Hey Pandas, What Made You Decide To Have Kids? (Closed)

I'm still 21, and in college, so kids are a long way off for me. However, I've always known I'd want kids someday. But I was curious: how did other people know/decide that they want kids.

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I tried to imagine myself in my seventies, and then I made up a scenario where my current version (at the time) asked that elderly woman why she hadn't had kids. It was an interesting experience, because all of the reasons that made sense to me in my twenties didn't hold up. I just couldn't give a satisfactory answer to that question. And then I started to understand that the real reasons were much more painful, I was afraid to fail, I didn't trust myself to take care of a baby, I had so much fear. I also began to accept the fact that there is no perfection, and that the most important thing is being willing to learn new skills. I know I'm one of the people who would've regretted not having kids. My son and I are so happy together, I know I've made the right decision.

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Final score:

11points

Tatiana de Campos

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Elle Lian 1 year ago

I love the thoughtfulness of this answer.

4points

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What made me decide to have children? The failure of my contraception!
Seriously, I did not plan my two, but they are both the best things to happen to me.

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Final score:

8points

Margaret H

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My wife always dreamed of having two children. When we eventually had one she said "That hurts, we aren't doing that again".

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Final score:

8points

Mark Trombley

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tabithapaquette98 1 year ago

You can't blame her for that!

5points

No light bulb moment. I just always knew I wanted to have have kids. I had three and it has its ups and downs but I would do it all over.

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Final score:

6points

The Mom

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Adam L 1 year ago

Same for my wife and I, unfortunately it took us 6 years with a few miscarriages and our son was premature. That being said, we would do it all over because he makes our life happier.

3points

I didn't decide to have kids. I honestly never wanted to have kids. But I got pregnant by accident after doctors telling me I'd never have kids. Best thing that ever happened. There's nothing in this reality or any other that I would choose over my (now 2) kids.

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Final score:

6points

Doodilydoo

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Two lines on a pregnancy test :D Just like 3-4 days after very serious talk with my fiancee that we both don't want to have kids to make sure we are on the same page... Our daughter had a different opinion and she decided for us ;)

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Final score:

5points

Bols

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I always knew I wanted to have kids. My 2 sons are the love of my life.

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Final score:

4points

Susan Green

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I was Young and dumb. Now I understand why my mom told me to make sure my wife uses birth control

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Final score:

3points

Boyo

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I wish I could say it wasn't a conscious choice, but after a couple of years of observing both the joy and chaos caused by the progeny of our friends, the wife and I decided that perhaps we should give the masochism tango a try.

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Final score:

3points

Javelina Poppers

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#10

This might sound stupid but when 911 happened it really brought home the fact of our mortality and how we really have no control over it. We wanted kids, we were engaged and we just decided not to put it off. Now we have a family if 8 and I love every second of the chaos

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Final score:

3points

Jaime Brosnan

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Rodney McKay 1 year ago

Huh. For many people, 9/11 was a reason to 𝒏𝒐𝒕 have kids.

0points

#11

I got pregnant after 6 years of marriage with no contraception. We only needed one heir to the throne. We love her to pieces

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Final score:

2points

Vermonta

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#12

I watched my friends and people I knew have children and found myself jealous. I knew I didn’t want to be a single parent so I waited until I found someone I could commit to and who seemed like he’d be a good father. We have two more and we are thinking of a third. I feel like I’m decent at writing but when I try to put into words how much I love these little guys and what they mean to me, I find there aren’t words that are adequate.

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Final score:

2points

Elle Lian

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#13

It was time, we sat together and talked, I really wanted kids, she was less certain but mainly because she is way smarter than me and can't help but see all the challenges to come. We agreed that we loved each other but had space to give love to someone new that was part of us both. It took us a long time to conceive and we checked in with each other along the way that we were both still up for this. I think it just felt right for us, we were happy, not trying to fix anything and ready to be parents. Then our first child arrived, he didn't sleep through the night for 5 years, he is fun and interesting and full of curiosity, at 10 now fortnight is life and he will spend hours telling me about it. Our second child was born around the time the first one started sleeping though, he is an agent of chaos, another non sleeper who will enter a room destroy it and then come over for a cuddle. Honestly it's the best.

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Final score:

2points

Robin

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#14

Now I am way to young to have kids, but I plan to, on the basis that I look back at young photos of me ALL THE TIME, like me when I was 3/4/5 primarily (most of them) such as the one in my pfp, and not being self centered but I was the cutest kid ever xD and I just have always wanted a little one of my own to take care of and drive to school in the back of my fast car and yeah :)

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Final score:

1point

Little O

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#15

none yet (still a minor) but i want to put some good in the world, even if its only a little.

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Final score:

1point

starsailor (they/he)

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#16

A few reasons. My own mortality (after mum’s death at 58i was 29.), my mother in law would make the most awesome grandma. And that maybe I was missing “the point.”

We decided to try, and 2 days after I found out he was deceitful.

6 weeks later I was sat peeing on a stick hoping to all heck I wasn’t because I would never cope as a single parent.

Negative.

Big sigh of relief. And now, 10 years later, I realise my reasons weren’t good enough.

My last 2 partners have been snipped and I have no regrets.

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Final score:

-1point

Doodles1983

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Rodney McKay 1 year ago

A vasectomy is the one get-rich-quick scheme that actually works.

0points

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What do you think ?

Rebel Peewee 1 year ago

We were on the fence about it, and I hated the societal pressure. But then my cousin, who is like my older brother, have a child and gain a newfound sense of wonder. It was fascinating to watch and made my husband and I feel like it could be our next great adventure. We were older, finally confident in our abilities, established, secure. But we only had one. He gets our full devotion and our family feels so complete.

Never Snarky 1 year ago

It's just what women did when I was first married. After one very much wanted adorable girl, I knew this was not for me. She was very well taken care and much loved. She's now 53 and we have always had a great relationship. But I'm so happy I stopped at one.

Lene 1 year ago

I never really wanted kids until the first weekend I spent with my current bf. I always thought that IF I were to get pregnant it had to be with someone I could imagine being with for at least 18 years because I'd hate to be a single mom. Then during the first weekend with my bf we talked long and late about what we wanted in life, which was pretty much the same, and we had simillar ideas about what we saw as important in terms of raising kids. We now have 3 daughters and it can be extremely tough but it is also just so rewarding to see what sort of people they are becoming. The only things that make me a bit "sad" about parenthood is that my family is so f***ing dysfunctional and that I was 38 years old when I learned that the reason life is so difficult is that I'm gifted and having traits of autism. If I had learned this earlier I am sure I would have had a better life and better able to help my kids with what may be giftedness as well.

Hey Pandas, What Made You Decide To Have Kids? (Closed)

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Matt Ronald Slater

Matt Ronald Slater

Gabrielė Malukaitė

Gabrielė Malukaitė