Hey Pandas, What’s That One Story You Can Just Never Find A Good Time To Say? (Closed)

What is it?

when i was 7, me and my sister really really wanted a hamster, so my parents said we could get one. it wasn’t easy to get them to say yes, we researched a ton about them and even made little presentations. but then we learned that hamsters were illegal where i live. so we asked for a guinea pig and did the same thing, and even though we lobbied for like a year, they always said no.

Report

Final score:

7points

green penguin / isabelle

POST

I was vacuuming recently, and I had to run to the kitchen for some reason. Well, I forgot that the vacuum was attached to an extension cord which was lying in wait for me, ready to strike.Sure enough, my foot got tangled in the darn thing. Both of my feet actually lifted off the ground and I went flying forward onto the fake hardwood floor, landing a few feet from where I had been standing at the beginning of the "trip", lol. I now have a zig zag scar above my left eyebrow in the shape of "The Flash" logo. I don't mind too much, being that the movie is Ezra Miller's "baby", so they say, so I've kind of been "branded" by him, and I can live with that forever!

Report

Final score:

7points

Michele Lein

POST

in the shower the other day i was reading the back of a shampoo bottle which had the whole list of “NO parabens NO sulfates NO artificial colour” and i read the last one and scanned the whole list and then i went

“HAH! I caught out the big corp! it doesnt say ANYTHING abt artificial flavour, the liars!!!!!”

Report

Final score:

7points

Tuesday is going offline

POST

Show comments

I was crazy once. they locked me in a big wide room. there were no windows in that room. I died in that room. they put my body in a big deep hole. there were worms in that hole. i hate worms. worms drive me crazy. crazy? I was crazy once. they locked me in a big wide room. there were no windows in that room. I died in that room. they put my body in a big deep hole. there were worms in that hole. i hate worms. worms drive me crazy. crazy? I was crazy once. they locked me in a big wide room. there were no windows in that room. I died in that room. they put my body in a big deep hole. there were worms in that hole. i hate worms. worms drive me crazy. crazy? I was crazy once. they locked me in a big wide room. there were no windows in that room. I died in that room. they put my body in a big deep hole. there were worms in that hole. i hate worms. worms drive me crazy. crazy? I was crazy once. they locked me in a big wide room. there were no windows in that room. I died in that room. they put my body in a big deep hole. there were worms in that hole. i hate worms. worms drive me crazy.

Report

Final score:

2points

Gay-Trash-Panda

POST

Show comments

I was with my dad and we were grabbing my grandparents' mail for them when they were out of town. I ran inside to put the mail on their counter while my dad sat in the truck.
They had given us their garage door opener thing so we didn't have to go through the front door. So I was walking out of the garage to get back in the truck.
As a joke, my dad pressed the "close" button to lower the door with the intention of scaring me into thinking that he was going to trap me in the garage.
What he didn't know was that i stare at my feet when I walk, partially because I am a very clumsy person and partially because I hate eye contact.
So I didn't stop and the garage door hit me square in the forehead, and I did the classic cartoon fall where my feet kept walking as my upper body stopped, causing me to land flat on my back. Next thing I knew, I was staring at the lowering garage door, head hurting and confused.
I roll out of the way and stand up. I just see my dad dying of laughter in the front seat of the truck. My head hurt for a few days after that.

Report

Final score:

2points

Allydog57

POST

Show comments

A story that’s never a good time to tell? You mean, like, the time my pants were off, I was bared-bum sitting in poison oak, holding a bunch of carrots, and nonchalantly talking to an unsuspecting police officer at 5:30?

Report

Final score:

2points

In_the_gorge

POST

Show comments

HERE WE GO Y'ALL ASKED FOR THIS
Two stories, actually. Both related, because both are about crows (who could have guessed)
When I was younger, my sister and I found three baby crows and one baby crow corpse that had been shunted out of the next and hit an electrical wire. The parents were not protecting their kiddos at all (BIG no-no and very rare in crows, they also didn't have a flock to help them protect the lil guys) so ym sister started petting them and then, since they were all sitting down as if they didn't know hoe to walk, lifted one up. It started to walk around, and we both left. When we came backa few days later, they were all gone- except for one, hidden behind a hedge. We're pretty sure that a cat got the two that couldn't walk, and the one who could got away.

Secondarily, last summer, I was feeding crows parts of my sandwich and also peanuts (I keep unsalted/unroasted peanuts in my pockets for crows) and there were like 20 of these full-grown, slightly grumpy crows who were holding a tenuous truce, a few occasionally colliding in a race for a peanut or a bit of bread, and then I glance up to a nearby holly tree and see a little tiny flash of bright blue- it's a stellar's Jay, and a scrawny little juvenile. It's eyeing these twenty-some crows that are already on edge and are all like twice the little man's size and then, as I watch, it leaps off of it's perch and dives towards this crow that's pecking at a peanut. I wince as it collides with the crow- this guy's tiny and crows 1) are huge in comparison 2) hate the stellars jays in my area with a passion (they fight over my family's supply of peanuts) and 3) are already unhappy and tense. So I'm a split second the little scrawny jay is being crowded around by like 10 of the crows, the others too stubborn to abandon their food. The jay jumps away and flies off and half of the group follows it into the sky, then I lose sight of them and continue feeding the ~ 15 crows left. A few minutes later, I hear very angry cawing emerging from my right, and I glance up to see those few crows still after that little jay, who's somehow managed to stay in front of them. As they pass over the place where I'm feeding the other crows, some of them peel off and give up the chase, soon followed by the others. What's more, I'm pretty sure I saw a flash of something in the jay's mouth, which means that not only did the little guy go up against multiple flocks of crows (we have two in my area and I'm pretty sure that my 20 had representatives from both), get out of a fight unscathed (as a tiny scrawny juvenile no less!), and outrun the more angry ones, but he also came out of that successful. That little m**********r took on nearly a dozen grumpy city crows as a half-grown, scrawny little jay and he f*****g won. He got the damn peanut. Thit could be a Disney short.

Report

Final score:

1point