Looking for thoughts on what I should do next or what sort of motivation he might have here. A backstory of our "relationship" – please read to the end to understand where my head is at.

So, about 1.5 years ago, I met this guy on Bumble. Over text, we became overly intimate quite quickly, exchanging fantasy talk and nudes. After about a month, due to something he said in a text, I went quiet because I decided we wanted different things. A few months later, as I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I accidentally mistexted him, and we rematched on a different dating site. We agreed to try again, and everything continued as before.

Then, someone I had previously talked to (a year prior) randomly messaged me, asking how I was. This was someone I had good reason to reject, as he gave off creepy, serial-murderer vibes. Since I hadn’t met this guy I’d been obsessing over for five months, I decided to ask if he wanted to go out sometime. His response was very non-committal, so I concluded we clearly wanted different things and he wasn’t interested. Once again, I went silent.

Then, I’m not proud of it, but during my work’s Christmas party three months later, I messaged him trying to initiate sex. He responded with humor, saying something like, "I don’t think this is for me." In a post-drunk, embarrassed state, I said, "Of course it isn’t." A week later, on Christmas Eve (December 23rd), he messaged me, "Merry Christmas." I obviously took this as hope, so come New Year’s Eve, I replied with, "Happy New Year – best wishes for 2024." This led to us messaging about how the mid-December message was intended for him, and how I’d stopped messaging him in September because I didn’t think he was interested. He replied, "I never said I wasn’t interested," so we decided to give it another shot.

I was determined this time not to make assumptions and would see things through to whatever conclusion might happen. We arranged to meet, and I really liked him in person. I realized I was totally infatuated with his body. Moving forward, things remained slow. We’d meet a few times, but other times, we’d talk about meeting and then it wouldn’t happen. I’d find myself dolled up and waiting, only to chalk it up to a misunderstanding, as there had been no concrete plans. Finally, in June 2024, I straight-out told him it was his birthday and that I wanted to take him out for a meal. I accepted when he said he might be hanging out with friends, but he’d let me know either way. However, I got no response. Again, I wasn’t angry that he chose friends over me – it was the disrespect of saying he’d let me know and then not contacting me at all. I found it hard to let go because, as I said, I’d been chasing him and didn’t want to admit I’d wasted a year obsessing over someone who didn’t choose or respect me.

So, here we are now. Two days ago, he sent me a message saying "Hi," claiming his phone had died but luckily, he found my number on an old pad.

I need advice on what, if anything, I should do. So far, I’ve been polite and acknowledged his texts (which were only one conversation – less than a screen’s worth of text – mid-morning while I was working). I’ve responded quite neutrally, even though I don’t believe his phone excuse for a second. And even if there’s some truth to it, he’s always known where I live – he’s been to my home a few times. If he wanted to stay in touch over the last six months, he could’ve easily done so.