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Hey Pandas, What’s Something Your Parents Said To You That Hurt And Still Sticks With You?
Tell me about what your parents said that stuck with you, it can be step-parents, real parents, foster parents, etc.
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#1
I was told I was the reason my parents marriage was failing when I was younger so many times. I've changed into the ideal child for them and it's still failing it seems I was never the problem.
Final score:
6points
Do-nut touch da donut 7 months ago
You are not the problem and never was!! Im sorry your parents werent adult enough to own up to their faults but it will never be your fault!! <3
RELATED:
#2
This was a couple years ago. My dad and I were having an argument. There were raised voices and yelling. My aunt said oh won’t she just shut up already (meaning me) and my dad said if I had a gun I would shoot her and kill her right now, that would make her shut up. I was 10. It’s been a while now and I still remember that. The look on face seemed like he really would have. I’ve told my mom and she doesn’t remember. He says it never happened and I’m just lying. Buuut anywho, I’m still alive so he hasn’t done it yet.
Final score:
5points
Red PANda (she/they) 7 months ago
What the actual f—okay, first of all, that’s gaslighting, second of all, any dad that wants to KILL THEIR OWN CHILD is ROYALLY MESSED UP, third of all, that must have been terrifying, I hope you’re doing better now <3
#3
I remember my dad saying during an argument that I was very selfish and horrible. Another time, out of the blue he said I'm hard/difficult to love and man does that s**t hurt so bad my god. So now I think I'm a horrible, mean and nasty human being that doesn't deserve to exist. ti's all peachy.
Final score:
4points
Red PANda (she/they) 7 months ago
It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. Whether you’re “horrible” or not is determined by if you’re actively striving to be a better person or not. That means not only trying to be nice to others, but nice to yourself <3 Recognize yourself as a human being equal in value to other human beings, and treat yourself as such. That’s how I think about it. Using that logic, if you’re worried about being a bad person, then you’re a good person (I hope that made sense).
Aud (formerly Spooky) 7 months ago
I don't know you, but I hope you're doing okay <3. Hang in there, and know that bored panda is a safe space
Pigeonvonbirb (Submission author) 7 months ago (edited)
This was quite a long time ago (a few months ago) so honestly I'm suprised I haven't gotten over it lmao
Red PANda (she/they) 7 months ago (edited)
A few months ago is not that long for something like that. It really hurts when someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally, support you, and who you’re supposed to look up to says something like that. If my dad said something like that to me, I wouldn’t “get over it“ for a year at minimum. And I would still think about it sometimes. I have a really strong bond with my dad, though; idk what your relationship is like with yours, so that might change some factors but STILL. It’s perfectly valid that that still affects you because stuff like that can really hurt.
Load More Replies... Makenzie McNeal 7 months ago
You aren't anything he said you are. I bet you're a wonderful person, hang in there, I believe in you.
#4
well, when my dad was really bad, I had a breakdown and my mom basically said "you cant save people who don't want to be saved" and that hurt.
or when I was 7 and my dad told me o could never trust anyone no matter what
Final score:
4points
#5
More so something he didn’t say.
I got my first A+ at school ever, but so did my younger sister. I told my dad first he told my sister he was proud of her. Not me. Never been me
Final score:
4points
Red PANda (she/they) 7 months ago
I’m proud of you for getting that A+! Sometimes with situations like that you can never win :/ You just have to learn how to work for your own approval and be proud of yourself, cuz chances are your dad’s not going to change, unfortunately. It’s not because you aren’t good enough; it’s because of his way of thinking. Be kind to yourself <3
#6
“ I should have sat on your head the day you were born” head it for a good portion of my childhood.
Final score:
4points
#8
I'm on the app, so mine is too long. It's in the comments section.
Final score:
3points
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! (Submission author) 7 months ago
When I was twelve, I was chubby. I weighed maybe 30, 40 pounds more than I should have. I'd learned to ride horses the summer before, at church camp. There were no opportunities for me to ride after my week at camp. So the next year, we went to Silver Dollar City. There was a pony there to give rides to small children. Having not been able to ride in a year, I desperately wanted even a kiddy pony ride. The man said the pony would be strong enough to hold me. I tried to put my foot in the covered stirrup, meant for young children. I couldn't get more than my big toe in the stirrup. Oddly enough, my big toe couldn't support my weight getting into the saddle. There just was no way. Defeated, I gave up. I simply couldn't get enough leverage. As we were walking away, my dad told me he couldn't believe he had a daughter that was too dam fat to get on a pony. I still carry that in my head and heart, 33 years later.
#9
Well, transgender is not exactly bad, but it's something we don't like because trans people think that God made a mistake in creating their gender, or they've been in certain situations where they feel that they aren't the gender they were assigned at birth and they try change it to match the gender they feel like they are. And it's wrong because God does not make mistakes with us and whatever gender you were born as is the one you were meant to be, period. Why do you ask? -my mom
for context i had told her that there was a trans student at school(never said it was me) and asked her why transgender was bad. thankfully, shes much more accepting after she revealed she knew about me being trans about 13 days ago
Final score:
3points
Red PANda (she/they) 7 months ago
The thing your mom got wrong is that God did not create gender. Gender is a culture, a social construct that we made ourselves, which served to fit us into specific roles in society. Now that we don’t really use it for that anymore/are trying to move away from that (moving away from gender roles, double standards, and sexism), it just kind of serves as a part of our personality or identity, and we can change it to fit our personality/identity if we want to because it’s not that big of a deal anymore, if that makes sense. God made biological sex, but we created the culture around biological sex ourselves, and can change it if we want to. At least that’s how I see it, as a Christian gender-fluid person <3
#10
Allow me to preface this by saying my mom is great and I love her, but she is TERRIBLE at handling panic attacks.
I’m having a terrible panic attack, freaking out, can’t move.
“JUST GET THE F*CK AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAY! I CAN’T BE NEAR YOU WHEN YOU’RE LIKE THIS! F*CKING GO AWAY!”
Final score:
3points
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism (Submission author) 7 months ago
It’s not so much the words as the fact that she does this EVERY SINGLE TIME.
#11
We visited our dad every summer for a few weeks (shared custody?) I was 10 and my brother was 8. Dad bought typical kid food and snacks and I saw the 2 pack of chips and said to my brother, "Look, a bag for you and one for me." My dad yells at me, "Why do you have to be so selfish!?" That has always stayed with me. I think I said this teasing that we wouldn't be fighting over them. Dad was one scary dude.
Final score:
2points
#12
I told my mom about my near four attempts, two of them very recent and just one day between. She f*****g mocked me. I tried and failed.
Final score:
2points
Makenzie McNeal 7 months ago
I'm so sorry if you ever need someone to talk to someone I'm here. If you want I can give you my discord user. But remember you are important and people care about you.
#13
This is hardly the most traumatic thing in this thread, just a reminder that words can stick and parents should avoid backhanded compliments.
When I was young - maybe age 8-10 or so - I forget - I cleaned my room and tried to do a really good job.
My mom: "You did a nice job cleaning your room" (me - happy feeling). Her next sentence: "It's too bad you can't keep it that way" (me - happy feeling gone).
Like I said - it's not a big deal. But I'm in my 60s so it's been half a century and I still remember it. Be careful with your words parents.
Full disclosure - on the whole my mom was pretty awesome. Always frank and honest with me, taught me various skills, taught me to treat people kindly even if they were not the same as me and so on. Possibly that's why the few times she said something hurtful stuck more - because she rarely did.
Final score:
1point
#14
I remember growing up we went on vacation to see my cousin's. I took my shoes off by the door to not track mud in. We were getting ready to go out for dinner and I couldn't find my shoes as they weren't by the door anymore. Well my dad got tired of waiting and mad that I couldn't keep up with my shoes and I ended up getting a whipping before my mom brought in my shoes that she had moved. Never an apology for the whipping. Never and admission that he was wrong. This has stuck with me almost 50 years.
Pair that with never hearing be was proud of me, loved me, gave me a hug and well you get the picture.
Overall he was a good dad. Always encouraged us to do what we wanted and supported us in those efforts. Always there to help out in a pinch. Always had food on the table.
But this, this sticks with me.
Final score:
1point
Makenzie McNeal 7 months ago
I'm sorry that happened. I know this may not be the same but I'm proud of you.
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