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Hey Pandas, What Made You Realize Your Friend Wasn’t Your Friend?
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#1
Context: I stood by her side when her fiancé cheated on her and dumped her. Listened to her endless cries and complaints, went on vacations together so she wouldn't feel alone, defended her when others were insulting her.
About a year after, she met someone else. At the same time, I was hospitalized for a health issue and was going through a depressive period. She didn't bother to give me call, because she wouldn't spoil her vacation with her new boyfriend. She also claimed I was faking being depressed.
During a night out we had together, somebody asked her whether I was her friend, and she was like "nah, she's not my friend". Then she told me not to be upset, because there was no one in her life that she could call "true friend".
I also found out she had been extensively gossiping with everyone about my family issues (domestic violence) although she had specifically promised me not to do so. That was the end of it.
Several years after, she is still complaining that "nobody wants to keep in touch with her and to be her friend". :))
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#2
He revealed how sociopathic and greedy he was. He didn't understand the difference between jokes and threats. He made d**g references constantly. I try to keep my distance but it's quite difficult.
#3
We where in high school, had been best friends for 3 years until that point and then one day they just decided to not talk to me again. At all, I never found out why.
#4
Has happened to me many times over. Sometimes people just wake up one day and decide to ghost with no indication as to why. For me, most of the times I have unfriended someone is when they blatantly betray my trust. Trust and respect are both earned and can be destroyed deftly with a simple phrase or attitude. That being said, I have yet to be betrayed or disrespected by domesticated pets.
#5
Context: She has been my friend for seven years by now. I am a pretty smart person, and she knows, but I don't brag about it.
A few months ago, when we started school again, she made it her mission to ruin my life. She constantly berates me for anything and everything. She even turned the rest of my friends against. They would all expect the absolute best from me, but whenever I did my best, I would get yelled at.
I have tried talking to her about it, but she always ignores me whenever I bring it up. I happen to be doing classes a few grades ahead, but I still attend my same grade classes.
She has decided that I should be ashamed of being smart. I have tried really hard to fix our friendship, but nothing works.
I haven't ended the friendship yet. If I do, I will have no friends in my class, but I will be a little more free.
Do you guys think I should?
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 hour ago
Absolutely. A friend should never make you feel that way. You're young, and have lots of time to make new friends.
#6
I had a best friend that I met when I was 14 (she's a year younger), we did everything together, went everywhere together, and then I moved away at 17. Re-connected with her when I was 18, almost 19 years old and it was like we hadn't missed a beat. Several years later I moved in with her because she needed a roommate. Let's just say that there was a line of men coming in and out of the place, and sometimes she didn't break up with one before moving onto the next. I'm not shaming her, but it was stressful with the lack of sleep I was getting. One Valentine's Day she went on a date with a new guy, and her current bf showed up at the house with flowers and chocolates, to take her on their date. Before she left she told me that I could break up with him for her. I was pissed, but I had no choice but to tell him that she wasn't home. And then there was the late night noise from said bf's. I asked her to keep it down so I could sleep, and her response was "you're not my mother." Last straw at that time was taking the rent money and going on vacation with it...not telling me about it. I got a call from the rental office asking where the rent was. We got evicted. Again, I lost touch and then started talking 2 years later after her then bf saw me in a store. Fast forward...she's getting married, tearfully says I'm her best friend and no one knows her the way I know her...and proceeds to ask someone else to be her maid of honor. That was baffling and hurtful, but I understood to some degree. I now know that it turns out her bf at the time/husband, when our friendship ended, was controlling and abusive, which, looking back on it makes sense. After they moved to another province, we slowly lost touch with each other. I'm ok with it now.
#7
i discovered my very close friend wasn't the person i thought she was when she criticized me for not being available for our regular lunches and get-togethers as i had been in the past. the reason: my 21 yr old son's partner had passed away 3 months after giving birth to their child. he had returned to my home and i was helping him in any way that he needed, whether that was just giving him space to grieve or helping him learn how to care for the baby, etc. she told me that she 'needed me more because he was a grown-a*s man and he needed to grow a pair if he was going to be a single parent or give the baby up for adoption'. i think i was in shock because i actually didn't slap the spit out of her mouth. needless to say, i limited any future contact with her and then she had the audacity to wonder why we didn't get together any more.
#8
When she slept with my husband, while I was asleep upstairs. I should add that her husband and small son were also asleep upstairs (different bedroom, they were staying with us). Unfortunately, I didn't find out until almost a year later. When I did, I stopped talking to her. We all divorced, but her betrayal hurt worse than his did. We were like sisters for 15 years.
Looking back, I now understand more of the reason she did it. There was something about her that compelled her to try to make every man love her. Something broken inside due to her upbringing. I just never thought she'd cross that line with me. I hope that, in the years since, she's found healing and has been able to be happy in life. I still can't bring myself to reach out, though, 25 years later.
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