break as many frozen zombies as possible, and return to the crib before the spring thaw. Stay heavily armed, vigilant, and stocked. Learn how to repair and maintain everything we use, as well as how to cultivate food in greenhouses. I think that about covers it.

Yup, as soon as I get that off-grid cabin built, I'll be ready.

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3points

Kevin the Manager

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Yep!

2points

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#19

Since I tend to think about these situations a lot, here's my plan:

- Get 1-2 people I know well
- Gather stuff from my house that's useful ( Weapons, food, water, etc )
- Drive or walk to a remote, forested area
- Make a camouflaged base out of dirt, moss, etc ( Using those survival videos I watch as a reference, obviously )
- Start rationing food and begin to plan on scouting around for things to eat and drink
- Begin my life as a forest badass /hj

Oh, and for any zombie encounters, I'd either shoot them or if I need to preserve
ammo, I'd be sneaky and try to cut their head off from behind.

By the way, is it obvious I play The Last of Us?

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3points

Constant State Of Omor

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#20

I will just move outside and start eating grass. I don't think zombies eat rabbits

Otherwise, I am rabbit stew LOL

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3points

Danger Bunny (She/Her)

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Hossenfeffer! Another name for Rabbit stew! Just ask Bugs Bunny!

2points

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#21

I'll be going out in the first wave. Who would want to live like that? It would smell like a thousand dead camel's arseholes. Unknown amounts of time between showers, and they'd probably be cold. Scrounging for food. F@#k that mess

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3points

Jason Webb

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Good luck with that! I'm stomping zombies butt until my last breath! Scrape up the zombies a little air freshener spray and some incense. Your good to go until the nuclear power plants blow because nobody is tending them!

2points

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#22

I live on a farm so I feel like it would be easier for me than most to survive. First, I’d fortify the chicken coop and duck pen so that I can have a reliable source of eggs. Then, I’d kill the sheep for food, and kill most of the horses except for one or two for transportation. I’d move into the barn loft (it has lots of hiding places), and I’d use the stalls as separate rooms for keeping weapons. There’s also a pond on the farm, so I’d keep my fishing rods and use that for food as well. I’d fortify the vegetable gardens and plant more food besides just watermelons lol. I’d keep my donkeys as guard animals and I’d keep my dogs for moral support.

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3points

One Happy Doggo

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#23

1) Assuming I'm at my home, Get what I need (Some food and water, pocket knife, clothes, ect), If not, get the most useful things in the surrounding area.
2) Then, go to my local bookstore. Get books on survival and plant identification, as well as dealing with wildlife encounters. Also go to a camping/survival store and medical supply store.
3) Steal a car. Nothing personal, just every man for himself in an apocalypse
4) Invite my friends and family to come with me, obviously.
5) travel to a remote location in the mountains with whoever accepts, making sure I'm far from humanity.
6) Assign each person a job based on their unique skill sets, eventually building walls around the small civilization and picking up and survivors that happen along.
7) live out my days in peace.

Realistically, though, I would just die within the span of the first hour :)

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3points

Kayla Geeza

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Wow you went out pretty quickly!

2points

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#24

First, I would take my family (if they aren't zombies) and buy guns and weapons.

Then we would go to Target and kill the zombies in there and board up the place like doors and windows maybe and then live there 'till we die.

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2points

Me

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TotallyNOTaFox 1 year ago

Which is probably the plan of thousands of others, just saying

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#25

Get bitten because it’s definitely a no win situation battling them.

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2points

Richard Ross

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Thegoodboi 1 year ago

That's the spirit! 😀

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#26

Do nothing, because they're not real. Am I playing this game correctly? :)

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2points

VonBlade

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Not really! You would probably be a goner for sure!

1point

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#27

i'd take all my loved ones (friends, family) and make a resistance with a cool name or something. then we'd make a plan to survive and we'd probably go underground or something until the zombie craze dies down

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2points

shanila.pheonix_

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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago

I love how you say "craze" as if the reason everyone's becoming zombies is just a trend.

10points

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#28

I would get my dog and a few friends, find a secluded area with a water source and build a fort there.

I'd realistically panic and probably die within five hours.

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2points

Rosie!

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#29

Hm. Got food, got water, got firearms and ammo. Would need more alcohol, though. Big run to the nearest liquor store to raid it, and take all the tobacco too. Big plinking party shooting zombies, drinking, smoking, and eating snacks. I’m too old to run at this point.

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2points

Mrs. Walker

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

And don't forget the BBQ!

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#30

Start my new business. All American Zombie exterminator's. Even in a Zombie apocalypse you may still need an occupation! Maybe even get a government contract if Republicans are in office. Democrats would be running through the streets screaming about Zombie rights. Just mistake them for Zombies! Problem solved. It would be understandable especially if they look like Janet Reno or Nancy Pelosi. They do look corpses walking! Of course at this point Janet Reno would be a Zombie. One ugly very Zombie! That woman was peel the paint off the walls and hide your mirrors if you don't want them broken ugly!

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2points

Bad Ass69

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Bad Ass69 (Submission author) 1 year ago

A true American!

3points

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#31

To just let them take me. 'Nuff said.

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1point

Echo

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Quote from Stan Lee! Nuff said! Up vote for the Stan Lee quote! 👍

4points

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#32

find other people and pretend to be an idoit

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1point

ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ (tatum they/them)

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

What do you mean. Pretend?

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#33

Zombies are nothing to fear they're honestly better for the earth than we are, we kill people in every possible way we can think of, we start war and conflict, and drop massive piles of trash int the environment. so honestly we are the real monsters here.

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Damian DeGiovine

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Organized Chaos 1 year ago

this is not how you play the game

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#34

I haven't put a lot of thought into it, but I'd definitely try to find or contact my cousin. He's a prepper and he does contract work for the US military, so he probably has a good plan. He also has way too many guns, and those would probably be useful.

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1point

fair_weather_rose (she/they)

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Trish Panda 1 year ago

But what use does he have in you?

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#35

Pack up the family and head to my Dad's house. He is a back-to-land prepper and lives in the middle of nowhere, in farmhouse on a hill, grows most of his own food, and he has an massive gun collection, a stock pile of ammo and everything he needs to reload. Also, several bows, swords, axes, and, for some reason, a polearm.

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1point

Rachel Reynolds

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Good ol Pop! What a guy.

2points

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#36

Well, I don't think I'd be a great fighter, and I quite enjoy having electricity and internet, and fresh food, and things like that, so probably become a billionaire before the apocalypse starts, and then build a well defended house in the mountains, fully stocked, and powered by like solar panels and windmills and things.

However, that's frankly unrealistic, so I'd just hope for the best and try not to die.

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1point

mysterious(he/they, maybe?)

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#37

Ok so here me out… immediately go to Home Depot ( or equivalent) then borrow (steal) a massive truckload of lumber, metal, building materials, you name it. There are infinite things you can do with some resources and a little experience.

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1point

Ryan Hailey

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

I hear ya!

1point

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#38

I’d grab my recurve and arrows. And head to my partner first. He has access to HGVs and trailers. Grab food, fuel, medical, trucks and trailers and water supplies and then head to my ex hubby’s (we’re all friends.) estate where there is high fencing and multiple shops, including hardware and furniture. I’d make and shoot arrows, ex would strengthen defences and forage and stuff (Boy Scout!), partner would trick out an HGV battle vehicle.

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1point

Doodles1983

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#39

Ohohoho- you have no idea.

1) Locate the important people (those dear to me. Anyone who is unreachable, I check up on them via text or email.)

2) Abandon house. Im not sure how obvious the warning for an apocalypse would be, but either way I would take any necessary things. (Money, imperishable food, keepsakes, a journal and a few pens, clothes, and a blanket.)

3) This should have been said earlier, but I’d request an adult to make a trip to the store for supplies. Maybe the store itself could be a safe house, but I’d think no considering the perishables. The smell of rotting meat would attract zombies, no?

4) Have my parents communicate with someone who might have a bunker, or multiple people. While they do this, we might still be at home trying to keep quiet. I’d be charging all of our devices and charging blocks, as well as helping my sister pack.

After that, I’m surely not going to be in charge anymore, regardless of how useful I may be. Adults like to take charge. Especially extroverted ones. They’d probably enlist me as part of the gardening team or therapy team.

OH, DUH, I’D BRING A BIBLE LOL. Sorry, remembered that just now. I need to make a list so I don’t forget if an apocalypse really happens 🤔

Anyway, I’d probably fit somewhere among the gardeners, therapists, and entertainers. I wouldn’t be crucial to keeping us alive, but I’d be good for keeping everyone from losing it.

Of course, if I get infected, I’d be one heck of a chill zombie. Might try to eat someone’s brain once, but if you whap me on the (left) arm hard enough, I’ll get sad and won’t attack you if it means I can use your craft supplies.

Ideally.

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1point

P.C.

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Grabbing the Bible is important. I don't care who you are! I keep one close

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#40

Get on a really high mountain and barricade it.

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Angrypineapple

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

I want to do that zombie apocalypse or not! 😆

2points

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#41

Yup, just enough to get of out this planet

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HelluvaHedgehogAlien

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Damian DeGiovine 1 year ago

Hello, Hello, yeah is this Elon musk?, if not then you're not leaving the planet anytime soon

-1point

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#42

Avoid big cities, and fortify a small area like a farm with a small group. Big cities like Toronto or Montreal (for Canada), or New York or LA (for the USA), might be ample in supplies like medicine or food, but there would be millions of zombies in them, effectively making them a death trap.

Work on things like cardio, lose weight, learn how to properly use weapons like firearms and bladed/blunt weapons without risk of injury, eat in moderation, and only occasionally leave to fetch supplies. Sometimes, surviving isn't being the best zombie killer, but knowing how to avoid danger.

This is also depending on what kind of zombies we would be getting, and how the infection spreads (through bites/scratches only, or death without the brain being destroyed). The slower zombies, like those of Night of the Living Dead, the Resident Evil games, or The Walking Dead are especially dangerous if they box you in.

Zombies like those from the Dawn of the Dead remake, World War Z, or Train to Busan, would be much harder to survive because of their speed. Even worse if they are smarter zombies like those from #Alive (an excellent South Korean film on Netflix), or the Hawking's/T-800's from Zombieland Double Tap.

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1point

CG

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

I do most of that already and it ain't even a Zombie apocalypse!

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#43

GOOD, get out of dodge , then hit and run warfare like the Apache, for supplies and the odd spot of zombie killing 👍

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1point

Richard Low

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#44

Facepalm when the SJW's are on the streets screaming "Zombies have rights too !!!!!". I wish I was joking........

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1point

whatever

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CG 1 year ago

Reminds me of Dead Rising 2. There was an activist group C.U.R.E. (Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality) in the game... very much a tongue in cheek parody of PETA.

1point

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#45

Go to Costco. They have tons of food, big concrete walls, and you need a membership to get in. Not my idea but its a great one.

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1point

Space Yeti

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#46

Grab a weapon like a knife or hammer or whatever is good for fighting, a shield, and chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge!(not the best idea for survival though)

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1point

Just a boring person

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#47

I would totally "Resident Evil" the zombies.

On another note, I think I might just act like them to convince them I belong with their group. Lololololol...

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1point

Lady Lestrange

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#48

I would try and go to some island in the middle of the Atlantic, Like the Falklands or something, I would live there for a year or two.

zombies aren't immortal right, eventually, the zombies would die from exhaustion or hunger. and if any zombies survive that, they would need to survive the freezing winter months, or the boiling summer season.

no matter how you put it, all the zombies would die out in under two years

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Damian DeGiovine

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CG 1 year ago

If anything, I think the decaying of the bodies would get zombies would make them disappear within a few months. And when you consider rigor mortis, assuming their bodies would act according to scientific reality, their muscles would be very tight, making them move incredibly slow (much slower than we see in the movies). I think the only ways zombies would last a long time is if the transmission vector isn't the conventional bite/scratch (like the Last of Us's cordyceps fungus, or the Walking Dead's airborne transmission upon death not involving damage to the brain), or if a combination of the military, police, and gun owners don't band together to eliminate them in the early goings of the outbreak (or the original town isn't carpet bombed out of existence).

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#49

Collect books on farming/ survival, go to the hardware store and then as far out of civilization as I can get

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Erin Ward

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Damian DeGiovine 1 year ago

the easiest way to get away from civilization is to sail into the ocean, barely anyone lives in the ocean

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#50

I would get into medical science and try to make a vaccine for the virus, tat way I could turn the nasty hoards into armys.

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Damian DeGiovine

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

And then you could start your own mad scientist club! The What a Putz we are scientific group!

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#51

stock up on pizza and water, soda and other food and drinks, then grab a lightweight weapon with some length to it, but no guns.

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Darth Callidus

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

I want to say grab some titties and beer! But it may get censored? Shhhh!

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#52

We all have skeleton's in the cupboard. And we all fear that we will one day we will be dead and meet all our bad actions.
So - Zombies are the half dead who want to put right what they did wrong when they were alive, but they can't without eating a brain? Like they are bad people anyway, and they have no ability to change? That has to be the Zombie scare - what else?

The only resistance is to explore your darkest fears, apologise when you need to, and know when you don't need to.
And banish scary thoughts to the foolishness of 'Zombie'. Those Zombies will have nothing against the power of a resilient mind.

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Leigh

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Wake me up when this guy is done! Blah blah blah! Blah blah. Blah blah! If the zombies don't kill you. This guy will either bore or talk you to death!

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#53

Pick up a fire axe and create a makeshift mace out of a sturdy plank and industrial nails. Then you can just call me Axe N Smash!!! Xp XD

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SheamusFanFrom1987

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

An axe and makeshift shield would be better!

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#54

Step 1:find a huge hoarde and mark heir positions
Step 2:find a unstable rope bridge
Step 3:lure hoarde to bridge and once most are on it, cut the ropes
But realistically if I don't find the bridge im just gonna lure them to a cliff and go wakanda forever

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Some Indonesian kid (he/him)

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

Have a crane and hook. Hang a basket and swing it out over a big cliff. Then ring a dinner bell screaming. COME AND GET IT! Then watch am tumble on down!

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#55

Go into a place with sliding doors. Don't think I've ever seen a zombie movie where they slide open a door. Bad luck to me if they can, hey

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DarcyRose

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#56

I’d go to a home improvement store, those places are chocked full of weapons, or I’d steal guns and stuff from Walmart as weapons.

I’d also use a bag to keep my cat safe as I love her to pieces.

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Marinasongs1432

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#57

Call my partner and tell them to meet me at the summer camp we both go to in the middle of the Appalachians. It's got a garden, plumbing, etc, and the guy who takes care of it in the off-season would probably be there.

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oddly_informed_raven

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

At camp Crystal lake! Chee chee chee! Haw haw haw.

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#58

Already bought a nice piece of real estate with a stream passing through. my nearest neighbors being kilos away and residents of an old age home, a fancy resort and a high end mall. So when it eventually comes, I'll only have to fight grandpa zombies when raiding the facility for medical supplies. The military will definitely come to me soon considering all the rich people stuck in the resort. I also know where the nearest chicken farm is.

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Bylee Victoriqua Malox

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#59

Wait. The zombies are dead, and almost all will be rotted by a month. Plus, zombies still need their bodies to function to some extent. After even a little bit, their internal organs might begin to shut down from rot, and most zombies would be entirely useless.

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Jadax Martian

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

What about the skinnies! Vicious skeleton zombies. Like in those old Sinbad movies?

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#60

The Mountains (Specifically the Rockies because their closer) or somehow escape to Greenland. Those places have a very low population, and it's unlikely for an outbreak to occur. If someone did get infected, we'd greatly outnumber them (because it's just one person) and we could take them down.

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Sooploosh MacSchnibble

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#61

Mel Brooks son, Max Brooks, wrote books The "Zombie Survival Guide". and "Closure Limited and Other Zombie Tales". So if you like zombies ( they gross me out) those books are not humor. He also wrote some other end of world type books, and World War Z. The closest thing I've seen to zombies are heroin addicts. They don't eat brains but walk the same, aren't coherent and dress the same. I"'m not ragging on addicts, I wish them the best of recovery. Wow that went off track.

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Vermonta

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Bad Ass69 1 year ago

😂😂😂 junkies are zombies that are still living. But with there finger on the SELF DESTRUCT Button!

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#62

1) Assuming I'm at my home, Get what I need (Some food and water, pocket knife, clothes, ect), If not, get the most useful things in the surrounding area.
2) Then, go to my local bookstore. Get books on survival and plant identification, as well as dealing with wildlife encounters. Also go to a camping/survival store and medical supply store.
3) Steal a car. Nothing personal, just every man for himself in an apocalypse
4) Invite my friends and family to come with me, obviously.
5) travel to a remote location in the mountains with whoever accepts, making sure I'm far from humanity.
6) Assign each person a job based on their unique skill sets, eventually building walls around the small civilization and picking up and survivors that happen along.
7) live out my days in peace.

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Kayla Geeza

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#63

Easy, take over the local school with a small selection of my friends - allowing pets. We will start a farm of both regular plants, those trendy micro greens, and aquaponics. The school has generators and solar panels so electricity shouldn't be much of an issue. Over time we will break into every storeroom and classroom so we will control the entire school, we will not accept people we do not know and the people we do have to have a specific value to us as individuals or they have to have a skill or attribute that makes them a desirable member of the group, no food will be wasted on a useless idiot. Hopefully, the empire will expand to the local housing and shop next to and around the school so we will have a larger space to develop into a formidable home base, from there we would organise trips to the nearby hospitals and shopping centres for supplies as needed. The only issue really would be the local idiots, but I know how to make all sorts of weaponry and gasses so they wouldn't be an issue for long :)

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Kai Collis

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