Hey Pandas, What Was The Funniest Family Argument You Had?

An argument with a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, great-grandma, grandpa, etc.

Not blood related, but family nevertheless: Quite recently, my friends and I got into a huge fight over whether Back to the Future is a genuinely good movie or not. That's it. Not if anyone liked it or not, but over the simple and subjective aspect of "good".
It was brutal. Writing theory, trope talks, script structure and acting abilities were discussed. Books and critics were referenced and smeared. Other series and movies were used. Intelligence, empathy and basic decency were put into question. Actors' personal lives were thrown into the argument and torn to pieces. Voices raised. Shouting ensued. Tears were shed.
And we are functional adults...

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Final score:

10points

Luis Hernandez Dauajare

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me and my dad were shopping for a family dinner and we started arguing about if mints counted as candies or not and we continued arguing for an hour before we decided to google it

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Final score:

5points

best turtle

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My dad and my mom were fighting like school kids because my Dad alleged that my mom had started the washing machine with only one underwear in it

and my mom was insisting there were atleast 3 underwears in the machine at that time

It was embarrassing as well as hilarious to break up that fight

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Final score:

4points

Ankush Nayyar

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Once my stepmom told be to take a walk around our neighborhood with my brother. So I did. At one point, we had an argument. I don't really remember what it was about, but I do remember it sort of switched subjects and we started arguing about each other's grammar. It wasn't funny at the time but now it is.

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Final score:

3points

* ~ l a s a n y a ~ *

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My family and I were talking and my out of no where my grandparents started fighting about when my mom stopped wearing diapers. Them my mom’s sister my aunt joined the argument. My mom was beet red and I couldn’t stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂

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Final score:

3points

KittyKat

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I've watched my parents get on my sister for eating the last York peppermint patty before turning on each other. They'll do the same thing over Junior Mints

My mom and dad both argue over who it was that broke her nose (probably her but it's a fun one) and how many months apart they are in age.

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Final score:

2points

actaeon cross

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Probably the time when the girls in the family were telling the boys to stop missing and hitting the lid. It eventually went to an argument about how girls can stop peeing half way through and boys can't

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Final score:

2points

Chickens are fluffy

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The trifle war of 2016.

For Christmas, every year, since before the pyramids were built, my Mam has made a massive trifle! We're talking extra large punch bowl size! Almost a metre wide. To use USA measurements, the width was around 2 and a half groundhogs long.
Now, due to my (rather complex) issues, I won't eat anything shared. I won't do buffets, I won't let you take stuff from my plate, and I'm certainly not willing to dive into a bowl that my repugnant family have been eating from like cattle at the trough!
My angel of a Mammy, knew this about me and each year she make a smaller (One groundhog length) trifle, just for me. This is not normally a problem for anyone as everyone get trifle. However...

Christmas 2014, for some reason, my Mam made my trifle a little more elaborate. Sure there were jealous glances, I mean why wouldn't there be? As well as hundreds and thousands, my trifle had giant chocolate buttons and whipped cream styled in fancy peaks. My siblings were happy to just mark this down as another win for Mammy's favourite, however auntie Kathleen was not as easily quietened. 'Now hang-on just one moment! Why's da Boy getting one all fancy like?' her call above the noise of the party. Mam explained that she wanted to experiment with her topping artistry, but didn't dare risk it on the bigger one until she was confident, but next year, they'll be the same.
Next year it wasn't the same! But mine was even more elaborate, with more layers and flavours than Jason's amazing coat had colours! Aunt Kathleen wasn't pleased, and this time she was bringing her siblings to back her up. Mammy explained that there simply wasn't enough time, what with cooking a banquet for 40 dinner guests! Mammy promised that next year, everyone else would have a better trifle!
Christmas eve, 2016. Mammy calls me. "I tink dis is the best trifle I've ever done made in my life", her County Carlow accent thicker than usual (perhaps she had sampled some of the sherry she was using?).
Christmas day. The family arrive and it is clear that there is tension. Hushed dessert related conversations in corners of the house abound. Gramps leans into me and whispers, "If tings get messy, we got your back".
It was clear where the battle lines were. Kathleen had recruited my siblings using words of rebellious treachery. But I had Nan, Gramps and those that still respect the rule of the family matriarch!
The first hostilities were so swift we were unprepared. My sister had finished her dinner and excused herself to pee. When she returned she had in her hands, MY trifle! From her pocket she produced a fistful of spoons and started distributing them among her comrades.
Uncle Mick was the first casualty, he leapt at the enemy, but Kathleen was too quick for him. Time slowed down as we looked upon him, slumped in a chair with pieces of jelly and sponge trickling down his face.
The battle was brutal! Custard, cream, jelly... everywhere! Few escaped the glorious textures mammy had created!
Mammy called a cease fire! She conceded the remnants of my trifle to enemy. She left the room and returned with the family bowl! Mammy was right, it WAS the best trifle she had ever made!
There was silence as the family looked upon the splendour of it! They were so taken with it's beauty that they didn't even notice that Mam placed it in front of me, and handed me a spoon. She said "Since you have destroyed my boy's puddin', he can have yours!". The words didn't seem to register, they were so hypnotised by the dessert that appeared to be crafted for the gods themselves!
But my allies had heard! They formed a defensive perimeter while I sank my spoon into the topping, feeling it glide through the cloud-like cream into the upper layers. The taste was divine! Victory was mine!
It took me 3 days to finish that trifle, but the cost of the war was too steep to be paid again.
A summit was held the following November, all greed that from then on we would all have individual trifles!