"I DONT HAVE TIME TO BE DEPRESSED TODAY EMILY"

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Final score:

9points

QueerAxolotls

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"Oh no, that part of me isn't tickly anymore"
HE WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF NOBODY WAS THERE

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Final score:

8points

By Deleted User

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"He has a gun, but that's easy to dodge, it's the cards I'm scared of."
"How are you dying to cards?"
"They're hard to dodge?"
"AND A GUN ISN'T?!"

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Final score:

7points

MaximumKarmaSaint

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“The masculine urge to rub my d*ck with sandpaper.”

Like wtf was the conversation about??? 💀

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Final score:

7points

Mysteria

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"GRAPEFRUIT!"
-wise words of Some Kid in the Emergency Room
Later, I learned from a friend about a trick he learned as a kid: When you're about to sneeze, put your finger under your nose and say grapefruit...

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Final score:

6points

Hairy Platypus

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"I WILL PUT A SCALP/ITALIAN JAPANESE MAFIA BOSS WHO PUT ONIONS IN PASTA EATING FOREST LIZARD IN YOUR BED IF YOU DON'T FREAKING SHUT YOUR FACE HOLE!"

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Final score:

6points

Faye Drewit

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Not me but a friend overheard someone say:
“I wanna have sex with that pickup truck”

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Final score:

6points

3 Trash Pandas (She/They)

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BECAUSE OF THE FRICKING TIDE PODS!

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Final score:

5points

Faye Drewit

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"No! Then go to the bathroom!"

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Final score:

5points

Tiramisu

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“Nobody cares about your knowledge”- wise words by my wise teacher during a conversation with some classmate

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Final score:

5points

Stardust she/her

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I have many sayings that are funny without context as well with context.

"You did grow boyfriends in your bathtub once."
"1977: when dinosaurs went extinct."
"Waves not serial killers."
"Y'all aren't seals nor birds."
"I'm a f*****g emo Irishman, leave me alone"
"I feel like a king and a peasant at the same time."

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Final score:

5points

Mia Seth

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"Just lick it and stick it in"

- My last year's magnet teacher

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Final score:

5points

Shoes

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Me and my bsf have an entire list lol. Here’s some
Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run you over
Do you mind if I murder someone next to you?
Ohh so that’s why you were dead
Nice I wouldn’t mind throwing a baby or two
Don’t eat macaroni and cheese off my toes

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Final score:

5points

mcdonalds french fry (she/her)

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The people at my school are very strange.

"Is sawdust magnetic?"

"I PROMISE everyone had their clothes on. I promise."

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Final score:

4points

Skater Chick (he/him)

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Anything can be taken out of context, if you try hard enough.

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Final score:

3points

Cosmologistinterntobe (human)

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I was doing an online study course and someone unmuted on a zoom call and asked if anyone had ever licked a public toilet

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Final score:

3points

Mia Bouhan

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I heard two voices talking about their pregnancy and giving birth. I walked around the corner and it was two men. Very confusing

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Final score:

-5points

JasonM

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