I am gender fluid, and the way you described feeling connected with your birth gender is probably the closest comparison anyone can make. Your connection to your gender probably feels natural and "right" (as in "this is how it's supposed to be for me"). You don't question it, because it's as normal to you as your skin. But what if it didn't feel natural? To make a somewhat silly comparison, what if you knew you were supposed to have skin, but you had scales? Wouldn't that bother you every time you looked in the mirror? It would be a constant reminder that your body and your sense of self don't mesh. For me, sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to have skin, sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to have scales, and everything inbetween, plus some extras. Now, this is as best as I can describe MY experience, but please know that everyone is different. Another gender fluid person might have a completely different experience, and they might feel this description doesn't work for them.

I want to know that too

I identify as pansexual because it works for me but I sometimes use bisexual when people don't understand what pansexuality means. My understanding is bisexual have a preference for the binary male or female. Pansexual has a preference for any across the gender spectrum including nonbinary, agender, gender fluid etc. Personally I feel like there is a lot of overlap. None of this is precise and it's good that it's not rigid. We use these words to gain a better understanding of ourselves and others - not to trap ourselves into boxes to be checkmarked.

A trans women is a person who identifies as a women but was not a biological female. A trans man is a man who is not a biological male. There are also trans non binary people

100%. I honestly don't see the need for gendered pronouns in English anyway, so let's normalize using they/them as a default!

mine was special, a combo of my sister's idea and my favorite book

(Context here, I am pan) I really wish people would stop asking me if being pansexual means I'm attracted to cooking pans, if that means I would date them (fortunately for them, i have standards so they wont have to worry about this), if this means I would date animals (I would not) if I'm just bi, how I can be pan if there is only 2 genders (untrue in my opinion), etc.

My opinion is that if they said they're non binary, they're non binary. Doesn't really matter what they were assigned, especially if they were raised gender neutral

There are a few reasons that people come out when still questioning. 1) to find a community that will help them in their journey of finding who they are. 2) it can feel like you are lying to others while hiding that you are trying to figure it out. 3) having a label can be helpful for some people, even if they switch between terms, because it can make you feel less lost

You can ask those questions here. Let us help you if you want some clarity. I'm sorry you get yelled at for genuine curiosity.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you are confused about the difference between what gender someone identifies as and how people express themself. Gender identity is what gender you feel like you have, cis or trans. Gender expression is how you dress, act, or express yourself. A person's gender identity and expression don't always match. As for being trangender, it is a different journey for everyone, some people feel like they have always known, others take a while to figure it out. Not all trans people experience gender dysphoria, but many do. There are a few types of it, I think the main ones are not feel like you fit in your biological sex, and feeling uncomfortable with what gender society labels you based on your biological gender and/or appearance. Sorry for the long answer, hope it helps

Cis, short for cisgender (pronounced sis-gender, or just sis), is a term that means whatever gender you are now is the same as what was presumed for you at birth. This simply means that when a parent or doctor called you a boy or a girl when you were born, they got it right.

i mean it really depends on what your mom is like. she seems like even if she isn't a full ally yet, she's open to it. if i were you, i'd start by telling people you trust (which may or may not include her) how you'd like to be referred to. then slowly branch outwards until you're presenting as yourself. i hope this helps, and sorry if it doesn't

Some people feel like they have always known, and others have more of a journey to find who they are.

I am guessing the same way that you know you are straight.

It took me about 40 years to figure out that I'm asexual. I wasn't even aware that that was a thing, until I really started thinking about it and read up on it. I do identify as Panromantic and Demiromantic (I can be romantic with anyone, as long as I have an emotional attachment to them) Before you know what, I referred to myself as Pandemic.

Most people assume they are normal, so think most everyone else has the same kinds of thoughts they do. Eventually we all realize that not everyone shares our thoughts and interests. Some people realize this in childhood and others take longer. Depending on where you fit in the LGBT+ categories, you may quickly realize you are different from most of the people around you, but it may take longer to sort out how. Supportive family and community helps a lot. Conversely, trying to meet expectations by being someone you're not causes a lot of problems. Imagine committing to decades of self-denial and disappointment because you believe that you have to choose between family/community and a satisfying life. Now imagine thinking that everyone has to make that choice and wondering why only you are so unhappy.

I've noticed in a lot of the questions asked so far, a least to me, there seems to be some kind of unspoken undercurrent of "finality". Like you are or you aren't, period. Humans love black and white and struggle with the gray, but unfortunately life IS pretty gray. Like who you are and how you identify and how you're oriented should, somehow, be "for life". Like when you go to technical school or college and become "X" that's supposed to be it "for life" but it doesn't always work that way. Yes, you can know and be firm in everything you know or finally know (at that stage of your life) but don't treat that knowledge like a bomb proof bunker. As we all grow, learn, experience and change throughout our lives, some things DO shift, or slide, or change and if that happens to you, it's OK! For some people, it WILL be forever, for others, they might slide around. Give yourself permission to explore, at any point in your life. Don't force anything, either way. Happiness to all!

For me, as soon as I hit puberty (and as soon as I learned what "gay" is) I knew I was gay. For many years, though, I didn't, because I had no idea what gay was. I didn't know it was a thing, and spent a significant portion of my life thinking something was wrong with me. That's why it's so important for us to increase representation of the full spectrum of gender and sexual diversity. It can save a lot of kids the trauma of thinking they are somehow, inherently, deeply flawed.

It honestly depends. The average age for finding out is at about 10-11 y.o.

Jody in the dumping ground :)

For me it was watching Wanda in marvel and thinking Damn She's hot

I think that figuring out your sexuality is different for everyone. For me, it took a while to figure out that I was not straight, not to mention figuring out what kind of "not straight" I am (Omni). It was a gradual process and I didnt really have a sudden realization.

You just know, like with being straight. But sometimes, it's a bit of a journey to really figure it out.

It’s the feely feels on the inside. It’s kinda of like how do u know ur straight? U just do! You do you!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️‍🔥💗

One day you realize OH SH¡T IM GAY

When/how do you know you're straight? Yes, same.

for me it was just, not relating to what everyone else was experiencing. like not liking guys like all the other girls were(I'm a lesbian).

I am bisexual just btw From a relatively young age I’ve thought girls (and I am also a girl) are attractive. I was not taught about lgbtq+ from a young age so I didn’t know that was normal and thought it was mildly creepy. But I remember wishing I could pretend to be a boy so this one girl would think I was cute (I was very young at the time, don’t judge me). Then, when I was probably ten, my friends said “happy pride month” on our group chat. I googled the term immediately and discovered the wonderful world of lgbtq+. Another thing is that you don’t always know what you are, exactly. I thought I was lesbian, straight, and pansexual before I settled on bi. Other people take much longer to find a label that describes them and that’s great too.

Depends on the person, honestly.

How do you know if you're straight? ;)

Being bi means you are attracted to two or more genders, and being pan means that you are attracted to all genders with no preference. Nonbinary is a term for anyone who's gender isn't strictly male or female. It can be a label by itself, but there's a lot of subcategories like genderfluid, bigender, agender, etc. So nonbinary isn't a sexuality, and both pan and bi people can be attracted to nonbinary people but not all bi people are.

Not necessarily, there are people who are not transphobic, but are just uncomfortable dating a trans person. If they are disgusted and being rude about it, then it is far more likely that they are transphobic. Hope this helps!

I remember having an 'imposter' phase when I identified as ace, especially since then I thought I was still hetroromantic. In the end, only you can say your identity. Maybe ask yourself some questions, or research on aroace. If you find you are aroace, know that you are 100% valid. Hope that helped!

Honestly, teach yourself anything and everything you can, and don't put the burden on LGBTQ people to explain to you what you're doing wrong and how you can do it right. We don't all want to be teachers and advocates and political statements, we just want to exist. So listen to the people who are comfortable with talking, but don't put any pressure on those of us who just want to live our lives.

Hello Lucky, asexual person here. I agree that it's harmful and sad to not be accepted. Unfortunately, asexuality is often considered a mental illness (when it isn't) that can be treated with medications and the truly horrendous conversion therapy (praying away the gay/ or being forced into sexual encounters). The Trevor Institute says that asexuals have some of the highest percentages of being offered conversion therapy as a way to fix them. There's very little asexual representation in the media and yet have a feeling there's a lot more of us, but so many people are terrified to ever come out to family and friends (I'm 30 and still closeted) for fear of ridicule and not being accepted. Sadly, many LGBT support groups don’t even include asexual teens, youth, and adults in their conversations. All members of the LGBTQIA+ community should be loved and included! Fortunately, wonderful activists like Yasmin Bennoit are working with the LGBTQ+ community to bring more awareness about asexuality. Remember you are loved and valid! If anyone says you are not they are not worth your time.

Xenogenders. They’re controversial because some LGBTQ people believe it invalidates the struggles that LGBTQ people have gone through, like being called the right name and pronouns if they’re not cis. Xenos were coined as a way for neurodivergent people to express their gender identity. Dreamgender started off as a joke but it ended up getting into the wrong hands. I do not think xenos are valid and many people online will come for you if you believe that xenogenders are invalid.

I'm not really too sure, but I would assume if you go to your cities website they would have a date for the pride parade, if they do have one. I know where I'm moving they recently had their first pride parade (I'm really excited for next year! ) And it was on the website, but I will look into that! You have spiked curiosity in me now.

yes - actually, a lot of people now say LGBTQIA+ instead of just LGBTQ, which includes intersex and asexual people

Honestly some people just don't think I'm sorry for how those people act ❤️

Extraordinary, my friend

Tumblr. I have a friend who's genderfluid on there. TikTok also has some (for example: it's so hot outside all my genderfluid friends boutta become gender vapor)

I see my past self as still being non- binary but being unaware of it. I don't really see my past self as a true reflection of myself because I was not truly myself. I struggled with my identity before I even knew that being nonbinary was a thing

I know you aren't looking for terms to identify with but before I answer your questions, your relationship with gender seems to match the terms cisgenderless and cassgender if you would like to check them out! An example I've heard of how gender works is that when you are born you are pretty much assigned a identity, like what if you were told to live your whole life with scales insteas of skin. The scales would feel weird wouldn't they? Gender is like that you are forced to have scales when you are more comfortable with having skin instead. And sometimes it isn't scales, it could be fur or it could be a mix of scales and skin. No matter what though, one fits better than the others. For the second set of questions, thinking someone looks attractive doesn't always equate to being attractes to them. But that's really all I can explain as an ace person. The difference between platonic and romantic is complicated though. So you should probably do your own research instead as I am aro.

Aroace here, being asexual is definitely part of the LGBTQIA community. It even shares a part of the acronym. I'm sorry that you get harassed, I suggest you do some research about why asexuality is part of the community to use as proof for being valid if that helps.

I like the pan or ace flags personally, but I might be biased

Did you know back in the day they would roll me up and light me on fire :D

yes

I don't agree with any of these answers, so here's my two cents. EVERYONE LGBTQ+ or not should practice what they preach. Whatever your friend is going through is NOT an excuse to treat others that way. They're toxic. Their gender or sexuality has nothing to do with that. This is a question for the wrong people. It's absolutely not human nature to disregard everyone's emotions. In fact it's the opposite. Instinct tells us we should stick together, as there is strength in numbers. Only in life or death situations does instinct tell us to value ourselves over others. If they're setting boundaries that they won't follow, that's a problem with them. Not their gender or sexuality, or anyone else for that matter. My suggestion is having all your friends as well as you sit them down with a speech prepared about what they do and how you feel. If they disregard you after that, drop them completely. They're not a friend, they just want to feel oppressed.

It's a symbol of all our pain and hardships we have faced in the past and still do. When we raise it it's our way of saying that we won't be broken down or be silent about our mistreatment. Different people go through different types of pain but it's within the same community. The classic rainbow flag represents all of us, and there is a flag for gay men, lesbians, and transgender individuals. As well as bisexual, asexual, and nonbinary. There's more specific flags for more specific identities though. We are normal, but we've also experienced non-normal predjudice, hence why we have the flags. Thank you for your question.

Yes, it’s refreshing!

I would ask if they have a preference, but if they don't, I would alternate the use, or at least try to mix it up a little. Like "she said they wanted her book back" or "they are my friend. He couldn't come today though"

The LGBTQ Fandom Wiki should help! I have a friend who uses it sometimes!

Someone raised to be "straight" will probably always be overwhelmed by discovering the community (and themselves being in it). Don't panic, it is normal. It is a process to find out what you identify as/with. While you are at it, just enjoy life and allow yourself to be surprised by what you find. // As for your previous relationship: I imagine it being very confusing having to discover yourself and reacting to changes in your partner while you are unsure yourself about what you are. You really hit a "jackpot" there, friend. :-(