Hey Pandas, What’s Your Favorite (Joking) Conspiracy Theory? (Closed)

Post some fun conspiracy theories—nothing too serious, just looking for a laugh. Let's not get political or offensive with any of these. My favorite conspiracy theory is that we do not own the cats... they own us.

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I can't believe no one has said this one.

Walt Disney being frozen under the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disney World. Along with the theory that Disney called the movie "Frozen" was so if you looked up "Disney frozen" it would give you the movie instead.

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Final score:

33points

Minecraft_Chicken (He/Chicken)

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Minecraft_Chicken (Submission author) 7 months ago (edited)

2 upvotes!? MOM I'M FAMOUS! Edit: I don't know if I got this many upvotes from the post or this comment, but if it was because of the comment, I hope you had a good laugh. 😂

20points

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Recently, I've heard a theory that all these crazy climare activist - like those who throw soup at famous artworks or glue themselves to roads - are hired by those who benefit from conservative energy sources to make actual climate activist look unhinged by association. That way, they can effectively shut down all debate about climate situation and continue to pollute even though we're nearing the point of no return. I'm usually critical about conspiracies, but this one makes tons of sense to me.

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Final score:

26points

Luke Branwen

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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 7 months ago

That does not unhinged or unlikely. At all.

7points

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Birds aren't real. They've all been replaced by government drones and are part of state surveillance.

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Final score:

25points

over it already

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Jaden Yoder 7 months ago

I love that one as well. It's actually pretty funny reading all the details

8points

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The earth is flat…Yeah , and sits on the backs of four elephants, who stand on the back of the Great A’Tuin.

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Final score:

22points

Lily Anne

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 7 months ago

That is absolutely true!

8points

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Modern Art is just a money laundering scheme for the uber rich and they think it's hilarious when some of us "poors" think s**ty color blocks are "inspired" or "genius."

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Final score:

19points

Kyle S.

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BTDubs 7 months ago

Okay, is it weird that this sounds true?

11points

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Bielefeld does'nt exist. No explanation needed!

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Final score:

17points

Fatih Cetinkaya

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ninjaTrashPandaBoom 7 months ago

But have you ever been to Bielefeld?

6points

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Mobile homes attract tornadoes.

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Final score:

17points

Freya the Wanderer

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Liz Downing 7 months ago

That's what makes them mobile.

9points

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Jews run the world. We quite obviously do not. But we do have Jewish space lazers though 😉

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Final score:

14points

Lee

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Apatheist Account2 7 months ago

Superman was Jewish.. Up, up and oy vey!!

18points

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At the northpole there is a polar fortress. And living in there are Elvis Presley, Falco, Fidel Castro, Michael Jackson, and Adolf H playing poker all day.

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Final score:

11points

Mr.Mister

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Apatheist Account2 7 months ago

The latter would be approaching his 135th birthday next month...not overly likely.

6points

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#10

Jewish lasers.

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Final score:

10points

Vermonta

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#11

All books with real-world settings are real, or going to happen, especially the ones with reasons why we wouldn't know what's going on like Rick Riordan's or Brandon Sanderson's books.

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Final score:

10points

That tiny x on the pop up add

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Stormblessed 7 months ago

By referring to Brandon Sanderson's books, you're not talking about any of the Cosmere books, right? because those aren't set on Earth. Skyward is related, though.

1point

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#12

The Illuminati controls the earth, and they sometimes do stuff like put it in the freezer (so we get the ice age) and play dodgeball with it (earthquakes).

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Final score:

9points

Aadith

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Libstak 7 months ago

How big are these Illuminati overlords exactly?

3points

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#13

Ulta leftist Nazi cannibals vaccinate my potting soil. (with adrenochrome of lizard people)

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Final score:

9points

martymcmatrix

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ninjaTrashPandaBoom 7 months ago

"I was right in the middle of a f*cking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds." -Raoul Duke

6points

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#14

"Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?"..."Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!"

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Final score:

9points

ninjaTrashPandaBoom

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SBocker78 7 months ago

Upvote for "So I Married an Axe Murderer".

6points

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#15

Paul is Dead. Love The Beatles.

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Final score:

9points

DRMAGDN

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MurderMittens 7 months ago

My very first conspiracy theory!

2points

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#16

The Eiffel Tower was built as a spy antenna to communicate with space aliens who were trading advanced technology in exchange for information about human society. France wanted to have another tall metal tower on the other side of the world to improve the communications. That's why they gave the Statue of Liberty to the United States.

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Final score:

8points

Justin Tyme

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#17

That there are pyramids on Antarctica that were made by humans

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Final score:

7points

MADELINE JONES

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StPaul9 7 months ago

That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die."

6points

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#18

Black cats are bad luck. *eyeroll*

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Final score:

7points

~Just-A-Black-Cat-Lover~

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UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 7 months ago

Black cats are the best! My black kitty Milo was the love of my life.

12points

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#19

The electronic transistor was developed from technology found in the “alleged” UFO debris found near Roswell, New Mexico. The debris was found in June 1947. The first transistor was demonstrated just six months later in December 1947.

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Final score:

7points

Justin Tyme

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Justin Tyme (Submission author) 7 months ago

Amazing coincidence of timing, wasn't it?

3points

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#20

The five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council are the five largest weapons manufacturers on the planet.

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Final score:

6points

trevor

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Danish Susanne 7 months ago

But can it be a conspiracy theory if it is factual?

11points

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#21

In the late 30s Nazi Germany organized an expedition to Antarctica. They claimed part of it, called it New Swabia, and tried to set up a whaling station. There is a theory that several high up Nazi leaders and elite units of the SS evacuated to Antarctica after the war. There is allegedly a map created by the KGB of underwater U boat passages in the area. In addition to that, the theory claims that US Navy operation High Jump was actually a mission to fight said Nazis, which would explain the strangely high amount of casualties.

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Final score:

5points

90HD

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Some Random Person 7 months ago

First time hearing of this one

3points

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#22

How has no one added this yet?!

"Some supporters of the QAnon conspiracy gathered in Dallas, as a theory circulated that John F. Kennedy Jr., who has been dead for more than 20 years, would reappear and announce that former President Trump will be reinstated as president."

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Final score:

5points

pfeils wife

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Corvus 7 months ago

They were pretty pissed when he didn't... but this was all part of the plan, of course.

2points

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#23

Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a body double for... reasons?

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Final score:

4points

Wheeee

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Some Random Person 7 months ago

Read this one, even seems to be kinda legit. The Soviets (for real) had like dozens of doubles of popular singers and bands performing at different places at the same times, when real ines were either in rehab or dead

4points

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#24

That science isn't real. Yes, modern academia, government and systems are defiantly imperfect, and we should question everything. But accepted, peer reviewed science being just dismissed is a return to the dark ages.

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Final score:

4points

Mab

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Mab (Submission author) 7 months ago

…this is more of an exasperated laugh than anything else…

4points

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#25

If u play the ouiji board you’ll summon demon elmo.

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Final score:

4points

FROGS!

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ninjaTrashPandaBoom 7 months ago

Mission accepted...

3points

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#26

I liked the one abt the show "the fresh prince of bel air" in the opening credits Will Smiths character gets into a fight and thats why his mom sends him to live with his uncle.

The theory is that Will Smiths character dies and the whole show is him in heaven. When his mom visite she is actually visiting his grave.

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Final score:

3points

Enochrises

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ZuriLovesYou 7 months ago

That's not a theory! That's a thought!

0points

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#27

The government flew over the country with planes and dropped covid 19 particles so everyone could get sick and it would be easier for them to control you. The ideas seem people come up with

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Final score:

3points

Colorado_mountain boy

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Rostit.. . 7 months ago

except we had trump and nothing was controlled and everything was a shitshow and now the economy is still clawing back from his ineptitude.

6points

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#28

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither a conspiracy or a theory!

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Final score:

3points

Javelina Poppers

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Legendbird 7 months ago

May he bless you with his noodly appendages

2points

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#29

Humpty Dumpty was PUSHED!!

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Final score:

3points

marianne eliza

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Justin Tyme 7 months ago

And there was a second pusher on the grassy knoll.

3points

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#30

I heard a theory of why when you search "peppa pig house wallpaper" you find a miniature peppa in the window. The reason why she is there is due to the fact that she had cancer and daddy pig got tired of looking after her 24/7 so he chained her to her bed. 6 years later, the ACTUAL peppa was born. Creeeeepy.

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Final score:

2points

LightYagami

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Neffla 7 months ago

WT actual F?

5points

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#31

That Sasquatch / Bigfoot entities are actually the remnants of the Nephilim giants mentioned in the bible.

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Final score:

2points

Reddus Heddus

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Libstak 7 months ago

Big foot just won World Hide and Seek Champion for the 80th year in a row...

5points

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#32

The world you think you live in is actually a computer simulation. It is an experiment to find out how convincing virtual reality can be. You are the test subject. I wasn't supposed to tell you this. But I believe you have the right to know.

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Final score:

2points

Justin Tyme

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ninjaTrashPandaBoom 7 months ago

Philosophy can be a total mind f*ck...are we the dreamers or the dreamt illusions?

7points

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#33

Donald Trump is the love-child of Adolf Hitler and Ayn Rand.

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Final score:

2points

Richard Graham

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Libstak 7 months ago (edited)

That seems plausible, of course he could also be a reptilian alien softening everyone up for the coming invasion...psy ops is pretty effective I've heard. I mean, there are folks who will be begging them to takeover just to end the madness.

1point

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#34

FLIES. ARE. ALIENS. They have no reason for 3000 eyes

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Final score:

2points

HumanLePerson (He/Him)

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#35

Typing Google into Google can break the internet.

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Final score:

1point

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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Zelda McLink 7 months ago

Jen, you said you wouldn't tell anyone!

7points

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#36

Edward de Vere the Earl of Oxford is the real Shakespeare. Anderson´s excellent book, y Any Other Name,"makes a compelling argument that the main author of the works was the Earl who studied the classics, owned the books that appear in the plays, and had an intimate knowledge of the court. De Vere´s life story matches up well with the plays - everything from being in debt to Venice merchants to having friends of the same names as the characters in the plays. The recognized Shakespeare was an elementary-school educated grain merchant who misspelled his name on his will, owned no books, never traveled outside of the country, and left his second best bed to his wife without any mention of the plays. Read the book before judging!

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Final score:

1point

Nicky

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#37

The cute guy I met on my trip to Hawaii is a government spy or something. No way someone as gorgeous as him is actually into me 🤣

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Final score:

1point

Aud (she/they)

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Lily_Clancy 3 months ago

i feel like that all the damn time lol

0points

#38

Cats don't honestly care about ruling the world, as long as they get lots of tuna.

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Final score:

1point

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!

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#39

My favorite one is that there’s not two Olsen twins, but it’s just one person that moves very fast.

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Final score:

1point

Magnion

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#40

That Rebecca Black's "Friday" is about the assassination of JFK (don't hate me, I just think it's funny)

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Final score:

1point

By Deleted User

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ZuriLovesYou 7 months ago

Say what now?

0points

#41

my favorite conspiracy theory is that Long John Silvers is a money laundering front, but honestly, I unironically believe it. there are no cars out there whenever I see one, not that i do that often, and i don't even think any employees are in there half the time. it makes no physical sense for it to be anything else because you never see anybody go " boy i sure a hungry, i could go for some long john silvers right about now!" it's insane how much it makes sense

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Final score:

0points

Cursed Starscream

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 7 months ago

Their fish is awful, in my opinion. Captain D's for me!

1point

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#42

That most private schools will eventually turn into a public school

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Final score:

0points

adrien

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#43

Vaccines make you magnetic (even to plastic)

The sky is a dome built by "the government" to prevent people from seeing god.

Jewish space lasers are causing wildfires.

Satanic, cannibalistic, child molesters are operating a global child sex trafficking ring which conspired against Donald tRump.

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Final score:

0points

Mermeow Overlord (she/they)

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Corvus 7 months ago

Classic QAnon... and the best part about it is how the man that actually fights the bad guys (the "Q") is some anonymous guy who posts cryptic messages on meme boards :D

3points

#44

Donald Trump is not real. He is an AI construct, designed as publicity click bait for Trump Hotels at first, then becoming its own industry. This AI trap is now used to identify the extremely gullible personalities, so they can be targeted by organized crime cons later. A "Trump" sign on your lawn is known by the FBI to be a signal inviting cons to knock on the door and sell.. bibles, hats, and "secret investments"; all fake.

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Final score:

0points

Cosmikid

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ZuriLovesYou 7 months ago

I wish he wasn't real.

0points

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#45

Andy Kaufman faked his death and has been playing Donald Trump for the last ten years. The real Donald Trump plays golf all day. Meanwhile Andy Trump Kaufman and his comedy writing team are trapped because they believe this bit went this far.

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Final score:

0points

Roland Franks

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Roland Franks (Submission author) 7 months ago

they 'cant' believe this bit went this far

0points

#46

MrBeast's Networth is infinite because he gives away money but makes more money from those same videos, so technicaly he is worth Infinity dollars

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Final score:

0points

HumanLePerson (He/Him)

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Minecraftemery (he/him CisHet) 7 months ago

That's not really a theory, that's just true. But he mostly makes money off of merchandise and his chocolate brand.

2points

What do you think ?

That the word 'Hello' is a fiendish plot, because there's 'Hell' in it.

Samsquatch & Monko 7 months ago

These were goofy

Famous Dako 2 months ago

Hello viewers, I'm Bryan Patrick, from 167 Madison 8400 Huntsville Arkansas, U.S. I want to quickly use this medium to share a testimony on how I was directed to a Legit and real Illuminati Elite Member who has transformed my life from grass to grace, from being poor to a rich man who can now boast of a healthy and wealthy life without stress or financial difficulties. I want to tell the worlds, that the illuminati (New World Order) Organization is real because i have see the benefit of being a member of the brotherhood, i have tried to join the illuminati organization so many times, i have been scammed a lot of money, but i did not give up because i know if i find the real illuminati master or agent, my life will be changed forever so i did not stop, i became so desperate in being a member online then I decided to contact a friend of mine in Germany, who recently became a member, we discussed about the issue and to our conclusion he told me about a man called Master James Albert, who

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Hey Pandas, What’s Your Favorite (Joking) Conspiracy Theory? (Closed)

Games

me myself and i (she/her)

me myself and i (she/her)

Gabriela Zagórska

Gabriela Zagórska