can be more than one. Also I am a dinosaur.

#1

1. Don't be ashamed of who you are, That's your parents' job. 2. It looks like your face just caught fire and someone tried to put out the flames... with a hammer...

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#2

Around here most things are responded to with "your mom", "up your butt", "that's what he/she said", "if it was up your butt kicking field goals you'd know where it is" and "what does silly get you?". Not super proud of these but it is what it is. 😅

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#3

Person: “you’re so stupid. Do you think you’re funny or something?”
Me [in my daydreams]: “yeah, and my girlfriend agrees with me.”

Me: “I’m lesbian.”
Person: “don’t worry, that’ll change when you get older.”
Me [in my daydreams]: “yeah, hopefully when I’m older I’ll be smart enough not to talk to you.”

Person: “oh, I’m so gonna kill you for that.”
Me [in my daydreams]: “you know, talking to yourself is a sign of insanity. Though everyone already knows you’re crazy.”

Person [over text]: “you’re really stupid. You thought THAT would work?”
Me [also over text] [actually thought of a comeback on the spot this time]: “make sure you don’t have voice-to-text on while talking to yourself. Although a basic understanding of technology is probably beyond your comprehension.”

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#4

"I'm so strong I can *insert impressive ability*"
" Yeah, that doesn't mean I find you attractive. "

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#5

Person: oh god your such a simp
Me: oh god your parents never raised you right

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