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#1

Kid: "So you got an 80 on the test? That's sad."
Me: "Well, you know what else is sad? Your face!"
Yeah...haven't been allowed to forget that thanks to my friends.

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Black Pearl
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DUN DUN
DUN DUN
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was one of your friends, I'd probably make a wooden carving of those words and gift it to you on your birthday

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    #2

    We were at a small house party for a classmates 16th birthday.
    Quite possibly the prettiest girl in all of County Mayo asked my friend, 'Sooo d'ya like seafood?... because I can be quite the catch!
    My friend, oblivious to the strange and mysterious ways of courtship, didn't realise what she meant, so he just replied, 'I like some things, but I can't stand clams!'
    After a quick facepalm, and telling him he's a complete eeijit we explained that she was flirting. It all worked out ok because it seemed she preferred a wet drip!

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    Donkey boi
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    #3

    I'm 40 work at a so called professional building and I have a career. One day I walked in wearing my glasses. A douchebag coworker kept calling me 4 eyes. It was so childish and idiotic but he kept at it. I finally told him in front of everyone that I slept with his wife. ( Thank you Larry David or who ever in Seinfeld writing crew who came up with that line)

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    Tim leonard
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    #4

    I asked my manager for something at work.
    His reply was jokingly “No”
    I said “Pleeeeease?” in the most high-pitched, babyish voice ever.
    He didn’t say anything but I cringe every time I think about it.

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    ChariotLee
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    #5

    “Your comeback was so bad, it didn’t even come back!”

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    ceraunophile
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    #6

    2 REALLY nerdy pickup lines.

    Are you Copper and Tellerium, because you are CuTe.

    And

    Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? Because you’re F-I-Ne.

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    Kenneth Mears
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    #7

    "Your eyes are cute"
    "Y-you too."

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    Titas Burinskas
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    dundun avatar
    DUN DUN
    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I literally FELT that "y-you too" part and died from inside. My condolences.

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    #8

    Some one said to me your ugly I replyed ok what are you.

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    Purplesloth4586
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    dundun avatar
    DUN DUN
    DUN DUN
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    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No nono nonono THAT is a great reply. I'm borrowing it.

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    #9

    Ya like jazz?

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    Wise beauty
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    #10

    I like my basket ball shots like I like my girls~ on the rebound

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    Trey Shipp
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    #11

    Hey [previous crush's name], last name beautiful.

    No, I hadn't asked a girl out before. This was horrible, I'm better at roasts lol

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    The Witch Doctor
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    #12

    This isn’t mine but lets see who gets it “I don’t like sand, it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere”

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    Pizzaking, village burner.
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    #13

    Them: I only have two brain cells that work together for a brain.
    Me: who said you had brain cells

    I know it's lame but i was on the spot

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    Space Whale
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    #14

    One night at a rock club I was being hit on randomly here and there an just wanted to be able to get a drink an enjoy the show. I went with friends and was single at the time. So douch 5-6 or so comes up from behind me an goes “hey do I know you from somewhere?” I Didn’t turn but said “I don’t know. Have we f-ed before?” Hyper cringe but wound up dating him for about 6 months because he was cute. But then found out he was married an I didn’t want that drama.

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    Mad Mar
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    LooneyLovegood
    LooneyLovegood
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You didn't date him because of yhe drama... it's not because he's cheating on his wife?

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