Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
125views
Hey Pandas, What’s The Weirdest Out-Of-Context Thing You’ve Heard? (Closed)
I want to hear your stories.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"I DONT HAVE TIME TO BE DEPRESSED TODAY EMILY"
Final score:
9points
#2
"Oh no, that part of me isn't tickly anymore"
HE WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF NOBODY WAS THERE
Final score:
8points
#3
"He has a gun, but that's easy to dodge, it's the cards I'm scared of."
"How are you dying to cards?"
"They're hard to dodge?"
"AND A GUN ISN'T?!"
Final score:
7points
#4
“The masculine urge to rub my d*ck with sandpaper.”
Like wtf was the conversation about??? 💀
Final score:
7points
#5
"GRAPEFRUIT!"
-wise words of Some Kid in the Emergency Room
Later, I learned from a friend about a trick he learned as a kid: When you're about to sneeze, put your finger under your nose and say grapefruit...
Final score:
6points
#6
"I WILL PUT A SCALP/ITALIAN JAPANESE MAFIA BOSS WHO PUT ONIONS IN PASTA EATING FOREST LIZARD IN YOUR BED IF YOU DON'T FREAKING SHUT YOUR FACE HOLE!"
Final score:
6points
#7
Not me but a friend overheard someone say:
“I wanna have sex with that pickup truck”
Final score:
6points
#10
“Nobody cares about your knowledge”- wise words by my wise teacher during a conversation with some classmate
Final score:
5points
Cosmologist interntobe (he/him 10 months ago
Oof. I would egalitarian with that teacher. It could go 3 ways. Either the teacher snaps at you, tells you what happened, or tells you politely that it was a private matter. If the first one happens, tell another adult at the school that you trust. For the others, just continue on with ur day.
#11
I have many sayings that are funny without context as well with context.
"You did grow boyfriends in your bathtub once."
"1977: when dinosaurs went extinct."
"Waves not serial killers."
"Y'all aren't seals nor birds."
"I'm a f*****g emo Irishman, leave me alone"
"I feel like a king and a peasant at the same time."
Final score:
5points
#13
Me and my bsf have an entire list lol. Here’s some
Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run you over
Do you mind if I murder someone next to you?
Ohh so that’s why you were dead
Nice I wouldn’t mind throwing a baby or two
Don’t eat macaroni and cheese off my toes
Final score:
5points
#14
The people at my school are very strange.
"Is sawdust magnetic?"
"I PROMISE everyone had their clothes on. I promise."
Final score:
4points
#15
Anything can be taken out of context, if you try hard enough.
Final score:
3points
#16
I was doing an online study course and someone unmuted on a zoom call and asked if anyone had ever licked a public toilet
Final score:
3points
Related on Bored Panda
