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#1

Losing freedom to choose for myself, be it my clothing, my hair, my medical care, my faith expression (or lack thereof!).... Just don't take my freedom to choose. Or to speak up in peaceful protest!

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#2

The next pandemic...based on how a large percentage of the population ignored legitimate medical advice, spread misinformation, and basically put their individual rights before the health of others (and themselves). If the next pandemic has a higher mortality rate and/or higher transmission rate, the death toll will be catastrophic.

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#3

The death of my son. At the age of 28 He was diagnosed with a rare, and incurable disease called Kearns-Sayre Syndrome (a mitochondrial disease). None of his doctors have heard of it, and if they have - it was briefly. The following year (still 28 years old) they put in a pacemaker - a preventative measure, as his heart could stop at any time regardless of what he’d be doing. Everything that I have read about it tells me the life expectancy is around 50 years of age. He’s 39 now. His hearing has gotten worse, and his gait is off. So much that he now needs a walker. Before he was only using a cane, but he kept falling. Last month he told me he’s been having a hard time swallowing. When my sister and I go to his place, we do stuff like take out his trash, and recycling. I clean the cat litter. There is no medication he can take, only supplements, so he takes those. He can still work, drive, and eat. For the most part he is doing well as can be. He sees his friends, but I pay for Uber rides so he won’t need to drive. Around 4 or 5 o’clock he gets really tired and needs to lay down. My entire family knows, and are aware of his needs (at family gatherings someone will help him sit down, or walk a certain distance, and get him food). It is devastating. I’m only talking for myself here - as his mother - it pains my soul to know I can’t put a bandage on this, tell him he’ll be fine, and kiss it better. Instead, I go to his place, we watch whatever he wants to see on Netflix. Sometimes he forgets he’s shown me a program already, and I’ll watch it again because he’s excited to show me, and that’s fine. Like a little kid that tells you the same joke 87,000 times. I’ve seen the Mandalorian 3 times now. We text every day, and he sends me silly TikTok videos. In late July he and I flew to Southern California for my brother’s memorial. I asked my son if he wanted to stay a few days. He said no, just overnight. He was already tired from flying. After we got back, I took FMLA, and stayed home for 2 months. It wasn’t because of the death of my brother, but of my son admitting out loud his health issues, and accepting that he needed a walker, to take things slower, and be mindful of his limitations. His sense of humour has not waned. His constant silly line - and something he made up - to me is “MOM! Come over so you can carry me into the night.” Unfortunately I know somewhere down the line I will be doing exactly that.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so frigging sorry. I've never seen it, but I've heard of it. Hugs.

Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YOU have heard of this disease?!! Wow. You're the first person to say so. How did you hear about it? And thank you so much. I appreciate it.

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Jessica Snow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're brave... first and foremost, please understand that you are so brave. You're in a very understandably difficult position and all this fear you're feeling is extremely valid - though you probably know that already, it's sometimes nice to hear. Bravery such as yours is special, because it's your fear that drives you to such a bravery... the courage to face this every day even with things in the back of your mind that might not be pleasant... I admire you for this. I am so sorry for your pain and fear, but I so admire you for keeping strong. Fear drives bravery and makes it special. Your son sounds like an absolute shining force, just like his mother. :)

Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This made me cry (in a good way). I don't think about it - I just do whatever needs to be done. My boy is awesome. I know it hurts him to not get married, or have kids. There is so much he is going through that I can't even imagine. Yet he knows that not only am I there for him, but also his 3 sisters, and the rest of my family. Thank you again for such kind words.

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The Amazing Fluffernaut
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am pained because not only can I not expressed my sorriness but for the fact that nothing can be done for me to comfort you

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#4

Population pressure on the planets resources.

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#5

Burying loved ones. Our parents we expect, for that is the circle of life. But my siblings, partner or own children... no thank you. Just let me go first.

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#6

I think of this almost all the time and the only thing that I can honestly admit scares me is being alone. Sometimes being alone triggers that feeling of abandonment from my past... it also triggers the feeling of general panic when I think about the unknown and how much I fear not having someone close that I can trust. Not having someone to guide me through life, because honestly, that's something I need. I almost need my hand held because I'm not fully integrated into society.

Due to my unfortunate upbringing, I was always taught (rather, I was trained) that I would be nothing without someone showing me the way. I was always treated like a misguided child, even well after eighteen years old (I'm thirty-one now) and convinced that I could not survive on my own. To this day, the codependency is real and it's a struggle. One of the more common side-effects of being a codependent is being very afraid of being alone, living alone, going places alone... and it stuck with me. I am afraid of being alone.

How can I safely expose myself to this fear?

The first thing my mind jumps to when it comes to this sorta thing is exposure therapy in and of itself - so for myself, how would I go about facing this fear? I would, ironically, need someone with me for the encouragement, but I would also need to simply spend more time alone with my thoughts. Which I have been, hence where this Shadow Work is coming from.

Escaping the fear is easy. Previous to writing any of my posts, I would do anything possible to get away from myself. I would turn to substances and get so "far beside myself" that I couldn't see straight. I couldn't see my problems. I couldn't see myself. I've since become much more comfortable with my own company for short periods of time - I don't think I could go a whole entire day without panicking, but a good six or seven hours alone doesn't bother me as much anymore! That's progress, right? As long as I have someone with me at the end of the day, I'm golden... but that leaves my codependency enabled to some degree. No, we don't have to live totally alone all the time, but to voluntarily become a responsibility all because I'm afraid is very unfair to my loved ones and to the person I would be depending on.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a few ways I could expose myself to my fear and slowly overcome it: going somewhere on my own (the store, library, or even for a walk), turning off social media for a short while and spending more time alone with my thoughts (uninfluenced), and simply applying coping skills on those days where I am alone longer than I can stand. Yes, sometimes it's hard to remember our coping skills when panic sets in and it feels like free will is stripped from us, but we must remember that we are stronger than our anxieties and we are stronger than our fears. I think simply having more confidence will help me become less dependent on others in the future. That's a good place to start, I think! Baby, baby steps.

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#7

White Supremacists.

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#8

The thought of my children dying before me.

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#9

Losing my friends and family. School shootings at my school, family member school, friends' school... yeah.

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#10

Dying before my youngest child is an adult.

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#11

The US government. Yes I vote.

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#12

Great heights

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#13

Deep water. It just feels like it's squeezing me, and I feel like I can't breathe.
My friends unaliving themselves, and there might've been something I could do to stop them.

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#14

Quite honestly, what I fear most in life is not knowing what legacy would I be leaving when my time comes. I'm not gonna say I'm not afraid to die, but not knowing what I leave behind scares me more. Will I be remembered as a good man, or will people only remember my wrongs? (I'm not a perfect being, I know I have done wrong somewhere at some point).

Perhaps what I can do now is to ensure I leave behind as best a legacy as I can at least. Do right by others so they would remember be as a better man. I will stumble, and I will fall. But when I'm gone, I want others to know that I did what I could, as best I could.

I don't know where I'm headed when it's my time comes, but if people remember me as a good/decent person when I was still alive, perhaps I can face the afterlife with a lighter heart.

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#15

The thought of drowning. I don't have a great reason like I almost drowned at some point in my life, it just has become the dominant fright for me. I guess it's my imagination, and I use it to picture myself being trapped in an underwater cave (how I got there, not relevant), stuck up against the roof of the chamber, clawing blindly at the ceiling. Finally letting go of my last breath, and then marveling at how much blood comes out of my mouth as I painfully choke on the water. ((((((SHUDDER)))))))

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#16

Scared, and curious of death and my family and friends dying. What is death like? Is it just floating in the darkness alone? What would I do when my friends and family are gone? Should I join them. That is what I ponder everyday. But what I most fear is time. TIme is ticking, every second. What if I didn't solve my mistake as my time is over? I will never know when time will end as time is mysterious.

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#17

Not being able to feed my kids.
It is ridiculous somehow, but I can’t help it.
Both my wife and I have a stable situation. We don’t have any problems with money and are very grateful for this. But I am literally horrified to think I could hear one of my sons tell me “Dad, I’m hungry” and I would answer “I know sweetie, I am sorry, there is no food left”.
I am trying to fight against this. And I have a stock of long shelf-life food in case there is a major disaster. I know how to grow vegetables. I know how to hunt. I have a huge rainwater tank and know how to make it drinkable. I had a survival training course.
Despite all this I am still scared. I value their life more than anything else. Being a dad really screwed me up!

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#18

Nuclear weapons & CARNIES! Circus folk. Small hands, smell like cabbage, you know....🎪🤗

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#19

In world war 2, tanks were conventional weapons and nuclear bombs were unconventional weapons. I world war 3, nuclear bombs will be conventional weapons, and I'm terrified to think how deadly the unconventional weapons will be.

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#20

Living too long.

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#21

The United States going fascist, or the extreme "Christian" Right taking over (essentially the same thing). I am just the sort of person who would be rounded up and sent to the death camps.

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#22

1. Cannibalism.
2. So far nothing horrible has happened in my life (like tragedy level) I haven't even broken a bone. I'm not religious or spiritual or whatever but I feel like I will get murdered. Like oh my life is so easy and uneventful that to compensate or balance guess I have to be murdered. This isn't a fear that controls my life just something I think about sometimes.

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#23

Junkies. Drug addiction is out of hand. Crime is up. It's killing cities like San Francisco and Portland, OR. Parks littered with needles, sick people sleeping on the ground. Who on the planet doesn't know that opiates, fentanyl, and meth are addictive but do it anyway? Once you are addicted, even if you go to rehab your chances of staying clean are rare. And if you are successful you spend every day wishing for it. Meanwhile people that need a pain killer after surgery are getting Tylenol. More people stay home now while junkies rule the night. In rural areas they are in the woods. Junkies are your zombie apocalypse.

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#24

What scares me the most is my mother passing away. Hopefully, it won't be for some time yet, but the thought of not having her is terrifying to me. I'm quite independent mind you, but, we are like best friends. Always have been. She's always been someone I could talk to, supportive, and has always been the best mother anyone could ask for. As far as phobia related: Spiders and insects I'm deathly afraid of. Give me snakes, lizards, wild beasts, etc. but creepy crawlies are a NOPE for me.

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#25

Losing the ability to not care of what other people think. I have gotten to a stage in my life, where I discard all of other people's opinions about me, and that took me too long to get to that place

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#26

That was very deep. Wow. Please know that you’ll never be alone, as your close friend, I won’t ever let that happen. You’ll always have me around, and with me by your side, I promise, you’ll never be alone. ❤️ As of right now, my biggest fear is death; not death itself, but the aftermath. Where will I go? What will happen to my soul? Will I be born again? Will I stay in Heaven forever? Will I even make it to Heaven? Will I rot down in Hell? These thoughts frequently run through my head, which does put a fear in me. The biggest fear, however, is the possibility of it simply being lights out forever. In eternal darkness, not being able to see, hear, talk, nothing. That’s my biggest fear. I can’t bare the thought of such circumstances for the rest of my afterlife, whether I’m aware of it or not.

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#27

my family hating me and not being able to choose my own path

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#28

1. Living in poverty again. I hit a point where I was about 2 weeks away from being homeless, and I've never been as terrified by anything else I've been through than that, which is saying a lot.
2. Becoming infirm, incapacitated or vulnerable due to old age or injury. I've seen plenty of people living at the mercy of others, and made sure my medical directives were crystal clear as a result.

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#29

Other people. Other people can be so terrifying sometimes.

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#30

Teenagers

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#31

How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.

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#32

How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.

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#33

Dark water. I see hammerhead sharks almost every time I walk along the pier and look down - often pretty close to swimmers. Also whilst kayaking and snorkeling, and I have no problem swimming in the clear ocean and seeing them. But swimming in a dark lake with no outlet where I can't see the bottom, or much of anything - nope. Even though I rationally know there's nothing in there that can hurt me (though I do live in gator territory, they don't scare me and have always run away when they see me). If I can't see clearly it's a big nope! I guess why some people are afraid of the dark, even in their own homes.

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#34

Murderers/kidnappers

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#35

Developing Alzheimer's or Locked-in syndrome.

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#36

How the world's going to end up in the next few years.

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#37

To live a life without my parents and sibling. Can't even think about it. No. Just no. Family is everything for me.

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#38

Having no one/being lonely

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#39

The idea of a single failure disabling you in at least some way for the rest of your life.

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#40

The unknown, the future, humanity and also failing expectations

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#41

Donald J. Trump

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#42

How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.

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#43

How small and insubstantial we are compared to the known universe. The number of stars in the “known” universe exceeds the grains of sand on earth and universe is expanding more than the speed of light.
Our galaxy, milky way has earth revolving around sun and sun revolving around the galaxy.and still v use the time mostly selfishly rather than helping the human race.
It’s equally scary if v r alone in the universe or v aren’t.

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#44

my asian grandmother terrifies the wits out of me.

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#45

Getting a B in a class. I’m a straight A student and I shudder to think about what my mom would do if I got a B. I skipped a grade, and everyone in my grade thinks of me as “the smart girl”, so it would ruin my reputation at school.

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#46

Having no one/being lonely

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#47

I'm sorry to everyone who uses this, but I'm terrified of straightening irons.

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#48

I am terrified of the future, as well. I find it so scary. I am comfortable where I am right now! I don't want to leave all the people I know, I want to stay! Why can't I hit pause and stay where I am, right now?

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#49

Being put into a nursing home dependent on pharma. If we had the choice to die with dignity and not put the burden of this on our loved ones. Nursing homes are modern death camps and making massive profits. Governments and religions must keep us going, eh?

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#50

Females/J

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#51

Please sort out the duplicates.

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#52

Freddie Krueger

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#53

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#54

being alone in life and shark's

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#55

Zombies, becoming paralyzed (again), losing use of my hands, and being unable to learn how to walk (again).

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#56

being alone in life and shark's

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