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Hey Pandas, What’s The Greatest Roast You’ve Heard Or Used? (Closed)

Roasts. Burns. Sassy, witty comebacks used globe wide. If you’ve heard em’, say em (and the story!), if you know 'em’, tell us, and if YOU’VE used one, share all about it! Enjoy!

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#1

All of these are shakespeare's sorry there is so many

More of your conversation would infect my brain.

Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows!

Away, you mouldy rogue, away!

I do desire that we may be better strangers.

I am sick when I do look on thee

Out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes

Thou art as fat as butter

That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?

Thou art unfit for any place but hell.

Final score:

4points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he)

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#2

my dog likes everyone but you.

Final score:

3points

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#3

Some kid was telling me I was lame because my mom drove a car that wasn't the one he had (He had a lambo) and I was so mad, because we had so many awesome memories with that car. Then he yells, "YOU'RE UGLY JUST LIKE YOUR CAR" and I just yell back

"OH YEAH? WELL YOU'RE SO UGLY YOUR MOM DROPPED YOU OFF AT SCHOOL THEN GOT A TICKET FOR LITTERING ON SCHOOL GROUNDS"

And everyone started screaming and pointed at him and my ginormous and tall friend put me on his shoulders and ran around yelling until the teachers made us all sit down.

It was still really awesome though.

Final score:

3points

M_E the Meguca Wolf

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#4

It’s impossible to underestimate you.

Final score:

2points

#5

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Final score:

2points

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#6

no u

Final score:

2points

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#7

Even blurryface doesnt care what you think. It's a twenty one pilots reference, I love their music lol

Final score:

1point

Blinding_Darkness

artbyaerin

my art tiktok :) https://www.tiktok.com/@artbyaerin ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Hey! I’m Astrid, a teen artist, writer, and contortionist. I’ve almost completely ditched this site, so I dunno how you got here, but hi anyways !)

my art tiktok :) https://www.tiktok.com/@artbyaerin ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Hey! I’m Astrid, a teen artist, writer, and contortionist. I’ve almost completely ditched this site, so I dunno how you got here, but hi anyways !)

Diana Lopetaitė

Hey there, Pandas! My name is Diana (though some prefer to refer to me as Diane, Deanna, and even Liana sometimes), and I am a Community Post Moderator Lead for Bored Panda. As my position title states, I am one of the people (employed Pandas for bamboo) over here who work with the community side of things on this website to ensure all is well, and while at that, I also help various creators and artists get recognition for the incredible work they do by connecting them to a large worldwide audience. Other than that, outside of work, you can find me brewing a nice cup of coffee, making a pizza from scratch, or baking brownies. I also love traveling, concerts, and cats (heavy on that, because I am a cat mom).

Hey there, Pandas! My name is Diana (though some prefer to refer to me as Diane, Deanna, and even Liana sometimes), and I am a Community Post Moderator Lead for Bored Panda. As my position title states, I am one of the people (employed Pandas for bamboo) over here who work with the community side of things on this website to ensure all is well, and while at that, I also help various creators and artists get recognition for the incredible work they do by connecting them to a large worldwide audience. Other than that, outside of work, you can find me brewing a nice cup of coffee, making a pizza from scratch, or baking brownies. I also love traveling, concerts, and cats (heavy on that, because I am a cat mom).

What do you think ?

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