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#1

I was a gullible toddler. Here are two thing I used to believe until the age of 8 or 9.


1. Crossing your eyes for too long would make them stay that way.

2. Swallowing a watermelon seed would cause a watermelon to grow in your stomach.

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#2

Seafood. Im german and we call it Meeresfrüchte (Sea Fruit). Because of that I believed there we're actual bananas, oranges, apples etc but under the sea.
We never had seafood at home because my mom hates that stuff so I believed that for an embarassing long while.
And yes Im enjoying it as an adult.

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#3

I believed that when something died, it had its own heaven, like if a horse died, it would go to horse heaven, and if a monkey died it would go to monkey heaven. But I believed that if you had a pet, you could go visit them in whatever heaven they were in, let's say you had a pet fish, I believed you would be in human heaven and the fish would be in fish heaven but you could go and visit the fish in fish heaven

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#4

1. All jungles had quicksand
2. There were actual lines making up the Bermuda Triangle and if you crossed them, you were "disappeared" to somewhere else.

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#5

I thought money laundering was literally cleaning money, so I was terrified to rinse off dirty coins for fear I'd go to jail. Also thought until embarrassingly recently that a tap room was a dance studio that also served alcohol. Felt like an idiot when I realized the tap refers to a beer tap, not the dance.

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#6

I swore Post offices had top secret underground tunnels that would connect with other post offices throughout the world and considered mailmen to be top secret federal agents.

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#7

That before colour TV the whole world was black and white. I wondered what happened in the 70's to make everything so much brighter.

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#8

I thought that plants and animals spoke Spanish. My best friend was a boy named Jorge, and his mom used to babysit me. They had this giant garden with chickens and geese and she would talk to the plants etc in Spanish then speak English to me. I didn’t really know it was just a different language, I thought it was a special one for talking to the earth. I was really surprised when I said, “leche” and my teacher at school understood me.

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#9

I use to also believe that we (my family) owned the only tv remote (I guess in the world). So as my dad was packing for a work trip i sneaked our remote in his suitcase so he could watch tv, as the rest of my family had each other for entertainment. My brother was not verry happy with me

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#10

If I stuck out my lower lip, a bee would land in it and sting it

Music from the radio was a live band performing in the studio

The toilet would suck me down it when I flushed it. (Thanks sis)

Quicksand would be a bigger problem than it is

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#11

While on a road trip, we drove past a wind farm (the great big turbines), and my father told me that those were fans that held California on to the rest of the United States. If the fans shut off, California would float away. I not only believed him, but went to school and told all my friends about California not being attached to the rest of the country.

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#12

my mom said she could tell if i was lying by looking in my eyes
so when telling a lie i just closed my eyes

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#13

When I was four or five, I believed that you had three options when you graduated high school: 1)Become a teacher. 2)Become a parent. 3) Die. I was terrified of starting kindergarten because I didn't want to be a parent or a teacher, and I certainly didn't want to die.

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#14

Swallow gum = gum tree

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#15

When I was really young, I was once lying on the grass trying to see he shapes in the clouds.
After a while, the wind speed at cloud level must have picked up a bit as they were moving faster. Staring straight up, I started feeling a false sense of motion, like I could feel the earth spinning.
That is the moment that my mind decided that the clouds do not move, they are perfectly still and the earth turns beneath them.
I believed that for about 10 years.

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#16

My father worked at Town Hall where also weddings took place. As a kid I thought that when you wanted to get married you went to Town Hall. Men who wanted to get married also went there and you picked a man and got married.
I have no idea where this "wisdom" came from.

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#17

When I was 4 I thought you could just go to the bank and get money. Did not realize that you had to first earn the money.

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#18

that every person the earth was born speaking english and if they lived in Italy, for example, the parents would have to teach the baby italian and they would forget about english

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#19

When I was very little, I thought that when I ate something, it went to the bottom of my body, that is, to my feet. The food was going up and when it reached my head, it made me grow a little more.

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#20

When we went to the grocery shop my mother would hand over some papery things and the shopkeeper would give her the groceries *and* some free money (change). (Because I just got coins for pocket money I didn't understand that the papery things were also money.) (And, yes, I was a child in the dinosaur days.)

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#21

As a 4 year-old, I thought I stumbled on the greatest secret’s answer … that Santa was old Jesus. Christian, giving, loves children and animals. It put a lot of things together for this preschooler.

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#22

That professional wrestling was real.

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#23

1. Eating too much carrots would turn you orange.
2. Cough medicine was coffee.
3. If you don’t do homework, you don’t get summer vacation (for some reason).
4. “If you tell the truth, you will not be punished.” Why did I believe that!?

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#24

I was 12 years old and having a difficult time with what I was learning in school about how old the earth is and what I was learning in Sunday School.
So I concluded that when god created the world that she must’ve put all those dinosaur bones in there so I could justify that dinosaurs couldn’t have walked the earth.

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#25

I firmly believed, and proudly announced to all that would listen, that I was special because I had "2 sets of grandparents, not just 1!" Oh, what I didn't know about family trees, the birds and the bees! (Facepalm)

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#26

You had to eat the fortune from the fortune cookie for it come true. My cousin told me this when we were kids with my grandma backing him up. He ended up starting a successful food company… so maybe there was a sliver of truth to it.

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#27

I USED TO BELIEVE I WAS A GIRL LOL IMAGINE

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#28

That all chicken eggs had baby chickens in them, and if you kept the ones from the store warm for long enough, it would hatch.

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#29

wind turbines make the world turn round

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#30

When I was little and went grocery shopping with my mother, she would often say things like "I cannot buy you ____ because the money is for _____". So I believed that there was a specific type of money for each item, and the vendor would not accept it otherwise.

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#31

one day i would become like cinderella bc i was told to clean

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#32

That nuns didn’t get their period. Still makes sense to me.

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#33

That "To Be Announced" was the name of an actual TV show.

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#34

when I was little I believed that every time you'd tell a lie your nose will grow... now I know that my mother just told me that so she could tell I was telling a lie.

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#35

Besides Santa Clause? There was the Easter Bunny & Tooth Fairy. But I believed Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was on my rooftop ( with Santa ) every Christmas until I was 7. Learned it was my dad making the clatter up there, he included jingle bells, too. lol

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#36

i thought that if i died and the last thing i did was bad, i'd go to hell. if the last thing was good, to the pearly gates.

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#37

I believed pregnancy would result from a boy's belly button touching a girl's belly button.

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#38

I believed the yellow center of a kiwi was banana.

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#39

I remember asking my mother how the actors on the television were able to breathe when they kissed. I thought they would suffocate if they kept at it too long. I believed monsters were under my bed for years and would jump off my bed out of the fear they would grab my ankles and pull me under. I thought rain was the tears of angels. I am sure there are more, but these I remember distinctly.

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#40

I believed the sport of badminton was named after the guy's naughty dog. A PE teacher told my class this (I think as a joke) and my autistic a*s believed it was the truth for a good 5+ years. The real root of badminton is much much more boring

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#41

There was always something under my bed or someone watching me.

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#42

That nuns didn’t get their period. Also, that Jaws lived in my bedroom blue carpet.

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#43

I used to think that they dug a hole in the ground for outhouses. I was always impressed with how fast they could dig a hole and fill it back in.

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#44

When I was a child I grew up thinking my parents wanted to kill me because they were always abusing me and telling me that I didn't deserve to exist!

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#45

I thought that plants and animals spoke Spanish. My best friend was a boy named Jorge, and his mom used to babysit me. They had this giant garden with chickens and geese and she would talk to the plants etc in Spanish then speak English to me. I didn’t really know it was just a different language, I thought it was a special one for talking to the earth. I was really surprised when I said, “leche” and my teacher at school understood me.

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#46

that i was a girl lol

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#47

My father told me that dogs and cats couldn’t eat pork because they kept kosher. I’m unsure why he told me this. I concluded then that all cats and dogs were Jewish. Even though I’m almost 50, some part of me still has that idea and I always buy eight nights of Hanukkah gifts for my cats. They don’t object.

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#48

Oops I added an E at the end of Claus. Sorry folks.

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#49

I believed that cats were females from dogs xD All cats what we had were females and all dogs what we had were males.

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#50

I used to believe that I would be cool and have lots of friends as a teen. Never have I been so wrong in my life.

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#51

I believed that my esophagus was separated into three tubes:

tube #1: food tube
tube #2: liquid tube
tube #3: seed tube (for fruit seeds lol)

I believed this until I was about 7 or 8...

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#52

That adults had it all figured out , and that when I became and adult, I'd have it all figured out too. Like there was a secret "adult school" you went to when you became an adult that told you everything you needed to know about how to adult.

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#53

When I was a kid in Sunday school, I thought Calvary involved riding horses military-style. Of course this was reinforced by being taught to sing "Onward Christian Soldiers." My grandma was super confused when I asked her if she wore a suit of armor and was everyone going to bring their horses to the summer social, etc.

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#54

I thought the term gay meant the clothing brand gap -

So when my friend came out to me I remember I was like “WAIT YOUR A CLOTHING BRAND??!” I was so stupid when I was younger ☠️

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#55

If there was a nuclear war we would all be turned into cavemen

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#56

I thought we could freeze over my backyard in Brooklyn NY...let the water flow into the streets, and I could ice skate to school.

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#57

My proud mother goose once told me if i was to become the goose god i had to attack everybody in the world in fact it's much easier i just named myself goose god and told my friends who told other geeses who told other geeses until every goose thought that i was the one true goose god

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#58

When I was a kid I believed that the tooth fairy was Santa in a Tootoo

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#59

I have a very early memory of a music conductor. I don't remember the orchestra in front of him. So for a while as a young child I thought a very special person with a short stick could create the most amazing music.

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#60

There's some common misconceptions that I was told throughout my childhood but I'm not sure I ever really believed in any of them, as my family was highly sarcastic.... But here are a few, so one of the things I've heard a lot of the time is the car light.. now I was never told that if I turned it on we would get arrested or anything, but one time I left it on accidentally, and then we had to find someone to restart our car, so then my mom and dad just told me not to turn on the light..... One thing my grandmother would tell me was when I stuck my lip out because I was sad about something she'd say 'you better pull it back in or a bird will poop on it,' or 'someone will shove some books in there,' there were more but I can't remember any at the moment...

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#61

So this is more of something that I believe happened but I wasn't told until later years, so I was a toddler, like two or three years old and I was playing in our old backyard, and I stepped on a dead bee. So I screamed which summoned my mother who was pretty much just in the kitchen getting dinner ready, she comes outside and asked me what happens and this is what she says I said; (so this must be read in a childish tone like voice) 'mom, mom, mom! I stepped on a bee and I think it died and it really hurt my foot! And then he woke up! And then he turned into a butterfly! And he started flying away but then an eagle ate him and then he turned into an eagle and then he ate the eagle and then he flew away into the sun!" I'm pretty sure that didn't actually happen... But either way after that my mom took me to the hospital where by the time we got there I had already breaking out and hives and my foot had swollen up to the size of the basketball (exaggerating of course) on that visit to the hospital we learned that I was allergic to bee stings, I don't fully remember this but it's a funny story whenever it comes up....

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#62

I was 15 years old when I got in my first band. Everyone thought being a professional musician was the best job ever. Experience teaches that is not always the case.

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#63

When I was 3 I thought that you would become a full grown adult at 8. C'mon, I can't be the only one who thought this...

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#64

I always believed that when on tv, Will was a real person - e.g. Fire at Will; Poow Will, why are they always firing on him?
Also the usual parents' lies - santa claus, easter bunny, tooth fairy and that when I grew up and lost weight I'd be pretty with lots of friends... especially when I lost weight.

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#65

I believed these stuff below until I was 9.

1. My stuffed toys actually were actually living (like from Toy Story!) and I used to cover them with my blankets, resulting in no blankets for me.

2. When you kiss someone on the lips, your automatically married.

3. The moon follows you everywhere.

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#66

That after years of physical family abuse from my father, my mom would finally leave him.

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#67

That chocolate tea was made with sand. Kept wondering why it didn't taste good. Thanks bro!

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#68

When I was on 1st maybe 2nd grade I thought the usa was the only place on earth

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#69

I thought radio shows had the singers in a big waiting room. When you called the station and made a request, they'd call that singer up, and he'd perform live on the air.

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#70

I thought that the cereal , grape nuts, were the pips from grapes.

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#71

I didn’t understand the concept of centuries when I was a kid. I thought that as a rule, anyone who was born in the 1900s died when the year 2000 started. All the adults in the world were then born, and they grew up really fast in order to have kids. My parents were married in 2001, so by my own logic, they grew up in a year. My young brain didn’t have an answer as to why my grandparents were still alive, nor did it have an explanation for why I took more than a year to grow up.

I also thought that babies teleported themselves outside of the mother. Like, one second you’re pregnant, and the next, your baby is in your arms. I thought it was a fast, painless process. I did not enjoy learning about reality.

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#72

That dogs’ tails didn’t have bones. Once a dog walked past me and it’s tail touched me and I was so surprised 😂

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#73

That at 7yo I was suppose to be grooming myself, feeding myself, taking myself to school.

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#74

When I was a kid, I didn’t know that there were actual plays in football (American). Thought they hiked the ball and ran around and sometimes got lucky, sometimes not.

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#75

I was the smallest child in the class. We ran 50 meters once in PE and I was second best. We lived far from school, I had to take a bus that ran quite rarely, so I thought that if I ran 50 meters in ~9 seconds, then I could run 3.5 km home in ~10 min 30 sec. Silly child!

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#76

my mom told me i needed to "Have faith" for santa/tooth fairy/easter bunny to come that works for a few years
so when she told me i had to "have faith" in god/jesus i said like in santa and she said yes like santa so now that i learned that there is no santa i find it too hard to believe in a god/jesus type of person i got no faith

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#77

If I touched the floor when there was thunder, something terrible would happen to me physically.

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#78

My brothers told that if my soup was too hot I should put salt in it.

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#79

That I will be married and with children by the age of 28... :')

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#80

as a kid, I hated eating meat. All sorts of meat. I was born in the 80s and my mom thought that it was very important for me to eat meat every now and then, specially liver. Well, she convinced me that "this" liver wasn´t of animal origin, but it was a fruit that grew on trees. I actually believed this until I was 8, when my best friend came home after school and my mom cooked liver. I told her the liver was not from animals, but from trees! .. Lets just say my friend knew better, told me the turth and up to this day she tells this story to everyone we know.

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#81

I believed I could become a significant person. I believed that I could one day contribute to society. I believed I would have lots of friends. But I simply became a worthless, pathetic loser without purpose, without friends without a life. I am sitting here in my dark, mould infested room, eating junk food, trolling on people and occasionally masturbating on beach pictures of David Schwimmer.

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