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Hey Pandas, What’s Your Best Joke That Shouldn’t Be Funny But It Is? (Closed)

Dark humor

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#1

Why is the orphan bad at baseball?
He can’t find home

What’s a reverse exorcism?
When the devil asks the priest to leave the child’s body

What do you call a lonely 6 year old?
A sandy hook survivor

What’s the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?
Michael Phelps can finish a race

Have you heard the one about the child with aids?
It never gets old

What do you call a flat emo girl?
A cutting board

I should stop before bp bans me lol

Final score:

9points

Josh Cutts 2 years ago

Feeling soooo guilty rn.

1point

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#2

What's the best pickup line in a gay bar?
"May I push in your stool?"

Final score:

5points

By Deleted User

Bonesko 2 years ago

ICK!

5points

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#3

Dark humor you say? I got you.

"What do you call a group of depressed people?"
"A suicide squad"

Final score:

5points

#4

Japan didn't take the break up with America well. They denied it at first. America had to drop the bomb twice before Japan got the message.

Final score:

5points

Phantom682🇺🇦

DUN DUN 2 years ago

AYOOO 😳😂🤣💀

1point

#5

You don't take babies to Vegas,but you leave Vegas with babies

Final score:

5points

bigfoot🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 2 years ago

oh mah Lord

0points

#6

I have a dog with no legs. I call him cigarette because every day when I get home I take him out for a drag.

Final score:

4points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

WHY DID I HAVE TO IMAGINE THE SITUATION

2points

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#7

The thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old!

Final score:

4points

ShotoTodoroki33

DUN DUN 2 years ago

Ummm..holy shitt

1point

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#8

where did little timmy go when he got lost in a minefield?

everywhere

Final score:

3points

Oliver Thwaites

Aster Oli 2 years ago

pffffffffffffffffft I laughed way too hard at this

0points

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#9

Death is the best part of life. That's why they save it for last.

Final score:

3points

#10

“Why doesn’t the Chinese kids believe in Santa?”
“Because they make the toys.”

Final score:

2points

Sawyer Kidder 2 years ago

Ouch

3points

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#11

What do you call four white men sitting on a bench? The NBA/ Dark jokes are like food, not everyone gets it.

Final score:

2points

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#12

A girl walked up to her mother and said, "Mom, how do you spell 's*****m'?" and the mother said, "You should've asked me last night, I had it on the tip of my tongue."

Final score:

2points

#13

I named my dog 5 miles so I could say "Today I walked 5 miles!" But today, I ran over 5 miles/ What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown

Final score:

2points

3 Trash Pandas (She/They)

DUN DUN 2 years ago

When you yeet them. (nodding) Understandable.

0points

#14

I’m tempted to compare Steve Jobs to Donald Trump… but that would be comparing apples to oranges. / What’s the one upside of dying instantly and unexpectedly? You’d never know it happened.

Final score:

1point

#15

Me and my friends like to put extremely rude things in cutesy messages
⍣ ೋ𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓪𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼*ೃ༄
·˚ ༘𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓵𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝔂⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
and probably the most straight to the point one is something you probably shouldn't say to people
* ˚ ✦ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓚𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳༉‧₊˚.ׂׂૢ

please keep in mind, these are jokes and are clarified to be such, as well as only being sent to friends. I (mostly) don't support sending those types of messages without checking to make sure the person is comfortable with it and its clarified as a joke (some people actually deserve to be told to die, but those are like p/dos and stuff.)

Final score:

0points

𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊

𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊 (Submission author) 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-2points

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#16

Two Nuns in a bath
Wears the soap?
Yes it does doesn’t it

Final score:

0points

Christopher Binks

#17

This is a long one but its funny.

I went to my friend's house one day and I noticed his pig only had 3 legs! I asked him "what happened to your pig's leg?"

He said "this here is an amazing pig! Why just last summer we had a fire! This little guy burst in and woke us all up! Saved our lives!"

I asked "Is that how he lost his leg??"

My friend again said "This here is an amazing pig! Why just last month little Billy fell in the lake but this pig jumped in and pulled him to shore! Saved his life!"

A little confused and frustrated I asked "but what happened to his leg?!"

My friend looked me dead in the eye and said " This here is an amazing pig! Surely you don't expect us to eat him all at once?!"

Final score:

0points

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#18

What do you call four white men sitting on a bench? The NBA/ Dark jokes are like food, not everyone gets it.

Final score:

-4points

Aster Oli 2 years ago

repeat

0points

Phantom682🇺🇦

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Titas Burinskas

This dude right here? He works as a Community Manager at Bored Panda. Has no back-story, cause his spine works just fine. He writes about himself in third-person, and in first-person about others. Fell in love with storytelling and cannot let that love go. Now, he's here to help you make your own story simply beautiful. Secretly makes cute music samples and writes stories in the dark that nobody has ever heard of before.

This dude right here? He works as a Community Manager at Bored Panda. Has no back-story, cause his spine works just fine. He writes about himself in third-person, and in first-person about others. Fell in love with storytelling and cannot let that love go. Now, he's here to help you make your own story simply beautiful. Secretly makes cute music samples and writes stories in the dark that nobody has ever heard of before.

What do you think ?

Phantom682🇺🇦 (Post author) 2 years ago

Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more because what Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4

0points

Phantom682🇺🇦 (Post author) 2 years ago

Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more because what Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4

0points

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