Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
We all need dark humor at some point in life.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Cause they don't know where home is.
Final score:
11points
#2
Before my grandpa died I remember his last words...watch how far I can kick this bucket hehe
Final score:
8points
#3
a cople:
1. experience
"dad, why is my name experience?"
"experience is just the name we give oour mistakes"
2. stalker
"what do you do in your free time?"
" i stalk"
"really? i enjoy ice cream, hanging out at the park and going to movies with friends."
"i know."
3. jimmy
where did little jimmy go after getting lost in a mine field?
a: everywhere.
4. baby, oh no.
q: whats the difference between a baby and a potato?
a: about 140 calories.
let me know if you want me to post more by:
1. liking
2. commenting
Final score:
7points
#4
(1) I heard someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.... Poor guy!
(2)I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
(3) I remember my grandpa's last words before he died... " Are you still holding the ladder? "
(4) I read a book about an immortal dog... It was impossible to put down!
(5) Never breaks somebody's heart, they only have one of them! Break their bones, because they have 206 of them!
Final score:
5points
#5
you don't need a parachute to skydive
You need a parachute to skydive twice
Final score:
4points
#6
1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
2. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow
3. I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
4. My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Final score:
4points
#7
Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? Because there was a face off in the corner.
Final score:
3points
#8
why can't Sally play on the swings?
she has no arms, knock knock.
Not Sally.
Final score:
3points
#9
Why did the chicken die? She didn't look both ways before crossing the road.
Final score:
3points
Anthony Goldstein (female) 3 years ago
why did the chicken cross the road? she was going to kfc.
#10
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
(I don't have a wife... im Middle school)
Final score:
2points
ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 3 years ago
A massive lover of cats. (got nothing against dogs). Come up with a funny argument or theory and almost always will interfere.
#11
What's the similarity between clean water and dark humor? Not everyone gets it.
Final score:
1point
#12
-What is a Dark-type Pokemon's favorite bread?
-DARK-rye!
Final score:
-1point
What do you think ?
Kirbi (hehe get it) 3 years ago
Ahh dark jokes... I would say they would be the only thing that kept me sane, but lets be honest, its my dog
Kirbi (hehe get it) 3 years ago
Ahh dark jokes... I would say they would be the only thing that kept me sane, but lets be honest, its my dog
Related on Bored Panda
