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Could be a dog liking your face, or a ridiculous accusation.
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#1
On the 4th of July of 2020, some Amish dudes pulled in the driveway in a truck(yeah idk either) and told my stepdad "your about the same size. My buddy sh*t himself and we wanna buy a pair of jeans off of ya for $50." They were going to a DRAG RACE FFS. Long story short, my stepdad now had $50. The guy who sh*t himself changed at the gas station. Good times 🤣
Final score:
6points
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#2
I’ve said this before at least about the ex-friend so here is a summary for context -
I’m 5th grade my friend (C) started getting jealous cuz I started spending more time with someone else (K). Eventually around 7th grade she became an entitled and toxic B! Started bullying K and making fun of his ADHD. K is also half Chinese, so she straight up called him slurs. Bullied me after I defended him.
Now for the actual story. C and I get called into the library with my teacher (without K despite him being involved) and my teacher says that we’re gonna settle our disagreement. C LIES THROUGH HER TEETH and frames ME as the bad guy! Now my teacher doesn’t think I would start something like that so the teacher just says to leave each other alone. THAT IS IT! C gets away scot-free. Oh, and she continues bullying me and K. C is a twàt…
She’s lucky I don’t have the Death Note -_-
She made 7th grade miserable
Final score:
5points
#3
deciding to get myself into a predicament known as lightsaber collecting
Final score:
4points
#4
in last period today i was talking to my friend, and my little ADHD brain was focused on the conversation and when i went to sit down...i missed the chair....
Final score:
4points
#5
Perhaps indiscrete but, in the '70's, my friend and I were "impaired" in typical Cheech and Chong fashion and were sitting on the sidewalk outside a suburban grocery store. Some middle aged guy (we were teens) started doing magic tricks for us. Really good ones too. Who travels locally with their magic gear on em?
Final score:
3points
#6
I had the police called on me because someone thought I stole their dog. The dog was in their backyard the whole time. Also someone called me racist because my profile picture for them was a chili pepper. But it was just because I thought they were hot.
Final score:
3points
#7
I live in Mexico. Once during a roadtrip in 2006, when drug related violence hadn't quite exploded, me and my friends started chatting with a group of friendly locals bar. The place was a small concrete room outside a little village in the middle of nowhere. They invited us beer after beer. These guys were really chilled people, friendly and extremely nice and polite. At one point, one of the guys put his arm around my shoulder, and I could see a large, gold-plated pistol under his shirt.
And then one of my friends says: "You guys are really nice, What do you do for a living?"
Without battling an eyelid, the guy replied in slang "we snuff out some folks"...
Turns out we were partying with a group of cartel hitmen... Also, the party went on for some time, the guys paid their check (and ours) and left.
Final score:
2points
#8
I had recently rescued two small kittens. That same week, a futon I ordered arrived. I had the futon tipped over on its end as I was installing the furniture’s feet. The kittens were super curious. One of them started climbing up the side of the futon. Meanwhile, as I was tightening a foot in place… my head was perfectly positioned with my left ear facing the ceiling and my right ear was facing the floor. The kitten climbing knocked a small 3mm thick rod loose from a hinge. It fell perfectly into my left upwards facing ear, puncturing my eardrum. I didn’t know what had happened and I reached a hand up to cover my ear… jamming the rod even further into my middle ear. It came within a millimeter of my cochlea. Had it punctured that… I would have been deaf. A trip to urgent care resulted in a referral to an ENT, which was scheduled a week out. In the meantime, I needed to make a trip a few hours away and through a mountainous pass. The change in altitude resulted in a cerebrospinal fluid leak (CSF). Apparently, when the rod fell into my ear, it caused a fracture in my mastoid bone and after going over this mountainous pass, I had CSF dripping from my ear like a leaky faucet.
Long story short… putting together a new futon around my new kittens resulted in surgery to patch a hole in the dura mater surrounding my brain. The whole thing is utterly ridiculous!
Final score:
1point
#9
Lots of things, I’ll just say getting my old account banend on BP tho. That was ridiculous. Especially the reason behind it lol
Final score:
0points
#10
i was at a restaurant once and i said i'm going to close my eyes for 30 secs and when i open them the waitress will be here and it worked
Final score:
0points
#11
This didn't happen to me, but it happened to my husband.
He hurt his neck in our local area. Went to the doctor, who wrote a prescription for physical therapy. Then we went to our winter home, which is in another state.
He tried to get PT there, but they insisted on a local doctor to write a prescription for PT.
He went to a doctor to get them to write a prescription for PT. The doctor did that, but also set him up for a COLONOSCOPY!
So it ended up being that in order to get PT for his neck, he had to get a colonoscopy first.
I still don't understand why.
Final score:
0points
#12
This actually isn't the weirdest thing that's happened to me at all but it's the first to spring to mind. It was pretty horrifying at the time but years later, I look back at it with black humour and find it kinda funny. When I was 18, I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act as a danger to myself (I had Psychosis, Depression and PTSD at the time) but because I'd only come of age the week before, I had to go to the adult ward. My Mam was horrified for me but incredibly supportive, as she used to work in mental health anyway and knew all the right things to do and say to try and get me out as soon as possible. She brought me to the ward with lots of nice things like chocolate, pop, fluffy slippers, a teddy bear and so on, to try and make me feel less scared. We were sat with my stuff in the ward canteen waiting to see the admitting doctor when suddenly, one of the ward residents comes shuffling up to us; a little old man in a yellow jumper (it was July) wearing only one shoe, who clearly had Dementia of some kind. Well, he walked right up to us and stared at us for a full thirty seconds, even when my Mam tried to speak to him. He ignored her completely and without breaking eye contact with me, he immediately pissed his pants all over the floor, picked up a small six pack of Diet Coke my Mam had brought for me and toddled off again as if nothing had happened. Obviously at the time I was petrified and burst into tears the minute he left but funnily enough, I ended up seeing this guy almost every day in the medication line and he was completely harmless. I ended up being there for six months and by the end of it, the old man still had no idea who the Hell I was, even though we'd spoken many times. That first day in admitting was the day Mam taught me what black humour was and to be honest, I think it saved my life whilst I was in that place!
Final score:
0points
#13
There must be loads but this one is fresh in my mind. I was out with my dog and mum's dog who is called Humphrey. Humphrey is a 12 year old dozey cocker spaniel who is deaf and partially sighted. Therefore I walk him on a loose training lead so he doesn't get lost( just a long flat nylon line, much longer than an extendable lead). I'm just getting used to what to expect from him because my mum has gone into a care home so Humphrey now lives with us.
We were out in a field and walked across a footbridge made of a few wooden planks. This went over a muddy ditch which was about 5 feet deep and full of brambles.
I towed Humphrey in as we walked over but he still fell over the edge. One minute he was there, the next he has gone. I'd let go of his lead and he was running backwards and forwards getting it all tangled in the brambles. Just as I was working out how to rescue him, the plank I was standing on gave way so I fell into the ditch too!.
I got my coat caught in the brambles, so had to take it off. I had to take Humphrey off his lead and half lift and roll him back out the bridge. Then I had to untangle the lead and my coat and heave myself out out of the ditch. I was convered in mud.
I thought f***k this I'm going home. Having learned my lesson I kept Humphrey even closer while we walked back across the bridge. But he only went and fell in again.
No animals were hurt or traumatised. Only the human was.
Final score:
0points
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