Hey Pandas, What’s The Most Horrifying Thing Someone Confessed To You, Drunk Or Sober?

Something horrifying someone told you on their death bed, high/drunk or completely sober.

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He confessed to sleeping with my Mum. It was my Dad.

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Final score:

62points

Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.

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A fellow employee told me (over lunch!) that he baited large fish hooks and hung them from tree branches to catch and ultimately kill cats that wandered into his yard.

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Final score:

38points

Mary Bates

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GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

WE HAVE FOUND SATAN HIMSELF HE DESERVES TO STEP ON LEGOS EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF HIS EXISTENCE. No wait that’s not bad enough. Help me out pandas!

47points

Grizzly milk 1 year ago

HE SHALL BE DOOMED TO FOREVER LISTEN TO BABY SHARK, PERMANENTLY HAVE CATS SCRATCH HIM, AND USE THE GYMPIE GYMPIE AS TOILET PAPER!!!

16points

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Mermeow Overlord (they/them) 1 year ago

He needs to hang from one of his fish hooks, shouting for help and every person who passes by will have the choice to save him or kick him in the crotch, spoiler alert, they all kick him where the sun don't shine.

15points

UnimportantDog (she/her) 1 year ago

Lock him in a room filled with crying immortal screeching toddlers

15points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

Legos coated in the sap of mannchineel trees and the tiny barbs of the gympie gympie, then set him afire, put him out, set him on fire again...

13points

Nic Exists 1 year ago

a pit filled with lemon juice and sharp objects

11points

Star the Furry Therian! 1 year ago

HE SHALL BE DOMMED TO HAVE TWO WARM SIDES OF THE PILLOW AND THE TOILET ROLL FACING THE WRONG WAY FOREVER. Also he'll leave doors sliiiiiightly open just enough so when there's a breeze the door swings open. He's cursed to never be able to close them properly. >:3

10points

The Dog Lover (She/her) 1 year ago

Which medieval torture device should we pick?

9points

TheBlueBitterfly 1 year ago

I can't say here what should be done to him, too graphic.

9points

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Have every inch of his body flayed of skin, and leave him to run around in circles until he dies of massive blood loss and shock. Have his testicles slowly removed over several months with rusty razor wire. Turn him inside out, rub him with garlic and powdered glass, then right-side-out him again. Rearrange his bones in alphabetical order.

6points

Isa's left eye 1 year ago

He will forever wear warm, wet socks and must walk exactly 24,836 steps per day!

4points

Bored_Panda_Staff_17350615 1 year ago

PITS OF TARTARUS FOR HIM AND THE PUPPY KILLER

2points

ForThePeople 1 year ago

have a hangnail on every finger

2points

MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago

Firecrackers dropped into his underwear.

2points

Sova_Likes_Spoons 1 year ago

May this man feel the wrath of all things

2points

GenericSodaPop 1 year ago

Make him part of a human centipede

2points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble 1 year ago

Better Idea: Have him face the wall, we will shoot him in the back of the head.

2points

Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago

Girl that person is worse then Satan

1point

Crep 105 7 months ago

May a thousand fire ants infest his pubes.

0points

Me. 1 year ago

No Satan likes cats, this is one of the particularly unpleasant and smite loving angels

0points

TheBlueBitterfly 1 year ago

A friend in hs, their mother told me she would set bowls of antifreeze out for the strays. 😭🤮

5points

Xenon 1 year ago (edited)

My God that's awful. Had a neighbor when I was really young who used to set live traps in his yard. I don't know what animal he set them for but the traps caught a lot of birds. I, or course, snuck over there and released the birds.

6points

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GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago

What a jerkface

0points

3 AM 1 year ago

I'd make her drink it.

0points

Sinnsyk Jakte 1 year ago

Well then. An eye for an eye, they say. Fish hooks it is--in his pillows, his bath towels, socks, shoes, car seats, favorite midnight snacks, milk jug, doughnuts, car door handles... Hell. Does he have kids and a wife, I wonder...? I am no saint; I am not above putting fishhooks in teddy bears or lingerie.

4points

Rivers of Belief 1 year ago

Sick mentally sick

2points

Booker 1 year ago

I wonder if he set things on fire or p--d in his bed as a teenager.

2points

harurand 1 year ago

I really have issues with horrible posts about animals.. (yes I prefer animals to humans) because it genuinely disgusts me of the already horrible breed that we are.

1point

The CareTaker 1 year ago

this person and the drunk woman that kept stepping on the puppy need to be treated like they did the animals....."Do to others as YOU WANT THEM TO DO TO YOU" Clearly they are asking for it

1point

Lene 1 year ago

I am not really a cat-person but I cannot stand ppl that harm/torture/k!ll cats just because they are cats. I can't get my mind around the fact that some ppl hate a specific kind of animal so much simply because it is that kind of animal.

1point

DC 1 year ago

If that was my neighbour, I might be in jail. Damage my cat on purpose, and that was it with fun in your life, there just won't come any anymore...

1point

Tegan sophie 1 year ago

Too much animal trauma I am out

0points

Linda Riebel 1 year ago

This monster deserves to have fishhooks in his eyes.

0points

Kacey bjk 1 year ago

McChicken Nuggets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0points

Lord of the laserprinter. 1 year ago

Forced to listen to baby shark on a loop for all eternity.

0points

Steph Bombardier (Stephhhh) 1 year ago

god damn you i hope both sides of your pillow are warm

0points

Julia Cargile 1 year ago

Karma

0points

Leo Nannicelli 1 year ago

-1point

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A friend once confessed to stepping on my puppy while drunk. She couldnt get her footing so she kept "squishing" her foot around till she got traction. My puppy died 4 hrs later! I never knew why till she confessed. Haven't spoken with her since.

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Final score:

37points

Kathi Craig

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My former best friend just casually mentioned she condones conversion therapy. She has been dipping into weird ideological rabbit holes for some time already and that was the last straw which proved the friendship is slowly but surely going to hell.

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Final score:

26points

Luke Branwen

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It was during a fight. I said, "I wish I died. I wished I never existed."
And that person (who is pretty close to me and is supposed to be a good role model) agreed and said: "Yes, I wished you NEVER WERE BORN."

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Final score:

24points

Bye! Pancake_Pansexual_Panda_

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That they were only friends with me because they liked my sister...

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Final score:

21points

Rat Of The Swamps

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Best friend (at the time) confessed that she wanted to kill me and gave me death threats for 3 months

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Final score:

21points

Lex <3 (they/them)

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Confessed to murdering a child in their home country. Many hours spent trying to learn how to report a crime to a 3rd world country's legal system. Not fruitful.

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Final score:

19points

Elvira Melvina

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"I raped an 11-yr-old boy" from a friend's brother. He thought it funny b/c the boy was Iraqi and he himself was a bada$$ US Marine. "Then I pi$$ed on his body in the ditch." He was cold sober. I watched him grow up, he goes to war, that's who came back... Or was hiding inside all along :-(

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Final score:

19points

Leo Domitrix

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#10

My MIL (71 years old) confessed that she sometimes tries to see she’s able to put her toe in her mouth. You know, ‘to check I’m still able to do that’.
Every time I see her, I can’t get that picture off my mind

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Final score:

14points

Emanuelle

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#11

His real name, and why he didn't use it...

When I was living aboard in Thailand, my next door neighbor was an older Canadian expat and we were quite friendly. He'd regularly invite me over for tea or a beer. He told me some crazy stories of his travels. He had been living off a substantial pension for decades. When I asked him what his career was that had allowed him to retire so young, he said he had been a train conductor. Didn't think much more of it until one day, at our local bar, someone came in and recognized him, but called his a totally different name. He got kinda pale and made an excuse to go home. When I saw him for coffee the next morning, he confessed that year prior, due to no fault of his own (structural issue), his train had a horrible accident with many fatalities. Canadian government essentially paid him hush money to take the fall for the crash and secretly set him up with a fat pension. He couldn't stay in Canada cause he was blamed for the many deaths and publicly reviled, so he took the money and ran. He'd only been back to Canada once or twice in 30 years when I met him, and they were recent trips. He had to abandon his two kids when he left, and it's taken decades to rebuild any kind of relationship with them, but otherwise he's generally at peace with the whole thing. It would have been very hard to prove his innocence- he said he'd make the same choice again.

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Final score:

13points

PunnyPanda

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#12

A very close friend had been pregnant and desperately wanted a girl, but instead gave birth to a son. She confessed to me that she had frequently considered walking into the lake with him and drowning him.

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Final score:

10points

Debbie Louise

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#13

My mom, in a context I don't remember, told me that she'd been raped in her past. Considering she was an alcoholic til the day she died, it explained a lot, but I would give anything to un-know this.

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Final score:

10points

Tracy Wallick

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#14

A very, very, ex boyfriend from back in the 70's said he had sex with his own mother. Yes, biological mother. Seemed proud of it.

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Final score:

10points

marianne eliza

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#15

my friend confessed that he drank & smoked weed to avoid his depression.

idk anymore

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Final score:

7points

Invisigoth (he/him)

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#16

Horrifying? Maybe not, but it really ticked me off. This happened about a year ago. I got a phone call from, Gloria, a female friend that I've known for over 40 years, since we were teenagers. I had an absolutely MASSIVE crush on her back then. She has recently had a series of surgeries and was taking a lot of pain medication. She called and was obviously over-medicated. During the call she began telling me how much in love with me she was back when we were teens, but she never let me know because my older sister THREATENED HER to make her stay away from me. Apparently my sister didn't think she was right for me, and that she would hurt me. After I got off the phone with her, I called my sister and asked her about it. My sister said that she doesn't remember specifically saying anything to Gloria, but it sounds like something she would have done because she thought that Gloria was, to use the term of the time "fast". I couldn't get too mad at my sister because I've been happily married for 30 years, and I have a great family. But, damn, Gloria was FINE!

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Final score:

7points

Crescent 3

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#17

My ex in a bid to ”make me admit” to cheating on him, which I didn’t, confessed to sleeping with his neighbour’s wife during the lockdown.

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Final score:

6points

Tomi Adeleye

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#18

Someone confessed to having committed b********y. Ewww.

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Final score:

6points

censorshipsucks

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#19

A drunk man in panmure one day told me that he confessed to me that he knew what bus I catched, so I think he was stalking me?

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Final score:

5points

thatguy682

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#20

My friend told me that they were told they drove someone to committing when they were 9. I feel so bad for them-they were in a s****y situation, and it was NOT their fault (the person in mention was 15 and "dating" them) but they still feel terrible years later.

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Final score:

4points

QueerAxolotls

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#21

Not actually too bad. Theres probably been worse things I just cant think of, but my Unlce Mark said that he was fine with the Rattlesnake roundup (a festival in texas in which people round up rattlesnakes and torture them to death) Because rattlesnakes dont go to heaven and something about it being up to us to keep them in check (nature had been doing that since the dawn of life itself). He had never actually done this, because he doesn't live in texas and probably still wouldnt be interested, but, it was still pretty bad. I also had a friend confess to killing a ring neck snake when he was young, although he regretted it deeply so I dont think that was too bad

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Final score:

4points

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

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#22

I sat on a couch with a friend watching YouTube on a couch at his apartment. We had been friends your years and I knew he had mental health issues but they never bothered me and I still don't think people should be defined by them. Stone cold sober he all the sudden got really close to me and began to cry. I asked what was up and he said "I want to f**k you but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I know you're in a relationship and wouldn't want to so I'm trying to convince myself not to rape you. "

I cannot even begin to describe the amount of discomfort I had in that moment. I decided to just try to talk him through the options and be like 'do the right thing' meanwhile very much aware that it's like a 50/50 toss up in his head still and he has me pretty much pinned. He ended up not, and apologised over and over. I left and ran like absolute hell to my car and despite it all, after some time, we actually somehow stayed friends (honestly probably only because i took psychology on uni and I had seen many signs that his meds needed to be recalibrated before that point). He never did anything close to that ever again and while I'll never be completely at ease around him after that I know that he knows while he's forgiven it isn't forgotten. He always stays at least 4ft away from me when we're alone so he never makes me feel uncomfortable again.

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Final score:

4points

Hales

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#23

Sober. A co-worker confessed to me, without actually confessing to me that he went to strip clubs during lunch. He came by my cube to talk to me just after he returned from lunch. He had glitter smeared up the side of his face. He was seriously talking to me about a work issue.....with glitter plastered up the side of his cheek.

I said, "Dude, you just cant come to talk about a real problem with glitter up the side of your face."
A pregnant moment of silence, then *shocked, surprised*, he said, "OMG I found a bunch of glitter in one of my desk drawers."
Me: "Yeah, ok. No problem. Just maybe make sure to wash it off. Orrrrrrr.....don't get the stripper with glitter while you're at lunch. "

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Final score:

3points

By Deleted User

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#24

This all happened on Friday...

There's This girl in my class called K (obviously not real name) and she's the our years brat. Everyone I MEAN Everyone hates her. She's been like this since we were 8ish. This year I decided to put her in her place.

Her and freinds were messing around on this bench...she got pushed off..then jumps back on and starts playing again. Then 10mins later she's SCREAMING her head off at her freinds (freinds don't like her) about how she asked them to stop and they kept 'hurting' her. I overheard this and began to laugh.
K: oh U THINKS THIS IS FUNNY?!?!
Me: K, it's actually HILARIOUS
K: looks pissed off

Later on her 'freind' *ACIDENTLY* (spelling soz) scratches her (hardly) and she bursts into tears. As if the world ended. Goes and puts a wet paper towel on it (coz they fix everything lol) and shows everyone her battle scars (lol) . As we go inside she ransaxks her bag and pulls out A BANDAGE (BANDAID 🇺🇸) and puts her arm in a SLING, for a scratch. When me and her were alone we had this exchange:
K: Oh (my name) look at my horrible scratch, I think I'll need to go to HOSPITAL! (Her face 😥😭)
Me: K your being really pathetic.
K: WELL IT ACTCHULLY HURTS!!! 😭😭
Me (snapping): WELL YOU KNOW WHAT HURTS?!? (Tells her WVERYTHING that hurts when I was in hospital w cancer) THAT HURTS!
I stomped away then.
She then (during PE) was YELLING at a girl who WAS AUTISTIC (her autism dosn5 like noise)
I stormed over to her and snapped:
Stop YELLING!!!
She then burst into tears. BUT this week she's been SUPER NICE (weird) but Idc tbh. Then my freinds told me something HORRIBLE. After I told her she was pathetic. She went up to my bestie (??? Why???) And said I was using my cancer to be rude to everyone. WTH?!? I haven't argued w anyone but her lol.

TDLR:
A bratty girl who I tried to put in her place said I was using my cancer as an excuse to be mean.

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Final score:

3points

MINNI THE HAMSTER

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#25

Girlfriend had an affair with my Dad. :/

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Final score:

3points

Ben Collett

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#26

In eighth grade a girlfriend confided in me that her widowed father sexually abused her. I was too young and unfamiliar with how to deal with such things. She made me promise to never tell anyone. This is the first I’ve mentioned it in 60 years.

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Final score:

3points

Never Snarky

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#27

my dad yelled at me for not being able to fully take care of myself, im failing my 3 younger sisters i should be cooking dinner by now i always expect everything to be handed to me.
I am almost 13 years old, I take care of 3 younger sisters and my older brother with autism, I have an ed, and i dont ask for anything. guess im "mature for my age" yknow.

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Final score:

3points

Robby (Ze/Zir)

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#28

This happened years ago, when I was maybe 20-something (I’m now 35), but; I once stayed at my sister’s place & sat up late with my sister’s partner, after they’d been drinking. I wasn’t drinking, but I’m a night-owl, so I was okay sitting up & chatting with my BIL, whilst my sister had already gone to bed. Well, he’d had quite a lot to drink & then out of the blue, he pointed at a mounted samurai sword (like the one from the “Kill Bill” movies) & he said “See that samurai sword right there? I’d just love an excuse to use it one day.” Honest to god, it immediately chilled my blood. But, as I always try to think rationally, I decided it was just stupid drunk talk & hastily changed the subject. My BIL hasn’t brought it up since & he still has the samurai sword. Although he still drinks a lot, he’s not abusive or violent in any way & he’s a great dad to my little niece & older niece/nephew, regardless of his drinking habit. So, I have to conclude that it was just the booze talking. NGL, it did unnerve me at the time, though… 😨

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Final score:

3points

AspieGirl88

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#29

My ex confessed to me that he ended up killing a thug back when he was a teen and in a gang. From what he told me it was self defense and the gun was held in the thugs hand the whole time. My ex bent his hand back towards the thug just as he pulled the trigger, making the thug shoot himself.

Sounds far-fetched but my ex really does have quick reflexes. He was never charged with anything. Apparently no one else knew, not even his parents nor his best friend. Not sure why he told me and I'm not sure how much truth is his in story. He could've also just been trying to come across more badass than he necessarily needed to.

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Final score:

3points

StrangeOne

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#30

my friend who was a Latino woman told me that she was a Trump supporter.

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Final score:

2points

i love hawaiian margarita pizz

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#31

my male co-worker told me multiple times that his favorite scene in QT's Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is where a female assailant is being torched with a flamethrower by Leonard Decaprio's character. he gets really excited every time he mentions it.

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Final score:

2points

i love hawaiian margarita pizz

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#32

Had an old friend tell me that her older brother and his best friend molested her when she was about 3 or 4. Her mother knew about it. Punished her but not her brother.

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Final score:

2points

Sammy boy

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#33

Not horrifying but here it is. A former friend and his friend bought two NFL game tickets. Discovered they were for wheelchair use only. ( one support person and the person in a wheelchair ) Tried to return the tickets and was not allowed a refund.

They decided to borrow a wheelchair and attend the game anyway. Personally I decided to back away from the friendship.

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Final score:

1point

Rivers of Belief

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#34

I was making conversation with a much older man on the bus, it started when the bus had slammed its breaks to avoid hitting something that was in the road. He casually mentioned he had just gotten out of prison a few days earlier and some dumbo next to us asked what he was in for. "Murder." Everyone that heard him ended up scooting away and leaving a 10 foot radius around him and I. Put me in an awkward situation. I was 19. I just kinda kept talking, ignoring the fact that I was talking to a recently released murderer.

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Final score:

1point

Headless Horseman

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#35

This kind of helpful post has never been seen. I'm appreciative of your help and hope to see more entries like this one in the future. I'm grateful, as always.

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Final score:

1point