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Hey Pandas, What Was The Funniest Family Argument You Had?
An argument with a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, great-grandma, grandpa, etc.
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#1
Not blood related, but family nevertheless: Quite recently, my friends and I got into a huge fight over whether Back to the Future is a genuinely good movie or not. That's it. Not if anyone liked it or not, but over the simple and subjective aspect of "good".
It was brutal. Writing theory, trope talks, script structure and acting abilities were discussed. Books and critics were referenced and smeared. Other series and movies were used. Intelligence, empathy and basic decency were put into question. Actors' personal lives were thrown into the argument and torn to pieces. Voices raised. Shouting ensued. Tears were shed.
And we are functional adults...
Final score:
10points
#2
me and my dad were shopping for a family dinner and we started arguing about if mints counted as candies or not and we continued arguing for an hour before we decided to google it
Final score:
5points
#3
My dad and my mom were fighting like school kids because my Dad alleged that my mom had started the washing machine with only one underwear in it
and my mom was insisting there were atleast 3 underwears in the machine at that time
It was embarrassing as well as hilarious to break up that fight
Final score:
4points
#4
Once my stepmom told be to take a walk around our neighborhood with my brother. So I did. At one point, we had an argument. I don't really remember what it was about, but I do remember it sort of switched subjects and we started arguing about each other's grammar. It wasn't funny at the time but now it is.
Final score:
3points
#5
My family and I were talking and my out of no where my grandparents started fighting about when my mom stopped wearing diapers. Them my mom’s sister my aunt joined the argument. My mom was beet red and I couldn’t stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Final score:
3points
#6
I've watched my parents get on my sister for eating the last York peppermint patty before turning on each other. They'll do the same thing over Junior Mints
My mom and dad both argue over who it was that broke her nose (probably her but it's a fun one) and how many months apart they are in age.
Final score:
2points
#7
Probably the time when the girls in the family were telling the boys to stop missing and hitting the lid. It eventually went to an argument about how girls can stop peeing half way through and boys can't
Final score:
2points
#8
The trifle war of 2016.
For Christmas, every year, since before the pyramids were built, my Mam has made a massive trifle! We're talking extra large punch bowl size! Almost a metre wide. To use USA measurements, the width was around 2 and a half groundhogs long.
Now, due to my (rather complex) issues, I won't eat anything shared. I won't do buffets, I won't let you take stuff from my plate, and I'm certainly not willing to dive into a bowl that my repugnant family have been eating from like cattle at the trough!
My angel of a Mammy, knew this about me and each year she make a smaller (One groundhog length) trifle, just for me. This is not normally a problem for anyone as everyone get trifle. However...
Christmas 2014, for some reason, my Mam made my trifle a little more elaborate. Sure there were jealous glances, I mean why wouldn't there be? As well as hundreds and thousands, my trifle had giant chocolate buttons and whipped cream styled in fancy peaks. My siblings were happy to just mark this down as another win for Mammy's favourite, however auntie Kathleen was not as easily quietened. 'Now hang-on just one moment! Why's da Boy getting one all fancy like?' her call above the noise of the party. Mam explained that she wanted to experiment with her topping artistry, but didn't dare risk it on the bigger one until she was confident, but next year, they'll be the same.
Next year it wasn't the same! But mine was even more elaborate, with more layers and flavours than Jason's amazing coat had colours! Aunt Kathleen wasn't pleased, and this time she was bringing her siblings to back her up. Mammy explained that there simply wasn't enough time, what with cooking a banquet for 40 dinner guests! Mammy promised that next year, everyone else would have a better trifle!
Christmas eve, 2016. Mammy calls me. "I tink dis is the best trifle I've ever done made in my life", her County Carlow accent thicker than usual (perhaps she had sampled some of the sherry she was using?).
Christmas day. The family arrive and it is clear that there is tension. Hushed dessert related conversations in corners of the house abound. Gramps leans into me and whispers, "If tings get messy, we got your back".
It was clear where the battle lines were. Kathleen had recruited my siblings using words of rebellious treachery. But I had Nan, Gramps and those that still respect the rule of the family matriarch!
The first hostilities were so swift we were unprepared. My sister had finished her dinner and excused herself to pee. When she returned she had in her hands, MY trifle! From her pocket she produced a fistful of spoons and started distributing them among her comrades.
Uncle Mick was the first casualty, he leapt at the enemy, but Kathleen was too quick for him. Time slowed down as we looked upon him, slumped in a chair with pieces of jelly and sponge trickling down his face.
The battle was brutal! Custard, cream, jelly... everywhere! Few escaped the glorious textures mammy had created!
Mammy called a cease fire! She conceded the remnants of my trifle to enemy. She left the room and returned with the family bowl! Mammy was right, it WAS the best trifle she had ever made!
There was silence as the family looked upon the splendour of it! They were so taken with it's beauty that they didn't even notice that Mam placed it in front of me, and handed me a spoon. She said "Since you have destroyed my boy's puddin', he can have yours!". The words didn't seem to register, they were so hypnotised by the dessert that appeared to be crafted for the gods themselves!
But my allies had heard! They formed a defensive perimeter while I sank my spoon into the topping, feeling it glide through the cloud-like cream into the upper layers. The taste was divine! Victory was mine!
It took me 3 days to finish that trifle, but the cost of the war was too steep to be paid again.
A summit was held the following November, all greed that from then on we would all have individual trifles!
Final score:
2points
#9
My mom and I got into a debate over whether Matt Damon or Bed Aflack was more attractive. My dad had to settle it. The winner was Matt Damon.
Final score:
1point
#10
My roommate and I were shopping for Halloween decor and we walked by a duck. I don't know EXACTLY what happened but we got into this whole thing about what qualifies as a duck. I brought up the point of "duck-shaped duck because that is the assigned shape" and my roommate says "that's quite duckphobic of you"
Final score:
1point
#11
I wasn't involved in the argue, but I watched it unfold in front of me and it still makes me laugh to this day. I was in the living room with my dad and brother, and I was reading the newspaper. Out of nowhere, my dad said to my brother, who was 15 at the time, "So, JON! Where do you get your cigarette money from?" Jon was stunned because he thought none of us knew he smoked. He starts fumbling for words, hemming and hawing. My dad said, "Do you shake cigarette machines? Do you check pay phones for money? You gotta get it somewhere since you won't work!" Jon gets more flustered and stomps off. My dad then looks over at me and sees the newspaper in front of my face shaking. He yells, "And what's YOUR problem?!" I put the paper down and was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Then my dad laughed too. That was EXACTLY where Jon got his cigarette money from!
Final score:
1point
#12
Had a whole history fight at the dinner table because my sister thought Christopher Columbus was a relater. Like he would discover America just to sell it. IT WAS HILARIOUS! I wish you could have seen the whole thing!
Final score:
0points
#13
My dad and brother once got in an argument over whether or not siting on a mouse and sliding the now dead copse across the floor counted as riding it
Final score:
0points
#14
My nephew, 13yrs old at the time, was playing a game on his laptop. He got his character stuck in an odd corner and was stuck in a glitch. He was trying to move forward and was repeatedly slamming on the up key and screaming that it wasn't working. I(M41, 33@the time) suggested he try moving to the left or right, since forward wasn't working. He ignored me and spent the next few minutes swearing and smashing the up key still. After about 15 more minutes if that I again suggest that he try moving left or right. This time he stands up and knocks the chair over with his butt, picks up his laptop, takes an exaggerated step to his left and slams the laptop onto the counter. He then proceeded to jab the up key a few more times before he looks at me like I just shot him in the foot and yells "SEE!! HOW WAS MOVING LEFT OR RIGHT SUPPOSED TO HELP?!?!"...He was dead serious....I reached past him and hit the left key on his laptop and TADA! FIXED! As mad as I wanted to be at him for the attitude, all I could do is just hug him and hope for the best. He may spend the rest of his life living in his mother's basement, but still love him.
Final score:
0points
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