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Or trans, or ace, or anything queer! What was your sudden, ‘ah shit I’m LGBTQ+’ moment?

Don’t hate! We love everyone, except you, queerphobes.

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#1

When I began middle school, I met this other gal named Savanna. We became fast friends and hung out together incessantly. When we both became freshmen, she became a cheerleader and I, despite being no where near cheerleader material, followed her just to be with her more.

Two years later, she was killed in a car accident. The moment I heard she was gone, I realized I had long since fallen in love with her, but it took losing her to see that love for what it really was.

That was over 20 years ago and I still started crying writing this. I guess you really never stop loving your first.

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Mizzy
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#2

Not a gay awakening as such, I am heterosexual, more of a realisation that people are not necessarily 100% straight. And that sexuality is not black and white.
I watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show aged 18 and thought wow, those men look hot ins suspenders and boots.
Since then I can admit to finding women, men, people that straddle that line, attractive.
Never explored that attraction, not sure if I ever will. but can happily admire beauty and sexiness.

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Nathaniel (He/Him) Cis Het.
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Carol Emory
Carol Emory
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am heterosexual too. But I also realized early on that being gay was not a sin, even though my grandparents and father felt is was. The icing on the cake was, during my paternal grandmother's funeral, my sister expressed how unhappy my grandmother would have been with the choice of venue. When I asked why she said "Our grandparents stopped coming to this church when they brought in a gay pastor." I never knew that my grandparents were outright homophobic. They seemed sweet and kind to everyone around them. I lost all respect for them on that day. I am also an avid believer that, as long as what a person does in their life doesn't harm anyone else, keep your judgements and your beliefs to yourself. I am also an avid believer that you can't help who you fall in love with. As long as they are good to each other and support each other emotionally/physically/financially...be happy!

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#3

When I realized I was looking at girls more than guys. I have had a gf for 12 years now and am happy about my place in LGBTQ+ community.

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Crocodile
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#4

The one I tell people is Herminone from Harry Potter but I know the truth
... Doofenshcmritz's daughter from Phineas and Ferb

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Shrimply the Best
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#5

When I was in 7th grade, I went to a summer camp. I had lots of fun, and I met a great girl. We laughed a lot, and I had this fluttering feeling whenever I saw her. I kept trying to deny what I felt, as I grew up in a strict Catholic household. Eventually though, I realized what I was feeling was okay, and I shouldn't be ashamed of myself.

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Giovanni Potage
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PiscesInTheWild
PiscesInTheWild
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad it came to that and you didn't shun or hate yourself for who you were for the rest of your life!

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#6

I was watching Brooklyn Nine Nine with my parents, and when one of the characters came out as bisexual, I thought "Huh, I didn't know that was an option, sounds cool."

This was six months after my parents and I got lost in Stockholm because of a Swedish pride parade.

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QueerAxolotls
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#7

Ahem….I present Poison Ivy, the villainess.

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Mel (He/They)
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#8

Ace but emotionally romantic here:

Never had any desire/interest in dating, no physical attraction to people but never thought too much about it. Did have a boyfriend for a time, but was always more in tune with the emotional over physical aspects. There were times when I wondered what was wrong with me, especially when he started to get pushy with physical things. Thankfully that broke off after highschool as there was a lot wrong with that relationship. (A lot of judgement and pressure among other things).

One day driving home my Mum turns to me at random and asks: hey are you ace?

I thought for a few moments and basically went
"Ooooh. That makes sense."

Putting a word to it helped with the feelings of being "broken" in a way, and it opened up a way to communicate up front with people. It makes growing close to people a lot easier now, although there is still always the fear that while people say they are okay with things up front, that at some point there will be disappointment.

Thinking about it also helped me reflect on the fact that I tend to get crushes on girls far more often lol.

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J W
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ⒾⓈⒶⒷⒺⓁⓁⒶ
ⒾⓈⒶⒷⒺⓁⓁⒶ
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m pretty sure I’m ace, you’re really lucky to have a parent who’s aware, or at least knows you enough to say that! :)

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#9

For my transness it was less an awakening and more 'hey maybe it isn't normal to wince whenever I hear someone referring to me with she/her pronouns' and even then it took way too long for me to accept it. I was actually wearing a he/they pin for about a month before I changed my pronouns just cause I wanted people to assume I wasn't a girl. It's really funny in retrospect.
My gay awakening was more 'o s**t that guys hot I think I'm bi' and then eventually realizing that while I am in fact bi I really do prefer guys and I identify mostly as gay with the occasional exception (usually for someone who's nonbinary). Back before I transitioned I had actually convinced myself I was a lesbian even though I never felt any sort of attraction to girls at all. I mean props to me for knowing I was gay I just didn't know which way I was gay

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crowspectre (he/they)
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#10

When I was 4 and was stalking a very attractive 19-year-old wherever I went. Looking back it was very creepy but I was barely able to know what attraction was. (We're both guys)

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that_gay_snake
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crowspectre (he/they)
crowspectre (he/they)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn u were four? I was 12 when I first felt attraction to a guy you were really on top of that

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#11

I always "knew" I was aroace (aromantic and asexual), and even on a small level nonbinary, despite not growing up with the terminology. My family will tell you the story about how I loudly declared at several points in my childhood that IF I *somehow* ever got married, I wouldn't be kissing my husband. I'd give him a fist bump instead. My gender expression and view of my body were not really either solidly Male or female, and I'd often take steps to specifically be seen as one or the other. I didn't exactly question it, even after I learned about being gay or binary trans? I kinda thought it was just how cis het people thought, and if anything I was pan.

I learned I was not straight or cis because of online roleplays I took part in with friends as a teenager where at three separate points in the span of a year I had to Google parts of my identity so I didn't seem like a colossal idiot (asexual, agender, and then aromantic).

Somehow, I did not feel like any less of an idiot 😔

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Reynie
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#12

Last year (sixth grade) my pe class was in a football unit and the boys were being a*sholes to me and one of my friends. I was like "well i hate boys and i bond better with girls. am i lesbian?" surprise surprise I was bi for a while before I (yet again) realised I only romantically like girls. Now I'm also asexual and demigirl.

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that one ace lesbian genderfae
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#13

A picture turned me on. The album cover of "Wish I'd Taken Pictures" by the Pansy Division. Half naked guy with a camera. Not even that. Fully clothed in pajamas with the top open. You can't even see anything. It triggered months of mental confusion and questioning and denial, begging to a higher power, beating myself up, tearing myself down. Nothing brought satisfaction. Nothing brought relief. Until I kissed a guy. Before that kiss, I could still deny the reality. After the kiss? Gay. ALL that angst - poof. Like a fart in the wind. All those questions? What questions? Of course I'm gay. A picture turned me on, made me question everything about myself until I reset my reality with a kiss.

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Casey Payne
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Amanita Muscaria
Amanita Muscaria
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Like a fart in the wind"😂 But seriously, good for you.

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#14

I’ve had two sort of distinct ones, one was more of a creeping suspicion and the other was a Hail Mary.

1) Kinda stupid, but playing Super Smash Bros: WoL in Spirit Mode. I had a type. I managed to halfway convince myself that I liked the pretty girls just bc I appreciated the art, but… nope.

2) I realized that straight people aren’t super uncomfortable with the idea of being straight/in a straight relationship. I just… really didn’t want to be straight. It seemed wrong. And yet I was still pretty convinced that I was doomed to be eternally hetero. Nope, I’m as gay as they come 😜🏳️‍🌈

Edit: I am gender-fluid, however I still consider myself to be lesbian. If that makes sense. I don’t have masculine energy very often, it’s typically feminine, androgynous, or demi-masculine. And THAT whole roller coaster is another story altogether.

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crowspectre (he/they)
crowspectre (he/they)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey! Fellow genderfluid! I'm genderfaun although I'm not outspoken about it cause 1) nobody knows what genderfaun means and 2) It's rare for me to solely use they/them or he/him pronouns, like once every couple weeks. You might be genderfae if you never feel totally masculine, that sounds pretty much like the definition

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#15

I realized I was bi around 18 when I realized at least half the girls I dated could easily be mistaken for guys, and noticed nothing turned me off more than a woman with huge breasts (Kinda changed since my wife is slightly above average in bust size, but that wasn't the quality that attracted me in the first point.). It was totally confirmed when I first saw Rob Lowe in St. Elmo's Fire.

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Ken Schroeder
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#16

I recently realized I am bisexual. I figured It out because there is a girl (I am also a girl) in my school that I've always been really attracted to. It took me a while to figure it out because I had never felt like that before, but It's the longest crush I've ever had on anyone. It's been a year and a half and I still really like her.

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Avenell
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#17

Less of a "Gay awakening" and more of an Ace one.
About 6 months ago I realized I was forcing myself to like people, and that I never really felt an attraction to people choked it up to me being demisexual. Then I started scrolling on ace subreddit and watching ace videos from onetopicatatime and such and was like "Woah I relate to that a lot! Still not ace tho" Lol-

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Vaiel
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#18

When I was younger I was OBSESSED with Zendaya and Tom Holland, I had HUGE crushes on them. And that's how I realized I am absolutely Bi or Pan.

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Spiderpopcatception
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#19

Lesbian awakening: everyone else is telling me to get a boyfriend but boys are so gross. Holy hell she’s hot! Whelp, I’m gay 🤷🏻.

Nonbinary awakening happened when I was much younger but I couldn’t put words to it until recently. The boys seem so much cooler. I want to be like them, but not a boy. I don’t want to be a girl either. I know that that sounds obvious, but this was a 3rd graders train of thought

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Grudge-holding Treefrog
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#20

Some information first, I come from a verry christian family that despite saying they don't judge anyone and love all they really have it out for anything to do with LGBTQIA+.

I had from a young age been verry curious about girls, but had to hide it. The first year of middle school I had a friend who would help me explore this side of me that I have been hiding for so long. Eventually we started to be more than friends and she was one of the only people who accepted me for all of me. She later moved away and I will always wonder what happened to her, it was like one of those hazy dreams in the warm summer breeze. I am now In highschool and I came out to my parents but they rejected it and so now I'm forced to be the perfect Christian child that they want. But I will always wonder what she and I could have become.

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Adeleine unknown
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Death Glare Champion
Death Glare Champion
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sorry. You'll find the freedom to be you once you're 18 and hopefully one day your parents will wake up. In the meantime, know that there are people like me, parents, that would have supported you. Loving someone means loving all of them, no matter what. You are you. That's amazing. They can suck it. Shame on them. You got this. Keep holding on. ❤️

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#21

It just never happened. I always liked a certain group of people but I didn't have the words to even explain it. When I was younger I thought the people I liked didn't even exist because I never saw someone like that in real life. To say I liked boys felt wrong even though it's somewhat true, it felt like another word to explain it was missing, because society never had the same definition of being a man as I did. Later on I realized I myself was like these puzzling people I liked, and just like for my sexuality I just didn't have the worda for myself. I'm androgynous before anything else, it's my biggest pride, male comes second. I do consider myself binary male, I just refuse to be externally masculine. And just like for myself, androgyny comes before anything when it comes to my sexuality, only after that comes liking guys and non-binary people.

Genuine representation for strong androgynous and effeminate man are sadly still lacking (usually these characters are made into a joke) and the same for romance focusing in enby characters. I dream with the day we'll have a super hero kick a*s in heels and well done nails and get the cute enbuoy in the end. But it's still really emotional to think how far we've come, from not a single word to explain who I liked to Double Trouble, a cartoon character kid me could have looked at and said "hey, I like them". From being told I'd "change my mind" as a kid to having a word to define what I disliked so much about relationships back then (amatonormatovity). It's always a surreal feeling, for someone who was always the monster, to feel like I'm not alone.

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Himory TheDreamer
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raincloud the whalien
raincloud the whalien
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*aggressively screams* DOUBLE TROUBLE!! AKH I love them I swear I still rewatch all their episodes religiously

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#22

millie bobby brown. i was obsessed with her for about a year, and this past summer i was just sitting in my room chilling and i was like oh sh!t im gay

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freakingbee (she/they)
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#23

so i was never sure cause i always assumed that whatever was weird about me that wasnt ADHD was normal for everyone, but a lot of things kinda led to it. all my barbie dolls were in love with each other. i alway felt kind of bad for relating to men who liked women on tv and in movies cause i thought they were written as kind of creepy. my first crush on a guy was very forced and it was really just cause i was trying to "fit in". but the way i finally realized that i was gay was some e-girl streamer chick doing asmr.
please dont judge me i was 13 and sleep deprived. (and to be fair she was really cute)

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the shrimp whisperer
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#24

When I was 14 years old, I dreamed that I was kissing a girl from my school that I had never seen before.

I woke up from shock and felt guilty for a while, then I began to come to the realization that this was not something to feel guilty about, and that it explained why I was so reluctant to get a firt kiss.

I had already slapped the first boy that had tried to kiss me.

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Sihana Beluli
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#25

She-ra the old 1985's version (i'm not that old my parents just put it on for me) Took 10 years to understand that "Oh, wait I want to kiss her not be her" (Pretty close to my exact words

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#26

I’m aroace, and I actually ended up with three awakenings.
1) When I learned what sex was in school and shuddered at the thought of someone a part of their body inside my body. Ever since then, I’ve known that I never want to have sex.

2) When I hadn’t had an actual crush by my freshman year and realized I have no desire to date a guy or even get married one day.

3) When my trans?(IDK what they identify as because they’ve changed it at least 3 times by now) friend told me what aroace means and I immediately thought “That’s me!”

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HistoryLover(she/her)
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#27

I always knew I was aroace despite not having the vocabulary for it-- my parents will tell this story about how a very young me would loudly insist that "IF i EVER get married, I'm not kissing the groom. Im fist bumping him. Because kissing is gross." I finally found the vocabulary through two separate online role plays because I had to Google them to figure out what they meant and not seem weird. Promptly tried not to slam my head into a desk from embarrassment.

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Reynie
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#28

Raquelle from that one barbie show. I also used to make all my girls dolls be girlfriends and claimed it was because I had no male ones. (i purposely did not get any)

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astrid
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#29

I had a crush on my best friend in 1st grade, it continued till 3rd grade when I met the love of my life

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Robby (Ze/Zir)
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Ashen Brooks (They/Them) (Submission author)
Ashen Brooks (They/Them)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but the rest was I thought she was the best thing that happened to me, and she still is. but she died from sickness...I dated someone for the first time since currently but its was a toxic 11 months so i'm probably going to be single for a while.....

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#30

When I finally saw a teen friend for the first time in a while and I wanted to hold her hand and kiss her cheek. (We were not that close, but she represented a lot for me) It took me a while as I'm demi, so didn't think about it much; was a huge relief when I found out about the attraction spectrum and I knew I wasn't broken for not having much interest.

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Warpendragn
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#31

i was watching raven's home, the show, you know the one, and omg. i had the BIGGEST crush on tess (Sky Katz). i was probably like 10. i was kind of in denial like i just think shes cool, whatever,, but i would get butterflies whenever i saw her

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pp horrendous
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#32

One day my friend came out to me as pan and to support her and to just give myself more knowledge I started exploring everything and then later on I realized that I did like both girls and boys and I was like "huh I'm bi. cool :)" and then later I started realizing that maybe I wasn't sexually attracted to people but still romantically attracted? I'm still figuring things out but yeah :) 👍

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#33

When I was about ten, I had no clue that being gay even existed, but still had a huge crush on this girl that I knew. I got really nervous and giddy around her, was always trying to impress her, and got jealous whenever she would hang out with a guy instead of me. I convinced myself that I just really wanted to be her friend 😅

Fast forward a couple years, I meet my mom's friend's kid. Twelve-year-old me thought that she was just the absolute coolest. We started hanging out a bit, and then eventually I realized that I had feelings for her. By this time I knew that not everyone was straight, and after a lot of panicking, thinking, and searching up "am I gay" quizzes on google, I finally realized that I was bi. I never told my friend how I felt though, both due to her being a couple years older than me and having a girlfriend by the time I was sure of my feelings. We're still in touch however, and I'm really grateful for her.

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#34

... Luna from loud house. During a hurricane we bought a disc of the first two seasons. There's this episode (spoilers) where everyone is helping each other with their crushes. Luna just keeps saying Sam, along with her sisters and brother. Never any pronouns. There's scenes where she tries to talk to Sam, but they're always in a group. At the end, Luna slips a note into Sam's locker. The group Luna was talking with walks by, and *a girl* opens the locker. When I tell you I freaked out, I freaked out. I was just like "THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENS TO OTHER PEOPLE NO WAYYY". Im currently re watching the show, and there's a later episode that's focused on Luna and Sam going on a date. Y'all have no idea how supportive Luna's whole family is! Her two older sisters asked for updates constantly. And y'all have no idea HOW HAPPY I WAS. Like- I don't even understand

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BeepBoop is Lonely (she/they)
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Me
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOUD HOUSE YASSSSS!!!! What episode was it I need to know…

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#35

New panda here and I wanted to add my answer!

I realized I was gay when I started looking at women with more interest than men. At first, I thought I was bisexual, but nope! I realized I was lesbian

I am now happily dating my girlfriend of 3 months and am looking forward to spending Valentine's day and every day I can with her!

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#36

when i looked back on my life and realized how many crushes (guys and girls) i had during my school years…

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A_Human_Bean
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#37

you know, i didn't even really consider this my "awakening" until recently. when i was in 4th grade, my best friend came out to me as gay. i was the first one he told and i was confused. he had to explain the entire premise to me. I was completely unaware people could like people of the same gender.


well needless to say, i started noticing attractions to men, and while my parents might not approve, i have the sweetest boyfriend ever because of it.

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Caligo(he/they)
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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry your parents aren’t supportive, and I’m glad you’re in a good relationship!

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#38

Okay.....so, you know those school assemblies that they have where motivational speakers come to "inspire future generations"? Well they brought to my high-school a group of bodybuilders that did a lot of impressive feats of strength. I couldn't stop staring at them and couldn't figure out why. I had never been attracted to anyone else before, but seeing those guys on stage being huge and strong kinda made me realize that...that was what I liked. It was embarrassing...but that's my story. It also started me on my fitness journey. So...I guess that assembly did inspire me after all.

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#39

This is going to sound odd, but I probably had my first girlfriend before I realized I was bi.

See, in Middle School I met this girl, we shared a lot of things, including our first name (although we spelled it differently, both readers, she got me into Anime and Sailor Moon in particular, I spent all my time with her, and we even went out together, obstensibly, dates, just the two of us, eating together, or going to the mall, the femme to my tomboy butch, although I'm more femme now. It took me so long after things didn't work out to realize that I was attracted to girls, and... She and I were almost dating. If I had been more open with myself, would we be really dating? Would our favorite characters have gone from Venus and Mars to Uranus and Neptune? I moved away shortly after, so there's no telling, but sometimes I wish I could talk to her again.

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#40

Why would God and Jesus hate people for loving others just as He intended to have them love each other?

Also, lots of fictional characters contributed to this Christian bisexual's awakening.

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Never Again
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Izzi C
Izzi C
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! I had to have this conversation with a homophobic guy in my history class. He even said the stuff in front of a friend who is openly gay

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#41

was sitting in math contemplating life and thought "ive never actually been romantically or sexually attracted to another person"
as i hear more about bad dating experiences i kinda feel like in being aroace i dodged a bullet

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emotional support velociraptor
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#42

What does ace mean? Aroace? Does that mean asexual? And genderfaun/ genderfae? Sorry if I sound ignorant, English is not my first language. I genuinely don't know what these terms mean and Googling didn't help me out either...... or am I just getting old? LOLL. But anyway it was an interesting read and am always happy for ppl when they find their true selves. Took me years to find and accept my own kinks.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ace = asexual, meaning you don’t feel sexual attraction, aro = aromantic, meaning you don’t feel romantic attraction. Hope it helps!

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#43

I know I'm late but looking back on it I knew in first grade. I had made a "crush list" and it was boys and girls. Yep. I'm bi!

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lili
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#44

I’m a woman. Ive had crushes on only guys for that time in my life and have always thought of myself as straight.
One day came when I met this girl, she was unlike my friends and seemed to really understand me more than anyone. I didn’t connect my feelings that I really felt for her until she told me that she was in love with me.
We dated for 6 months, but it’s over now. Our relationship wasn’t working. I’m glad though that she at least helped me find out who I am, gender wise too.

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JustAnotherCommenter(she/they)
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#45

My gay awakening happened pretty recently. When i was younger, i obsessed over a girl in my ballet class. i had known her for years, but in this time, i had spoken maybe 3 sentences to her in total. Only recently did i realize that i had a crush on her, and that is was not just platonic admiration. sadly, she moved to a country on the other side of the world, so i have no chance to correct my awkwardness.

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EmbersAreOut
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#46

I always knew I was aroace despite not having the vocabulary for it-- my parents will tell this story about how a very young me would loudly insist that "IF i EVER get married, I'm not kissing the groom. Im fist bumping him. Because kissing is gross." I finally found the vocabulary through two separate online role plays because I had to Google them to figure out what they meant and not seem weird. Promptly tried not to slam my head into a desk from embarrassment.

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Reynie
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#47

So I liked both genders since 5th grade. But I think I'm lesbian at this point.... What made me realize it? My friend showed me a video they were snaped. Of a guy... With a yogurt cup... Um...

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Grooks
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#48

Well, I had never had a close bond with any male human being (except for my dad and brother), and In middle school, I had a close group of female friends. I then started to realize that I had never felt a romantic attraction to a boy, only to girls at some moments. And yeah, after a while, I realized that I'm a demiromantic lesbian! :)

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Peridot the bird cat (LEFT)
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#49

Realised I was lesbian when I started finding girls “hot”. Realised I was aroace when I found out that I’m not comfortable envisioning myself in any relationship with anyone of any gender(whether romantic or sexual). I at times feel like wanting to be in one of those kinds of relationship but I don’t really have any gender I’d like to date.

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Stardust she/her
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#50

When I first met my boyfriend, I felt a spark between us, but I ignored it at first, but then I couldn’t keep it hidden anymore, so I told him that I loved him and he said he also loves me, and that was when I realized that I was gay, but I have had crushes on girls, so I’m bisexual, but I like boys more than girls. I’m a gay bisexual transgender boy.

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Charlie Spring Fan (He/Him)
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#51

My awakening was when my friend came out as a lesbian. I then realized I never really liked a boy and ended up having a crush on a girl for a looooooong time.

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thatbisexualtacocat
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#52

Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever" music video. I was about five or six? My dad would sit me down and we would rewatch that blessed music video over and over throughout a few months. Every single time he would mention how, "Shakira here is representing Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. Isn't that cool?"
And he thought I wouldn't turn out gay like let's be real here

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Roni Kova
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#53

When I was in 3rd grade I developed a crush on a girl ... I never said anything to anyone about it. She later moved away and, naturally, I developed a crush on another girl ... and still said nothing. By 8th grade I knew something wasn't "normal" about me. I didn't formally come out until I was out of university.

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Gabby Ghoul
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#54

There was probably a few times, but the best 2 I can think of are these.

1) When I was probably 10 or 11 I started noticing how the older girls were really pretty and how I wanted to be "really good friends" with them. I'm now omnisexual haha

2) When I first got my period I was extremely depressed and this would happen every single time without fail. I felt so disgusting and would cry myself to sleep a lot. Then I started noticing little things about boys that made me say, I want that, or, I want to be like him. I'm now out and proud as a trans demiboy!

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Kai_The_Mess
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#55

I always knew I was aroace despite not having the vocabulary for it-- my parents will tell this story about how a very young me would loudly insist that "IF i EVER get married, I'm not kissing the groom. Im fist bumping him. Because kissing is gross." I finally found the vocabulary through two separate online role plays because I had to Google them to figure out what they meant and not seem weird. Promptly tried not to slam my head into a desk from embarrassment.

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Reynie
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#56

It was gradual for me. I was three crying inconsolably because I didn't have a penis. I was ten not understanding why other girls made fun of my "boy" clothes. I was eleven watching my first R rated movie (Pretty Woman) next to the hot babysitter from my church (14), wondering if she noticed how nice it felt that our thighs and shoulders were touching. I was 14 and the girl I couldn't stop staring at admitted she kissed her female friend, and I was jealous. I was sixteen losing my lesbian V card to a pretty Jamaican girl with the aid of Pink Floyd and some special brownies, feeling like, why did I ever waste time on boys? I was 18 and changed my name, then felt like myself for the first time when someone used it to get my attention. I was 19 and shaved my head and felt like my hair must have weighed a ton considering how relieved I felt, like I'd set down a heavy backpack I'd been carrying my whole life. I was 20 and 100% cool with the fact my gf wasn't ready for sex...for six months I just never really thought about it, and was perfectly happy. I was 24 and holding my baby, getting perceived as his father and being fine with that. I was 27 and my foster kid explained non-binary to me and I was both uncomfortable and intrigued. I was 29 and refered to the future as "when I'm a grumpy old man" without realizing it until a friend said, "you mean woman?" And after a moment I realized no, I didn't mean woman. I was 31 and my friends explained to me that there actually was a difference between platonic and romantic love for them. I was 32 and my gf brought me testosterone she'd bought over the counter in Mexico (where we were living). I was 35 and strangers began to refer to me regularly as buddy, sir, boss, he/him. I'm 36, single, not sexually involved, and happy with how I fit into the world.
Genderqueer, trans masculine, nonbinary, lesbian, ace, gray aro and still learning new ways to define myself.

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Ray Arani
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#57

I saw an aroace person online talking about how they had thought they had crushes on people only to realize that she wanted to be their friend. I was like “ hey that sounds like me”

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Raccoon
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#58

OK so I'm asexual and don't consider myself to be gay (I'm heteroromantic) buut being ace is still being LGBTQ and I did still have an 'awakening' so it counts.
When I was about 19 I was on an online discord call with my best friend and we decided to do a tier list (something that was long out of fashion but we were bored and online) and my friend suggested a 'sexy characters' list. So we did that list separately talking about them together but ranking them individually on our own screens and then shared each other a picture at the end. I had put no one in the very top tier. His brother was in the room when we showed each other our lists and heard him say 'wait, they didn't have *anyone* at the top??'. That's when I had a sudden hit of 'wait, do I not find people sexy? Like, actually sexy?'
That started another 6ish months of thinking about how I feel and realising no, I don't. I only like the way people look sometimes.
(That friend also turned out to be ace as well not long after I realised which always makes me smile as well)

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Jennifer .S
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#59

Soo I first like a girl when I was 10. That's when I thought I was bi. Then I fell in love with my best friend ( a bi girl) for a while but like some enby people I knew as well . So I thought I was pan. Now ik that I'm Abrosexual . ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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#60

I realized I was ploy bc I had read threesome fanfics and liked them. from Wattpad.

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vamp <3
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#61

I was working on a new policy document at work, mid 20s, and with an intern called Julia she was around 22, long black hair, deep natural red lips and the most perfect thighs, as her legs crossed over and her short skirt let my eyes wander up to the start of her panties. It was getting very late and we were frustrated at the day. I’d only ever been into men, really. I noticed women of course but never acted. Julia and I were getting warm in the room, it was summer and the air wasn’t cooling. My T-shirt was sticking to me and I think you could see my nipples very prominently through it. I walked over to Julia to grab some documents and I brushed against her soft silky hair. I lingered. I sighed. The heat overwhelmed me and I dropped my guard. She put her hand onto mine, and guided it downwards, underneath her skirt. Everything was hot to the touch, and I just gave in. She lifted her skirt up and I pulled her panties off as fast as I could and passionately licked her out. We were absolutely sweating and then she stood up, grabbed me and got me on the desk, and put her 2 fingers up me. We kissed and played and made each other orgasm intensely. It was wonderful. I still love men but I’m also addicted to women too.

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Gertrude Lee
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#62

vidia from the tinkerbell movies (iykyk)

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charlie b
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#63

Not gay, but I realized I was ace roughly a year ago. My friends (whom are mostly in the lgbtq+ community) asked me if I preferred d*ck or boobs(it was probably something else, but I can’t really remember what they said exactly) and I realized I had virtually no interest in either

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tragicaltales
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#64

I go to a boarding school, I was original crushing on this guy but found that over time I didn't like him as much anymore. I then started to have feelings with one of the girls in my corridor, and I romanticized certain moments and started to act awkward around her, and her to me. I was just like "oh my, I'm in love with my best friend." We are both female.

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Atchaco-Leigh
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#65

In second grade I thought this person was cute and I thought they were a boy because they had short hair and I had never seen a girl with short hair. I later realized that they were were a girl but I still thought she was cute. I decided to tell my friend and she said that it was a sin to be gay so I decided I wasn't gay since it was "a sin to be gay". In 4th grade I realized that I did in fact like girls and then I told my friend and she was cool with it.

Fast forward to now I identify as queer but I haven't liked a boy in years. But I think I might like a boy but I'm just telling myself I don't because "crushes will only get in the way of school" and also cause my mental health is too low to try to deal with the possibility of having a crush

If anyone has any tips, feel free to share.

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Delaney Campbell
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raincloud the whalien
raincloud the whalien
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey! When I was figuring myself out in middle/high school I had really bad mental health (undiagnosed bipolar and depression may have contributed), and I was in a scary relationship for a while, so I wasn't really feeling the "crush" thing. I just focused on loving myself and my friends, and it's kind of started to work out. If you take care of yourself first, I think crushes and romantic/sexual attraction starts feeling closer. Being attracted to people sometimes helps you grow stronger, I think. Not letting yourself like someone can hurt you too. If you're worried about your mental health being bad, I know this sounds cheesy, but I like going through good things without judging them. For example, remembering a little kid on the subway without saying "enjoy your childhood, it'll get bad soon", or a walk in nature without thinking about the pollution. Things aren't perfect, but sometimes things are pretty good. It's nice to just try to be calm sometimes. Hope this helps <3, take care!

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#66

in fifth grade i had no education on lgbtq+ and knew absolutely nothing about its existence. i had this friend who came out to me as bisexual and i didn’t know what it meant so i looked it up. once i learned about that i was excited because i wasn’t ever introduced to the whole “girls can like girls concept” but i still thought i was straight. about a month later i realized i was being much more clingy to the friend since she had came out and it kinda hit me that i had a crush on her. i didn’t tell anyone but i identified myself as bisexual and over time started coming out to my family and friends and researching more into sexuality. almost 3 years later and i now identify as omnisexual and have openly had crushes on boys, girls, non-binary’s, and transgenders

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Delia Nipper
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Delia Nipper (Submission author)
Delia Nipper
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also the friend and i aren’t in touch anymore bc she turned out to be rlly controlling and toxic but i still messaged her when i was coming out to everyone and my exact words were “remember when u said i was the straightest person u knew? well i’m not even straight” tbh that made me feel like a queen💀💀

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#67

in fifth grade i had no education on lgbtq+ and knew absolutely nothing about its existence. i had this friend who came out to me as bisexual and i didn’t know what it meant so i looked it up. once i learned about that i was excited because i wasn’t ever introduced to the whole “girls can like girls concept” but i still thought i was straight. about a month later i realized i was being much more clingy to the friend since she had came out and it kinda hit me that i had a crush on her. i didn’t tell anyone but i identified myself as bisexual and over time started coming out to my family and friends and researching more into sexuality. almost 3 years later and i now identify as omnisexual and have openly had crushes on boys, girls, non-binary’s, and transgenders

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Delia Nipper
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#68

In school I would feel weird about certain girls but couldn't figure out exactly why. I figured it was because I felt they were prettier than me, so it made me feel awkward. When I stopped believing in God in my early twenties it caused revelations about many things, one of them being that I'm bi. I was like, whoa. It's because I had a crush on them, not because they were better than me. It literally never occured to me. It's like a light switch was turned on and I could see for the first time.

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Chella Rain
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#69

In middle school, we were passing around a beat-up copy of Penthouse and one of the guys groused about how one of the pictorials had "too many spread shots of the guy's d**k". I realized I didn't mind that much.

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Theoretical Empiricist
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#70

So my aha moment was a picture on a classical music album cover, I (I’m a girl) got sudden butterflies and went oh s**t am I gay?!?!? And then I forgot about it for a year and then started questioning a bit because girls are really really pretty and then came out as bi. And then I ended up with a boyfriend, and it didn’t work out and as it went on and he wanted more physical intimacy I was just really yucked out, which confused me because I knew I wasn’t ace because girls. I decided finally to use the label lesbian, then had a girlfriend for a few months and found myself wanting with her what I found yucky with him. I still have little crushes on guys though but I no longer felt like bisexual was right for me, and then one day I just went hey I’m a biromantic lesbian there we go! Finally something that works yay! Thank goodness for microlabels lol

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Katie the Koala
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A Wild Bean
A Wild Bean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Microlabels definitely help with more... complicated identities (as someone who's biromantic, demiromantic, and asexual)

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