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Hey Pandas, What’s Something You Feel Guilty About, But Don’t Need To? (Closed)
Most of us have something we feel guilty about that we don't need to. It could be anything, as small as feeling bad for lying about reading the Terms of Service on a website when you haven't, or as big as doubting your choice to cut contact with a toxic person in your life. Neither of these is something bad, but you can get that festering notion that they are.
What's something you feel guilty for?
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#1
Somewhere I feel that I'm not good enough for my family even after the struggles, and the efforts I put into. Somewhere I always feel like I could've done better, been a better daughter, a better sister, and that I'm not putting my 100%. The pressure to be perfect is so real that it's making me ill. I'm not even exaggerating.
Yes, I'm the elder daughter of the family.
Final score:
19points
Pandapoo 4 months ago
You are an awesome oldest daughter. Don’t worry about it. I’m the youngest of seven girls. My oldest sister was a great mentor, even if she didn’t know it. She passed from cancer when I was 29. I still miss her and I’m in my 60s. Don’t worry about being perfect , just be you.
RELATED:
#2
When I see or hear about abused or abandoned pets. I know it's not my fault, and I can't control what other people do, but it still hurts my heart. Animal abuse consequences are not dire enough in my personal opinion.
Final score:
15points
Freya the Wanderer 4 months ago
Years ago I took in an abandoned cat. She was pregnant at the time - which could be why she was abandoned.
#3
Being on vacation while the co-workers you like are working.
Final score:
12points
#5
The list for things I don't feel guilty about is much shorter. I pretty much always feel guilty for something. Sorry is probably one of the most used words in my vocabulary. I know constantly saying sorry is annoying to many people but it's a default and then I say sorry for saying sorry. Ugh
Final score:
12points
#6
For refusing to accept my family's bullying and toxic behavior anymore.
I was scapegoated and humiliated for years, until I moved away and went low contact. Their abuse had serious consequences on my health: I developed bruxism, skin rashes as a result of high stress, social anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks. They dismissed all these as not a big deal, saying I should just "get over it" and "be grateful that you were not beaten".
I've been into therapy for a few years. Healing is both painful and amazing.
Guilt is something my mother occasionally manages to re-instill in me: "we're still your family and we love you". Nope, that's not love.
Final score:
11points
#7
Being female.
Final score:
10points
Danish Susanne 4 months ago (edited)
If there was any reason to feel guilty for being female, then the same would go for being male, and so almost all of humanity should feel guilty. And I bet those few who don't fall into one of those categories have enough problems to feel guilty about something they have no choice in.
#8
Did I do enough. Caring for my husband while he was so ill from cancer. Could I have done more, said something or nothing, been more supportive, the list is endless.
Final score:
10points
#9
Spending too much time on "Bored Panda".
Final score:
9points
Doozle bug 4 months ago
This is a guilt free activity that shields me from the horror of … well, just the horror
#10
Not responding to text messages immediately and muting the phone. It’s deliberate but I still feel funny about it
Final score:
9points
#11
That I'm autistic and can't always cope, I'm not the mother I should be because I can't do everything expected of me.
Final score:
8points
Danish Susanne 4 months ago (edited)
If you have children, the most important thing to do is loving them, showing them that you love them and above all listening to them. The second most important thing is keeping them fed, clothed and relatively clean. Anything else you can do for them is just surplus.
#12
At the moment, I've been off work for a month and a half with a bulging disk in my back, and chronic nerve pain.... really struggling with the guilt of letting down my employer and my workmates...
( very small company so they had to hire someone to do my job...)
Of course, the reason it got so bad because felt too guilty to mention it till I was in severe pain..... (luckily I haven't had a sick day in 5 years so had 2 months of sick leave accumulated, still feel bad though....)
Final score:
8points
#13
Leaving a shop without buying anything
Final score:
8points
Socks Thecate 4 months ago
Isn't that stupid? They didn't have what you wanted but still - guilt.
#14
I am estranged from nearly my entire family. The reason why is that I've embraced and accepted that I'm intersex, a woman, and a lesbian. The guilt I feel from never talking to people I loved growing up is pretty weak these days in light of the fact that my life is much better now! It definitely used to gnaw at me a lot worse, until I realized that if their love was that conditional then they probably never really loved me, just their idea of who I was.
Final score:
7points
A girl 4 months ago
I was officed with the lesbian "problem child' at a data center I was with because she "scared" everybody else. She had "anger" issues. I was going through some stuff in my hetero marriage and, dang, her life was just like mine minus the penis. Best office mate ever. We talked about relationship challenges for hours. I loved her as a real person, not an idea. And if I was ever in a knife fight, I'd want her on my side
#15
Im an irish catholic recovering alcoholic. You name it i can feel guilty abt it. Lol.
Final score:
7points
#16
I feel guilty about being a trans guy. There's a few reasons for it I guess. It feels like 1) I'm "turning my back" on women even though ik it's something I'm not choosing. It's hard to be a woman, and they're very often subjected to misogyny, so me being trans makes me think that I'm betraying them when I should be proud to be female
2) I'm a Catholic, but it's not bc of that, but rather bc my parents and friends/schoolmates (I'm in a Catholic school—funny how kids in Christian schools don't believe in/practice their religion until the topic of LGBTQ+ comes up, isn't it?) are homo/transphobic
3) I'm closeted, so I can't really be super masculine or anything and that makes me feel like I'm not REALLY trans sometimes, and that I'm pretending (the dysphoria says otherwise). Not fun 0/10 do not recommend
Also feel bad for submitting to my own post, I literally do not understand why this seems illegal for me to do 😔💔
Final score:
7points
#17
I am the caregiver for my elderly mother. My family and I live with her. She is my abuser, emotional and mental abuse. I don't want to be here and do this. My siblings have abandoned her so if I don't help her then she is alone. I couldn't live with the guilt of not helping but I don't want to stay. I do the best I can but living here is stressful and sometimes crushing.
Final score:
7points
#18
Being a Smart-*ss about literally anything that annoys me but can't change because it's too big for me to do anything about. It's that I feel guilty to being unable to do stuff about some large life things.
Humor is a coping mechanism to deal with a lot of big-world issue I wish I could improve but know I can't.
Final score:
6points
#19
Eating. I'm a food addict and still very overweight even though I lost a ton of weight already. No matter how healthy or how little I eat, or if it's a little treat, I always regret it after. Food makes me feel guilty every time.
Final score:
5points
#20
doing something I want to do for myself for once not having to make everyone else happy all the time
Final score:
5points
#21
I've worked past it but, as a kid, I felt guilty about my parent's alcoholism. It wasn't my fault. I couldn't fix it. It messed with my mind my entire childhood as I worked to make sure my younger brother was properly cared for. Therapy was key. I've been hyper-responsible my whole life.
Final score:
4points
#22
When my older cousin brother(18) asked me(13) to sleep with him, I know it wasn’t my fault, but it still feels like I was the one who did something wrong after he started ignoring me after I said no.
Final score:
4points
Lakshmi Marimuthu (Submission author) 4 months ago
Sorry, I accidentally posted this multiple times thinking it wasn’t working, does anyone know how to delete submissions?
#23
Realising there's absolutely nothing more I can do for my heroin-addict friend.
Final score:
4points
P Peitsch 4 months ago
Herion is death itself. The first shoot is enough for like 97% of the population to become an addict. There is like around 3-4% of the population (worldwide), who won't develop an addiction to it, for some genetically related reasons. I don't really care, who what makes with own life, but the most sure thing to ruin your life, is heroin.
#24
I easily feel guilty, even for things that aren’t within my control or my fault. One of the earliest ones I remember is feeling guilty for my family abandoning my grandma’s old cat when grandma had to move in permanently with us due to her rapidly declining health. The cat was left at her house because we lived in a rented house which didn’t allow pets. He was being fed by the neighbours but still abandoned.
I was less than 10 years old and according to the family dynamics I had growing up, I had no say in such grown up decisions. My parents love animals but I wish they at least gave a shot at discussing the issue with our house’s landlord. Maybe they could have hit a soft spot with the landlord. As for me I feel guilty for not overly pressing my parents to bring the cat home with us. I should have thrown tantrums or whatever and should have been relentless.
The cat died being run over by a vehicle several years later. He was trying to cross the small dirt road between grandma’s house and the neighbour’s house. He was so old and blind by then. I still can’t recall all this without choking up. I loved that cat and will never not feel like I failed him.
Final score:
4points
#25
For going no contact with my addicted/mentally ill son and brother. I spent five years cleaning them up and getting them on meds multiple times. They lid, cheated, stole, and got violent with me. I ignored my own health problems and they put me in a nursing home way too young. No more. I have disowned they both and I refuse to feel guilty. They made their choices and now I’ve made mine.
Final score:
3points
#26
Feeling that I'm letting friends/fellow church members down when I don't take part in strenuous physical activities when they ask generally for help, e.g. moving, church work days, etc. I'm 75 and disabled, and I know better, but it bothers me.
Final score:
3points
Lyone Fein 4 months ago
They should know better than to ask a 75 year old person for that sort of help!
#27
Well I know I always did my best for my late daughter but doesn't stop me lying awake at night and feeling guilt that I couldn't just make her better.
It'll be the anniversary of her passing in a couple of days so it's even harder at this time of year.
Another thing I have feelings of guilt about is I'm disabled and have a couple of serious conditions and one of is that I only have 40% lung function so can't breathe well at all. It limits some of the activities I can do with my partner who is very much an outdoors person, the same as I was before I got ill. I feel bad about that, and at the moment I'm recovering from an operation on my blocked carotid artery that was causing me mini strokes and she's having to do pretty much all of the housework for now whereas before I used to do most of it and the cooking. I feel she's not getting me at my best, but it's great to be loved for who I am anyway.
Final score:
3points
#28
The state of our planet and climate change. I have one daughter and I feel so sad we are leaving the fallout of climate change for future generations to deal with.
Final score:
2points
#29
This past December my 6 year old was invited to a friends birthday party that subsequently got canceled because the birthday girl got sick; we had already purchased a gift for her, the party woundup not being rescheduled. So March rolls around & another friend of my daughter & her friend has her birthday party. We got a gift for the March birthday girl, I sent along the gift for the December girl as well & instructed my daughter to give it to her. The March birthday gril really liked the gift for the December girl and she was disappointed it wasn't her gift.
Final score:
2points
#30
Asking to be paid after I finish a gig. I’ve told them my rate up front and I don’t lie about how long it took, but I still feel like I deserve less.
Final score:
2points
#31
being ✨bisexual✨.
And I ate the last bit of chocolate ice cream without telling anyone...
Final score:
2points
#32
When my older cousin brother(18) asked me(13) to sleep with him, I know it wasn’t my fault, but it still feels like I was the one who did something wrong after he started ignoring me after I said no.
Final score:
1point
#33
Spending my free time how I want to spend it, even if it's just playing a video game all day, or binge watching. Not being as productive on my off time. I have ADHD, habits are hard to keep, so I do what I can, and try not to feel guilty about what I don't do.
Final score:
1point
#34
Everything. My husband once told me I'd make a perfect Catholic. He's a former Catholic.
Final score:
1point
#35
When my older cousin brother(18) asked me(13) to sleep with him, I know it wasn’t my fault, but it still feels like I was the one who did something wrong after he started ignoring me after I said no.
Final score:
0points
#36
When my older cousin brother(18) asked me(13) to sleep with him, I know it wasn’t my fault, but it still feels like I was the one who did something wrong after he started ignoring me after I said no.
Final score:
0points
#37
I have two sons (10 and 6). They both want me to spend time with them individually (like most siblings, they fight), which I always do. But when I'm with either one, I feel guilty that I'm not with the other. I also feel guilty that my eldest got all of my attention until his brother came along, and now has to share. And I give myself extra bonus guilt points as I worry that my youngest has always had to share "Dad time". Maybe it's right to feel guilty though?
Final score:
0points
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