Hey Pandas, What Was Your Funniest Scammer Retort Or Response? (Closed)

I think BP had a similar post a while ago but I think that was just for phone calls. Thanks for checking!

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Welcome to the roadkill roadhouse, you kill it we grill it how may I help you!

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Final score:

4points

Charlie Anderson

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Roadkill The Brave 3 years ago

I approve of this message.

2points

Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago

Or you could say “City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em”

1point

Charlie Anderson (Submission author) 3 years ago

Good good

1point

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“Hi WeLcOmE tO ChILi’S!”

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Final score:

2points

LibraryGhost

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Hi welcome to McDonald's would you like a bucket load of garbage?

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Final score:

2points

Just A Passing Parrot (she/her

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Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!

1point

I'm sorry, we're unable to recognize that response. If you'd like to try again please press pound to hear the menu options once again.

I'm a creepily good mimic of the Auto messages and I'll say that until they hang up. Longest I went was 9 repeats and then I had to hang up on them because I had a work call coming in.

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Final score:

1point

Roadkill The Brave

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HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago

That is amazing.

2points

I once made a scammer cry. But I usually answer “how may I not help you”. If you ask if they like kittens it throws off their script. (Once while they were using spoof numbers, I answered the call on the line it was supposed to be coming from. My house line!)

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Final score:

1point

Lucky2BAlive

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Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago

I want to hear about the crying scammer!

1point

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I got a text asking for p***y eaters nearby, and I responded: "Sorry, I'm dieting."

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Final score:

1point

Rage of Aquarius

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hehehe >:)

get ready....

"Hello, this is Pink Dildo Shop. Unfortunately, due to coronavirus, we are no longer selling our wares in-store. If you want to purchase a freaky little surprise, go to www.bigcash.cc. Thank you!"

Bigcash.cc is a virus site. Scammed the scammers.

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Final score:

1point

Pumpkin Spice

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Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago

Brilliant!

1point

"I'm not a scammer."

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Final score:

0points

‍

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Uh-uh, uh-uh. Yeah, the problem is that it wasn't an accident. I literally pointed my truck at him. (in my weirdest voice)

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Final score:

0points

Skater Chick (they/them)

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Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago

Shhhh I don’t want my husband to hear. Or you could try this, I’ve done it, say oh my God your voice is so sexy, keep talking, I am so close. (I was having work done and they helped me pull it off by turning on and off a JACK HAMMER, which I told the scammer was just my vibrator)

1point

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#10

The scammer said "please don't hang up-" and i said "no i'm definitely hanging up" and they said "nononono dont hang up" and i said "okay hanging up" and they said "NO" and then i hung up

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Final score:

0points

-logansucrose- (he/him)

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Inked Kaos 1 year ago

The conversation was initiated by the potential scammer. My response had them block me! Conversation below: Scammer: Hey Hey What are you doing w What are you doing honey My response: I told you, to never contact me after the incident! I took care of those bodies like you asked me to. I then returned the tools you loaned me for that job, to your shed behind your house. That was supposed to be the end of our business contract. Do not contact me again! I do not need the pol;ice showing up asking questions! I will direct everything to you, as I have an air tight alibi. Goodbye! NO RESPONSE WHAT-SO-EVER!

0points