Hey Pandas, What’s A Red Flag That Often Gets Overlooked?

Either in romantic or platonic relationships.

This post may include affiliate links.

(Hasn’t been listed yet so case in point) Abusive to animals. Many serial killers started out killing animals.

Report

Final score:

12points

DoubleDoubleTiredAndTuckered

POST

Danish Susanne 6 months ago

I don't think this belongs here because it is not a red flag that tends to get overlooked.

12points

View more comments

when you express worries, dismisses it with "i'm sure you're just overthinking"

Report

Final score:

10points

char

POST

Rali Meyer 6 months ago

But I AM overthinking!

3points

View more comments

Not being loud and proud about your relationship. (platonic or not)
Acting scidish or embarrassed.
If someone doesn't want to be proud and confident then LEAVE. It's not a good relationship if the person is flat out embarrassed of you.

Report

Final score:

8points

apolegjm158

POST

StrangeOne 6 months ago

I agree to a point. Sometimes it's just that the person has had bad experiences showing off their relationship, or having a partner do that. It could be they're worried drama will start with an ex, perhaps. But I guess context is key. Like, I would be concerned if my bf refused to hold my hand walking down the street, or have me take down pictures of us together, and refuse to make his status showing "in a relationship" on facebook.

4points

View more comments

That you need to inform 'him/her' before doing literally anything, or else you end up with "You didn't tell you were doing that/ going there/ meeting your friends/ cutting your hair..

NO. I don't need to inform about every single littlest things I do.

🚩🚩🚩

Report

Final score:

7points

Lady Lestrange

POST

Freya the Wanderer 6 months ago

Also, you don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to give a reason for every f---ing thing you do or say.

2points

View more comments

A partner that ignores your opinions and if you complain then calls you ungrateful.

Report

Final score:

6points

By Deleted User

POST

being overly attentive. sure, it's great to be treated with so much attention. but, later it can evolve into being overly jealous, possessive, and just too smothering. i don't believe in the 'two become one' when you are with a partner whether in a marriage or not. i am never going to be part of another person and i don't want to be.

Report

Final score:

6points

talliloo

POST

never showing love, just reacting to it, unless the relationship is ending without them ending it.

Report

Final score:

5points

tragical dude

POST

If it seems to good to be true than it probably is. Lots of financial anxiety for many these days and a good deal may be worse than no deal.

Report

Final score:

5points

Vermonta

POST

StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)

My mom had many relationships and a few marriages while raising me. I have to say, the guys she dumped over the silliest things were the ones who I felt the most comfortable with, even though they weren't super well-off. The ones she married... yeah, we lived fancy and in nice, big enough homes, but they treated me like a pest, drank too much, and the marriages ended in assault charges. I was happier when it was just me and her living in a small apartment, and happiest when I moved out. I'll gladly take a great, loving relationship living low income and eating Mr. Noodles, than be in an abusive relationship eating steak dinners every night.

5points

I think the younger you are, the more susceptible you can be to overlooking red flags.

When they come to your job/school (assuming they go to a different school.) everyday and just hang around until you're done.
It's not a sweet act of showing how much they want to be with you and miss you. It's a controlling, possessive behaviour that could get you in trouble with your job/school.

Trying to coerce you into taking intimacy further than you're ready for. You should be able to have that conversation with your partner and they should be respecting your wishes. If they actually care enough about you, they can wait until you're ready to take things further. It has nothing to do with love. It's to do with mutual respect and consideration.

Stalking. Okay, we've all probably stared at our crushes way too long in class, tried figuring out who they are from external sources, etc. But if you just got with someone not too long ago, and they admit they followed you home because they wanted to see where you live, even if it's just a few times, months ago, RUN. They don't have to be a serial, consistent stalker in order to be bad news.

Report

Final score:

5points

StrangeOne

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

I really like these ones, and yes, they are all true. I especially see the top one in my college. One of my dormmates asked me if it was hard for everyone else's bfs to be around all the time and mine not, and it's because my bf has a life. If we want a future it's good that he's working and finishing his education just like I am.

2points

View more comments

#10

Sometimes you can just feel that something is off about someone. It’s an instinctive feeling, and overthinking can make you dismiss it, but hey, maybe pay more attention to the people around you.

Report

Final score:

4points

Bye, HelluvaHedgehogAlien

POST

#11

(platonic) If the friend doesn't seem interested in friendship/is constantly making excuses but hangs out with you anyway.

Report

Final score:

3points

I_Am_So_????

POST

William Plummer 6 months ago

Why would someone do this? I don't get it.

2points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#12

You're always starting the conversation (at first it might be shyness, but after a year of talking to them it shouldn't be constantly the same person to interact), not caring about how you're doing. I mainly see it in platonic but if it's romantic I guess it's more common to realize but still no.

Report

Final score:

3points

ThatGirlCalledWren

POST

Heffalump 6 months ago

Some people are more comfortable with a companionable silence than others: the person least comfortable will always be first to break the silence.The test is not whether they speak first, but are they (usually) fully involved in the conversation, or is conversing with them like drawing teeth?

0points

#13

Very passive, doesn’t initiate stuff on their own, you have to do everything yourself.

I’m really bad at this, and it’s an ongoing issue with my best friend. I’m trying to improve though.

On the flip side, super over the top, always planning, getting excited, doing big things. This can be either love bombing, or something more innocent, but it can get really exhausting. It’s ok to take a day to just slug out at home.

Report

Final score:

2points

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Don't feel bad, I'm the same way. I adore my bf but my first reaction is sort of a passive "only if you really want to" attitude that drives him crazy. I'm working on it.

0points

#14

Let me note that I am nearly 52 years by now, and NEVER have been any sort of relationship expert, but from the real life lessons:

Whenever we start making excuses about a person, or their misbehavior, then nothing of our mind-cocktail is the reality of it! It IS a form of denial, often sadly so.

Report

Final score:

2points

Andre Michael Pietroschek

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Solid

2points

#15

They never EVER say a single nice thing about their ex. No matter how terrible they became, if you can't talk about at least some of the good times, then you haven't dealt with it.

Report

Final score:

2points

Kurtz Frausun

POST

Doodles1983 6 months ago

Ish. An ex can be an abuser from day one. Maybe they genuinely never had a good experience, thus nothing good to say isn’t necessarily about trauma.

0points

#16

If they always want to do their thing (like an activity, vacation, or dining out) but never your thing. That person is probably not looking for a partner.

Report

Final score:

2points

Angelshark

POST

#17

If you walk into her house and she only has pictures of herself but none of her 2 boys.

Report

Final score:

2points

Thatkamloopsguy

POST

Sarah 6 months ago

Yikes!

0points

See Also on Bored Panda

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#18

Being over 30 and not having a proper bed, only one set of bed linen.

Report

Final score:

2points

madeleine f

POST

#19

It isn’t two way.

There should always be some give and take in a healthy relationship.

If there isn’t, one party is likely a narcissist.

Report

Final score:

1point

Doodles1983

POST

#20

The way they treat their mother, and other family members. It's an early sign that you can pick up through even the smallest acts.

Report

Final score:

1point

Makenzie McNeal

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

This is so true. How they treat their family now is the pattern they will continue with you eventually.

1point

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#21

When it's all new and they say "you have to trust me" or any variation on that.

Trust is earned over time.

Also, love bombing....it isn't who they are, it's a tactic.

When they have issues meeting your friends or family after many months. Being a part of your normal life socially is the building blocks of a real relationship. Trying to isolate you or keep themselves separate is a means of either control or contempt or both.

Report

Final score:

1point

Libstak

POST

#22

A trash filled car. It probably means a filthy house or hoarding. I should have said no on that first date. She hoarded all kinds of things and some animals she wouldn't take care of.

Report

Final score:

1point

Bob H

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#23

Someone who gets fired from jobs frequently. Relationships can be hard work. If they won't make an effort for money, what makes you think they'll put in the work for you?

Report

Final score:

0points

Sarah

POST

#24

When you're early in a relationship and the conversation starts with - when we're fighting. Why is it assumed that we'll be fighting? I don't have a problem with disagreements; why would it have to devolve into fighting? And if it moves onto - make sure you fight back, coz I'll be thinking the whole time, I love this person so much? Just run. Someone that needs to fight is also likely to be a 'never wrong,' and you just can't live like that. If someone really loves you, there's no need for fighting. Disagreements, sure. You don't need to be disagreeable with it. My wife and I have been married 24 years and, with all our disagreements, we've never once got into a fight.

Report

Final score:

0points

David Jeffery

POST

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#25

Denmark's flag is pretty red.

Report

Final score:

-1point

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!

POST

Samsquatch & Monko 4 months ago

It’s true though

0points

View More Replies...

View more comments

#26

"What are you thinking?" Anyone who doesn't respect your right to privacy in your thoughts cannot respect your existence as a person who is not just there to satisfy their needs.

Report

Final score:

-2points

Heffalump

POST

Lil Miss Hobbit 6 months ago

Hmmm. Sometimes that's just an honest question.

0points

See Also on Bored Panda

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#27

being a vtuber or a furry

Report

Final score:

-3points

caillou

POST

Pansexual-Kat 1 month ago

Being a furry doesn't necessarily have to be a red flag. Being a furry is different for everyone, but for the most part, it's just fun. There's nothing bad about it.

0points

Hey Pandas, What’s A Red Flag That Often Gets Overlooked?

Games

Lil Miss Hobbit

Lil Miss Hobbit

Diana Lopetaitė

Diana Lopetaitė