Hey Pandas, What’s Your Funniest Example Of A Statement That You’ve Said And It Came Out Wrong? (Closed)

Do you ever say something and realize a second later that it came out all wrong? Here are what I hope will be some of the funniest examples.

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I was giving my friends shoulder massages and someone said to give them a massage next and I said ''I'll do you after I do him,'' and the whole room went quiet. Needless to say it was awkward.

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Final score:

9points

J.Lomax

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Muff_Fluff 1 year ago

Well didja get to do them

5points

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My friend: Oh my god I’m so screwed
My dumbass brain on autopilot: You’re screwed? Congratulations!
Everyone: WHAT DID YOU—

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Final score:

9points

Muff_Fluff

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I was talking to a friend the other day and accidentally said “Don’t you just love it when you go outside and the birds are blooming and the flowers are chirping?”

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Final score:

8points

GhostlySnail (she/her)

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I continuously say chork pop instead of pork chop, my brain sometimes doesn’t work properly, I blame my scatterbrained mind for that.

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Final score:

8points

Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him)

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Colette Bembenek 1 year ago

Or sputtergotch for butterscotch.

4points

When I was a kid, I was playing an American Football video game. In the game, I was playing as a defensive player, and for a few plays in a row, I was taking the ball away from the offensive players. This is called a strip fumble. I was getting pretty excited, and so, yelled to my parents across the hall "I'm a great stripper!"

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Final score:

8points

JoyfulZebra

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I'm trying to compliment those around me more often. This one girl in one of my classes walked in and her hair was really curly I just said oh your hair's so curly it's so pretty. She said thanks and I said my hair only looks like that on its bad days. I don't even know why my brain decided to say that. I hope I didn't offend her but my voice is really quiet so I hope she didn't hear that last part.

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Final score:

8points

….gray. (She/Her)

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T5n 1 year ago

That happens to me all the time! I’ll tell someone a genuine compliment and then my brain tries to kamikaze the social situation by having me add something to the sentence. Side note: I haven’t seen that profile pic on BP before so I assume that you are fairly new. That being said, I want to say Welcome to BP fellow panda

1point

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Not me, but I was there when it happened. On the last tournament for golf in my Junior year, one of the girls from another other school hit a rabbit in the head with her ball. After jumping and flopping around for several seconds, it died in the bushes. Well my coach was with a different team at a different hole when it happened, and when he arrived, this girl was sobbing her eyes out. The first thing he said, with no context in the situation, was "Whaddya do, kill a rabbit?" He was informed later just how bad it sounded.

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Final score:

7points

Disona

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A girl 1 year ago

Ouch

5points

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#12

OMG I have SO many....

At Christmas one year, was telling my parents about my brother's new video game, Zombies Ate My Neighbors... I then exclaimed about a hidden level, Attack Of The Tentacles.... except I said ...Attack Of The Testicles....

Told my mom "I want to get my hair c*nt.... I mean cut"

I worked customer service in a cell phone call center in the past... told a customer, "ok, bye, love you"
Since I couldn't hang up first, all I hear is them cackling in the background before another call came in.

Did it again to the receptionist at my vets office.... this time I could hang up. Didn't matter, because when I got there, she had already told the whole office and they told me they loved me as I went out the door with my dog lol.

THE BEST/WORST one, I was on a cruise ship, and at the show we were at that night, the comedian was fielding questions about what brutal games we played as a kid... I knew INSTANTLY what I was going to say.
"Crack the whip!" I cried to the black comedian standing on stage...
he paused, and replied, "You know, we didn't really play that growing up in the ghetto"
I almost died of shame and embarrassment. I look over at my husband, and his jaw is in the table.
It is an actual game, FYI, sometimes called snap the whip, and as far as I know, it has nothing directly to do with oppression or slavery... a line of kids hold hands, and you make waves, trying to break someones grasp, until the kid at the end is launched 20 feet away, face first into the dirt.
Worst part of it, my husband who grew up in the south had never heard of it either.
To this day, I have a suspicion the comedian set me up.

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Final score:

3points